WAG Am I wrong to do this?

[juliasmom]

She takes a dance class one day a week. We don't have a ballet school.

 

[gymmomx2]

Do you have a videos of her routines? Perhaps the coaches/members here can provide some feedback.

 

[LJL07]

I don't know where OP lives or what her daughter's gym is like, but I travel to some very rural areas for work. If you live in a typical suburban part of the U.S., it is very difficult to imagine how limited the resources are in some of these places, and not just for kids' sports. The idea of the passionate athlete persevering against all odds is a romanticized one, and that athlete still needs a coach who is committed to and capable of coaching at the athlete's level even if facilities, practice time, and opportunities for competition are limited.

Yes, it's hard to really convey that across a message board. We also live in an area where gym choices are extremely limited. Frankly, there are no good gyms (by the standards on CB) within driving distance and no programs with many optional level gymnasts, let alone level 10's. It's really hard for people to understand that. I don't see how this child could continue growing as a gymnast under these circumstances. It will just get more and more frustrating, and this gym doesn't seem very motivated to support their gymnasts, even the ones with talent.

 

[Ali'sMom]

He doesn't allow the team to do privates at another gym. If she is caught doing this she will be dismissed from the team. Also, I found that other gyms aren't open to it.

Can you do a couple of privates with her own coach? Maybe one on one he could actually give her some direction?

Like one poster said "it's ONE point", there's got to be a way...

Or, find out just how hard she's willing to work to score out. Maybe she's decided she's done, and she's letting the score-out decide for her?

 

[munchkin3]

If your DD goals are to do 1 meet at level 6, with her own music etc., then I think you should meet with the coach and demand than he help your DD achieve this. Its the LEAST he could do after all the effort your DD has put in, and all the $ you have paid.
This way she can move on to tennis, or whatever else, with 100% clear mind, and happy.

 

[SurpriseGymMom]

I feel for you. To say that the current gym/coaching situation is "less than ideal" is the understatement of the day....
However, (and this is coming from a mom of 2 girls ages 13 and 10) if she won't watch YouTube videos or make any effort in any way on her own to improve her score, then she really doesn't want it that much. Given the situation at hand, it's NOT going to change and get better unless SHE does something about it. I would strongly discourage anyone from teaching themselves gymnastics over YouTube BUT I would absolutely have her check out the routine videos to see if there are text errors she is making where she could pick up a few extra tenths here and there!
If her low scores are because she cannot actually perform the skills, then it's a totally different discussion though. If her form and the dance parts in each routine are correct and she gets the majority of her faults due to the skills being either not performed or performed incorrectly, she can't do a whole lot about that since she doesn't at this point have a qualified coach to help her...
I'm going to go out on a limb and ask if you think her absolute reluctance to try to help herself improve has anything to do with her being afraid that even with finding out how to improve on text errors/dance, she still might not make it..? Right now, she's "not making it" because of someone else. If she has the tools to correct things and still doesn't make it, then it will be all on her, KWIM?

Either way, I really would stress to her that if this is important to her (as she claims it is) then SHE needs to take steps to improve it. She is the only one who can.
I don't blame you for not wanting to "waste" money in this situation, and would think that going to open gym for fun and love of the sport would be just as productive as the current "coaching". A good, solid experience in an involved sport is never a bad thing or wasted money regardless of what level one reaches, but she doesn't need this coach as that is not what he is providing.

 

[rosettasmom]

On top of all the current issues I would also be concerned with a coach who is not present while coaching. It sounds like a truly unsafe environment.

 

[MaryA]

If my kid wants to play the piano, but the only piano teacher in town only teaches beginner students and is little more than a beginner herself, and the only piano in town is out of tune and the Bb key doesn't play, but there is a good guitar teacher in town, and good guitars to be had... well, when my kid starts to reach the upper limits of what that piano teacher can teach her and that Bb key starts to become more important... I think I would "Strongly Encourage" (that's parent-speak for "make") my kid to switch to the guitar, knowing that what she learned about music from that piano teacher is going to help her become a better guitar player. It's a shame that there wasn't a better piano teacher and better pianos to be had, but that's life. Ultimately the guitar is likely to bring her more pleasure, just because of her ability to continue to learn and move forward, than continuing at the piano under the very limited circumstances.

 

[COz]

If my kid wants to play the piano, but the only piano teacher in town only teaches beginner students and is little more than a beginner herself, ...

Especially when that piano teacher only ever taught from the side of the room where she was doing her ironing.

 

[mimi]

I don't think it is wrong to "strongly encourage" her to explore other avenues but I wouldn't place the responsibility on her by giving her the ultimatum because the coaching and program limitations are out of her reach. That being said if she is happy doing gymnastics I would probably leave it alone. Unless she is just as jazzed about doing the other activity I'm not sure if it is fair to ask her to give up something she loves. Now if she is frustrated by her lack of progression that is another story. I would have a conversation with her about what she wants to do and if she can't decide let her do both for a while if it is possible. I'm sure soon after that she will gravitate toward one or the other.

 

[rjb123]

I totally understand where you are coming from, but tbh, based on what you have described, I think you are asking your DD to build an airplane with a model airplane kit. You can't build the real thing unless you have the proper tools and equipment. It sounds like she is just left by the coach to "figure it out" and based on what I know of gymnastics so far (DD just finished L5 and competing 6 in a few weeks) that is not possible. Goodness, if it was, WE could be coaches (and that makes me nauseated to even think of it! LOL!) I would talk with the coach and pin him or her down- lay out expectations for both maybe. Your DD will put in the work, but you want your money's worth too- an actual plan from them on how they will help her reach this goal. One that includes more than just shouting across the gym while he works with cheerleaders! good luck!!!

 

[GYM0M]

I agree, for the $$ you've already put in, the coach should make an effort to help your daughter 'end' her gymnastics journey on a positive note, if that's what she wants.

 

[teksquad]

Based on how the class is described, I too think the bottom line is that it isn't safe to continue. The tennis program sounds like the best bet, especially because there is attentive coaching. Can she compete in tennis with the program she is in?

 

[juliasmom]

She can compete in tennis, and she can possibly play on the JV team at school next year. My husband thinks that we should go the tennis route. Tennis is a sport that she can play forever if she chooses.