Anon Team Drama...

[Anonymous (b5c9)]

My team is very diverse. The age ranges from 9-14 (with 1 17-year-old), along with VERY different personalities/skills. In particular, two girls are always acting out (interrupting, having an attitude towards coaches/teammates, intentionally "accidentally " sticking their feet out while teammates are running for vault, messing around, etc.)Let's call them A and B for now. They are on the younger side of the team (10-ish). A has been on silver for 2 yrs and B is a first-year and looks up to A. We have a fairly new coach who is around 22ish and doesn't really know how to handle it. Our original coach moved to just coaching gold, but she was exceptional at disciplining the girls and kind of putting them in their place, lol. A girl (C) who is 14 keeps trying to discipline them by yelling at them, making snarky comments to other girls, and talking badly about them. I have talked to my coach a couple of times about C. I really want to make it clear that I'm not trying to excuse A and B's bad behaivior but I really do think it's not C's responsibility to reprimand them and make them feel bad about themselves.
What should I do?

 

[Anonymous (b5c9)]

Edit: Coach has not done anything, it has been a ongoing issue

 

[Anonymous (be32)]

As you described this A and B are creating an unsafe environment for everyone. Since the coach isn't doing their job C is trying to but poorly. If you do anything it should be talking to the coach about ensuring a safe environment for everyone.

 

[Anonymous (4aec)]

Is the rest of the team all friends? is it just the two younger girls and the 14 yo that don’t get along? Or is it everyone? Does it seem like people are having fun during most practices? I have a similar dynamic in my team, thankfully at least some of our coaches are able to discipline them, but I have noticed that they act out less when everyone is having fun and everyone is cheering on everyone. If they are having fun because of practice or from the team they may not feel the need to create their own less desirable fun. While there are things that the coach should be doing to make sure everyone is safe, on task, non disruptive, etc., those things are mostly out of your control, so I would say if you want to make a difference you should try to bring your team together. Make a group chat, go to meets together or early, talk to them outside practice if you can, lead by example and cheer on everyone even a and b. I would advise you not to directly try to stop a, b, or c. As you have said it is not c’s job to keep an and b in line, so it isn’t your job to for anyone as well. It doesn’t hurt to make friends though.

Your team won’t be together forever and those girls in a year or two will grow up or you will get a new coach. This likely won’t be a long term issue. So I would just do your best right now and not worry about it too much.

 

[Anonymous (d583)]

We've seen variations on team dynamics over the years, and they change as the girls get older/more serious about the sport. I would largely ignore the older girl but if another kid stuck their foot out and tripped my daughter I would 100% discuss it with the coach and owners. That is dangerous and beyond "drama".

 

[Anonymous (f973)]

It absolutely is not the older girl's place to discipline the younger ones but in absence of a coach doing it, what is the alternative...have the two younger kids run unchecked and bully the others by creating an unsafe environment? Often the one who is speaking out (in this case the older girl) becomes the target and it sounds like you are guilty of doing this by being more concerned about her behavior rather than the unsafe actions of your younger teammates. If you have tried to talk to the coach about the behavior of the younger girls and have been unsuccessful I would involve your parents.