For Parents More then scared for her first meet?

[Jenn's Jam]

So recently I asked my DD if she was excited about her first meet (Coming up in December) this is her first year not just doing team but doing gymnastics in general. If you haven't seen my thread about how her coach is making her stop doing her harder skills although he said form had nothing to do with it.. (RO BHS BLO, Giants, BHS, Sukes, Made her stop vaulting at 120 and moved her to 105..) so I think she was still pretty disappointed that she was going to have to compete Xcel Gold instead of Platinum.

She responded with "Yeah" but she had the tone of her voice that was like No I'm not, this is hard to explain haha. I asked her and said Are you sure. You can talk to me if you are nervous. She got teary-eyed and said that she is beyond nervous for her first meet and she is excited about it but she is extremely nervous. Then she went on and said

"My coaches and teammates are all expecting so much from me and most of them have been competing for at least 2 years and I'm scared I won't be good enough and my coach won't be proud and I won't be able to compete for platinum next year... And what if I don't score out at the first meet of silver? He will for sure not trust me after that with competing for gold.." It made my heart sink I felt horrible for her seeing her so upset I didn't say much after to not stress her out even more I just said... They aren't gonna be disappointed in you, no one is. then we hugged it out and such but any advice? Just any advice at all?

DD is 11, turning 12 in about a week and a half maybe all this stress could be caused by hormones and such or she could really just be scared.

 

[LindyHopper]

For those of you who've heard this spiel from me before, scroll on past...

This advice may not help until closer to the meet, but here goes!

When I would teach public speaking classes, people would always say being nervous was the worst part of speaking in public.

I would ask them how they physically felt when they were nervous. Rapid heartbeat, sweaty palms, butterflies in stomach were all things that were mentioned.

Then I would ask them to think of a time they were really excited: prom, wedding, vacation, birth of a child. What physical sensations did they feel then? Many of them were the same.

I would point out that nervousness and excitement are two sides of the same coin. The body experiences them the same way. Nervous is a negative emotion, and excitement is a positive one.

Tell her to tell herself that she isn't nervous, she's just REALLY excited. Fake it till ya make it.

As I said recently Short Stack (11) now calls it nervcited.

As for the other fears, just let her know that she's newer to the sport, and that's okay. Let her know that no matter what happens you think she's awesome and will support her as her biggest cheerleader.

 

[John]

Good advice above.

For some kids they just have to experience that first meet and see how they feel. My DD doesn't like many people and we enrolled her in gymnasyics to gain confidence. She has grown huge amounts of confidence in 5 years.

Before the first competition she was very nervous prior to the start. Once the competition started and the routine of competition started she was fine. She has never been nervous since. We say she still see Faries and Unicorns and just communicates and facilitates with teammates. She is the go to to calm you down as she is kind of a goof. Some of her old teammates, 13, used to be so nervous they would throw up.

Take away is encourage and explain what you beliefs are on the purpose of competition. Get her to the first one knowing she is ready and I bet 4 hours later she cant wait for her second one.

 

[gymbeam]

Remind her that her coaches know her history and they know gymnastics. Because of that, they will completely understand anything that happens. They wouldn't be putting her out there if they didn't think she was ready.

 

[ldw4mlo]

Time and experience. She had to do it and get through it.

General nerves and upset we do worse case what if around here.

So you don't get an A? What happens.
She shrugs.
Any one die? No.... you get beat? No..... grounded for life?... No.
And so we go

Gym, you mess up? Coach gonna beat you? No.... will it be your last meet??! No..... Anyone die?.. no

Give her time and perspective, Experience will come.....

Remind her she has 2 months till December. She will move up December, January, February etc... it will happen.

And on meet day.... it's I love you, I love watching you do gymnastics. Do your best and have fun...

 

[Mamabear123]

Any one die? No.... you get beat? No..... grounded for life?... No.
And so we go

Gym, you mess up? Coach gonna beat you? No.... will it be your last meet??! No..... Anyone die?.. no

I always ask my kids if anyone will die. Or if they will be beaten. Lol. Always puts things in perspective for them.
OP, also remind your DD that if she doesn't score out of silver, there will be another chance.

 

[LGnyc]

For those of you who've heard this spiel from me before, scroll on past...

This advice may not help until closer to the meet, but here goes!

When I would teach public speaking classes, people would always say being nervous was the worst part of speaking in public.

I would ask them how they physically felt when they were nervous. Rapid heartbeat, sweaty palms, butterflies in stomach were all things that were mentioned.

Then I would ask them to think of a time they were really excited: prom, wedding, vacation, birth of a child. What physical sensations did they feel then? Many of them were the same.

I would point out that nervousness and excitement are two sides of the same coin. The body experiences them the same way. Nervous is a negative emotion, and excitement is a positive one.

Tell her to tell herself that she isn't nervous, she's just REALLY excited. Fake it till ya make it.

As I said recently Short Stack (11) now calls it nervcited.

As for the other fears, just let her know that she's newer to the sport, and that's okay. Let her know that no matter what happens you think she's awesome and will support her as her biggest cheerleader.

I can't tell you how much I love this advice. I have used the link between nervous and excited for my DD but the notion of the term and converting it seems like something she could really respond to. Because OP, first meet or 10th, for some girls it never really changes. Good luck to her. And impress upon her that you are blown away by her NO MATTER how she does. You're so proud of how she has progressed, how hard she works, and how she's putting herself out there. You will love her intensely with a 7 or a 9.