Women Question on a rude coach?

[gymnasticsluver12!]

Hey guys, so last season I had the nicest coaches because the one I have now, "quit." Well she came back when the other coaches ended up leaving because of family issues. Now, this coach thinks she's everything and more. She has pretty much taken over the head coach position of our girls team. Well basically her coaching style is yelling, screaming and threatening the gymnasts. It's gotten progressively worse. She has "favorites." I am NOT one of them. She constantly singles me out for things that I didn't just do, but the whole team. She's 22, I'm 15. I can tell she really dislikes, if not, hates me. My parents, other gymnasts parents, and other GYMNASTS have seen how she mistreats me. At the last meet on beam a lot of girls fell on warmup, including myself, well her response to that is to clap and say "Oh great job! Just fall of the beam!" She said this in front of the whole audience. When I fell off one time, she looked directly up at my family and rolled her eyes. I fell off the beam twice, which granted, deserves some critique, but she came up SCREAMING in my face on how "bad that routine was" and when my 8.1 came up she got right up in my face and said "You got SOOO lucky." I was holding back tears.
Okay, well aside from that meet, at practice, she texts for a good 5 minutes per event. She makes all gymnasts do things they have never done before on LOW beam, on a high beam with no spot. I was scared of my BWO on beam, she screamed at me to go or leave, when I didn't go, she pushed me off the beam and started telling me how much I suck and how I'll never improve. Once again, I had never done one on low beam. Not only is she extremely rude, she punishes us with conditioning if we fall of the beam, this is against the owners rules. He doesn't know she does that. Oh and not to mention, she doesn't believe when someone is hurt, she makes them continue. The whole team is miserable. We always know the second she starts talking to us on whether it will be a good day. There is more, but it would take like 5 more minutes to type. I just want to know what you would do? My mom and one other gymnasts mom are going to call the owner, but I'm afraid of what she'll do if she finds out MY mom called. Thanks!

 

[Dyimnasta]

Wow... I really feel bad for you! That sounds horrible. It's great that your mom is talking to the owner. That should really help. How about you have your mom ask the owner not to say who called about your coach. The owner could bring it up to the coach by saying, "One of the parents has talked to me about some of your decisions." Or something similiar.

 

[emorymom]

You are basically in the adult world -- you are in a job you generally like in an organization you're somewhat loyal to but your new boss SUCKS.

(1) Do you have an exit strategy? Is there another gym you can go train at if the owner / HC says "too bad" or is ineffective at changing the training environment? Because sadly these things so often are unworkable and a quiet and diplomatic exit becomes necessary.
(2) Do you have a documentation strategy to show owner / HC so that it is not your word against hers, that you are not being an unreasonable or difficult gym member, and/or to have in case Rude Coach starts lying about why you left?
(3) If you do nothing, how long do you have to live with this situation before you progress to a different coach? And/or is a "transfer" possible?
(4) Would a number of your training group be willing to go TOGETHER to meet with owner, to say "either she walks or we do"?

Just some ideas.

 

[GymMom67]

When our gym hosted a meet, I saw some coaches that made me so thankful for where we are and the wonderful coaches we have. I think your mom is doing the right thing. It is not OK for the coach to treat you like she is, and borders on abusiveness....especially if she is doing things like pushing you off the beam when you do something she doesn't like. The owner definitely needs to be made aware that this is going on.

 

[iwannacoach]

Time to send in your secret weapons....... mom and dad. They're best able to tell this immature,.... uhmm, coach that her message is never going to be understood when it's delivered at the top of her lungs. Personally, I'd stay just long enough to have my parents videotape a few practices, and use it to put together a montage' of the best of her worst to share with her in private. Maybe then she'll see how negative and non-coachish she is.

Ya see, anybody can yell and say negative things. She's proven that much, and I think she's trying to prove she's a good coach. Geez, she's got a long, long way to go before that'll happen.