Parents What constitutes a braggy parent?

[kitkat]

I would classify a braggy parent as someone who thinks their gymnast is better then other peoples gymnasts. Or someone who says stuff like my daughter can do you and yours can't. Its the one upper parent... to me thats a braggy parent.
I share my daughters success on her because I am so proud of her and what she has accomplished. So I am not sure if people would consider me a braggy parent (hope not) but people will make their opinions on how they feel. Alex has placed first and placed last. Its the circle of life in gymnastics.
We have raised Alex to think - she is competing with her friends. Not competing against them. Not once have I ever heard my daughter say she is better then someone else, or has gotten something that someone else hasn't. Or she won and they lost.... And honestly I believe thats a reflection of our values.
Braggy parents raise braggy kids. Every gym has them.
Bring on the videos... Love watching and liking them .

 

[raenndrops]

I looked up the social group mentioned above, but how do you become a member? It says I have insufficient privileges...

@MaryA is the moderator. Maybe send her a message?

 

[raenndrops]

I agree... not as much on CB site, but now Instagram??? Ugghhh.... I just. can't. even. That site is filled with over the top parents posting everything... but that is a whole different thread and I think we've covered it before

One (of MANY) reason I am not on Instagram, lol.

 

[raenndrops]

I agree with this completely @Flyaway. I post the great, the good, and the ugly (but sometimes I cuss during filming of the ugly and quit taping - so I don't post that ) hahaha. I am the mom always cheering EVERY girl on.

That is why I mute sound and have music playing in the background... then have to sync the floor music to the actual floor routine (I do my best, lol). However, being at a YMCA gym, my "cussing" is usually a little more inventive ... I seem to always be surrounded by Catholics and Lutherans and Baptists (the big 3 at our gym), lol.

 

[NY Dad]

How can anyone have a kid in this sport and not be super proud? Who better to share it with than the CB community? I’ve consolidated ideas/opinions from this thread and come up with my own CB bragging guidelines (I know, preaching to the choir)

CB Bragging Guidelines (unofficial )
- Don’t compare/put others down
- Only brag occasionally
- Don’t come here just to brag (you’ve got more to add)
o If you’re going to share the good, you should feel free to share the bad too.
- Don’t intentionally fish for complements
- Care about (or pretend to) others’ accomplishments
- No need to exaggerate/don’t be overly enthusiastic, all of our kids are awesome.
- “We” didn’t get a new skill, your kid did
- Be genuine, don’t brag just to brag (tone/intent)
o Know your audience
- There’s no such thing as “bragworthy”. Don’t feel constrained, if you’re super proud that your kid finally got a BHS on floor or broke into the mid 8’s on beam all means brag away.
- Brags are more meaningful in context. A backstory about why you’re so proud, how hard your kid worked, how they struggled or got past a block is better than a straight up list of new skills.
- Don’t respond negatively to others' brags.
o Unfortunately, when one person responds negatively to a brag, it not only sucks the joy/enthusiasm from the original poster, it also makes others much less likely to post their own brags.

That having been said, brag away!!!

 

[SMH]

Brag about your kid all you want- but, if your pride for your kid is so laser focused that you can’t also celebrate your child’s teammates accomplishments, well that’s a problem. Our team had a very small group in my daughters session at state this year ( 3 kids) and one family didn’t even raise their hands to clap or cheer for a kid who was not their own during awards. Which is glaringly obvious when there are only 3 families from your team at awards.

 

[KipNurse]

The braggy parents are usually easy to spot. They are at the gym ALL the time, get tons of privates for their kids, put tons of pressure on their kids and are sometimes unnecessarily critical of their kids. But on facebook/instagram they have the #1 gymnast. There are other parents that may even post more or at the gym just as much but don't come across as braggy because they are genuinely excited and are excited for all the kids. There is one mom who has a young girl that is doing well and she posts a ton on facebook, is at the gym a ton but doesn't come across as braggy...she so genuine and she is just too new and doesn't fully understand gymnastics, her excitement comes across as naive and enduring. I do like cheering at meets (not too loud though, ) and it is fun when someone on my dd's team does particularly well, especially those where it doesn't come easily and who have worked soo hard for something. I find those moments so much more fun than those who are constantly scoring 9.4s

That parent you mentioned in the beginning of your post...it's like you go to our gym Kidding...But really...You kind of nailed one or two I've seen. Which thankfully, there aren't a lot of.

 

[e'smum]

well a braggy parent can also be the parent of a kid who tells other kids that she's the best on their team.
that kid is getting it from somewhere. there have been a couple of kids who have done that in our gym. that we are better than you nonsense. but this past season, one kid actually said to her level teammates that she was the best one. i'm quite sure her mom put that in her head. i don't trust her mom either. luckily she and my dd are in different levels but at some point they will be level teammates. i'm dreading that.

 

[e'smum]

I use "we" quite often... why? Because 9 times out of 10, I am going too. I am sitting there, and just as unable to make any other commitments as she is. (And sometimes, it's the whole family of 7 people. If that isn't a "we", I don't know what is)

I will never take credit for my daughter's accomplishments or live through her. I will take credit (with my husband) for raising her. And I have my own life filled with accomplishments (no matter how big or small) in my previous work, with music and with swing dancing.

"We" doesn't mean I am fusing myself to my daughter. It can simply be inclusive language--and a whole lot faster than saying "Short Stack has a Meet, and I am going too"

ETA, this post was not intended to be antagonistic in any way. Just offering another perspective... the use of one word does not necessarily indicate a braggy parent. And I will cede that I have come across a braggy parent or two who do use "we" that way.

i say we as well. i've started correcting myself at times b/c i don't want people to think i'm *that* parent who is living life through my kid and pushing her to be a sport she may not necessarily want to be in. i'd honestly be thrilled if she quit but she is dedicated to it right now.
but yes, it's usually "we". i'm the one doing her hair and making sure she gets to the meets and practices on time and signing her up for special camps and making arrangements for her new floor routine (which she just finished yesterday and it's FABULOUS!) and taking her this week to the team banquet.

 

[e'smum]

I looked up the social group mentioned above, but how do you become a member? It says I have insufficient privileges...

you have to post a certain # of posts (i think) to be able to join the private social groups. i will say there's not much activity going on in that one. i was a little disappointed b/c i enjoy seeing videos of how the other kids are doing.

 

[RTT2]

well a braggy parent can also be the parent of a kid who tells other kids that she's the best on their team.
that kid is getting it from somewhere. there have been a couple of kids who have done that in our gym. that we are better than you nonsense. but this past season, one kid actually said to her level teammates that she was the best one. i'm quite sure her mom put that in her head. i don't trust her mom either. luckily she and my dd are in different levels but at some point they will be level teammates. i'm dreading that.

We have one of those. The kid frequently announces loudly in the lobby that she was the first to get a certain skill or that she is the best at a skill. Her mother is a woman who I've never heard speak about anything other than herself or how awesome her kids are, so it's pretty clear where her daughter gets it from.

 

[jessifrostR]

I have a friend who posts every single new skill her kid gets to the point that I imagine mom must live in the gym waiting to record every skill, posts shots of her daughter posing everywhere ("This is how a gymnast does the playground!"), posts videos of every event from every meet, and seems to focus all of her time and attention on the daughter in favor of the other child. I get being proud of a child's accomplishments, but the bragging gets old.

Oh no this might be me! I love sharing videos of new exciting big skills and I do post videos from meets.. but I can’t help it. I get so excited and I am so proud of her. I figure some people don’t care but the ones that do enjoy seeing her progress (like friends and family) will get to keep up if they want.

 

[jessifrostR]

Brag about your kid all you want- but, if your pride for your kid is so laser focused that you can’t also celebrate your child’s teammates accomplishments, well that’s a problem. Our team had a very small group in my daughters session at state this year ( 3 kids) and one family didn’t even raise their hands to clap or cheer for a kid who was not their own during awards. Which is glaringly obvious when there are only 3 families from your team at awards.

That’s so sad. All of our team parents clap for every single girl after each event and awards!

 

[SMH]

That’s so sad. All of our team parents clap for every single girl after each event and awards!

Luckily, her team and the parents as a whole are otherwise very supportive, I might have not noticed had there been so few kids competing that session.