Parents Watching practice- a no no?

[twin2gymmie]

I usually just drop my DD off at gym, run errands, get coffee, etc. Then return to gym for last hour. Which only really consists of conditioning. I can always tell how difficult practice has been by her face during conditioning. It helps me to mentally prepare for the ride home.

 

[Flyaway]

When my DD did a stint with volleyball I decided that all of my kids should swap to it. There was a parent viewing area; but it was glassed off so that you couldn't call down to your kid AND you didn't have to smell all the sweaty kids. Even better, there was a room with comfy couches, TVs, wifi, AND lap tops set up for siblings to do their homework on! it was awesome!!

Ah wifi! If only! Honestly the lack of wifi or even good 3G/4G in our gym is the main motivator in me not sticking around! I think the gym doesn't have it on purpose!

 

[flippingtogether]

In general, the more a parent watches, the more likely the parent will become involved - "so what happened with ___ today? Or why were you just standing around on the beam? You could have gotten 3 more turns in. " Also, some parents watch the coaches and "think" - that's not too hard. I can work with her at home on that. BTDT and dd rolled her eyes at me every time I did it in the lower levels. It is just better when you don't watch for hours on end.

^^^This.

When I stopped watching, the sport became my daughter's. I am a type A analyzer type, so watching practice would drive me crazy. I would compare my DD and over-think everything. Totally ridiculous. But that is my personality.

Someone wiser than me on CB once said if you don't watch practice, the first meet is like Christmas - it's like opening a package when you aren't quite sure what's inside and there is a certain magic to it.

 

[gymgal]

Someone wiser than me on CB once said if you don't watch practice, the first meet is like Christmas - it's like opening a package when you aren't quite sure what's inside and there is a certain magic to it.

Oh man - I could not do that! While I can't stand to watch practice, I still want to know what she is working on and I love watching her skill videos.
Just don't want to watch her learn the skills. And I am too type A not to know exactly what to expect so I know when to cover my eyes... lol

 

[duyetanh]

^^^

Someone wiser than me on CB once said if you don't watch practice, the first meet is like Christmas - it's like opening a package when you aren't quite sure what's inside and there is a certain magic to it.

I totally get that, but luckily for me, my kid actually wants me to know every aspect of her routine on every event.....I say luckily both honestly and sarcastically....honestly because I liken it to potentially watching a horror movie watching her routines if I don't know when to hold my breath and pray....sarcastically because I NEVER can remember the names of every d*mn skill, and get chastised on a regular basis in the car on the way home!

 

[Committed]

DD doesn't love me to watch either, but I get a play-by-play outlining which mats were used (8" vs 6 panel), how many times she fell on her face, etc.
Thrilling stuff!

I do like to catch an event here and there. Not during season though. Bleh!

 

[profmom]

Watching occasionally can be nice, because it helps you to understand why they have bruises on those body parts in particular.

I have avoided asking about the one on DS's chin, though. I think I don't want to know.

 

[duyetanh]

There is a kid whose mom, no matter when i run in in terms of time, is always there. The kid has started having stomachaches, headaches, you name it....ugh....the writing is on the wall with that one, and it is too bad...she is a ridiculously good level 9 too.

 

[e'smum]

To reply to the original question, I will keep it short. Your children on average will last longer and go further in gym if you give them space . Without going into details , the potential side effects of constant watching are. Increased fear issues , lose of interest , slower progression and a rocky road between parent and child when they turn into a teenager and want them out. I have absolutely seen all of this multiple times over my duration in gymnastics. Another side effect is the parents will start nitpicking everything and become unhappy and either leave or drive the child insane or both. So for me, I would rather cut ties early on than wait until I watch history repeat it's self .

there is a case of this going on in the gym right now. waiting for the kid to flat out refuse to go anymore. the mom has taken challenge of CGM and raised it a level. as far as i'm concerned, her CGM+ behavior is borderline abusive and she should be kicked out of the gym but for some reason, the coaches seem scared of her and she will watch an entire practice when others get kicked out after 30 minutes as per gym rules.

i'm amazed that all these gyms allow parents to watch like this. ours is so strict and their points about why are valid.

 

[z2akids]

While I rarely watch, I would be unhappy if the gym would not allow parents to watch. My child is ultimately my responsibility and I feel that an open door policy is a small added protection for her. While I trust her coaches, I will not blindly put my trust in them and I like having thr option to pop in unexpectedly if I felt it necessary.

I will watch an event once a month or so if she asks me to - usually because she has a new skill. But, I cannot imagine watching 12 or 16 hours a week. Who has time or patience for that? I'd rather watch golf on TV. lol

 

[BachFlyer]

I used to watch a lot more in the old days at our old gym, but now I just drive through the parking lot and push her out, and slow to a crawl at pickup so she can jump back in. 4 hour practices are BORING. So boring that I'm do wonder seriously how the gymnasts do it, to be honest. I know the skills are fun, but drills and conditioning day in,day out would just me make me want to claw my eyes out (assuming my body didn't just explode first haha). Usually when I ask how practice was, the answer is always "same, just normal practice". Sounds as boring as it looks. DD said the other day that she's excited to be done with the season because it's finally summer and it will be fun again, so it sounds like she feels the same sometimes.

If she gets anything new this summer, she won't mind if I pop my head in to watch although she'd never ask me to. But the new stuff is much more rare at this point. When I happen to come in to pay and stand there for a minute or two, she seems to like it when get a glimpse of something she's been working on for a while or if something went really well that day. She'll ask, "did you see my blah-blah-blah?" and I've missed it because I was playing a game on my phone. But I always tell her I'll watch when she works on my "dream skill"... it's a joke because her coach had a dream beam skill she wanted to teach someone and dd has it in her routine now, so I tell her it's only fair that I get a dream skill now (which for the record is an Onodi, I just love it!). She tells me to keep dreaming, lol.

 

[txgymfan]

Ohh, good choice. I love the Onodi. She should learn that! Lol!

 

[BachFlyer]

I also wanted to say that even though I do not watch much anymore, I would 100% not be ok with a gym that banned me from watching completely. To me that is simply unacceptable in a sport where the power balance definitely favors those in authority. It says that you either don't trust your parents at all and have your own trust/boundary issues, or that you flat out have something to hide. This may not be the case everywhere, but it's a giant neon red flag to me. Trust is earned. That's my child. Balance or we are out of here. End of story. There is a big difference between being being curious and cautious and being overly involved to the point of pressure and distraction(I know, I know, I may have mentioned my opinion on this in 5000 other posts, lol). Anyway, if you're not the least bit naturally curious about something you kid loves enough to do for 10-30 hours a week, that actually seems a little sad to me! Nothing is wrong with watching here and there as long as you are not obsessing and making your child uncomfortable with your intensity.

 

[OzZee]

This was me...I drove 80 miles one way, in traffic, took 2 hours.....there was ZERO chance I was going home. I did find the local library was a nice haunt for the hours they were in the gym and I did do some shopping but my actual time watching practices was minimal.

Library is good and comfy.
IKEA if you are lucky enough to have one near the gym - the cafe at ours has comfy sofas, free wifi, power plugs, and if you want food and drink - but you can sit there for hours without buying anything (as the numerous students doing that can contest)
No viewing at all here so you need to find places comfier than the car to spend 4 hours and even if the shops are open it's too expensive and boring after day 1.

 

[amiandjim]

Library is good and comfy.
IKEA if you are lucky enough to have one near the gym - the cafe at ours has comfy sofas, free wifi, power plugs, and if you want food and drink - but you can sit there for hours without buying anything (as the numerous students doing that can contest)
No viewing at all here so you need to find places comfier than the car to spend 4 hours and even if the shops are open it's too expensive and boring after day 1.

Funny there is an IKEA right across the street from our gym and it has never occurred to me to go! I will give it a shot!

 

[NY Dad]

Funny there is an IKEA right across the street from our gym and it has never occurred to me to go! I will give it a shot!

You never know what you're going to learn on CB.

 

[MILgymFAM]

Library is good and comfy.
IKEA if you are lucky enough to have one near the gym - the cafe at ours has comfy sofas, free wifi, power plugs, and if you want food and drink - but you can sit there for hours without buying anything (as the numerous students doing that can contest)
No viewing at all here so you need to find places comfier than the car to spend 4 hours and even if the shops are open it's too expensive and boring after day 1.

Yeah, I was in the middle of farm (or drug- depends on who you asked) country, hence the wait in the car. I used to love when my ODDs gym was near an IKEA. Easiest way to entertain my YDD for a few hours on the very cheap.

 

[GymDad9.9]

Our IKEA does not have a cozy cafe'

 

[aspiringymnastmom]

My ODD asks me to watch, but I think she gets too distracted if I am there. I usually pick her up after work, so I will stay later at work to get stuff done, so I don't get to watch too frequently. My YDD I never watch, because she is always trying to talk to me (through arm gestures) if I am there. I don't think she can properly function at all if I watch!

 

[Sk8ermaiden]

DD's hours jump this summer and I am really scrambling to figure out how to pass the time. I've always watched (everyone at both our gyms has always watched.) But 9 hours a week is too much to sit there, especially with a littler one. I really want to join the YMCA, but the joining fee is so high, I don't know that I can justify it, especially with the increase in fees for the next level. There is lots of stuff, but it's all a drive, and the goal is to minimize the amount of time my preschooler is in the car, since it's already a lot.