Questions about the itty bitty team members.

[Deanna]

Im a fairly new gym mom, my daughter has been doing gymnastics for 2 1/2 yrs but only on team for a couple months. I know I sound silly sometimes, and my "problems" trivial compared to most, but this is all new to me, and Im learning as Im going. So I will probably ask alot of silly questions for a while. LOL

My daughter joined the team in June as a age 4 level 2 (she turned 5 the 11th of this month). In the begining she was the youngest on the team, with another girl that was 5 when it started. All the others are older and have been on team before. In the begining she was really good at paying attention, and doing what the coach asked her to do. The begining of this month another little girl age 4 joined. Now her and Kadee do alot of playing between sets. I mean they do what they are supposed to do, but instead of standing there and watching the others till their turn again they are jumping up and down and being silly. I expressed my concerns to the coach about this. She said its normal for kids their age to be this way, and not to worry about it. Part of me agrees and part of me is concerned. My concern being..I dont want her to act this way at meets. (They plan on her competeing at meets that have a level 2 entry). I dont want it to reflect on her and I dont want it to reflect on the gym. I also dont want to be one of "those moms" either. Should I sit her down and say something about proper behavior during meets or let it go for now and see if this playing resolves itself? Like I said she was good till this other girl her age joined at the begining of this month. Maybe after the newness of it all wears off she will go back to "behaving"? I dont want to sound like she is being unruley, she isnt, they stay in line, they are quiet, but acting like, well 4 and 5 yr olds. I just dont want it to get out of hand. I really dont know what to do. Unfortunatly this other age 5 girl she was paired up with before is no longer there. Not sure what happened to her. Any advice? Just have a little talk, such as, "Kadee, you know the playing around you do with so and so between sets, you cant do that at competitions."? Or just keep my trap shut for now, and let the coaches deal with it if and when they feel it becomes an issue?


Okay, my other question. As I said, this is Kadee's first year on team. She just turned 5 and is next to the youngest on team. And one of only two who are new at her level. Some of these girls have been this level for a year or two so of course are better. I guess my question would be, is this pretty much par for the course for most gyms? At most meets she goes to is she going to be one of the youngest most unexperienced in HER level? I know she has to start somewhere, and she will by no means place at every meet, but I dont want her to get frustrated either. Thinking she never wins, so why bother? Know what I mean? She loves the sport, and is VERY hard working. (when shes working..lol). She is the one that wants to do it over and over till she gets it right even though the coach is happy with how she does it. She compares herself to the bigger girls in her level and she will keep doing something until she feels its at their level. Yesterday she had practice and she did a frontwards roll on the high beam and was able to stand without using her hands. She did two and the coach was happy with that but she wasnt. This was the first time she did it on the high beam, and wasnt ready to stop yet. She told the coach I want to do 3 more so that I did 5. The coach is always telling me that she does things like this and talks about how smart and disaplined she is for a 5 yr old. Last week it was her headstand. This is for her floor routine..forgive me but Im drawing a blank on what she does before this, a backwards roll i think..into a half split (im sure thats not what its really called..im still learning..lol) then she lowers her head to the floor and slowly brings her legs up till she is in a headstand (not hand..just head). She tried a few times, and the coach was happy with how she did it, but she wasnt. The coach said the first time Kadee said, no I have to do it again, I wasnt completly verticle. The next she was, but she said she forgot to point her toes. She is very tough on herself, and expects perfection from herself, and gets very upset when she cant do things. Because she is so rough on herself I just wonder how she is going to handle possibly not placing at all her first year on team? How do I deal with this? I dont want her to lose her passion for it. She is good, I think she is, the coaches think she is..but she doesnt. Is this a dangerous self image to have at her age (well any age really)?

Im sure Im not the only one who faced these issues with the itty bittys, how did you all, as coaches, parents, and gymnast deal with this? Im sure these issues come up with each level you go up, at first you are the new one, the least experienced at that age. So I dont know. Im not asking what to do, but just what you did? What worked for you, and what didnt?

Thank you so much, I know my posts are always long. I try hard to make it short, but for some crazy reason feel like I need to go into great detail about everything. Sorry please bear (or is it bare?) with me. I will get better at this the more I learn. I will just be able to say, ie..a pullover vrs, you know that thing when you flip over the bar and end with your arms straight, and your pelvis up against the bar? And then feel like I have to explain even more because that didnt make sense to even me..LOL
Im doing it again, Sorry. Any advice would be great thanks.

 

[Kiwi]

Your DD sounds very talented! I've just been through some of this with my DD (7) who started competitive gym a year ago and competed level 1 this year (so I'm also kind of new at this!). At first she did muck around with her mates, like you describe, but once competition season got going she started taking it all more seriously because she wanted to do well.

My DD is also very hard on herself, she is very competitive and wants to win all the time! However, with 30 kids in a competition, everyone can't win! I had a talk with her about how gymnastics isn't just about winning but about doing your best and working hard to improve. After each competition we analysed her events and scores and identified what she had done well and what areas she could work on improving, with the aim of trying to get a better score next time. This idea seemed to work for her, it took the emphasis off the prize aspect of the competition, she did improve throughout the season, and she seemed to get a lot of satisfaction out of getting better scores on some of her events.

My DD also gets very frustrated when she can't get a skill quickly and will get very down on herself about it. I always encourage her to believe in herself and tell her that she has to work at the skill by chipping away at it consistently over time, so she learns to not expect it to all come instantly. For example, at the moment they are learning back bends, down to bridge and then back up to standing. I told her to break it down into parts, so focus on the back bend first. So she practiced that and now she can do it and was so proud of herself, and it has proved to her that practice works! The next step will be to focus on the getting back up again.

I want her to learn how to work at things because I was exactly like her as a kid and I never learned how to work at things, if I didn't get things perfectly straight away I just gave up, and I don't want her to be the same as I was, someone who gives up whenever things get difficult.

 

[gym law mom]

Welcome to the CB. As far as her behavior it is age appropriate and don't get stressed over it. If the coach isn't concerned then just let her be 5. At meets if they are waiting to move to another event, many times the girls will be sitting or taking a potty break. My guess is the coach will talk with the girls and parents before the 1st meet about behavior.

As for getting awards, well I can tell you L2 isn't competed all that much and not at all in our state. My guess is they give all the girls ribbons for doing each event. They may or may not do placements for individual events or all around. Honestly, I think for kids that young just giving some ribbons to everyone is enough. The girls are divided in age groups, but she may be in groups with other 5 yos at one meet and 5/6 yos at another---just depends on how many girls they have at or around her age. Of course you would only see the age groups done if they award placements.

You mentioned others on the team for a couple of years? I would hope this gym doesn't keep girls on L2 more than 1 season unless they totally don't get skills for the next level. L2 is really more of a rec level and most girls should move through it quickly if they even compete it.

Have fun with the season and don't worry about ribbons, medals or dd acting like a 5yo. Sit back and enjoy her having fun.

 

[Bobby]

I love the sound of the coach. That's kind of my ideal on managing small children (ie: low key, low stress, making reasonable allowances). There's no prob for now at the gym because coach and girls are all happy. I see what you mean about the future but the coach will prob adjust her response over time as required.
As for competitions, it's so unlike practise she's bound to behave much differently than at practise. My DD is a newbie too, but I'm pretty confident she'll take her cues from the bigger girls about how to behave.
PS: Love the sound of the fwd rolls on beam!! She's a star. My 6 y/o is still being reminded to keep her knees together on floor!!

 

[DbacksMom75]

I wouldn't worry about it to much, some 4/5 year olds can't even stand in line! My 6 year old stands in line fine but when she gets her turn but can get spazzy on the aparatus (like running back and forth across the high beam, jumping over and over on the vault board, ect). I also worry about comps because she doesn't like the idea of that stiff walking she wants to jump and skip off the floor. LOL She is just a ball of fearless energy!
Sounds like she is having a ton of fun because she has a teammate her age. I'm sure the coaches will let you know if it becomes a problem.

 

[coachinkal]

Sounds like typical almost 5yo behaviour. The coach's advice that she is not concerned, supports this.

Coaches would normally brief all children on proper conduct prior to competitions. I actually run a couple of classes in competition mode for the lessons leading up to a competition so everyone knows what to expect.

Sometimes I have had children in a class who clash or act really silly when together. I have then swapped the order of the line/make sure they do not sit next to each other to avoid any problems. This is only if they are being disruptive, doing anything dangerous, or not training properly due to distraction. I wouldnt separate otherwise.

 

[10.0]

She is 4 of course she is going to play with the other kid her age. It is totally normal and fine so long as it does not become a safety issue such as not paying attention to the coach anymore and doing something unsafe. I have coached kids like that where it was becoming a safety issue and we would split them up into different groups. I wouldn't take it that far yet though, she is only 4 and gymnastics has to be a fun for her to stick with it. And it sounds like she puts a lot of pressure on herself already so it may be a good thing to have a little friend to help with the stress. As far as competitions, you can talk to her and the coach should have a talk with all the girls about proper behavior before every competition and what is expected, and again if the 2 can't be by eachother the coach may wish to seperate them as much as possible at the meets.

As far as winning at meets and such, they have age groups for each level and they are usually small age groups like 4-5, 5-6 etc. not 4-10. So she will be up against girls her own age which will tend to be closer to her ability level. I don't know many 4 year olds that understand great form yet. Also most of these meets go out several places like 50% plus 1 not just 1st 2nd and 3rd. So it is very likely she will get on the podium most of the time, and some of them even give every kid an AA award and at that age all they know and should know is they are being called up to get a medal or trophy not that they placed 20th out of 20 kids, none of my little ones ever figured it out. Anyways that should help with that stressor. Good luck in you and your daughters gymnastics journey, just remember you are there to support her through it (mentally and of course money wise) and to be her cheerleader, never her coach. Don't get to wrapped up it in and just enjoy! You may have the future Nastia on your hands or a great kid who will want to quit in 2 years to play tennis, you never know. Just be in the moment.

 

[NGL780309]

I think it's pretty normal. I do get on my child and ask her not to do that. It's not just her age either. Girls are DD's team that are much older do it too.

I have no experience with competition and how the kids will react. Our gym starts competing at L4. DD is just 5 like your DD and is on the L4 team, but won't compete as you must be 6 to compete L4. At least your DD has someone her age to be with. DD is 5 and her teammates are 8-11 years old. She's really the baby.

 

[lilgymmie7]

Take your cues from the coaches and especially your daughter. My DD was 4 when they moved her to level 5 and 5 when she was moved to level 5. As soon as she was 6, she competed level 5 through a rec. program to gain competition experience. If her coaches would have told me at 4 what she would be doing now and how much better she listens as a 6 year old, I would NEVER have believed them. She used to do cartwheels rather than wait in line. She didn't like to wait her turn as a 4 year old so would jump in line to try it again. She was a hand full! She played with everyone around her. To me she was priceless. But I saw the irritation in the coaches. Yet they worked with her and now she is a world of difference. And the best part is that if I look at her maturity level as a whole OUTSIDE of the gym it is remarkable. Last year as a kindergartner, she asked her teacher if she could do all of her weeks homework on Monday because she is so busy the rest of the week at gym. I didn't prompt her, she decided on her own. She always finished her weeks HW on Monday. And she never complained. Let's see what happens this year as a first grader.

Today two of her teammates told me she did her full into the pit and on the resi, her front and back walk-overs on beam, and jumped to the dreaded high bar! She has gained the respect of her older teammates. She trains with the level 5 and 6's. The age range is 6 to about 13. My DD is also the youngest. They always tell me of her daily accomplishments because they are so proud of her! That speaks volumes of what gymnastics does for my child. It has been a great ride thus far for her. So rely on what her coaches tell you.

As an educator myself, I never wanted my daughter to be the wild child. But because I relied on the knowledge of her coaches, I am seeing the positives of her early involvement in this sport. I just hope it continues! She loves it, and that's all I am really hoping for anyways!!

 

[lilgymmie7]

I forgot to answer about the perfectionist qualities. Little kids want to please. That is natural. In part it is good that she keeps trying. It sounds like her coaches are very nurturing and applaud your daughter's efforts as a whole. As a gym mom it can be hard to let go of our kids and depend on the coaches to nurture our kids. But there is a lot to be said about gymnastics being kept between the gymnast and the coach. The more we put our two cents in the more we confuse our kids. Again, rely on your DD's coaches. I have bitten my tongue at times and for the most part it has come out fine. Really I have no complaints. When your daughter starts to compete remember to be her biggest cheerleader, and she will be able to see just how good she really is.

 

[coachmolly]

Like basically everyone else has said, I wouldn't worry about it too much. She's only 5 and many exceptions should be made in regards to her attention span and behaviors. I know that it can be really hard, especially when she is grouped with older children, to see her acting younger, but it is important to remind yourself that she is only 5 and is at a different place developmentally than the older girls in her group. I think it's a sign that she has a really great coach that she is able to see that and coach her accordingly. Too often I think the problem is with coaches who refuse to acknowledge differences between a 5 year old and an 8 year old and find themselves getting very frustrated with the little one. But, as a coach, I expect something much different from a 5 year old than I do from an 8 year old, even if they are in the same group.
As far as meets are concerned, it will probably be a totally different experience which could greatly influence her behavior. I would just say wait and see how the first meet goes and then go from there. There are plenty of older girls who still don't know how to behave at meets, so if she does act silly, just know she certainly isn't the only one!
Her perfectionistic tendencies sound pretty normal as well. I was not involved in gymnastics as a 5 year old, but if I saw someone doing something I wanted to do (a cartwheel, riding a bike) I would work at it non-stop until I got it. I have also coached some kids a little older than your dd who see a teammate doing something and will work until they get it too. I think it's a combination of wanting to feel that sense of accomplishment, wanting to please coaches, just wanting to keep up with their classmates, and a very driven personality. When she's in a situation where placements are given, at least early on, it might not be easy if she doesn't perform her best or doesn't place, so it should be something you are prepared to deal with. Just let her know that trying her hardest is the most important thing, whether she gets a medal or not. Maybe find a way for her to keep track of her progress so that she can see she is improving even if medals/ribbons aren't received. Have her make goals not related to scores/awards like staying on the beam, doing x skill with straight legs, that kind of thing so she can feel a sense of accomplishment without material rewards. It can be really hard for any gymnast, but especially a young one, to do their best and not place, but it also allows them to strive for the things that are in their control.

 

[Shelovesthebars]

Hmm...Sounds like a dream coach to me! It sounds like she has a pretty good grasp on child development. I also have a new 5 year old competing level 3. She has always been expected to act like the older kids just because she has the skills they do. It has sometimes been very rough on her and she has had her struggles.

 

[Kiwi]

When she's in a situation where placements are given, at least early on, it might not be easy if she doesn't perform her best or doesn't place, so it should be something you are prepared to deal with. Just let her know that trying her hardest is the most important thing, whether she gets a medal or not.

My DD cried at the end of last year when she didn't get a prize at the prizegiving. This year the coaches of her class have been giving out a little trophy each week for 'gymnast of the week'. It is given for hard work and improvement as well as skill, and the coaches try to make sure all of the kids get a turn. She has been awarded the trophy quite a few times and is always excited when she gets it.

Maybe find a way for her to keep track of her progress so that she can see she is improving even if medals/ribbons aren't received. Have her make goals not related to scores/awards like staying on the beam, doing x skill with straight legs, that kind of thing so she can feel a sense of accomplishment without material rewards. It can be really hard for any gymnast, but especially a young one, to do their best and not place, but it also allows them to strive for the things that are in their control.

This is great advice about aiming for things they have some control over.

 

[mumoftwogymnasts]

Both my gymmies, with input from their coaches set "meet goals" before each competition. Things like, sticking their vault landing, straight leg dismount from p-bars, staying on the beam etc. I've noticed that one of these goals is pretty much guaranteed to always be achievable, the others are things that they have to strive harder for. But it takes the focus off winning and/or placing and puts it back onto goals that they have set for themselves.

 

[Deanna]

Thanks everyone. You have offered some wonderful advice. I will take all into consideration when things start getting closer to the wire. Im sure I will have more questions along the way.

 

[Midget's Dad]

I just got to reading this and I have to say that she sounds like she is right where she should be. And if the coach isnt worried I would not either.

When Midget was 5 and doing L2 several parents went to the coach and asked why their kids weren't as focused as Midget. The coaches answer was simple, they are 5! Midget was the exception, not the rule. Thankfully she has chilled out a bit, still focused but not quite so obsessed with it.

We competed L2 at non-sanctioned meets and Midget had a blast, and it has done wonders for her poise and assurance as she prepares for L4 this year. I would not worry too much about how your DD will act at the meets either, generally they are so busy dealing with nerves and just watching everyone else that they dont even think to act up.

Good luck and have fun!!