WAG Told she gained weight

[coachmolly]

I wouldn't say to "relax" if you don't have a family history of anorexia. The same personality traits that lead to anorexia can also cause a number of other mental health concerns, or just come across as a "Type A" personality. So there could be no prior history of anorexia or an eating disorder in your family, but the biological traits that combined to environmental factors to produce anorexia can absolutely be there.
I have a mental health disorder, one that often comes in conjunction with anorexia, and is known to have both a genetic and environmental component. There was absolutely 0 family history. When symptoms started presenting in my childhood my parents were entirely thrown for a loop. As I look at family history, there are some signs that might indicate a genetic predisposition to things such as anxiety, but no one was (or has since been) diagnosed with the same disorder. So to say not to worry if no one in the family has dealt with anorexia is not accurate at all.
And like another poster mention, anorexia and bulimia are incredibly serious and the most well known of the disordered eating patterns, but there are other forms of disordered eating that can be just as debilitating and dangerous.
I was a very intense child, especially at the gym, because I was obsessed with gymnastics and being the best I could be. I was also on medication for the aforementioned disorder that caused me to gain weight. So yes, I was a larger gymnast, I was aware of that. I also put on very bulky muscle, making me look much more "bulky" than some of my very lean and defined teammates. I was very embarrassed by both. I have very clear memories of coaches commenting on my weight, one asking if I was looking at how fat I was in the mirror, another telling a teammate of mine that I couldn't expect any coach to do anything with me because I was too fat. Those comments have stuck with me to this day and I have been told I have a very impaired body image.
As a coach, I don't comment on weight. If it were to come down to a gymnast being a danger to herself, I might ask to talk to the parents about helping her get appropriate fuel for a very physically demanding sport, but that would be an extreme circumstance. I work to model good eating habits, let the girls it's not okay if they are calling themselves fat, reinforcing that they are all fit, athletic, and beautiful in their current state. I encourage them to fuel themselves appropriately for practices and before meets, but if they want to get a milk shake after a meet, I'll probably be right there with them, because I believe in all things in moderation and want to pass that along to the teens I coach. It's just such a slippery slope, and most coaches are not in-tune with what their gymnasts are going through internally, especially things like disordered eating and body image problems that they will go to great lengths to hide.

 

[MaryA]

I have very clear memories of coaches commenting on my weight, one asking if I was looking at how fat I was in the mirror, another telling a teammate of mine that I couldn't expect any coach to do anything with me because I was too fat.

This makes me want to cry. And rage.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

please believe me when i tell you what i had to do...and did. also, my wife just reminded me that i had put "Bon Appetit" at the end of this letter. for some reason, and at the time, she though this was the best part and thought that that was the only thing i needed to put in the letter.

there is someone on here that has met me. and another who has known me for 40 years and knows this story to be true. maybe they'll pipe in.

what this coach did was not acceptable and is antithetical to the athlete wellness program administered by USA Gymnastics. they would be none too pleased to read this. unless they already have...

 

[Deleted member D3987]

This makes me want to cry. And rage.

that just sums up how insidious this problem can be. CoachMolly, i empathize with you.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

But you are coming dangerously close to giving weight loss advice, which is a big no-no here on CB.

=

Eating healthy is eating healthy.... And your reply is just plain silly.

 

[dani4]

Dunno has taken advocating for your children to a new level.. wow, I'm speechless. I hope I have the courage (and the creativity!) to stand up for them like that if it becomes necessary.

Now I feel like the time I've spent procrastinating while reading this thread has become worthwhile.

 

[HoldThePhone]

I would be livid if a coach pointed out weight gain in a negative light in front of my daughter. Doesn't matter if it is directed toward her, themselves, or another gymnast, it's not something that should even be on her radar. If a coach became concerned about her weight, I'd be fine with them talking to ME about it, but not her. I'm ok with them talking about healthy eating habits, and things centered around what to eat to help fuel her vs. junk food even, just don't bring weight into it. My daughter is only 5 right now, but weight was a big deal for me growing up, with my stepdad calling me fat, my grandma forcing me to point out my flaws, etc. That is not healthy. I don't want anything of the sort being introduced into my daughters thoughts. Kids are hard enough on themselves, they don't need someone else to tell them they're lacking.

At my daughter's 5 year check up, I was shocked to see that BMI was listed on her form. Really, this is already becoming a factor, at 5? What's more disheartening is how illogical it is anyhow. The sheet said she is borderline overweight. My tiny 5 year old who has been under the 10% mark her entire life is near overweight?! All because she's a gymnast, and has a LOT of muscle for an average 5 year old. It doesn't take that into account of course. BMI needs to be done away with entirely, and we should be given a clearer picture of overall health if they're going to pointing these things out. All that said, the Dr. did not have a concern with my daughter's weight, didn't even mention the BMI, but if it's not a concern, why write it down in the first place?

 

[gymnastflip]

In my opinion it is something that should be discussed regularly. Obviously it should be reinforced only by proper nutrition, not diets, but weight is a very important factor in gymnastics. A child is growing making it already very difficult to adapt to rapid changes, and putting on weight should be allowed to be pointed out by the coach as it is felt noticeably by a gymnast. Obviously as a gymnast grows older they will weigh more, but if it is an obvious change then there must be a reason. They should not say a gymnast is fat, but they should talk to them about their nutrition and solve the problem. A gymnast will find it hard to realise that they can't eat the same as their friends at school, because the physical demands on them are much more significant.


Sent from my iPhone using ChalkBucket

 

[bookworm]

In my opinion it is something that should be discussed regularly[/B]. Obviously it should be reinforced only by proper nutrition, not diets, but weight is a very important factor in gymnastics. A child is growing making it already very difficult to adapt to rapid changes, and putting on weight should be allowed to be pointed out by the coach as it is felt noticeably by a gymnast. Obviously as a gymnast grows older they will weigh more, but if it is an obvious change then there must be a reason. They should not say a gymnast is fat, but they should talk to them about their nutrition and solve the problem. A gymnast will find it hard to realise that they can't eat the same as their friends at school, because the physical demands on them are much more significant.

uh, no....

 

[twisting007bigflip]

In my opinion it is something that should be discussed regularly. Obviously it should be reinforced only by proper nutrition, not diets, but weight is a very important factor in gymnastics. A child is growing making it already very difficult to adapt to rapid changes, and putting on weight should be allowed to be pointed out by the coach as it is felt noticeably by a gymnast. Obviously as a gymnast grows older they will weigh more, but if it is an obvious change then there must be a reason. They should not say a gymnast is fat, but they should talk to them about their nutrition and solve the problem. A gymnast will find it hard to realise that they can't eat the same as their friends at school, because the physical demands on them are much more significant.


Sent from my iPhone using ChalkBucket

No. This is not for coaches to discuss with these kids. I honestly cannot think of a time when it would ever be appropriate for coaches to discuss this ever.

Coaches, leave the nutrition advice and the "let's eat healthy" conversations up to the child's parents and doctors. It's not our job! If you want children to know to eat healthy, let them see YOU eating healthy. Bring in some water instead of a diet coke when you're coaching. Let the kids see you eating an apple or some yogurt or something. Lead by example, but don't be telling these kids what to eat, what not to eat, blah blah. Unless you are the child's parent, doctor, or dietitian, leave it alone. It doesn't need to be discussed ever. If your team kids have a break for lunch or snack, let the parents know what foods are allowed in the gym.

And if a child is seriously "that overweight" that their safety in the gym in a real concern, I still don't see why it's acceptable to mention it. Give the kid something to do to stay active while in class...give them something to do that isn't a safety issue. You're a coach. Coach the kid! Build the child up, physically and emotionally. Give them confidence, don't make them think that there is something wrong with them.

 

[gymnastflip]

Well by avoiding the issue completely it creates a sense of awkwardness and lack of discussion can also lead to eating disorders if they don't feel that they can talk to someone about what to eat. Being overweight and underweight can have big consequences, so why should the discussion of the issue be banned by the head coach.


Sent from my iPhone using ChalkBucket

 

[gymnastflip]

Also it depends on the age of the kid, but once they reach the age when they buy their own lunches and food then it is up to them and not the parents responsibility anymore.


Sent from my iPhone using ChalkBucket

 

[twisting007bigflip]

Well by avoiding the issue completely it creates a sense of awkwardness and lack of discussion can also lead to eating disorders if they don't feel that they can talk to someone about what to eat. Being overweight and underweight can have big consequences, so why should the discussion of the issue be banned by the head coach.


Sent from my iPhone using ChalkBucket

Because the head coach isn't the child's parent or doctor or dietitian. Because the head coach is just that - the head coach. To coach gymnastics. To teach gymnastics. To run the program. The child most certainly will not discuss their feelings of negativity regarding their body with someone who has shown their "concern" for said child being overweight. No one signs their child up for gymnastics class to get nutrition advice. That's why. It's not the coaches place. Period.

 

[twisting007bigflip]

And while some may be "okay" with coaches talking to their kids about what to eat and what not to eat, do you really want someone unqualified giving this kind of "education" to your child? I know around here, lots of coaches at tumbling gyms, cheer gyms and gymnastics gyms are high school and college kids....

 

[gymnastflip]

Well that's why I said it should be encouraged to discuss. And if there is a proper trust relationships between the gymnast and coach then yes they should feel able to discuss this. A gymnast will often spend more time with their coach than their parents, so the coach does have an important role in their health.

Sent from my iPhone using ChalkBucket

 

[Empowered]

I am just a firm believer the coach and athlete should not discuss weight at all. No matter the age, no matter the situation. It is a NO-NO!

Coach speaking with the parent, possibly, in private if it is a serious health issue. Beyond that, this is a topic for the child's doctor and parents.

 

[mommyof1]

BMI = BS

For adults, and even more so for children.

It does not take body composition into account. Its widespread usage is due to the fact that it is simple to calculate without any special equipment.

 

[mommyof1]

Well that's why I said it should be encouraged to discuss. And if there is a proper trust relationships between the gymnast and coach then yes they should feel able to discuss this. A gymnast will often spend more time with their coach than their parents, so the coach does have an important role in their health.

That doesn't make the coach the parent. Coaches want us parents to let them do the coaching--in return, they need to let us do the parenting.

 

[gymnastflip]

Ok parents shouldn't be replaced by coaches, but in the end it is the child decision what they eat. I think it is beneficial if as many people as possible influence them to eat healthy, not just the parents. You trust a coach to spend so much time with your child that you should be able to trust them to care for your child. If the concern is that the coach does not care about the child then it changes the whole scenario.

 

[Jen H.]

Ok parents shouldn't be replaced by coaches, but in the end it is the child decision what they eat. I think it is beneficial if as many people as possible influence them to eat healthy, not just the parents. You trust a coach to spend so much time with your child that you should be able to trust them to care for your child. If the concern is that the coach does not care about the child then it changes the whole scenario.

See that is just the thing, I trust our coaches to be coaches and coach my child in gymnastics. I don't expect them to be nutritionists or dietitians- that would be unreasonable! I agree that as many positive role models in my child's life (in regards to a healthy diet) is a good thing, and if a coach is that, in addition to being a gymnastics coach, then it is a bonus, but definitely not an expectation.