Parents Sharp's home raided last night

[AgingHippie]

My girls were in GS for a few years each and there were several times in which they were in a car with other girls and one mom. I'm not even sure anyone knew the rule was out there. If it had been followed there would have been a lot less outings for sure.

 

[mommyof1]

My girls were in GS for a few years each and there were several times in which they were in a car with other girls and one mom. I'm not even sure anyone knew the rule was out there. If it had been followed there would have been a lot less outings for sure.

Our troop leader says that the rule is if the carpool is officially organized by the troop you need two adults in the car. If it is a carpool arranged by the parents to get the kids to a troop event and is not coordinated through the troop leader, then it's up to the parents. Just what we have been told by our troop leader, who is very rule-oriented.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

The Girl Scouts have a rule that forbids any adult volunteer to be with one or more children without a second adult present. This extends even to troop-0rganized carpools; if you are driving girls to a field trip, you must have a second adult in the car. Does USAG have such a rule? If not, why not? And if USAG doesn't have this rule, do gyms' insurance companies make it a condition of coverage? The rule wouldn't necessarily have prevented all of what reportedly went on in this particular case, but it would certainly help.
.

I was wondering this as well.

I would expect there would be guidelines, especially regarding overnight stays.

Most places have these type of things in place.

My OB, no physical exam without a nurse present. Dentist, no closed doors. Church, altar servers area in the community room. Mass prep, includes adult readers/ministers, priest and alter servers (as in no grown ups completely alone with kids).

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Our troop leader says that the rule is if the carpool is officially organized by the troop you need two adults in the car. If it is a carpool arranged by the parents to get the kids to a troop event and is not coordinated through the troop leader, then it's up to the parents. Just what we have been told by our troop leader, who is very rule-oriented.

Yep I would expect that as a liability issue.

Families arranging things different then "officially" by the organization.

 

[raenndrops]

My YG heard about this and immediately related it to a character on Make It Or Break It. At not even 11 years old, she told me that "now that one girl told, a bunch of others will speak out too. I hope they get help."

I love my gymmie. And she is, unfortunately, most likely right.

I hope all those affected directly or indirectly get the help they need.

 

[bookworm]

I know that there are some gyms out there that travel to meets with " just coaches and athletes" ....kids stay with the coaches the entire time; for meets at a distance, gymnasts share rooms ( older with younger) with Coach supervision....a family I knew that was at a gym with this policy said " parents could travel to the meets but never with the team....parents were actively encouraged to be on a different flight and preferably not in the same hotel as contact with family was not permitted anyway"....she said she thought this was so they could " be focused" and she never questioned it... I would never let my kid do that because it can lead to things like this story unfortunately...

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I know that there are some gyms out there that travel to meets with " just coaches and athletes" ....kids stay with the coaches the entire time; for meets at a distance, gymnasts share rooms ( older with younger) with Coach supervision....a family I knew that was at a gym with this policy said " parents could travel to the meets but never with the team....parents were actively encouraged to be on a different flight and preferably not in the same hotel as contact with family was not permitted anyway"....she said she thought this was so they could " be focused" and she never questioned it... I would never let my kid do that because it can lead to things like this story unfortunately...

Yeah ummm no, especially at a young age.

 

[profmom]

Well, beyond horrible things like this, it also leaves room for coaching practices that I have observed and found quite troubling (I'm talking about very negative, berating, harsh coaching exercised on young optional girls at a travel meet without, apparently, a single parent in earshot).

 

[bookworm]

Well, beyond horrible things like this, it also leaves room for coaching practices that I have observed and found quite troubling (I'm talking about very negative, berating, harsh coaching exercised on young optional girls at a travel meet without, apparently, a single parent in earshot).

And there's that too

 

[l.c.o]

I know that there are some gyms out there that travel to meets with " just coaches and athletes" ....kids stay with the coaches the entire time; for meets at a distance, gymnasts share rooms ( older with younger) with Coach supervision....a family I knew that was at a gym with this policy said " parents could travel to the meets but never with the team....parents were actively encouraged to be on a different flight and preferably not in the same hotel as contact with family was not permitted anyway"....she said she thought this was so they could " be focused" and she never questioned it... I would never let my kid do that because it can lead to things like this story unfortunately...

My DD's team has their upper level optionals do this. It also happens at at least one other local gym. Thankfully, my DD isn't at the level yet that requires any decision-making on my part.

One one hand - it could be an amazing experience for my kid. Lots of bonding with coaches and teammates, and learning how to navigate the world without mom and dad (but with a safety net) would be great lesson. But one coach, who DD and I both so far love dearly, is male. Not looking forward to the decision.

 

[Gymbee06]

We used to have to apply for a pass to be able to take photos at competitions even as a parent but British gymnastics appear to have got rid of this now

 

[shelovestoflip]

You are missing the point. Talk with your children. Turn off negative influences. Tell them that their feelings matter. When they are made to feel uncomfortable, speak up. My DD recently told me that someone was 'Creeping her out'. I took action. She knows to talk with me. Yes, we live a WWJD mentality. In a world where all of this is occurring, we all need a stronghold. Otherwise we tend to look at unhealthy avenues. Religion should not be looked down upon.

Well, actually, I'm not missing the point at all.

I'm just not agreeing with your point.

I think on this list, we should be able to agree to disagree.

I've been in this group a long time and have been a gym mom long enough to know that everyone on this list has opinions. And most on this list will not last long term, as the dropout rate is high in this sport. I've learned a lot here and hope I have added insight when I have it!

 

[GymmieC]

Well, actually, I'm not missing the point at all.

I'm just not agreeing with your point.

I think on this list, we should be able to agree to disagree.

I've been in this group a long time and have been a gym mom long enough to know that everyone on this list has opinions. And most on this list will not last long term, as the dropout rate is high in this sport. I've learned a lot here and hope I have added insight when I have it!

I guess I don't get how one leads to another. List? What list are you speaking of? Whatever. Yes, we all have opinions, same, different, whatever.
I commented based on your previous statement. I was not speaking in terms of agreeing, not agreeing, etc. I have been in this sport for well into 25 years...never realized that long...just with my two daughters.
If we agree to disagree, is there a need to get huffy? I don't know if you are, but I wonder. Either way, I will leave it alone. Things tend to unravel so easily here. This I have seen. Very unfortunate. If I have offended anyone, well I apologize. That is never my intention. But what good are intentions anyways?
Fact of the matter is that this Sharp situation is very bothersome. But the most I can do is watch my child, and avocate for her and the children I come in contact with.

 

[munchkin3]

This is terrible....it's not religion, or lack thereof....it's a very sick warped man who has preyed on kids....he cannot be fixed....
He should get what he has coming to him in jail, and he will.....

In the meantime, I have always told my DD, who is smaller than everyone, cute as a button, to never trust anyone 100%......to listen to her 'perv radar' and she has my permission to kick right in the groin if she feels a threat.....(even with boys at school!)

She has gotten the willies many times from men in her 10 years, and I've always listened.......also, if she ever felt a threat at gym, she would not hesitate to tell me......plus her two big brothers can also kick some **s.

It has nothing to do with watching practice, or not watching.....it has to do with knowing what your kids are doing at all times....even if you are not physically there....

during practice, kids are practicing on the floor with their team......period.....they should never be off in a room somewhere!

 

[GymmieC]

This is terrible....it's not religion, or lack thereof....it's a very sick warped man who has preyed on kids....he cannot be fixed....
He should get what he has coming to him in jail, and he will.....

In the meantime, I have always told my DD, who is smaller than everyone, cute as a button, to never trust anyone 100%......to listen to her 'perv radar' and she has my permission to kick right in the groin if she feels a threat.....(even with boys at school!)

This is the point I was attempting to make. Religion has nothing to do in this matter. We need to be vigilant and mindful of what Could happen. We need to arm our children, our friends children, our students, etc with the know how to Tell someone before it is too late. We need to have open discourse with them about all things.
Unfortunately, this will not be the last incident we here in the gym world, schools, or churches. Now more than ever with the perverse showings on television, movies, etc,
Our children need to know what is appropriate and what is not. Never trust a coach, teacher, another parent at 100%. Be Vigilant.

 

[SignHere]

Well, beyond horrible things like this, it also leaves room for coaching practices that I have observed and found quite troubling (I'm talking about very negative, berating, harsh coaching exercised on young optional girls at a travel meet without, apparently, a single parent in earshot).

Unfortunately, this.

Also, consider ... Women's Gymnastics forces these things at younger ages than other sports, perhaps. I have a 15 year old in team sports and a 10 year old gymnast. I am much less concerned about sending my 15 year old off on her own with her teammates and her coach chaperoning than I am about my 10 year old. Both are girls, but the emotional maturity, well, there is just no comparison.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Unfortunately, this.

Also, consider ... Women's Gymnastics forces these things at younger ages than other sports, perhaps.

I'm not getting the forced part.

My 10 yr old would not be going off with any coach by herself. Not even if it was to Worlds or the Olympics (and yes I realize a 10 yr old can't actually compete at those events)

 

[profmom]

If you have multiple children, unless you have an enormous amount of disposable income, you will find as you get into upper level optionals that dragging the entire fam along to every meet is not happening. Even if you have an enormous amount of disposable income, if two people are earning that income, you are not dragging the entire fam along to every meet.

In the old days at our gym, kids used to travel with coaches to big meets. Now that really doesn't happen, but some kids do travel with other families. To give just one example, DS's teammate's family runs a small business that has a big event every summer the same weekend as Future Stars training camp. DS's teammate comes with us and stays in a hotel room with either DS or one of DS's other teammates who does Future Stars.

A ten year old who's competing as an optional or in another highly competitive environment will often have to grow up a bit faster than most children, and traveling to meets and operating fairly independently in that environment is only one facet. Of course, it is always the family's choice to facilitate a child's development as an athlete to the extent that lengthy travel is required at a young age.

Finally, it's worth keeping in mind the unfortunate reality that USAG's coach screening requirements are likely far more rigorous than those employed at your last family reunion. Most episodes of child sexual abuse take place in a home.

Ah, Signhere, thirteen to fifteen year olds -- that magic age where they're old enough to go off independently but not yet old enough where they're more likely to go looking for trouble!

 

[Deleted member 18037]

If you have multiple children, unless you have an enormous amount of disposable income, you will find as you get into upper level optionals that dragging the entire fam along to every meet is not happening. Even if you have an enormous amount of disposable income, if two people are earning that income, you are not dragging the entire fam along to every meet.

A ten year old who's competing as an optional or in another highly competitive environment will often have to grow up a bit faster than most children, and traveling to meets and operating fairly independently in that environment is only one facet. Of course, it is always the family's choice to facilitate a child's development as an athlete to the extent that lengthy travel is required at a young age.

Finally, it's worth keeping in mind the unfortunate reality that USAG's coach screening requirements are likely far more rigorous than those employed at your last family reunion. Most episodes of child sexual abuse take place in a home.

Can only speak for our family. There is a big difference between taking the whole family vs at least one trusted adult to meets.

For us at least one adult per meet is a cost of her sport. Sure she is more then capable of handling herself at an uneventful meet. And she is not capable nor should have to handle perhaps an accident or getting hurt at a meet requiring a trip to the hospital. Not, traveling, staying at a hotel, meals etc... without someone I am comfortable with and no I don't include coaches because to me that blurs lines. Coach is in charge of her gymnastics, her guardian of the moment (Dad, Mom, adult brother, adult neice) is in charge of every thing else.

Most abuse takes place by someone you know. And even at the family reunion I wouldn't just drop her off for the weekend and leave without a plan a person I trust.

And yep I guess that person could be hiding secrets, it would be highly unlikely though but at that point I would have to rely her honoring her ability to say no and tell.

But no for our family, a 10 yr old is not going off without us to meets. Not sure what age we would be OK with it, if at all.

 

[Canadian_gym_mom]

Can only speak for our family. There is a big difference between taking the whole family vs at least one trusted adult to meets.

For us at least one adult per meet is a cost of her sport. Sure she is more then capable of handling herself at an uneventful meet. And she is not capable nor should have to handle perhaps an accident or getting hurt at a meet requiring a trip to the hospital. Not, traveling, staying at a hotel, meals etc... without someone I am comfortable with and no I don't include coaches because to me that blurs lines. Coach is in charge of her gymnastics, her guardian of the moment (Dad, Mom, adult brother, adult neice) is in charge of every thing else.

Most abuse takes place by someone you know. And even at the family reunion I wouldn't just drop her off for the weekend and leave without a plan a person I trust.

And yep I guess that person could be hiding secrets, it would be highly unlikely though but at that point I would have to rely her honoring her ability to say no and tell.

But no for our family, a 10 yr old is not going off without us to meets. Not sure what age we would be OK with it, if at all.

For dd, she was 8 the first time she travelled with team Ontario for T and T. Then again at age 9 for Artistic and T and T. There is no choice when they represent the Province at Eastern's, or another meet. They travel with the team. They fly with the team, room with another athlete, and are responsible for the most part for everything on their own. There is a team coach and team manager to help them with their hair, make sure they are up and ready, etc. but for the most part they are on their own.

I did go to the meets, but I flew out on my own, stayed in a hotel, and saw dd only at the meet venue.

This being said, they do not stay in a room with another adult. They room with an athlete of similar age and level. But it was a huge deal for us to allow her to go. But she earned her spot on the team and we knew her own coach would be there (female). I have never heard of anyone not allowing their dd to represent Ontario at Nationals or Eastern's.