Parents Starting to panic a little

[miltongrl66]

My DS goes back to school next week and I am starting to panic about how we both are going to be able to adjust to school and team practices three times a week. DS is 10 (almost 11) and starting 6th grade. He practices three days a week for a total of 11 1/2 hours. He gets out of school at 3:00 and practice starts at 4:30. The gym is 30 minutes away so we will have to leave home at 4:00. Practice last until 8:00 on two of the days and at 7:00 on the other. Thankfully the short practice day is a Friday. He also plays a musical instrument and has an hour long lesson once a week. I'm starting to worry about how much of a toll this is going to take on him. I'm also worried about school. He has always been a very good student but I'm worried that his grades might suffer. To add to my anxiety, my mom tells me every chance that she gets that this schedule is too much for DS to handle. I guess I'm just looking for some support from others whose children have busy schedules. I don't want to freak out before We actually try to make it all work! Any words of wisdom?

 

[MILgymFAM]

Every kid is different, but the thing that is common is that we parents shouldn't freak out until there is a reason. Kids can handle more than many give them credit for. My DD is also 10 (almost 11) and going into 6th grade. Last year she had school, 2 hrs of dance, 6 hrs of gym, and 2 hrs of karate a week, and she thrived. It was actually the first year we had no fights or struggles over homework. This year she will have 3 hrs of dance and 4 hours of gym, and I am hoping she isn't sad over not having karate anymore. Lol.

 

[gymgal]

He probably will handle it better than you will! Seriously, most kids take the new schedules in stride. Just keep on the lookout for signs of stress, fatigue, etc but he should be fine. Lots of girls that age are already going 15-20 hours a week and they do well. Just have to keep on top of the schoolwork and make sure he gets some downtime on the free weekends. You as a parent? - that's a different matter. I swear I am more stressed by the commute, expenses, travel planning, etc than dd is about her 25hrs a week + school

 

[profmom]

My DS is about the same age as yours and also going into sixth grade. Last school year was in the gym 11 to 15 hours a week, and added on a two-hour open gym every chance he had. This year, he'll be there at least 16 hours a week. He does have to be a lot more organized than many of his peers, and getting those required trumpet practices in can be a challenge.

The key for us (and with a DD in the gym closer to 18 hours a week) was that one non-gym week night every week was a no pressure night. I didn't nag them about homework or instruments or cleaning the cat's litterbox. We often played a family game or watched a movie together. Yes, it made the other days a little more pressured and stressful, but I think it really helped to preserve a little mid-week oasis to let everybody recharge a little bit.

I desperately hope that we're lucky enough again to have everyone have the same weeknight off!

 

[Quadqueen]

He will likely adjust just fine. My DD is going into 6th grade and practices 19 hours a week. Gym is also half hour away for us, and she also plays a musical instrument. Certainly it depends on the kid, but I think a full schedule really helps them prioritize.

 

[skschlag]

My ds is heading to 6th grade as well. Bus comes at 7, home at 3:30, and practice from 6-9 every night and 9-12 on Saturday. maybe they have Tuesday off....but he will most likely wnat a private Or they will add i tback in.

He did similar schedule last year nad he adjusted way better than I did. I was the one tired all the time, wanting to stay home LOL! He loved it, got good grades, etc. They do have to learn to be efficient with their time, so D often did homework in the car, etc.

Give it a shot, and pay attention to his behaviors, etc. He will let you know if it is too much.

 

[miltongrl66]

Thanks SO much for the encouraging words!! Just what I needed to hear!! I think it may take a few weeks for us both to get adjusted but I'm now feeling more optimistic that it will ultimately work out!!

 

[Amusibus]

We had a similar schedule 2 years ago - 3 hour gym practices three times a week, and one 3 hour dance practice once a week, all on school nights. My daughter was 6. She did not adjust at all. She became progressively more stressed out and badly behaved, and her school work suffered. We dropped dance completely and switched her to a more low key team program that practices 2 nights a week. Totally different kid. Happy, behaving, learning, never complaining about going to practice - and what she does do in her reduced hours is better quality.

Then again, she was six. Our gym does a lot of hours really young in developmental - a handful of five year olds are going up to 20 hours a week now. They are the "pre-tops" group.

Just saying, probably most kids do adjust, but some won't. Maybe mine would have if she had been older, but knowing her personality, I doubt she will ever want to do a zillion hours a week like some kids do.

 

[motigymnasticsmom]

First of all, Tell mom to BACK OFF!!!! You know your son better than anyone else. My dd did 11 hours starting last year in middle school and she is on the advanced team at school. She does chorus at school and has a performance every 9 weeks. She gets out of school at 4:15 and has to be at gym by 5:00(she doesn't reach b/c she rides the bus home and gramps takes her from home to 20 minutes away to gym) Thank God it all worked out with a breeze!!!! She made straight A's, aced the CRCT, made state team and went to regionals. Just encourage him not to get discouraged and give up. Keep the lines of communication open and let him know if it ever gets too much, just let you know asap. BTW, most gymnast already know how to handle the balances of school, gym, and home. Good luck to your son this year!!!!

 

[Tbrov]

One thing I would add to the advice you have already received, is that you may want to keep weekends as mellow as you can - meaning don't overschedule with sleepovers, shopping trips, outings, etc. This was hard for my husband and I to adjust to, since we liked being active on the weekends, but the kids really needed non structured downtime to recharge. Of course, you can play it by ear once the year gets going and you see how your son handles the schedule.

 

[Aussie_coach]

I wouldn't worry, by 6th grade many gymnasts are doing 20 hours or more and they are coping quite well. Busy kids often do better in school because they have to be more organised and sports like gymnastics improve their concentration, memory and learning ability which reduces the number of hours they need to spend revising the material.

They key is organization, work out how to best utilise the times her isn't required to be at practice. His off days, weekends, the mornings before school, the wait time before going to practise, the car trips and so on.

Make sure he eats well, has plenty of water and makes sleep a priority and he will be fine.

 

[peginer]

My DS is 10. Last season he trained 14 hours over 4 days and this season he's moved up to 17 hours over 5 days. My DD started training 20 hours over 5 days in grade 4 and upped to 22 hours over 5 days on grade 6. They have both managed really well--children with this type of schedule learn how to time manage and prioritize. Your son will do great!

 

[cbifoja]

I have a DD very close to your son's age. She turned 10 in late spring/early summer but she's only in 5th grade. She just went back to school and is also practicing 20 hours a week.

It is a HUGE adjustment to leave summer hours and go back to fall hours PLUS start school. The kids have to adapt to new teachers, new school work, new work load, and usually new gym hours.

Then when you add the criticism of non-gym people when they see the crazy way we live our lives, yes, it can be overwhelming.

I believe, and you should too, that you all will make it work. I'm sure you've already been talking to teachers about homework load and flexibility. My kid isn't great about time management and hates school so it is nice that her teacher is aware of that and let's her have some flexibility on due date for her homework.

You all may decide you have to drop some activities if you want gym to work and it's a priority. DD had to give up her second sport and can't do a lot of activities she wants to do. It's just another one of those things they have to sacrifice for the gym gods.

 

[Ali'sMom]

I'm right there with you...
Starting middle school, first school year with practice 4X/week on weeknights.
I've said that if she makes it through the year with decent grades, still in gymnastics, and we haven't killed each other: BONUS!

 

[sevenatenine2]

We had a similar schedule 2 years ago - 3 hour gym practices three times a week, and one 3 hour dance practice once a week, all on school nights. My daughter was 6. She did not adjust at all. She became progressively more stressed out and badly behaved, and her school work suffered. We dropped dance completely and switched her to a more low key team program that practices 2 nights a week. Totally different kid. Happy, behaving, learning, never complaining about going to practice - and what she does do in her reduced hours is better quality.

Then again, she was six. Our gym does a lot of hours really young in developmental - a handful of five year olds are going up to 20 hours a week now. They are the "pre-tops" group.

Just saying, probably most kids do adjust, but some won't. Maybe mine would have if she had been older, but knowing her personality, I doubt she will ever want to do a zillion hours a week like some kids do.

We had the same experience as Amusibus.

 

[SurpriseGymMom]

I have one DD going into 7th grade who dances 15hrs+/wk and my gymmie who is going into 5th grade and practices 14hrs/wk.
You will get into a groove. The athlete will learn to manage their time effectively.
Both my girls keep up fine with school work, it's the down time that suffers on "full" days. In middle school, they can get hit with large amounts of homework with no notice (unlike elementary school, here they have a set amount of homework per week and we have always been able to fit that in on the one day gymmie has off during the week). Older DD dreaded getting big homework on Mondays because she was at the studio until 9, 30min drive home and she knew she would have to be up until 11-11:30 doing homework...
She did get loads of work done while still in school, at lunch or whatever, and that saved her many times.
We had to leave for gym/dance right after school so no time to get anything done until after.
The rule in our house is that all chores and homework has to be done before downtime, which meant lots of days with school-dance-dinner-homework-bed, no computer or tv time at all.

 

[SPX]

My son is younger, only 6, but looking at school plus gym 3 days/week, 6 or 7 hours, plus engineering/science activities one night a week and family outings on the weekends. I let him tell me what he wants his level of commitment to be and we have the conversation regularly. I also make sure he is aware that the rest of the family has interests that deserve consideration too. So far I've found that making him part of the conversation makes things much smoother and everyone is happier.

When I was in school, I did best when I cut the candle into 6 pieces and lit both ends of each piece. The homework got done, everything else did too and I didn't waste an instant and I was happy. My folks worried and cut back on the activities. I had time so I didn't manage it anymore and things just didn't get done. I was also very restless and unsatisfied which turned into unhappy. This will not be true of every kid, but some do better with more to do and less down time. For me, school was not a challenge so my classroom time was my down time. I didn't need any more; I needed something to do.

My son seems to be somewhere in the middle. He needs down time but he starts to get restless when there is not enough to do. The month off gymnastics while we shift gyms is starting to get to him.

 

[Amusibus]

Funny people talk about downtime as "nothing to do". My daughter has a full agenda for her "downtime", much of it involving full-on pretend play with her brother and sister. She is never bored - she just turns into a dog or princess or whatever, and off she goes for hours.

 

[gymbeam]

so true! mine comes home from school- and plays school!

 

[rosettasmom]

I think this time of year is a roller coaster for a lot of us once you get going and into a week or 2, things often seen to fall into place and a routine works itself out. Now I'm of to go unearth my crock pot so I can use it 4 nights a week when kids have activities