Anon Young gymnasts training with older gymnasts

[Anonymous (0f81)]

Some of the younger girls at our gym have started training more with the higher level groups consisting of older girls. Unfortunately, my DD is not a fan of the mixed sessions. She says the older girls are bossy and she prefers training with the girls her age. I can understand this from her perspective. I actually took time to watch recently and she is right, some of the older girls are bossy like an older sister.

I also understand it from the coaches perspective. These few, younger girls are good. In the not so distant future they will be competing the same levels as the older girls. I don't see the gym carving out a special time slot for 3 girls just because they are younger. They need to be a team.

How would you talk to your young daughter about the situation?

 

[Gymnast_13]

I’m not a parent, but I am a gymnast, and I’ve definitely been on both sides of this. I’ve been the younger one feeling bossed around, and I’ve also been the older one (even if it didn’t always come across the best ). Training with older girls can feel intimidating at first, especially if they seem a little bossy. A lot of the time it’s not meant in a bad way, it’s just what they’re used to in their group.


What helped me was focusing on my own training and remembering that being around older, stronger athletes can actually push you to improve faster. At the same time, it’s totally valid that she feels more comfortable with girls her own age. Maybe it would help to remind her that she’s there because she’s good enough to be, and that confidence will grow with time.

 

[Anonymous (4606)]

My daughter is about to finish her 8th competitive season and has always been the youngest on her team. Have your daughter make friends with the kids her age or close to her age and hang with them during practice. She probably won’t be “friends” with the older girls due to age differences and that is ok. My 12 year old is on team with 16 year olds. They are all nice to each other but she isn’t “friends” with them. There is a maturity gap. She is friends with another girl who is much closer in age to her.

If the older kids are bossy, which they will be at times, tell her to ignore it as long as they aren’t being mean to her. Remind her that that teammate might have a younger sibling that she is used to bossing around and then tell her to hang with her friends.

At some point, the age gap won’t seem like such a big difference. Even though 12 and 16 can be quite different, the gap doesn’t seem nearly as big as when she was an 6-11 year old and training with girls up to four years older than her.

As they get older and mature, it will feel better. I also used to have concerns about my daughter always training with older girls but that gap doesn’t seem as big as it used to be.