MAcastsalot
Proud Parent
- Apr 22, 2014
- 355
- 199
I get what you are saying, and I have definitely felt tempted to do the same before. It is hard to watch them get left behind because they can't connect the work to results just yet. And like I said before, offering incentives becomes detrimental if it is a regular thing, not the occasional reward. However, I think we underestimate them sometimes.
For example, DD (6) really wanted to join team, so she spent every second she could get at open gym last year working on skills so that she could impress the coaches at tryouts. She is naturally strong, but really needs work on flexibility, but stretching is no fun so she didn't work on that.
Fast forward to this year and she is level 2 scoring near the top of her team. She will condition all day long at home for fun, but her coaches have mentioned to her (and me) many times that she really should be stretching at home if she wants to move up and not struggle/fall behind. Every time they mention it, she does it for a few days then quits. I knew that even though she's had a successful level 2 season, that she could be held back if she struggles with the level 3&4 skills that require more flexibility. I told her as much, but I also told her that it is my job to take her to and from gymnastics, cheer for her at meets, but that is as far as it goes. About a month ago she came home very upset that they had a split competition and hers were the worst. Guess what she's been doing every day now, without fail? Not sure if she'll keep it up through the end of the season, but a gentle reminder is all she will get from me if she doesn't. Will it hurt me to see her fail? Yep. Will it teach her a valuable lesson? You bet. Repeating a season/waiting a year for team is not the worst thing in the world, and can give them time to develop more of the work ethic needed for the next step. They learn to connect hard work to results by working hard and seeing results, or not working hard and being passed by, and by protecting them from that we are only delaying that lesson.
All that being said, that is my kid, and she is the type to be motivated by failures like that. It would be harder for me to stick to my guns if I thought she'd quit something she loves because things got hard.
For example, DD (6) really wanted to join team, so she spent every second she could get at open gym last year working on skills so that she could impress the coaches at tryouts. She is naturally strong, but really needs work on flexibility, but stretching is no fun so she didn't work on that.
Fast forward to this year and she is level 2 scoring near the top of her team. She will condition all day long at home for fun, but her coaches have mentioned to her (and me) many times that she really should be stretching at home if she wants to move up and not struggle/fall behind. Every time they mention it, she does it for a few days then quits. I knew that even though she's had a successful level 2 season, that she could be held back if she struggles with the level 3&4 skills that require more flexibility. I told her as much, but I also told her that it is my job to take her to and from gymnastics, cheer for her at meets, but that is as far as it goes. About a month ago she came home very upset that they had a split competition and hers were the worst. Guess what she's been doing every day now, without fail? Not sure if she'll keep it up through the end of the season, but a gentle reminder is all she will get from me if she doesn't. Will it hurt me to see her fail? Yep. Will it teach her a valuable lesson? You bet. Repeating a season/waiting a year for team is not the worst thing in the world, and can give them time to develop more of the work ethic needed for the next step. They learn to connect hard work to results by working hard and seeing results, or not working hard and being passed by, and by protecting them from that we are only delaying that lesson.
All that being said, that is my kid, and she is the type to be motivated by failures like that. It would be harder for me to stick to my guns if I thought she'd quit something she loves because things got hard.