Parents Choosing to stay L3 and not move up...

[Natasha]

Oh, wow, didn't expect this to get so heated!

Mom, you are doing a good job navigating what is right for your gymnast. Please note that the mom and daughter told the coach what they'd LIKE to do, as in their opinion, not that they were bossing.

As a coach, if I have a talented seven year old and she is burning out, you better believe I'd modify the hours. I'd much rather have the kid move more slowly through the levels then burn out at 8 (like so many talented ones do).

As for other parents, it's not their business. It has little to no effect on their child and their performance. Zero. As long as you're paying full tuition, it's fair.

My old coach used to say, "If they're not in the gym, I can't train them." As long as parents understand that, we are good.

Exactly!
Every parent/child can choose for themselves not to attend the full hours. Depending on your gym and your daughter's natural abilities, it will have different consequences. Some gyms may not allow it. Obviously the OP's gym did or they wouldn't have wanted to move her up a level. I totally could understand parents getting upset if the OP said she wanted her kid to be moved to L4 but not put in the extra hours. But that is not what is going on here. She is asking to repeat L3 so that she doesn't have to do the L4 hours. How that negatively impacts any other kid on team is beyond my understanding.

 

[LJL07]

You can take it as condescending if you want, but that just further serves what I'm saying. We've all been in your position of being so concerned about what everyone else was doing when our kids were low levels. Then they got to level 8, level 9, level 10 and it's just not an issue anymore. We have real gymnastics problems to worry about. We are no longer jealous of our kid's teammates getting something faster or better with less hours because they are like sisters to our daughters. They are the ones that pick our child up when they are having a rough day. How could we resent a teammate who may be the only way our child makes it through a hard day? The only person in her world who understand so intimately what she deals with everyday. You don't get this at level 1, but you will if your child is lucky enough to make it to the higher levels. Then we can have a real discussion about commitment.

You are just rude, and there is no need to be, esp since you apparently have all this wisdom and experience.

We ARE talking about the lower levels in this thread. When the kids are young and forming relationships with teammates--"sister-like relationships," if you will. This isn't the way to do it. We just finished level one, which by the way was 6 hours (more than this child was going), and we will be moving up to 9 hours. I feel like I'm in the thick of this right now and am just as "qualified" to cite my opinion as you are.

If your daughter is one of a handful of level 9's/10's, you are in a different situation. But I feel sure you wouldn't tell your coach, "hey, the rest of the level 9's go 16 hours a week, but I just don't think we are up for that. We will just go 12 instead bc she wants to go to high school football games, be in beta club, etc." I'm sure your coach would be delighted to hear that and would jump right on board. It's the principle. Who cares what skills she has? And I would hope if this girl stays down in level 3, (totally understandable!) she will go the 9 hours like the rest of the team next year. We do other things. It's doable.

 

[happychaos]

I understand the desire to NOT go until 9pm. Our gym has the littles there until 9pm too, and it drives me crazy. But, in order to safely perform higher level skills, your DD WILL have to increase her hours, and soon.

What if every girl on the team decided to only come at the hours that are convenient for them? Perhaps it's difficult for some to get there at 6 because it's dinner time, so a few come at 6:30, then a few at 7. There may be one girl who arrives at 7:30 once a week because she simply can't miss girl scouts. Then there might be one or two who can't stay up until 9, so one leaves at 8, and the other at 8:30......

Personally, I think the coaches set a dangerous precedent by allowing this pick-and-choose mentality. It erodes the "seriousness" of the team commitment.

Also, gymnastically speaking, what is your DD going to gain by doing L3 again? Assuming that she will be the most advanced girl in her L3 group, are you expecting the coaches to continue to train her on L4 skills while the rest of the group works L3 skills? Once meet season approaches, the uptraining will decrease, the routines will increase, and most girls capable of L4 will be quite bored running L3 routine after routine.

I don't fault you for wanting to do things your way- if I thought it would fly at DD's gym I would certainly pick her up early at least once per week. I guess you should be grateful the coaches are as accommodating as they are, but I would seriously consider trying another sport. The schedules that competitive gymnasts must keep are incredibly difficult, even from a young age. I am sure that EVERY girl on your DD's team would like to also do brownies, swim, tennis, etc. The number of hours her team trains should still allow time for one other activity besides gymnastics. It is a BIG red flag to me that you said your DD tried 9 hours and hated it.

 

[annemurphy4]

Wow, I didn't expect this intense a discussion over something trivial (at least I thought it would be) trivial!) Let me clarify again once more - my daughter is non-competitive yes, but not in a "don't care" kinda way. She just is not an intense - must win and be superior than the others - kind of kid. We all have those (kids and parents) in our gym. I mean when we were @ meets she just is relaxed and enjoys herself...she doesn't stress out or worry over points. And again, we do not try and bend the hours to fit our schedule - We pay, we show up, she works hard and then we slip out at the end to get a good night's sleep.

I wonder, if I said we slipped out early because my daughter struggles with migranes or is diabetic and needs to go home...would there be as much discussion?

If this were soccer, I'd be upset if my daughter sat the bench and put all the hours and another child came less and started above her...but this is an individual sport - with my daughter not being at the gym as much she is getting less instructional time - that is the chance we take and we accept it. I would not expect extra training during L3 to fit her needs...she trains on what is asked at the time...if it's her L3 routine then it's that. If it's uptraining during the winter, the it's that. We do not ask for special anything. Her scooting out early only affects her....as soon as she packs up the other girls in her group then get a bit more time on whatever is being worked on...It has no bearing on others performance.

All I was stating is that we were informed that she has met the requirements of L4 and were invited to join the L4 team... that shocked me really. I asked the coaches that if they were ok with it, we wouldn't mind repeating L3 one more year due to the hours and my daughters age. Would she be one of the stronger L3's? Yes. She has plenty to work on with L3 - she is like a truck driver with her gracefulness. That's why I was so surprised at her being invited to join L4. I'm saddened to read so many comments about our level of committment...committment comes in all different packages and she is a proud and consistent team member.

My daughter hasn't worked one minute on her L3 routines since December...I don't feel she will be bored at all. She struggles with confidence and to repeat and fine tune this level would only strengthen her skills & self esteem. There's also something to be said about the little girls grouped with 12& 13 yr olds. Some of the older girls are nice to the younger ones, some not so much....but that's a whole other can of worms.

Well, I did ask with my original post - and now I have a clearer understanding of why some at the gym look at us strangely. I'm sorry if it rubbed some of you the wrong way.

 

[wallflower]

To the OP, you should do what is best for your child. If your DD's coach is on board with doing level 3 again and doing less hours then go for it! One of the things I've learned in gymnastics is to not worry about next year or next level, but do what is best for your child right now. This sport is very unpredictable and maybe next year she will be ready for more or maybe next year she will be ready to be a tennis player. She's young and just starting out. You don't need to worry about all these people telling your child should find another sport.

If you encounter people at your gym like some on this thread, just ignore them and be happy with the choices you made in the best interest of your child with the coaches blessing. She has plenty of years to do more hours. Plenty of years to make gym her entire world.

Best of luck to her!

 

[LJL07]

Wow, I didn't expect this intense a discussion over something trivial (at least I thought it would be) trivial!) Let me clarify again once more - my daughter is non-competitive yes, but not in a "don't care" kinda way. She just is not an intense - must win and be superior than the others - kind of kid. We all have those (kids and parents) in our gym. I mean when we were @ meets she just is relaxed and enjoys herself...she doesn't stress out or worry over points. And again, we do not try and bend the hours to fit our schedule - We pay, we show up, she works hard and then we slip out at the end to get a good night's sleep.

I wonder, if I said we slipped out early because my daughter struggles with migranes or is diabetic and needs to go home...would there be as much discussion?

If this were soccer, I'd be upset if my daughter sat the bench and put all the hours and another child came less and started above her...but this is an individual sport - with my daughter not being at the gym as much she is getting less instructional time - that is the chance we take and we accept it. I would not expect extra training during L3 to fit her needs...she trains on what is asked at the time...if it's her L3 routine then it's that. If it's uptraining during the winter, the it's that. We do not ask for special anything. Her scooting out early only affects her....as soon as she packs up the other girls in her group then get a bit more time on whatever is being worked on...It has no bearing on others performance.

All I was stating is that we were informed that she has met the requirements of L4 and were invited to join the L4 team... that shocked me really. I asked the coaches that if they were ok with it, we wouldn't mind repeating L3 one more year due to the hours and my daughters age. Would she be one of the stronger L3's? Yes. She has plenty to work on with L3 - she is like a truck driver with her gracefulness. That's why I was so surprised at her being invited to join L4. I'm saddened to read so many comments about our level of committment...committment comes in all different packages and she is a proud and consistent team member.

My daughter hasn't worked one minute on her L3 routines since December...I don't feel she will be bored at all. She struggles with confidence and to repeat and fine tune this level would only strengthen her skills & self esteem. There's also something to be said about the little girls grouped with 12& 13 yr olds. Some of the older girls are nice to the younger ones, some not so much....but that's a whole other can of worms.

Well, I did ask with my original post - and now I have a clearer understanding of why some at the gym look at us strangely. I'm sorry if it rubbed some of you the wrong way.

Migraines or a blood sugar issue during a practice is definitely grounds for skipping practice or leaving early. That's not what you are talking about though. And you said in the initial post that you are leaving early on two days of practice and skipping an entire day of practice, so basically doing just over half the hours of the other girls.

I really do get it about having a 7 year old. People think our schedule of 6 hours last season was nutty. Believe me, I would LOVE to scoot out early. I have a little one in tow half the time in addition. And I also think having the older girls around is tricky to navigate too, but we still have to do what the rest of the team does. I even considered looking into hot shots bc I was worried about all the hours too. This just wouldn't fly at our gym, so it rubbed me as unfair. That's all.

 

[gymgal]

Yes, it does make a difference if she were leaving for medical reasons and yes, I think that includes needing more sleep than other children her age. Mostly because it really isn't her choice - in order to stay healthy, she needs less hours. Completely different than not wanting to be there because she wants to do brownies or hang out with friends. With each post, you offered more information and I think if you had given the info in the first post, you probably wouldn't have gotten such a negative response. But I know it's hard to determine just how much information to put in a first post. That first post really sounded like you were making the decisions without regard to the coach's input, for fairly trivial reasons, and for a dd who didn't really seem like she wanted to commit to team, but was doing super well.

In the end, you have to do what is best for your family and as long as you have the coach's go ahead and you are making an informed decision (that this will likely slow her progress if she continues to go less hours than her teammates), then everything should be fine.

 

[gymdog]

The phrase "real gymnastics problems" is cracking me up, like real housewives of whatever. If you want to go there, unless you're the one out there facing releases or working half your life to be just not good enough, you've got no real gymnastics problems either. Neither do I. Come on now.

Also this (the OP's situation) doesn't matter at all either as long as the coaches say the kid is safe and allow this. Personally I would not allow this but level 4 skills are not that hard, this is no emergency. I've coached multiple 4 hour a week kips and back handsprings. If you don't hyper focus on the routines AND the kid has the corresponding natural ability it's not a big deal. It's not average, but it's not impossible or untenable either.

Lay out the request for the coaches, it's up to them to decide whether to say yes or not. Personally I'd tell you to swim or abandon ship but I also personally would never run my practice until 9pm so I don't envy you there. It's between you and the coaches.

 

[happychaos]

Wow, I didn't expect this intense a discussion over something trivial (at least I thought it would be) trivial!) Let me clarify again once more - my daughter is non-competitive yes, but not in a "don't care" kinda way. She just is not an intense - must win and be superior than the others - kind of kid. We all have those (kids and parents) in our gym. I mean when we were @ meets she just is relaxed and enjoys herself...she doesn't stress out or worry over points. And again, we do not try and bend the hours to fit our schedule - We pay, we show up, she works hard and then we slip out at the end to get a good night's sleep.

I wonder, if I said we slipped out early because my daughter struggles with migranes or is diabetic and needs to go home...would there be as much discussion?

If this were soccer, I'd be upset if my daughter sat the bench and put all the hours and another child came less and started above her...but this is an individual sport - with my daughter not being at the gym as much she is getting less instructional time - that is the chance we take and we accept it. I would not expect extra training during L3 to fit her needs...she trains on what is asked at the time...if it's her L3 routine then it's that. If it's uptraining during the winter, the it's that. We do not ask for special anything. Her scooting out early only affects her....as soon as she packs up the other girls in her group then get a bit more time on whatever is being worked on...It has no bearing on others performance.

All I was stating is that we were informed that she has met the requirements of L4 and were invited to join the L4 team... that shocked me really. I asked the coaches that if they were ok with it, we wouldn't mind repeating L3 one more year due to the hours and my daughters age. Would she be one of the stronger L3's? Yes. She has plenty to work on with L3 - she is like a truck driver with her gracefulness. That's why I was so surprised at her being invited to join L4. I'm saddened to read so many comments about our level of committment...committment comes in all different packages and she is a proud and consistent team member.

My daughter hasn't worked one minute on her L3 routines since December...I don't feel she will be bored at all. She struggles with confidence and to repeat and fine tune this level would only strengthen her skills & self esteem. There's also something to be said about the little girls grouped with 12& 13 yr olds. Some of the older girls are nice to the younger ones, some not so much....but that's a whole other can of worms.

Well, I did ask with my original post - and now I have a clearer understanding of why some at the gym look at us strangely. I'm sorry if it rubbed some of you the wrong way.

Frankly, "scooting out at the end" and "slipping out at the end to get a good nights sleep" are not what you have described. Of the 3 practices per week, your DD skips one entirely, and leaves the other two early, right?

I am sure that the other team parents look at you funny because they are sick to death of parents who think that their kid is such a special snowflake. Sure, your DD is tired, and wants to do brownies (as you said) JUST LIKE THEIR KIDS. You said commitment comes in all different packages, and that's true....but you are only committing to 1/2 the work and 1/2 the sacrifice of the rest of the team.

Aside from the message this sends to your DD's team and coaches, I would be concerned about the subtle message that your DD is getting from this. The message that she should be allowed to have ALL the privileges of being on team, without having to put in the same amount of work as everyone else. Do you understand that your DD's teammates are also tired and missing out on other worthwhile activities?

Your DD has been lucky in that her talent has gotten her this far with very little work. I wonder though, what would your DD's coach have said about the reduced hours if your DD was in the bottom of her group, and not the top? Like I said before, I am very surprised that the coaches are allowing your DD to continue on team with no evidence that your DD is willing to increase hours. Our gym has over 100+ rec girls signup to tryout for our team every year though, so we expect team members to fully commit. I guess your gym must be more relaxed.

I suspect that parents aren't really jealous of your DD, but resentful that she is getting special treatment that would not be available to girls with less natural talent.

Imagine a different sport, like soccer. Say the team practices twice per week, and then has one game. Would it be okay for a superstar kid to attend 1/2 the practices and then expect to play every game? Of course not. NO coach would allow that, regardless of the talent. The lesson for the soccer player to learn is that if you want the privileges of being on team, you put in the hours.

The reason that your post rubs so many the wrong way is that many of us (team parents) are trying to teach our kids that the privilege of TEAM means you will have to sacrifice sleep, parties, and other activities, even at 7 years old. Being on team means that you have to give 100%, even if you are the most naturally talented in the group. Being on team means that you are willing to be a team player, even if awards are given to individuals.

There have been many threads on CB about hard work vs. talent. The consensus seems to be that hard work beats talent, nearly every single time, and coaches would rather have a girl with average talent who works hard, than a natural talent who doesn't. And yes, I consider "hard work" to mean one who shows up to practice and works, even when it is hard.

 

[suebee]

I'm not an experienced gym parent so perhaps my views will not be given lot of credibility, but I'm surprised by the strong reaction of disapproval for the OP. I've seen many threads here where children are taken out of school early on a regular basis for gym and skip school on occasion for meets, which generally seems to be acceptable here. Those decisions are often backed by saying that their gymmies are great students so it isn't a big deal. Using the logic in this thread, it seems that schools should never allow this, as it shows lack of commitment and sacrifice to getting a good education, regardless of that child's individual needs and desires. I guess it makes gymmies special snowflakes and other school kids must think it is so unfair that gymmies miss some school, so they should be treated like every other student and these types of absences should never be allowed by the school without some significant negative consequence.

Every kid has unique needs and different ways to meet those needs. If OP's kid can get the training she needs on a reduced schedule, good for her! It sounds like at least this year, it's worked out for OP's kid and the gym.

But it sounds like there are some issues for next year. The coach doesn't seem to be on board with your suggested plan of repeating level 3 and I think several a of the posts here suggest why. I hope you and the gym can work something out that suits everyone.

 

[LJL07]

I'm not an experienced gym parent so perhaps my views will not be given lot of credibility, but I'm surprised by the strong reaction of disapproval for the OP. I've seen many threads here where children are taken out of school early on a regular basis for gym and skip school on occasion for meets, which generally seems to be acceptable here. Those decisions are often backed by saying that their gymmies are great students so it isn't a big deal. Using the logic in this thread, it seems that schools should never allow this, as it shows lack of commitment and sacrifice to getting a good education, regardless of that child's individual needs and desires. I guess it makes gymmies special snowflakes and other school kids must think it is so unfair that gymmies miss some school, so they should be treated like every other student and these types of absences should never be allowed by the school without some significant negative consequence.

Every kid has unique needs and different ways to meet those needs. If OP's kid can get the training she needs on a reduced schedule, good for her! It sounds like at least this year, it's worked out for OP's kid and the gym.

But it sounds like there are some issues for next year. The coach doesn't seem to be on board with your suggested plan of repeating level 3 and I think several a of the posts here suggest why. I hope you and the gym can work something out that suits everyone.

Valid point about the schooling. I don't think it's quite the same, as the kids still do all the required work even on modified school schedule. And it's usually upper level kids, no? And the schools will work around other children in the same predicament if necessary, so it's not one child getting unique treatment that others in the same situation wouldn't get.

Since I am one of the ones with a strong reaction, I will say that the OP's first post set me off more than it should have. I don't want to be getting home late at night either. We are all very exhausted! We have to eat dinner in the car some nights. And then the smugness of an upper level parent making assumptions about my personal experiences made me defensive, and I remembered why I dislike message boards so much. My sister was a level 8 before switching to competitive cheer in high school, and my parents didn't sit around talking about their gymnastics problems or whatever and how foolish, naive level 4 parents just have no clue. It's true that they wouldn't have noticed who was doing what at level 8, but at level 4 (old), which is what my sister started as, they would have noticed a child consistently skipping half of practice time and been annoyed. And my sister most certainly went to all the required practices barring illness. My parents were big on seeing commitments through, so maybe another reason why I got so up in arms. Another thing dad used to say was "don't argue principle," so I should just throw in the towel and forget this. .

 

[happychaos]

I'm not an experienced gym parent so perhaps my views will not be given lot of credibility, but I'm surprised by the strong reaction of disapproval for the OP. I've seen many threads here where children are taken out of school early on a regular basis for gym and skip school on occasion for meets, which generally seems to be acceptable here. Those decisions are often backed by saying that their gymmies are great students so it isn't a big deal. Using the logic in this thread, it seems that schools should never allow this, as it shows lack of commitment and sacrifice to getting a good education, regardless of that child's individual needs and desires. I guess it makes gymmies special snowflakes and other school kids must think it is so unfair that gymmies miss some school, so they should be treated like every other student and these types of absences should never be allowed by the school without some significant negative consequence.

Every kid has unique needs and different ways to meet those needs. If OP's kid can get the training she needs on a reduced schedule, good for her! It sounds like at least this year, it's worked out for OP's kid and the gym.

But it sounds like there are some issues for next year. The coach doesn't seem to be on board with your suggested plan of repeating level 3 and I think several a of the posts here suggest why. I hope you and the gym can work something out that suits everyone.

Totally different. Missed schoolwork has to be made up. If my DD missed a few hours of school for a meet, she would have to find another time to do the work she missed. For my DD, math homework is probably totally unnecessary. My DD could ace her math tests without completing the prerequisite homework, but she still has to do it. My DD, her teacher, and I all know that DD doesn't need to do the homework to master the concepts, however she is still graded on it. I can't imagine asking the teacher if DD can just skip the homework from now on because she is just so smart she doesn't need it. That would not go over well, and would be totally unfair to the other students.

Second, most questions about missing school are something along the lines of missing school for a meet a few times per season, or is it okay to pick my kid up 30 minutes early 3 times per week. My DD is in school just under 40 hours per week. Even if she missed 5 hours per week, that would be a very small percentage of the actual time she was an school. Not nearly 1/2 !!!!! And like I said, the work has to be made up.

 

[suebee]

The homework and work may have to be done, but the missed instructional time is not made up, right? Your child either figures it out on her own or with a parent's help, but misses the instructional time in school. Poor students are likely to struggle with this, but good students probably will not.

From what the OP posts, missing out on gym time doesn't seem to affect her gymmie's acquiring the needed skills, just as for many gymmies who miss school, missing school doesn't seem to affect their overall education.

I think that all kids are different and have different needs. I think in an optimal situation, we can try to work within the system (whether school or gym) to meet our children's needs. If this can be done without asking for more or directly affecting other kids, then I think flexibility is overall good. I agree that it would be a different situation if the OP's daughter could not keep up with reduced hours and as a result slowed down the rest of the team, etc. But it sounds like here the OP's daughter's team keeps on going with their normal practices and OP is either there or not.

 

[Midwestmommy]

One point being a little bit missed here is that a 7 year old's motivations are hugely intertwined with the adults in their lives, and much of what 7 year olds do is done to please the adults in their lives. It's just part of the human development process.

. That's why it's hard to look at a 7 year old and have any clue how motivated they will be as a high level athlete as they mature and separate from their parent's wants and biases. 7 year olds in the gym over 10 hours a week are there because the adults in their lives are telling them to be there.

My daughter would be super motivated and pumped to eat ice cream for every lunch and dinner, that doesn't mean I'm not only going to say yes, but also buy her an ice cream making machine and ask her to make a batch 3 days a week. And maybe buy her an ice cream truck to sell it from after school.

Because of the nature of this sport we adults encourage huge hours in tough workouts at really young ages. We need to be cognizant of what we are doing. 80 to 90 percent of them will eventually drop out of the sport. A talented 7 year old who is not ready to be in the gym for more than six or nine hours a week should not be written off from JO track. But they and their parents need to find coaches who are a good fit, and the kid should only work on skills it is safe for them to be doing.

 

[LJL07]

The homework and work may have to be done, but the missed instructional time is not made up, right? Your child either figures it out on her own or with a parent's help, but misses the instructional time in school. Poor students are likely to struggle with this, but good students probably will not.

What? No. The kids still have to do the same work, be presented with the same information, and receive grades etc. In theory, a poor student would have to get additional academic supports in place to make sure he or she is getting "the missed instructional time." This may not always happen, but that is a whole new can of worms that isn't really relevant to this discussion.

 

[suebee]

What? No. The kids still have to do the same work, be presented with the same information, and receive grades etc. In theory, a poor student would have to get additional academic supports in place to make sure he or she is getting "the missed instructional time." This may not always happen, but that is a whole new can of worms that isn't really relevant to this discussion.

I think you misunderstood. What I meant was when a gymmie misses school, the actual school time she misses (class time, or instructional time) is not made up. She doesn't meet with the teacher later for the instruction she missed. She is responsible for what was taught during this time and the work that was assigned would still need to be done, but a gymmie, if a strong student, can do this is work even without the instructional time. A poor student may have a lot more difficultly doing school work without the instructional class time and as a result the same task (doing the work or homework taught during missed class time) may be much more difficult for her.

 

[gymgal]

A poor student may have a lot more difficultly doing school work without the instructional class time and as a result the same task (doing the work or homework taught during missed class time) may be much more difficult for her.

but any parent willing to put her poorly performing student in this situation would be not acting in the child's best interest. But all of this is irrelevant because we are usually talking about only the last 20-30 minutes of school, where very little instructional time is taking place. It is usually finishing up on work and preparing for release. And as chaos mentioned, we are talking about a miniscule percentage if the day compared to missing almost half of the gym hours the OP was talking about. That time can't be made up unless the child is doing privates. And yes, she is keeping up now but at some point it will affect her if mom continues to push for deceased hours.

As I said before, OP presented a very different picture in the first post than in subsequent posts. There are some good reasons for doing what she did, as long as the coaches were on board, and she understand the consequences of her decisions. I personally don't think is a fairness issue. I saw it as a disservice to her daughter's future in gymnastics. And I am willing to bet that at least some of the parents in her gym are viewing it the same way I did, not out of jealousy but out of "why would she do this, knowing the consequences?" It may not be the right reaction without knowing all of the details, but we often make assumptions based on only the available info.

 

[txgymfan]

This is all part of the age old question. Is gymnastics an individual sport or a team sport? Should coaches cater to the needs of individuals or teams? Where is the line between obligation to your child's gymnastics individually and where is the obligation to their team?

Clearly in this case the coaches are allowing individualism beyond what many ( but not all) would consider reasonable . On another long thread the coaches are on the other extreme, putting the needs of the team above the welfare of the child. Even the thread on JO nationals is along this line. Should the best individuals be at Nats or should the best of each region ( regions representing the team in this case) ?

I see gymnastics similar to a track team or a swim team where the sport is both individual and team based and the balance between the two is unique to each gym and situation. I don't have answers. I can see both sides but I do think this is part of the reason the discussion has gotten so heated.

 

[2G1B]

None of my 3 elementary ages kids would be practicing until 9:00. Especially since we then have a 30+ minute drive home. At this point 8:30 is my max. I think it is ki d of crazy to even suggest that a 7 year old be at practice that late.

 

[Natasha]

This has become an interesting thread and one of the reasons I find this message board so fascinating. Our opinions are all influenced by our experiences. Because my experience with my dd just starting out on team was at a gym with very low hours, parents were trying to figure out how to get more gym time for their girls, not ever less time. (In fact 1/2 the L5 team left to go to a different gym to get more hours.) Before reading this thread, it never would have even crossed my mind to think of a girl "getting" to come less as special treatment. I have always only thought of "special treatment" as getting extra coaching, more time, free privates, etc...
I guess if my kid just starting out on team was complaining that another kid was "getting" to miss practice, that would be a red flag to me that either my kid isn't into this as much as I am or that there is something in the gym structure that is not a good fit (like 9pm practices for a 6 year old!!) As far as teaching kids what it means to commit to a team, it is a rare 6 or 7 year old who is just starting out that understands what all that entails- it is the parents committing for them, not the kids.
It is sad that there are little 6 and 7 year old wanting to try brownies or whatever (or just want more sleep!) and can't because their parents have committed them to 9 or 12 hour practices because the parents feel like they don't have any other choice if they want their kid to be on team.