Women When is enough enough - mean coach?

[Aussie_coach]

^^^^^^ This, this this! Trust Bookworm! She and many others have changed gyms the easy and the hard way. Even going to the extreme measure of using a burner phone so you can’t be easily identified, matters. If you need to email, set up a new, free, anonymous account too. In the gym world, everyone seems to know everyone and who is moving gyms is a popular topic for parents, staff and often the gymnasts themselves.

This floors me, is it really a problem if the old gym finds out a gymnasts has gone elsewhere once they have already left with no intention to return.

Here in Australia it would not be possible to hide this information. If you change gyms (even after a 10 year break), your new gym must apply to your old gym for a transfer. The old gym have 1 month to either approve or deny the transfer.

The old gym can deny the transfer if there are outstanding fees owed at the previous gym, or if the gymnast is still training at the previous gym (in which case the new gym needs to apply for a dual membership). So if you change gyms, the old gym will know exactly where you have gone, and the new gym will know exactly where you have come from.

 

[Jard.the.gymnast]

This floors me, is it really a problem if the old gym finds out a gymnasts has gone elsewhere once they have already left with no intention to return.

From stories ive heard: yes, it can be. Gyms badmouth kids and parents to the old team or sometimes even to the new gym, causing them to be kicked out. Ive heard stories about clubs making up fees to keep kids from leaving.
If i wouldnt have heard I would have never believed

 

[Sk8ermaiden]

Yes, many gyms seem to feel like a gymnast is their property and don't take kindly to them leaving to train somewhere else. I have not heard of people in my city having an issue, but have heard many stories from others.

 

[bookworm]

Aussie Coach... it can and does happen and continues to this day. It's why many kids were stuck at gyms like Gedderts because monster John thought he owned them and there were policies that made moves prohibitive, like giving a years notice and having to pay for the 12 months when you wanted out of there. Most gyms don't do it to that degree , but it has happened to us and is was awful and I warn people so they don't have to go through it themselves.

 

[gymgal]

This floors me, is it really a problem if the old gym finds out a gymnasts has gone elsewhere once they have already left with no intention to return.

I think Bookworm was referring more to the period of time when the family is searching for a new gym and is still at the old gym. That is when anonymity is most important. Gym owners know and talk with each other, some are friends. If you use your real name, the prospect gym will likely call the old gym (even when they say they won't) and why not? I would want to know if there are past bills due, any CGM/D issues, etc. Once the family leaves the old gym, the news will travel very fast. You can't prevent that, but at least you can control it while you are still looking.

 

[txgymfan]

We have had CB members literally blackballed, unable to find a new gym because coach made up fees and told every other gym in a big driving radius to not accept the family. The gymnast had to leave the sport after being verbally abused by that gym.

 

[duyetanh]

My first thought was - if you’re asking, it’s already enough. I’d be exploring options.

Yes, this. Unfortunately by the time you know it’s time to leave, it’s already been time to leave, darn it. So.....
Trying to say this kindly....
It’s time to leave!

 

[Melboogie]

Thank you all for the responses. I sort of knew what I had to do but really wanted to hear it from other gymnastics parents. Especially those that have experienced such a thing. It's all very reassuring. I had a long conversation with my daughter and she has decided to finish out the season (another 2 months). I've also been shopping around for another gym. Thank you again to all. This has been very informative. Who knew the gymnastics community could get so nasty.

 

[txgymfan]

[QUOTE="Melboogie, post: 580500, member: Who knew the gymnastics community could get so nasty.
[/QUOTE]

Sadly, many people here have seen the ugly side of this sport. Fortunately, many also interact with kind, loving coaches and families. CB can be a great source of community and information.