Parents What do you really wish you could tell the coach?

[raenndrops]

Ok, all of the nice stuff that has been posted here, I think you should tell your coaches these things! Put them in a note, say it to their faces, I think it would make their day. I've done this and it's made a real impact on them. I don't think you should have to wish to say these things. On the other hand...
I wish I could tell my DD's coaches that I would love for them to be more encouraging and with more energy. My DD does not respond well to negative attention and "angry face" toughness. She responds greatly to positivity and praise. The negative stuff gives her anxiety as she only wants to please her coaches. Keep the sarcasm out and fill it with something productive. These things I would not say.

In person, I get as far as "thank you..." before I start tearing up. HC has done so much for the girls and I. She KNOWS how I feel for the most part. I just don't think she knows how much she means to the girls.

 

[Natalia]

I don't think this is appropriate behavior. I would be bothered if my dd's coaches tickled them.

It beats throttling them.

 

[Jen H.]

To one coach, an ounce of your praise means SO much to our girls and ALL of them deserve it, not just your favorites, stop being stingy!

To all of them, remember that that tiny girl out there is somebody's daughter-mine, I am trusting you with her, please know that I trust you and your program.
Please help her be her best, she things the world of you.
Thank you for all that you have given her. She is a much different child than when she began this journey, I have seen her use many lessons from the gym in her life outside of gym.

 

[Becauseisaid]

Coach A1 - You have no idea how much you have done for this program. The girls love you. The parents love you. You are wonderful! So don't get caught in the drama. Remember - you're the coach. You sometimes have to make the decision whether it is popular or not. It's okay to be friends with the parents, but at the end of the day you can't let that influence how you coach. You're doing great. Believe it and believe in yourself.

Coach A2 - The girls learn so much more from you than they (and some of the parents) realize. Thank you! It has been so nice to see you more relaxed now that competition season is over. Try to keep that feeling. I don't like seeing you stressed; your bedside manner suffers. Whether anyone acknowledges it, the girls NEED you to be the tough-but-fair coach. They're learning so much more than gymnastics from you - they're learning how to focus and work for what they want. For that I say Thank You.

HC/Owner - Since you've come back to head coach the teams, they have flown! Please don't forget them again. Not just anyone can coach the girls like you can. The other coaches are amazing, but your experience makes you invaluable. No one can coach the girls like you do. They like you. But more importantly they trust you. It's why you can get them to do things the other coaches can't. You ARE the gymnast whisperer and we need you. But we, the parents, need you to be consistent and firm with your rules. Make a decision and stick with it. It's okay if some parents aren't happy. It's okay if a gymnast leaves. You cannot make all the parents happy all the time and changing your mind for the 1 that is whining just ticks off the rest of us. We'll stick with you.

 

[Ariekannairb]

Please make my daughter point both of her feet! It is driving me insane that she has 1 flat foot when doing her handstand on the beam! I would also let them know that my girl WANTS to be pushed and would accomplish so much if they would take her work ethic, ability to take directions well and desire to excel and run with it.

PS. I was hoping that this would be a sort of "confession" thread, but now I feel like I have to disclaim that I love our coaches. They have been the most wonderfully communicative coaches and they accepted my DD mid-season knowing she couldn't compete but treating her just like the girls who were. She was not pushed to the side ever. But I did tell them that, so it isn't really something I wish I could.

 

[Becauseisaid]

PS. I was hoping that this would be a sort of "confession" thread, but now I feel like I have to disclaim that I love our coaches.

Thanks. You reminded me of one.

Coach A1 - it's okay to NOT spot my DD. She's using you. You know she can do the skill. But as long as you continue to spot her, she'll continue to balk unless you're there. Sometimes you just have to say "Do it NOW!". It's okay. I approve.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

It beats throttling them.

bwahahahahahahahaha!

 

[Deleted member D3987]

i must say that i am impressed by what all of you have written.

 

[cbifoja]

DD's coaches will occasionally lighten the mood and pick her up or hold her hand or tickle her, too. It doesn't bother me, in fact, makes me smile to see that they are building a bond! I think it shows that they care about her, not just her gymnastics. BUT, maybe I should clarify that my DD is only 8. I don't think tickles would be appropriate for a 16 year old.....

Yeah, mine is 9 and has been with with this woman for going on 5 years. It would be different if she was a teenager and the coach was a man, but a 50 year old woman tickling and 9 year girl who is already rather giggly anyway....no red flags for me.

 

[Peasmama]

Tell coach that it's counterproductive and hurtful to my kid when coach says "That's why you're going to have to do Level x again!" , when child is inconsistent with a new skill or fails to apply a correction. Even my kiddo tells me "That doesn't help me learn, it doesn't make me do it better. Coach is just telling me I'm not good." My child is on Team, compulsories.

 

[gymdog]

i must say that i am impressed by what all of you have written.

Actually I was a little afraid of this thread at first...

 

[LizzieLac]

Thank you for giving my DD something she LOVES!! And, thank you for creating a gym that is like a big family!!

But, please tell DD when she is making a breakthrough. A little praise can go a long way!

 

[Peasmama]

I must add that coach is amazing with the kids in all other respects. Coach has brought them so far in a short time and is respected by all- kids, parents, and all other coaches

 

[JMACAZ]

Coach A Thank you for believing in my DD when her old coach did not. Thanks you for helping her to get her spark back

Coach L Thanks you for helping DD with her form and getting the important skills she needed. Thank you also for not being to upset when she decided to go a different way

 

[raenndrops]

i must say that i am impressed by what all of you have written.

The funny thing is... I don't tell them all of what I have written, but if there is a problem or concern, I am VERY vocal. I have known HC and Coach N for 8 years.
They know the situation and if there is a problem (family related for the girls... or problems with an assistant coach or a skill or something that the coach should know but my gymmies are afraid to say because they don't want to make anyone mad), I will privately speak to HC about it.
My willingness to intervene is the reason the girls only quit once... and subsequently came back when they realized quitting was a mistake (less than 3 months later for OG and less than a month later for YG - quit different times, came back at the same time).
HC also uses me as a sounding board and an information source. She knows she can vent to me or ask me a question and I will listen to the venting and not share what she says with anyone. I will also either answer the question immediately, or text her as soon as I have the answer.

 

[leotardmakermum]

I'd love to tell the coach "Although I am not a gymnastics coach I do understand my daughter. If things aren't working at times, I might have insights into her character that you don't yet have. Don't let your ego get in the way. This is not just you and her; this is you, her, and us as parents. We all need to work together. It wouldn't work without out her, or you or us. Don't discount us, just because we're not gymnastics coaches."

Actually, I'd like to say that to school teachers sometimes too...

I'd also like to say "Thank you for all you do for our daughter. She is learning so much, and she loves gymnastics. She also loves you. Keep up the great work."

 

[Rapunzel]

To one person who dedicates a crazy amount of time - thank-you, I couldn't believe it when I found out the gym wasn't your job and you had a full time job on top. Thank-you doesn't seem enough, for the difference you've made to 100s of children's lives.
To DD1s coach - thank-you, you have the patience of a saint. Now there is one thing, dd loves the praise and the hi-5's but when you hug her she cringes, she tenses up - she has a button phobia and those buttons on your coaching uniform are close to her face when you hug her- its like putting a spider next to the face of a spider phobic person, but dd doesn't want me to tell you, she doesn't want anyone to know as she would die of embarrassment.
Dd2s coach - seriously she has talent? Are you looking at the same kid?!

 

[profmom]

I do think it's important to express the positive feelings/feedback. Here are a few things I have told the coaches:

On the girls' side: Thanks for being patient with her on beam and helping her through this tough stretch. I know it's been a long time with this block, and I think you're a wonderful coach. And on vault, I can't believe how far she's come! You've done a great job getting her to this place. It's been great that she's had such a good year. I appreciate it.

On the boys' side: You've done a great job with the big guy on everything, but on vault and floor in particular. He's come SUCH a long way. But you've also made him into a great leader and teammate. I really appreciate that. And you have built a real team -- I love watching these guys compete together.

 

[ollieblueeyes]

First, I would like the summer schedule please.

Secondly, occasional feedback would be nice. This years scores were not the greatest team wide and the parental grumbling is hitting an all time high. Two girls have jumped ship already. A little info may go a long way!

 

[OzZee]

To HC - I'm very sorry but at times I really can't understand you (your English). If I am smiling at the wrong thing or looking lost please repeat. (I still cringe at the time when I was being told the story of how he had buried the dog that day and I was smiling and nodding back, until near the end I finally understood and had to change my whole demeanor. )
To nearly all the coaches - the kids want positive and constructive criticism. They don't mind hearing what's bad so long as they also hear what's good!