Parents sleepovers during meet season?

[SHELOVESGYM]

I'm not trying to start an argument but feel I need to say something. I have been on a lot of chat boards -including several parenting boards. This board definitely takes the cake for strong opinions and personal attacks. I have to say while I do love this board it does get somewhat exhausting. In this particular case I am wondering why anyone should have "trouble" with my level 3 daughter taking what I described as a "rare" private lesson. You know nothing about me, my daughter, her gym, the reason for the ONE private lesson, etc and I felt that this was extremely judgmental. I also think some of the members with kids further along in the sport should remember that a gymnast's very first meet EVER is a big deal at the time -probably a bigger deal than one of the many high level meets that an advanced gymmie has been to at this point. So please try to remember that while what my daughter is doing now might not seem to be a big deal in the grand scheme of the sport -in our lives at this moment it is HUGE. This post is not just referring to the post on this thread, but in general I see a lot of judging going on on this board. I am sure every single one of us has been overly judged by family and friends for even having our kids in this intense sport. On this board can we try to hold back these judgements and be more supportive?

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Honestly I am having trouble with the private lesson for lvl 3. I know that's not the point of the post but it seems like at this level practice should be enough and missing out on the sleep over because of the private lesson seems sad. Moving forward in gymnastics there will be so much she has to miss due to hours of practice and competitions. It gets harder not easier so I say do it while she can.

My daughter did privates at Level 3. She was fine tuning her floor. Personally we (her parents) felt she would get more out of a couple of privates then adding an extra day to practice, where they couldn't drill down to the detail my daughter needed. And 2 or 3 privates take less free time then an extra day of practice each week. It worked her floor score went from 9.2 and 9.3s to 9.6-9.8s. And my daughter feels she gets more out of them as well.

Now would I schedule a private on the same day as practice? No, I want her sharp for her private.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

to add, which would we do, private or sleepover. It would depend.

If the sleepover was scheduled first I would schedule the private another day. If the private was scheduled and within the cancellation time to not pay. I might reschedule. If the private was paid for, no sleepover.

Although our privates are later in the day, so she could nap at home after the sleepover.

 

[gymdog]

I'm not trying to start an argument but feel I need to say something. I have been on a lot of chat boards -including several parenting boards. This board definitely takes the cake for strong opinions and personal attacks. I have to say while I do love this board it does get somewhat exhausting. In this particular case I am wondering why anyone should have "trouble" with my level 3 daughter taking what I described as a "rare" private lesson. You know nothing about me, my daughter, her gym, the reason for the ONE private lesson, etc and I felt that this was extremely judgmental. I also think some of the members with kids further along in the sport should remember that a gymnast's very first meet EVER is a big deal at the time -probably a bigger deal than one of the many high level meets that an advanced gymmie has been to at this point. So please try to remember that while what my daughter is doing now might not seem to be a big deal in the grand scheme of the sport -in our lives at this moment it is HUGE. This post is not just referring to the post on this thread, but in general I see a lot of judging going on on this board. I am sure every single one of us has been overly judged by family and friends for even having our kids in this intense sport. On this board can we try to hold back these judgements and be more supportive?

Please take this in the spirit I intend it, but unless I totally missed something this thread has been pretty light on judgment. So in that case I guess we agree that things can sometimes get tense here.

But also, you are starting on a journey that is going to be filled with emotionally fraught circumstances. You are going to second guess yourself, your daughter is going to second guess herself, there are going to be coaches you don't like, coaches who might not like you. Sometimes our defensiveness (both parents and coaches) stems from a place where we are already second guessing ourselves. I personally believe we need to ultimately come to terms with that and I'm not sure it's helpful for us to blow glitter everywhere when someone posts something.

So, if you're doing one carefully planned private, own it. Just say that. If someone here has a problem with it, who cares? But also keep in mind that some people have been parents of level 3s, have made certain mistakes or put their foot in their mouth or just generally did things they wish they could take back. And so they're eager to try to help others understand. It's not coming from as sanctimonious a place as it might seem, is what I'm trying to say, sometimes the topics that get the most tense are because people have been there, done that, and made the mistake and want others to see that. It's coming from their place of second guessing themselves.

 

[emorymom]

I would contact the parent and ask if it could be rescheduled to Saturday night. Explain that her "Friday" does not start until Saturday at 3pm or whatever. Tell them you're happy to host. If not this weekend, next weekend.

 

[SHELOVESGYM]

Please take this in the spirit I intend it, but unless I totally missed something this thread has been pretty light on judgment. So in that case I guess we agree that things can sometimes get tense here.

But also, you are starting on a journey that is going to be filled with emotionally fraught circumstances. You are going to second guess yourself, your daughter is going to second guess herself, there are going to be coaches you don't like, coaches who might not like you. Sometimes our defensiveness (both parents and coaches) stems from a place where we are already second guessing ourselves. I personally believe we need to ultimately come to terms with that and I'm not sure it's helpful for us to blow glitter everywhere when someone posts something.

So, if you're doing one carefully planned private, own it. Just say that. If someone here has a problem with it, who cares? But also keep in mind that some people have been parents of level 3s, have made certain mistakes or put their foot in their mouth or just generally did things they wish they could take back. And so they're eager to try to help others understand. It's not coming from as sanctimonious a place as it might seem, is what I'm trying to say, sometimes the topics that get the most tense are because people have been there, done that, and made the mistake and want others to see that. It's coming from their place of second guessing themselves.

. Yes true, lots of good advice on here too.

 

[SHELOVESGYM]

My daughter did privates at Level 3. She was fine tuning her floor. Personally we (her parents) felt she would get more out of a couple of privates then adding an extra day to practice, where they couldn't drill down to the detail my daughter needed. And 2 or 3 privates take less free time then an extra day of practice each week. It worked her floor score went from 9.2 and 9.3s to 9.6-9.8s. And my daughter feels she gets more out of them as well.

Now would I schedule a private on the same day as practice? No, I want her sharp for her private.

Private was before regular practice

 

[lovegymnastics22]

We had a coach that always scheduled privates before practice. That way the kids had time to practice the corrections immediately and she could see if they were making them during practice or use the time to re-emphasize them. The kids would have a break and a snack during the regular warm-up. It seemed to work really well.

 

[GymAuntie]

Maybe I'm way off, but I'd think totally forbidding sleepovers might lead to "this is not worth it." OP has a fine line to walk, and there's a risk either way.

If she goes, she might be too tired to perform at practice and private.

BUT....

If she's forbidden she might end up distracted and resentful at practice and also not perform her best.

As an outsider I'd say there's no perfect answer. You don't want to keep her from every kid activity at 7 at risk of burning her out or just making her completely resent the sport.

I like the suggestion made above of inviting the other girl to sleep over at your house on Saturday night barring any religious complications (different churches, one family goes to church and one family doesn't, or the 2 families are different religions). That way you get a win-win. She gets her fun sleepover and you and the coaches get a well rested gymnast for practice and private. She will also have something to look forward to after a long day at gym.