Stick w/current gym or switch???

[hannahsmom]

I have a 6 year old that has been doing gymnastics for about 2 years. She is a level 3 (although our gym doesn't use actual numbers until level 4) and we have been told she will be competing next year. She has been having trouble with one of her coaches, to the point that I'm thinking it might be time to switch gyms, but our current gym has a very good reputation. Both of her coaches are very hard on her, partly because last year (when she was 4 and 5) she had some focusing issues and partly because they say she has a lot of talent and they don't want to lose focus of that. She has worked very hard this year, is much more focused, still 6, but more focused. One of her coaches is great and stays on her, doesn't let her get away with anything, but also praises her when she does something good. The other coach does absolutely no praising of her. She had a hard time with her BHS and this coach, according to my daughter, told her several times how "bad" she was doing and actually made her sit out for 5 minutes just because her legs weren't together. Now, please understand that I doubt the coach actually used those words and certainly didn't mean them in that context, but to a 6 year old, that's how she hears it. I've talked to my DD and tried to explain things about coaches so she'll understand. I've worked with her at home on her BHS and she's doing a lot better. However, now my daughter hates going to the gym on Thursdays when that coach is there. I talked to the coach and explained it, thinking maybe she would have a small talk with DD, but she didn't. She just went right out and did the same thing. Now, my daughter is "not feeling well" right when it's time to work with this coach. I've looked at another gym but they don't have the reputation that our gym does. So, I can't decide if, at 6 years old, is it more important that she's just having fun, but maybe won't reach her potential or is it better to stay in this gym and hopes she doesn't decide she hates it and quits. This coach is the girls team coach, so she will be with her for many years.

 

[Swiftli]

My DD was 6 when she started lvl 4 and she is a drama queen, so I always have to take what she says with a grain of salt. She enjoyed the fun stuff but when it came to conditioning and things that were hard...it was always that the "coaches were mean".


But in the end you have to be where your child is happy. Does your daughter really care what the gym's reputation is OR is she doing gymnastics because it is was she loves and it is fun?

 

[hannahsmom]

Believe it or not, she loves the conditioning. She even does it at home on her off days. She wishes her class was longer so they could do more "skills" but she really does love the conditioning. The other coach is just as hard on her, but also gives her some praise along the way. I watched the incident with the BHS and having to sit out, but of course, I don't know exactly what was said. I just don't understand what having her sit out because her legs aren't together really accomplishes. I just simply put a small stuffed animal between her knees to give her both the visual and feel of keeping her legs together and in one weekend, the problem was solved. But, instead, this coach made her sit out. I know I'm not a coach, but I don't understand it and I'm having a hard time understanding, I can certainly understand where a 6 year old would get frustrated.

 

[NOG]

That's a toughie. Is this coach that she's having issues with also the HC or is there another coach that is HC or possibly a program director? If a different coach is HC, try going to them and explaining what the issues are between your dd and this coach. Try to keep it to how your dd is feeling and not be accusatory toward the coach, they'll be more receptive if they don't think that you're accusing them of bad coaching, but that you just want to fix a problem for your dd and her emotional state. I'd hate to see the situation how your dd responds to this coach and how this coach responds to your dd become a breaking point for your dd and her love of gymnastics. Sounds like the other coach has a great way of dealing with the younger gymnasts (demanding the best out of them, but with praise for things well done, kudos to that coach). Maybe the coach she's having issues with is a phenemonal coach...just doesn't know how to relate to young ones. Also, where is this coach from? I know that some coaches who have grown up, trained and competed in say Russia's, Japan's or China's gymnastics/Olympic system have a less compassion for what they percieve as "goofing off when they should be working" and what we call "being 6". They are only teaching how they were taught and it can be very rough for a little one to understand.

Good luck, hope maybe some that will help you out in your situtation. I know that I was a little long-winded, lol.

 

[Megley]

I think at 6 years old, the important thing is that she wants to go to gym and is having a good time. A good gym reputation won't help her develop her potential if she doesn't actually want to go to the gym. That said, I think you have to decide how bad the situation is right now. Is she really resistant about going or is this something you think she can work through until she gets a bit older and develops a tougher skin? If the latter, maybe sticking it out is the way to go. If she digs her heels in and just won't go to gym, then I'd consider switching or at the very least talking to someone at the gym about the situation. I doubt switching at age 6 will really minimize her potential long term. She can always switch back when she's older and better able to deal with these coach issues.

As an aside, I'm starting to realize that there really is no ideal gym with 100% ideal coaches. If it exists, then you'd have to move to find it no doubt. There are always going to be coach issues, program issues or issues with other kids. To some extent you have to just find a situation that enables your dd to progress while minimizing the distractions and keeping her happy and wanting to go back.

Best of luck,

Meg

 

[NOG]

As an aside, I'm starting to realize that there really is no ideal gym with 100% ideal coaches. If it exists, then you'd have to move to find it no doubt. There are always going to be coach issues, program issues or issues with other kids. To some extent you have to just find a situation that enables your dd to progress while minimizing the distractions and keeping her happy and wanting to go back.

Best of luck,

Meg

Very well Said Megley!

 

[hannahsmom]

Thanks everyone. All along, I've definitely leaned toward staying where she's at, but I just wanted to get a feeling from others that have been there, done that. I know the coaches being hard on her is good for her and she really doesn't mind it, except that with this coach, she gets nothing other than that. I just wish this coach would understand that dd is still 6 and needs a little encouragement...even if it's 95% critique/criticism and 5% encouragement. But, we'll probably stay where we're at unless this gets worse. I'm not going to continue to pay for gymnastics and have her "not feel good" before practice or as soon as its time for her to work with that coach on a skill. Thanks again!

 

[Deleted member D3987]

wow! very well stated. and the operative keynote here is she is only 6.

 

[NotAMom]

at 6 years old, is it more important that she's just having fun, but maybe won't reach her potential or is it better to stay in this gym and hopes she doesn't decide she hates it and quits. This coach is the girls team coach, so she will be with her for many years.

What do you think? You just said it. There are some here that would disagree with me but at 6 it's not all that uncommon to not focus. There is plenty of time for her talent to be realized.