Switch gyms or stay??

[shelovestoflip]

Without a doubt, I would pull my daughter and go to the new gym. Your daughter is 8. As parents, it is our responsibility to keep them safe and on a road to be happy. Yes, there will be bumps in the road, but her well being emotionally is paramount. You are not being disloyal. You are being a responsible parent by pulling her out of what sounds like a bad situation and placing her in a gym that sounds like it 'gets kids'!

There are times coaches, like parents, might be frustrated with a situation...we just want to tell the kids to 'do it'! But those times are few and far between and considering you are paying the gym, you are their client, you need to be happy with the situation. You are teaching your daughter that it is smart to leave a place where people are not caring and considerate!

Gymnasts are gymnasts most everywhere....she will get to her new gym...start flipping around with a new group...and be at home by the end of practice!!

Let us know how it works out!

 

[flip4fun]

Wow...that sounds a bit like what we just went through. I have been on this site quite a bit and felt like I could have posted what you did...we ended up leaving our dd gym...it was hard and we haven't started anywhere else, YET. We are in the process of looking. My dd is very laid back but has a lot of potential, she just needs to find a coaching style that meshes with her personality. Wish you the best and by what I read from the others on this site...you did the right thing. Good luck!!

 

[gymmommy72]

Update: We did quit our old gym and have started at a new gym. So far our dd loves it and really hasn't mentioned her old gym. We were able to get on their team and she's excited to be competing. Thanks for everyones input. Here's to a great experience for our dd.

 

[MaryA]

That's wonderful! What a relief!

 

[mariposa]

Just wanted to say that I am very proud of you for taking your daughter out of that situation. I think you have given her a very good example/life lesson that NO ONE should treat her that way. I do not understand how parents can keep taking their kids back to an abusive coaching situation. We pay these people to TEACH our children, not bully them.

I am glad her new gym is working out, too! That is great news, hope she has a fun season. Though I truly believe that even losing gym (if there was in instance where there were no other choices of gyms) is better than losing one's self esteem. I am always amazed that parents put up with it, often large groups of it, which just keeps sending the message that it is OK to treat children by yelling, screaming, belittling, bullying, etc. If everyone stood up to the coach, they would have to stop or lose them all. And it seems that only in competitive sports do we see this happening, no one would tolerate a teacher doing this (coaches are teachers), kids in school aren't allowed to bully. I just don't get it. After seeing it happen to a close friend of my daughters, I just have no tolerance for it. It sickens me.

 

[bookworm]

In my opinion, by keeping her there you are teaching her that it is OK for coaches to treat her like that. That will carry on to other things in life if it is something she must always deal with, boyfriends, husbands, etc. Not good.

It is not even close to quitting something. She is leaving to a safer, hopefully more positive coaching environment.

She is 8. This decision should not be made by her. You are the parent, make the decision and pull her from this gym. Humiliation by a coach is abuse, plain and simple. Find her another gym. Make sure she understands that it is nothing she did, that what her coach did was wrong and that you are taking her somewhere that she will be treated the way she should be. Hopefully you find a gym that will have positive coaching. It really is positive to have high expectations with positive coaching in the same environment.

Good luck!

Totally agree with Mariposa on this issue, especially the part in italics...YOU need to make this decision (and to me it's a no brainer) and remove her from this environment ASAP...

 

[bookworm]

Update: We did quit our old gym and have started at a new gym. So far our dd loves it and really hasn't mentioned her old gym. We were able to get on their team and she's excited to be competing. Thanks for everyones input. Here's to a great experience for our dd.

Wonderful news! and don't look back!

 

[UnoMas]

Thats great, gymmommy72! Let us know how her competitions go!

 

[cadybearsmommy]

You did the right thing!

Glad she likes the new gym!

 

[bogwoppit]

So glad that you made a good decision for your DD> She will now know that she desrves to be treated kindly and with respect and she also knows that you will protect her from abuse.

Let us know how the change over goes for her.

 

[gymmommy72]

Update: Our daughter had her first meet with her new team...it went very well...she took 4th place AA and was very excited! The biggest difference, she is working hard for herself, not out of fear. She is so happy not to be yelled at anymore. Thanks for all the input during the struggling time. We are very happy at the new gym...she is fitting in just fine and loving the coaches. It was amazing to see her smile after she stuck her cartwheel on beam!! Her vault improved from low 7's to high 8's....partially b/c she wants to do well with her new team and partially b/c the coaching is at her level and she isn't feeling pressured to do well out of fear. Can't say enough about her and the change in her attitude all around.

 

[gymdog]

Awesome! I'm happy to hear your update.