Parents Watching practice- a no no?

[gasrgoose]

A gym that doesn't allow watching is a little too controlling for me. But a parent that watches every practice is likely too controlling also. There's a balance to be found and it will be different for each gym & family.

 

[rosiekat]

I think the unspoken thing at our gym (for the boys, at least) is that once your kid moves up to L6 and the 4-hour practices, it's OK to stay once in a while but if you're there all the time without a good reason, you're weird. (There is one family I know who has about a 1-hour drive, for example, so that mom usually stays, and everyone understands that.) L4 and L5 have 2-hour practices, so for many of the folks, going home and coming back in our traffic would be a waste of time. However, none of us stay all practice, every practice - for example, I managed to schedule DD's weekly music lesson in during one of DS's practices, so we miss at least about 1/2 of it once a week. The funny thing is that DS is the kid who actually wants me there, even though he never acknowledges my existence. I had to explain to him that the big boys don't have their mommies there all the time, and then he got it. He'd better get it, as he's about to move up to 4-hour practices, and I'm definitely not staying for all that except possibly once in a while!

I actually don't see much interference from team parents at our gym, either for girls or boys. And most of them don't seem too invested in it except perhaps when getting skills down right before one of the big meets. Our star men's team guy has parents there somewhat frequently, but they are just a gymnastics family. I don't worry that they're driving the kid's determination - I'm as sure as I can be that they are just supporting the ambition he already has. He's very mature that way. There is one girl's parent who does offer the occasional helpful hint...but even that person doesn't seem to be TOO obnoxious about it. It's the rec kids that are always looking up for mom's approval or a wave. Team kids are just in the groove.

 

[Lilou]

Thanks for all of your perspectives... it sounds like there are a lot of people who watch, watch some, don't want, etc... lots of variations. I am there for about 2 hours of their 9 hours a week. Mostly because I can't go home (too far), I can get in some work, and be there if my youngest (6) needs help with anything. But again, it also sounds like it's attitude more than time spent watching too. No CGM attitudes.

 

[momstrong]

We just received our team placement (invitation to level 3) email - yay! The email was long and very positive, but it did state that they prefer we only watch practice once a month. I actually appreciate that I can have this as a reason that I can't watch more often. I struggle with working mom guilt and wanting to try and fit my own work outs in during her gym time. Practices are moving from (2)- 3 hours each to (3 days)- 3.5 hours each so too much to watch anyway and this summer is all during the work day.

They did say that we are welcome to email and/or set up meetings about our gymnast's progress at any time.

 

[GymDad9.9]

We just received our team placement (invitation to level 3) email - yay! The email was long and very positive, but it did state that they prefer we only watch practice once a month. I actually appreciate that I can have this as a reason that I can't watch more often. I struggle with working mom guilt and wanting to try and fit my own work outs in during her gym time. Practices are moving from (2)- 3 hours each to (3 days)- 3.5 hours each so too much to watch anyway and this summer is all during the work day.

They did say that we are welcome to email and/or set up meetings about our gymnast's progress at any time.

Congratulations!

I wish I had that kind of communication. It's all good though. I still get to watch as much practice as my wallet and workload allows.

 

[momstrong]

Thank you, @GymDad9.9! We have been on pins and needles. Since dd just turned 10 this was kinda her only shot (I figured).

I'm nervous and overwhelmed! Our gym competes in September so will really only be 8 weeks of prep!

 

[GymDad9.9]

Thank you, @GymDad9.9! We have been on pins and needles. Since dd just turned 10 this was kinda her only shot (I figured).

I'm nervous and overwhelmed! Our gym competes in September so will really only be 8 weeks of prep!

It's exciting times for you and your daughter. Enjoy.

I thought I was having things under control these days; however, watching my daughter doing giants on the strap bar today got my nerves going.

 

[duyetanh]

It's exciting times for you and your daughter. Enjoy.

I thought I was having things under control these days; however, watching my daughter doing giants on the strap bar today got my nerves going.

Bahaha! Just wait...it gets worse. Wait until she does them WITHOUT the strap bar.
I about puked. And fainted. All at once.

 

[dancingimmie]

It's exciting times for you and your daughter. Enjoy.

I thought I was having things under control these days; however, watching my daughter doing giants on the strap bar today got my nerves going.

Oh I feel your pain! I'm currently in giant hell. She loves it, I'm not so sure. I'm glad I can't watch practice very often. I'm hoping the next time I'm able to watch bars her giants are looking good?

 

[SurpriseGymMom]

Our gym allows parent watching, however (with the exception of the ones driving 1hr+), it is seen as pretty weird and overinvolved to stay for all or most of the 3-4hr practices once your kid hits team. It feels vaguely uncomfortable (from a coaches standpoint) and for some kids it becomes a safety hazard and we have actually had to ask certain parents to try to find a less conspicous place to sit (because their kid keeps looking over to mom instead of focusing on the task at hand). We have asked (politely) some parents to severely limit their watching as their kid doesn't do well with them there. If we had a more hidden parent viewing area (such as behind glass or even in another room with monitors!), it would be better, but we do not, there is seating all around the perimeter, some apparatus closer to it than others of course.
We do have some (even Optional level) parents that watch a LOT of practices, and I can tell you that it does get talked about by the coaching staff... and not in a good way. We have nothing to hide, there are always several coaches of both genders around plus obviously a multitude of kids age 7-17. We even have a couple of parents that completely disregard the rules and give their kids (as well as sometimes other kids!!) corrections from the viewing area... a sure way to get the coaches to see you as a CGP. Just don't do it!!

My favorite kind of parent is the one who drops and picks up but may come in and watch every now and then for a short while. Who is friendly and believes that the coaches have their gymnasts best interest at heart, and who will email me if they have any concerns and need to chat (rather than sit in the parent viewing area and speculate negatively). Who comes in and keeps me updated on if their kid has something going on (physically or mentally, like a hard day at school or recovering from a stomach bug, stuff like that). Who shows me that they are interested in their kids' progress but trusts us to do our job and coach their kid without interference.

 

[profmom]

I will confess to the following: occasionally the boys' coach has a guy hang back in the big gym to do one more routine run through or the like for him and will send the rest to the other gym to warm up pbars or pommels or something like that. If I see the guys in my son's workout group not doing anything but hooting and chattering and bouncing around aimlessly like a troop of chimpanzees for more a few minutes, I will give them the mom glare and say, "what are you guys supposed to be doing right now?"

 

[momstrong]

It's exciting times for you and your daughter. Enjoy.

I thought I was having things under control these days; however, watching my daughter doing giants on the strap bar today got my nerves going.

Thank you!

And no kidding! I'm glad we are a long ways from those kind of skills!

 

[Deleted member 14190]

I will clarify our rules which have been in place for about 7 years.
1. We have an open viewing area for Rec, so dozens of parents are always in the gym.
2. Team parents are asked to not view after the 1st 20 min until the last 20 min of workout.
3. You can come in and watch a whole workout about once a month, (it's an honor system).
4. We have a large team so on any given day at least one team parent is in the gym viewing.
5. Your kids are never alone with a coach.

So when you hear me on CB say parents don't watch workout, that is where i am coming from. As a parent I would also be concerned if no viewing area was available for at least rec.

 

[1canadiangymmom]

I will clarify our rules which have been in place for about 7 years.
1. We have an open viewing area for Rec, so dozens of parents are always in the gym.
2. Team parents are asked to not view after the 1st 20 min until the last 20 min of workout.
3. You can come in and watch a whole workout about once a month, (it's an honor system).
4. We have a large team so on any given day at least one team parent is in the gym viewing.
5. Your kids are never alone with a coach.

So when you hear me on CB say parents don't watch workout, that is where i am coming from. As a parent I would also be concerned if no viewing area was available for at least rec.

Nothing wrong with this system, I think the problem arises when parents are told point blank no viewing. If I want to pop in to the viewing area for 5 minutes at anytime I should be allowed. I don't and wouldn't want to sit through 4.5 hours of practice, but if my kid is over the moon excited because she is learning bails, and wants me to peek in and watch her have a go at it one or two times, that should not be an issue.

 

[GymDad9.9]

I will clarify our rules which have been in place for about 7 years.
1. We have an open viewing area for Rec, so dozens of parents are always in the gym.
2. Team parents are asked to not view after the 1st 20 min until the last 20 min of workout.
3. You can come in and watch a whole workout about once a month, (it's an honor system).
4. We have a large team so on any given day at least one team parent is in the gym viewing.
5. Your kids are never alone with a coach.

So when you hear me on CB say parents don't watch workout, that is where i am coming from. As a parent I would also be concerned if no viewing area was available for at least rec.

How do you handle a parent who does not abide by these rules?

 

[BachFlyer]

How do you handle a parent who does not abide by these rules?

Probably solitary confinement and rocket launchers. Just a guess.

 

[mommyof1]

I will clarify our rules which have been in place for about 7 years.
1. We have an open viewing area for Rec, so dozens of parents are always in the gym.
2. Team parents are asked to not view after the 1st 20 min until the last 20 min of workout.
3. You can come in and watch a whole workout about once a month, (it's an honor system).
4. We have a large team so on any given day at least one team parent is in the gym viewing.
5. Your kids are never alone with a coach.

So when you hear me on CB say parents don't watch workout, that is where i am coming from. As a parent I would also be concerned if no viewing area was available for at least rec.

From my perspective as a parent, this is a totally reasonable policy that emphasizes the importance of not distracting the kids or taking limited viewing space away from rec parents who may not be able to leave, while leaving the door open for parents to watch a reasonable amount. Because parents choose when to exercise their limited viewing privileges, it doesn't look as if you are trying to hide anything.

Incidentally, since we switched to a gym I trust I have only ever watched practice because I thought there was something going on with my kid (poor attitude, etc.) or because I thought her description of something that had happened in practice might not be 100% accurate, not because I thought the coaches might be doing anything wrong.

 

[GymDad9.9]

Probably solitary confinement and rocket launchers. Just a guess.

For who? The parent? Child? Both??

 

[Deleted member 14190]

How do you handle a parent who does not abide by these rules?

Happens , we meet with them and if that does not work then we tell them this is not the program for them. ( keep in mind we go over all of this in the new parent meeting, so they already know even though they usually pretend not to). Honestly by the time it gets to that they usually leave on their own. But yes it happens , almost always with the level 3 amd 4 parents .

 

[MuggleMom]

I am weird I like sitting and watching. I also bring a book and read and play on my phone so of the time I am there actual watch time is minimal. But when I am at her gym I just can't be doing the laundry...most unfortunate. Right now its not a distraction she waves when she sees me get there and will wave at me inbetween events. I just enjoy seeing her progress. This summer I wont be able to watch anymore cause they go during the day and I work