WAG New Fears of Falling...Please Help!

[txgal]

DD9 just moved to L5 (she will 'officially' be moved as of Feb. 1st, but for the past 6 weeks she has been working L4 hours with the L5 team). When she was an L4 and given the opportunity to uptrain, she loved every minute of it. Now, as an L5, she's terrified of the new skills (some of which she had and has now lost!). She has moved to a new coach, but she is not completely unfamiliar with her. She is also with a new group of girls but, again, they have been her friends for several years.

She is to the point where she won't attempt any of the new skills without a spot...her coach, knowing she had most of the skills (all she was really missing was the clear hip on bars) asked her why she was suddenly afraid to try the new skills and she said she was afraid she might fall and hurt herself. She has been competing gymnastics for 3 years and has never, ever, shown any fear of falling and getting hurt (even when she did actually fall and get hurt!) until now. Is this a typical phase for a gymnast and, if so, what do I do to help her get through it? I've tried encouraging her to try the skills with the coach standing next to her; I've tried telling her that if the coach thought she would get hurt or was not ready to try the skills she wouldn't have been moved to the next level; her gym big sis has even tried encouraging her, but nothing seems to help--she is adamant that she is going to fall and get hurt.

Any positive advice is welcome...her season is still several months away so I know she has time to work through the issues, but I'm distraught watching my super flyer (her coach's nickname for her) suddenly be freaked out by pretty much every skill.

 

[iwannacoach]

This could be a case of being careful for what you wish, because you just may get it. She's probably a bit overwhelmed with the reality of what the next level up is doing in terms of routine skill work drills for up training. So maybe she's showing the coaches, and you, that every one will have to be patient and understanding while she wraps her mind around her own progress.

Don't make anything of it. Listen to her, remind her that kids get moved up because the coach knows what they can do, and let her know she'll always be the first and best solution to her skillwork challenges.

 

[thefellowsmom]

We dealt with similar this last spring. All of a sudden skills started coming very quickly, she started getting a lot of attention and talk of moving up and skipping levels started. All of a sudden she was balking at skills and stressing herself out and crying at practice. All this just a few weeks before states. We were all so confused because she was having so much success.

After talking with her it was exactly what IWC was talking about. She was a little overwhelmed about it and worried that all of a sudden she was being asked to do all these things that she had always seen as so far off but now they were right in front of her. Scary!

It took a couple weeks but we all just backed off her. My motto with her was to focus on today and what your coach asks you to do in the moment and not worry about anything that is going to happen tomorrow or three months from now. We just kept her really focused on today and her coaches stopped pushing a bit. They even sent her home one day early from practice with instructions to lay in a hot bath and watch some mindless tv for the night.

She just needed some time to process it all and in a few weeks and after state was over she was back to doing all the skills she was scared of and begging for more. She got her mind around it and figured that she was actually comfortable and excited about how capable she was and she just took off like a rocket from there.

I would see if she is willing to talk to you about identifying what feeling are making her scared. This can be hard but sometimes if i plant a few seeds and let her stew on them she may be better able to articulate what is going on. My advice is to gIve her a little space to think, take as much pressure off as you can, give her her comfort items or activities often and try to just remind her to focus on one day at a time. You have no control over anything but how hard you work today. Tomorrow will take care of itself tomorrow.

Congrats to your daughter. Sounds like she is doing great. I'm sure it will all work itself out.

 

[cbifoja]

I really agree with Fellowsmom's assessment of the situation. My daughter has had all these random but thankfully short-lived fears crop up here and there. I attribute it to how fast she's been moving lately. She went from L3 to L5 to L7 and is just starting her 3rd year of competition.

That's a pretty big skill jump and I think her brain just needs some time to catch up with her body. She's also pretty immature socially/emotionally so even though she can pick up the skills, that doesn't mean her brain has agreed that these things are good ideas! LOL

I also take a low key approach. When she tells me she is scared, I reply with "That's pretty normal at your level. Have you talked to Coach X about your fears?" When she invariably says no, I just mention that she might consider it. I end with "I believe in you and know you are talented. You'll do the stunt when you feel you are ready." Then I change the subject.

I never bring it up. I don't reiterate our conversation before practice. I don't ask about it after practice. I go with the idea that it is both normal and able to be overcome. However, when I see her do the stunt, I make sure she sees me smiling and giving her a thumbs up. When she does it but I miss it, I just smile and tell her that I'm happy that she is working through her fears. And then change the subject!

 

[cbifoja]

I also wanted to offer this as a contrast:

Another one of our gymnasts has TONS of fears. And her mother feeds into it: she asks after every practice, "did you throw X? Why not? You're not going to get hurt. Just throw it. Go back in right now and let me see you do it."

The child receives tons of attention over her fears. She balks over and over and over again and makes a big deal about it. And her fears last FOR. EVER.

I just don't think that's a great approach because the child is basically being given positive reinforcement (attention) for NOT throwing the skill. If her mom would be more nonchalant about it, I think her kid would get over it much more quickly. But that's just my opinion......

 

[emilykatherine]

Our coach tells us that we are going to fall. She just flat out says it, but she goes on to say that everyone falls every once in a while. Most likely you won't get hurt there is a chance that you can and when you get hurt there's nothing you can do. It's going to happen and there's nothing you can do to prevent it except quit
Almost every gymnasts goes through a time where they can't do a certain skill. For really long time I wouldn't vault. It just wasn't happening so my coach pulled me to the side and told me that she didn't care that I wasn't vaulting but she wanted a reason and I couldn't give get one so after that I went to vault again and things just clicked I don't know why but they did, she just needs time the skills will come and she'll stop be omg afraid.

 

[Natasha]

I agree with letting your daughter know A) it's normal to experience fears when you move up a level. and B) You are not worried about it at all.
This is important, because if your daughter senses that you are stressed out about it then she will begin to believe that she should be stressed out about it too. Let her know that her coach has lots of experience helping gymnasts work through their fears because almost every gymnast experiences it at some time and that you are confident that she and the coach will work through it just fine...and then stay out of it.