Parents What constitutes a braggy parent?

[Annikins]

I looked up the social group mentioned above, but how do you become a member? It says I have insufficient privileges...

 

[FlippinLilysMom]

I have definitely been guilty of being an "overly braggy parent" and I've tried to do better in thinking about what I post about my DD and how it will be taken. For me it is more about being able to shout from the rooftops of how extremely proud I am of her and her accomplishments to people that "get it". I do read all comments left on my posts and try and take any constructive criticism to heart. She is young and I hope to be a member of this great group for a long while so if I am coming across of overly braggy or obnoxious please call me out on it!

 

[Taxidriver]

There have been a lot of comments here that I agree with and for me celebrating your dd or ds achievements aren’t being braggy unless it’s at the expense of others, over exaggerating their achievements e.g. making it sound like they are headed for the olympics to those not in the know yet they know their child isn’t headed that way (yes I have a friend who does this on Facebook). Also when it’s in person and all they want to do is talk about how amazing their child is and have no interest in listening to anyone else, or the minute you say anything about your child they turn it straight back to their child!

 

[Peanut]

Braggy parents and fun post don’t go together.

For me it the parents who use “we”. We have States, we have practice.....

Um no, your daughter has States.

LOL I heard that the other day. We have TOPS testing coming in July. In my head...Okay great. I hope YOU do well

 

[acam1103]

Now, for braggy parent.... to me these would be the ones who just talk, and don't listen. Or who have on golden glasses in that their child is perfect and the judging was unfair or coaching not good enough for their child. I think being able to admit what was messed up in addition to what went well is important. And to be excited for other parents who are bragging about their child.

There are some parents I consider obnoxiously braggy but I couldn’t put my finger on why until I read this post. YES, it’s the “listen to everything I want to say about my kid but I have no interest in other kids” attitude. I haven’t encountered much downright trashing of other kids, just complete unnoticing of them. I brag about my boys because Gymnastics is pretty all consuming and I’m proud of their work. But I also love hearing about other kids’ axxomplishments and comment on great things they do whether their parents are talking about them or not. And for what it’s worth, I don’t consider anyone braggy here because I get the sacrifice and the pride we all have.

Also, I use we and if others want to judge it, that’s cool. But like someone else said, it is we. It’s our whole darn family (we have 4 kids on team, our lives revolve around gym schedules). Now, I would never say “we” won a gold medal or anything like that but we do have practice and meets and everything else that goes with being a gym family.

 

[tpMom]

@FlippinLilysMom For the record, I never found you to be overly braggy on any thread I've seen, I think you just had a few weeks where you were especially excited about what your Lily was accomplishing.

I actually haven't seen too much excessive bragging on this forum in general. Usually the annoying braggy parents are at meets not on chalkbucket. At least in my limited experience!

 

[Flippin'A]

Most of the parents in my DD's group drop off at the beginning of practice, then arrive 15 or so minutes early for pickup. We're all new to team so it's nice to chat and get to know each other, but there's one parent who stays the entire time. She seems to think it's her job to report back on how everyone's kid did at practice. She does it in a fairly subtle way, but after a while it became clear that she was emphasizing the negatives for every other child, and then rounding out the conversation by telling us how amazing her daughter was. This, to me, is a braggy parent. She isn't doing this on a special occasion when her kid really accomplished something, it's every single practice. We've all kind of learned to tune her out, but it just strikes me as sad that she clearly has nothing more going on in her life than her 8-year-old's level 3 gymnastics team.

Oh, and she's a big "we" talker. Not "We have a meet this weekend" as some commenter were discussing, but rather, "we stuck our cartwheel on high beam." I wanted to ask her to get up on the beam and show me.

 

[Taxidriver]

Most of the parents in my DD's group drop off at the beginning of practice, then arrive 15 or so minutes early for pickup. We're all new to team so it's nice to chat and get to know each other, but there's one parent who stays the entire time. She seems to think it's her job to report back on how everyone's kid did at practice. She does it in a fairly subtle way, but after a while it became clear that she was emphasizing the negatives for every other child, and then rounding out the conversation by telling us how amazing her daughter was. This, to me, is a braggy parent. She isn't doing this on a special occasion when her kid really accomplished something, it's every single practice. We've all kind of learned to tune her out, but it just strikes me as sad that she clearly has nothing more going on in her life than her 8-year-old's level 3 gymnastics team.

Oh, and she's a big "we" talker. Not "We have a meet this weekend" as some commenter were discussing, but rather, "we stuck our cartwheel on high beam." I wanted to ask her to get up on the beam and show me.

There’s always one of those parents in our gym, just as soon as one has left another one comes along, you certainly learn who to avoid at pick up time.

 

[RTT2]

Most of the parents in my DD's group drop off at the beginning of practice, then arrive 15 or so minutes early for pickup. We're all new to team so it's nice to chat and get to know each other, but there's one parent who stays the entire time. She seems to think it's her job to report back on how everyone's kid did at practice. She does it in a fairly subtle way, but after a while it became clear that she was emphasizing the negatives for every other child, and then rounding out the conversation by telling us how amazing her daughter was. This, to me, is a braggy parent. She isn't doing this on a special occasion when her kid really accomplished something, it's every single practice. We've all kind of learned to tune her out, but it just strikes me as sad that she clearly has nothing more going on in her life than her 8-year-old's level 3 gymnastics team.

Oh, and she's a big "we" talker. Not "We have a meet this weekend" as some commenter were discussing, but rather, "we stuck our cartwheel on high beam." I wanted to ask her to get up on the beam and show me.

I have observed something those mothers all seem to have in common, but it isn't particularly kind so I'll just bite my tongue.

 

[meganliz77]

@FlippinLilysMom For the record, I never found you to be overly braggy on any thread I've seen, I think you just had a few weeks where you were especially excited about what your Lily was accomplishing.

I actually haven't seen too much excessive bragging on this forum in general. Usually the annoying braggy parents are at meets not on chalkbucket. At least in my limited experience!

I agree... not as much on CB site, but now Instagram??? Ugghhh.... I just. can't. even. That site is filled with over the top parents posting everything... but that is a whole different thread and I think we've covered it before

 

[Flicfliclay]

I really like that I asked this question, It really helps give me some perspective. In all actuality gymnastics is a crazy sport and in some cases it really does take over your life. i find myself wondering if we are good parents because of the pure blood, sweat, time, money, tears, and HOURS our babies put into this. I can see where parents can seem braggy and truly not intend on sounding that way. Just out of the pure pride they/we have for our hard working children. Some seem to keep more quiet while others may shout it from the rooftops. I found that in reading these replies that i guess it doesn't really matter if one is braggy or not, as it is their way and who am i or anyone else to say it is wrong. (minus if they are mean spirited about it and others ) I guess with that being said BRAG AWAY! ( although i am sure i will still just stick to my personal fb page LOL )

 

[Flyaway]

I've said before, if you can't brag here, where can you brag? I think CB should be a soft place to land for all the proud mamas, dads, grandparents, etc. We all GET it. No matter the level, no matter the experience.

I do agree, in general life, however - bragging parents for me are the ones that are only interested in talking about their kid and could care less about anyone else's. The one that solicits likes and comments on their FB videos but never thinks to comment or follow along on a friend's kid's athletic journey. Life is reciprocal, and when that gets out of balance, people notice.

 

[Stormergymnastics]

I don't post often, but love to read the posts. I think the only type of braggy parent that is hard to tolerate are those that put another down to "lift" theirs up.

 

[meganliz77]

I do agree, in general life, however - bragging parents for me are the ones that are only interested in talking about their kid and could care less about anyone else's. The one that solicits likes and comments on their FB videos but never thinks to comment or follow along on a friend's kid's athletic journey. Life is reciprocal, and when that gets out of balance, people notice.

I agree with this completely @Flyaway. Just my personal opinion here, but I will admit that I do sometimes I view 'bragginess' here on CB when the only contribution to the site from some parents is their kiddos accomplishments, and yet maybe they don't contribute to the forums/boards otherwise. I would say it is few and far between, but it does happen and it's unfortunate because they probably have some solid advice to share with the rest of us. I also agree that CB should be a place for proud family members to share their kiddos gymnastics accomplishments - no matter the size of that 'victory' or 'success'. I personally, in more private boards, have shared about my DD overcoming/dealing with fears and the small steps toward progress... because you all are my extended gymnastics family and understand what I am talking about and realize what a big deal it can be!

I am very proud of my DD's hard work and her involvement in this sport. I do post her routines on my personal FB page because I don't have much family in the area and they love to see her meets. I post the great, the good, and the ugly (but sometimes I cuss during filming of the ugly and quit taping - so I don't post that ) hahaha. I am the mom always cheering EVERY girl on. I know how hard they work! I know what it's like to see kiddos struggle too and I love to share in the excitement of their success. I will be the first to give a shout out or even send a text to a parent about their kiddo who slayed their routine.. (because building someone else up, or complimenting someone else's success doesn't in any way cost me a thing or take away from my DD's accomplishments - we are all in this together!!)

There is one mom at DD's gym that is 'that mom'. I will hear her in the lobby criticizing the coaches decisions about routines for her DD, because her DD has X skill or Y skill and "why won't the coach just let her do that". Her and DD competed level 3 together a few years back and during their first meet, I walked into the bathroom and heard this mom giving a 'pep' talk -- "Go out there baby, and just do it, you got this, you're better than all of them and should have no problem getting first". The pressure she puts on this child is craziness. Her DD is very athletically gifted and is now a level 8- going to be a level 9, 11 year old. But it is clear, that to this mother no one and nothing compares to her DD.

 

[aerials]

The braggy parents are usually easy to spot. They are at the gym ALL the time, get tons of privates for their kids, put tons of pressure on their kids and are sometimes unnecessarily critical of their kids. But on facebook/instagram they have the #1 gymnast. There are other parents that may even post more or at the gym just as much but don't come across as braggy because they are genuinely excited and are excited for all the kids. There is one mom who has a young girl that is doing well and she posts a ton on facebook, is at the gym a ton but doesn't come across as braggy...she so genuine and she is just too new and doesn't fully understand gymnastics, her excitement comes across as naive and enduring. I do like cheering at meets (not too loud though, ) and it is fun when someone on my dd's team does particularly well, especially those where it doesn't come easily and who have worked soo hard for something. I find those moments so much more fun than those who are constantly scoring 9.4s

 

[jenjean70]

@Flicfliclay Great question. I find myself so proud of my daughter for the things she has accomplished and at times want to shout look at Her, then I remember most people do not care what my daughter is doing. I remember most people are proud of their children's accomplishments as well. It's a fine line when someone is fishing for compliments and bragging versus just looking to share with friends family. The chalk bucket CAN be a soft place to talk and share but not always. I find myself wanting to share videos but usually do not and when I have chosen to do so I usually feel anxious about doing so. Sometimes it is hard to return to the thread and read the comments.

So instead of sharing or bragging, I think:

Gymnastics is indeed my daughter's sport, the thing she loves more than anything at this moment. Those feelings may change tomorrow so, for now, I am enjoying the journey with her. Today she wants me on her team and to be included in most of what she does. I tend to try to enjoy the current status of team Dani knowing next week everything could change.

I would like an open sharing thread for us parents that need to just get the excitement or disappointment out.

I LOVE seeing the videos of what these kiddos can do. It always amazes me and I am happy for them mine or not. I know how difficult this sport is so I always like to see the success and progress of any and all gymnasts...but that's just me.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Most of the parents in my DD's group drop off at the beginning of practice, then arrive 15 or so minutes early for pickup. We're all new to team so it's nice to chat and get to know each other, but there's one parent who stays the entire time. She seems to think it's her job to report back on how everyone's kid did at practice. She does it in a fairly subtle way, but after a while it became clear that she was emphasizing the negatives for every other child, and then rounding out the conversation by telling us how amazing her daughter was. This, to me, is a braggy parent. She isn't doing this on a special occasion when her kid really accomplished something, it's every single practice. We've all kind of learned to tune her out, but it just strikes me as sad that she clearly has nothing more going on in her life than her 8-year-old's level 3 gymnastics team.

Oh, and she's a big "we" talker. Not "We have a meet this weekend" as some commenter were discussing, but rather, "we stuck our cartwheel on high beam." I wanted to ask her to get up on the beam and show me.

Yep, That's the parent.....

Again, totally and completely my opinion regarding the use of "we", it includes yourself. Me, I don't have states. When my manager asked me to work the weekend of states. My answer was, "Sorry, heading off to Buffalo, my kid has states." It wasn't "we have states".

I support my kid's education, I don't say I'm going into 7th grade. Totally JMO, but we is over-involved.

 

[JessSyd]

I often say we. "We are heading off to xyz for a competition on Saturday". Not once have I had a listener wonder which one of us will be doing the gymnastics. In the same vein, I will say I am heading to the opera on the weekend and rely on context and the intelligence of the listener to figure out that I will be watching, not singing.

I will occasionally, when context requires, refer to it sometimes as 'our gym'. As a not for profit gym, it is the sort of place that embraces (and makes use of) the whole family. We do different things there, but we both participate. She trains. I help out with fundraising sausage sizzles and help chaperone away meets.

The only time I do not say we is when it would not be accurate. We are going to a competition, but we are not competing. Our gym requires both of us to be there on a Saturday morning, but we are not training. We did not get our kip, she got her kip.

To get back to the topic of bragging. I love it when a parent has a good brag about their child's hard work or achievements. Be proud. Share your joy. As long as you also have other topics of conversation and can spare a moment for anything someone else might have to say, then I am happy to be included in your excitement.

 

[John]

When the end of summer training approaches I will start a brag thread in the Wag forum, let's hope everyone has good and bad videos to share.

 

[Taxidriver]

When the end of summer training approaches I will start a brag thread in the Wag forum, let's hope everyone has good and bad videos to share.

I don’t think I’m a braggy mum, I post a few videos on Facebook but no more than 2 or 3 a year and that’s only as it’s an easy way to share with family but I only post the good videos I would never share a video of my dd on a bad day and that’s not because I want to make her out as better than she is but because I know she’s upset when things haven’t gone well and she just wants to put it behind her and not be reminded of it or asked about it.
Maybe on here things are different as everyone appreciates how tough gym is and knows everyone falls from time to time but saying that I prefer to remain anonymous so won’t post and videos good or bad as then I will no longer be anonymous.