Parents Any advice greatly appreciated

[Gymmom567]

Hello All,

This is my first time posting and I am seeking advice, especially from coaches. I'm sorry if this is really long!

My daughter (age 9) just finished her first year of competing as a Level 3. Her state championship meet was almost two weeks ago. She was thrilled with how it went. She earned personal bests in each event and was so proud that she put in her best performances of the year at the biggest meet. She arrived back at her gym for the first practice after states energized and excited to get back to work and try new skills. She left confused and deflated because she was completely blindsided by what happened there: The coach had decided to divide the Level 3's into two different training groups. One group will get to train new skills and try to advance to Level 4 and one group will remain Level 3 with no opportunity to even train Level 4 skills. My daughter is in the latter group with the girls who did not qualify for states. The girls that she trained with all season are in the other group. My husband and I were given no advance warning or explanation. The coach did inform the parents of the girls who were selected for the more advanced group ahead of time. We were told nothing, so there was no way for us to try and prepare our daughter for what was coming.

My daughter is not the strongest and not the weakest on her team. Her state scores were exactly in the middle of her team. She was making slow and steady progress throughout the season until she injured her hand which set her back for about a month. Despite that, she worked her way back and still did well at states. She has a weak vault, but her other three events are solid. She is a sweet girl with a great work ethic and attitude. She is always on time and rarely misses practice. She loves gymnastics, but now for the first time in her life, does not want to go. I can't say I blame her. Her team has not even started summer training and her coach has already decided who he is giving a chance to even try to advance. My daughter is facing another full year of the exact same skills.

My daughter's coach said he decided who to give a chance to train higher skills based on "his gut." I can't tell my daughter that she is in the group she's in because the coach sees something in the other girls that he doesn't see in her.

So, coaches, parents, should I be looking for a new gym or a new sport for my child? I feel in "my gut" that I can't keep her where she is now after the way the coach handled this decision. However, I don't know if I want to put her through shopping around for another gym if she just doesn't have a future in the sport. Coaches, is it possible this is her coach's way of "weeding" my daughter off the team? If yes, it's working--she is really discouraged and my heart aches for her. Thank you in advance for reading this far and any advice you can offer!

 

[munchkin3]

I know it is very hard to deal with these disappointments especially for your daughter. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it will be the first of MANY because that is how gymnastics is.....
I suggest teaching your daughter to get through this. Be positive, work hard, and show the coaches she is ready to move OUT of level 3. Tell her to be focus on being the best in the group and show them she needs more challenge. No coach would leave a kid in a lower group just because. If she loves it, then she should continue doing it.
Leaving a gym is a very hard decision, and should not be taken lightly. You should first exhaust every avenue.
At the end of the day, how these problems are solved is what teaches children life lessons. You don't want to move gyms because she didn't get moved up.....
Hang in there.... I know it is hard. My dd missed a move up, was super upset, worked very hard, and moved up 2 weeks ago.....now it's a whole OTHER set of issues!!! LOL

 

[LizzieLac]

A very similar thing happened to my DD a few years ago as well. The difference was there was still uptraining for the "repeat" group, and that is what I think you should get clarified. Just because the coach might want these girls to repeat level 3 next year does NOT mean they shouldn't have uptraining. That is just stupid, IMO. Sure, they may still need the focus to be on level 3 skills because maybe coach sees some weaknesses, up there should always be some form of uptraining. There should also be a solid focus on conditioning, which will help all of them in the long run.

So, maybe you should have a conversation to better understand what is going to happen in training. You and DD might feel more comfortable with the training group.

As for repeating a level, it happens ALL of the time. Kids just have to look at it as an opportunity to improve and try to impress the coaches. Often, things "even out" in the end. ;-)

 

[Gymmom567]

Thank you for the replies! Just to clarify, the coach said that the girls in my daughter's group will not be allowed to even try to train level 4 skills. I asked him. They do not do any up training. If you are a Level 3 you train only Level 3 skills. Only the girls in the other group are being given a chance to try to advance. The coach has already decided that my daughter is repeating Level 3. I would not have a problem with that if she was training Level 4 skills. That is what is so discouraging: She is facing another year of the exact same skills. I watched practice yesterday and the two groups are very clearly divided in a very "in your face" way. My daughter's group is doing very basic work with the youngest, least proficient coach. The other girls are already training harder skills with the more experienced coach, the head coach, and the Level 4 coach. It's like a caste system. There is no way for my daughter to work harder and show the coaches that she is ready to move up or even try to move up. It's already been decided.

 

[gymmomof1]

In what I have seen with my Dd uptraining is important and from what I can tell in Dds gym all get a chance to try and if you get the skills you move up if not you repeat. Even then you may repeat due to form issues or mental black in an area. It's a complex support for sure. If I was in your place I would look at other gyms in your area to see if one would be a better fit. Doesn't hurt to look. Then see what Dd thinks about her options. She knows her goals and what she wants to accomplish. Never is easy in gymnastics but wish you and your dd the best

 

[UnoMas]

I'm sorry this happened! I have been in similar circumstances before...is it possible that they are keeping your DD in L3 because they want to make sure to have some high scorers in that level? To boost the team score? This happens sometimes....
Sometimes repeating can be a great thing but I know the thought of another year with training the old skills is less than appealing.

 

[IreneKa]

I would look at other options.
I agree with those who said that there's nothing wrong with repeating a level, but there has to be a valid reason for that. Like if she didn't get the skills in time for the season. Or they want her to have a successful season, but then they should be uptraining for the next level at the same time. To make a girl practice the same set of skills for another year just because of a "gut feeling"? I definitely wouldn't be okay with that.

 

[CoachTodd]

unfortunately there are far too many coaches that base their training on scores instead of the individual kid. It makes it far easier to coach when you have a specific group of kids that you can teach all using the same method of teaching. As a parent and a coach i completely disagree with this. You will hear something like "we want them to feel successful" That translates into "we want them to score high so we look good as coaches"
I can understand not moving up in level right away especially depending on the level. I don't understand that they don't even train the skills unless they are in a hand picked select few.

 

[Amber]

I'm sure the way it was handled felt like a punch in the gut. My question is: do you watch DD practice? It's possible they had an evaluation for Level 4 skills and she was just too far away. In our gym, I have seen "middle of the pack" girl repeat Level 3, and when I asked the coach why, he said, because they won't be able to make it over the vault table, and it's a safety concern.

The lack of up training is ridiculous. I am not for repeating Level 3 unless the child is scoring near last at every meet. What do you get from another year of Level 3? A strong back handspring and a great mill circle. Whoop de do. Better to repeat Level 4...much more skills.

I think you need to get more details from the coach. A "gut feeling" isn't going to cut it. I hope it works out.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

I know it is very hard to deal with these disappointments especially for your daughter. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it will be the first of MANY because that is how gymnastics is.....
I suggest teaching your daughter to get through this. Be positive, work hard, and show the coaches she is ready to move OUT of level 3. Tell her to be focus on being the best in the group and show them she needs more challenge. No coach would leave a kid in a lower group just because. If she loves it, then she should continue doing it.
Leaving a gym is a very hard decision, and should not be taken lightly. You should first exhaust every avenue.
At the end of the day, how these problems are solved is what teaches children life lessons. You don't want to move gyms because she didn't get moved up.....
Hang in there.... I know it is hard. My dd missed a move up, was super upset, worked very hard, and moved up 2 weeks ago.....now it's a whole OTHER set of issues!!! LOL

me thinks that MidwestCoach needs to read THIS.

 

[Moxiegrl83]

I'm sorry for you and your daughter, that is rough. :-( I know the Level 3's we have repeating are because they do not have kips. But even though they are repeating, and even our new Level 3's who just got moved up, are training Level 4 skills. You are always going to have a variety of skill level in each group, so a good coach can take a couple kids who are more advanced on one event, and keep them interested and progressing. I can't say whether you should change gyms or not, but if there is really NO up-training at all, that would be a red flag to me, and I know it would drive my child batty.

 

[Gymmom567]

I know it is very hard to deal with these disappointments especially for your daughter. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it will be the first of MANY because that is how gymnastics is.....
I suggest teaching your daughter to get through this. Be positive, work hard, and show the coaches she is ready to move OUT of level 3. Tell her to be focus on being the best in the group and show them she needs more challenge. No coach would leave a kid in a lower group just because. If she loves it, then she should continue doing it.
Leaving a gym is a very hard decision, and should not be taken lightly. You should first exhaust every avenue.
At the end of the day, how these problems are solved is what teaches children life lessons. You don't want to move gyms because she didn't get moved up.....
Hang in there.... I know it is hard. My dd missed a move up, was super upset, worked very hard, and moved up 2 weeks ago.....now it's a whole OTHER set of issues!!! LOL

Thank you, this is great advice, but trust me I know all about the ups and downs of gymnastics! My older daughter is also a gymnast and we have been through it all with her! I am also firmly in the "let the coach do the coaching" camp.

One of the reasons I like gymnastics is that it teaches perseverance, resilience, and how to deal with disappointment with grace. Today, I have new respect for my younger daughter because of the way she has maintained her composure during the last few practices. When I dropped her off yesterday I told her to be strong and confident, do her best, and listen to her coach.

I think it's because I've weathered the storm before that I sense this latest chapter is different. The way the coach made his decision and only told some of the parents is a red flag to me. I don't understand why he didn't give us the heads up so we could have explained to our daughter, "Look, this is what is happening...." I can't emphasize enough how jarring it was for her to arrive at practice and have the rug pulled out from under her. It really rattled her and could have been avoided. The coach's behavior has made me question his judgement. That's one of the reason's I'm thinking about looking elsewhere.

 

[txgymfan]

I would schedule a conversation privately with the Head Coach. Write your bullet points down and discusses the situation calmly. If you don't get a satisfactory resolution then seriously consider other gyms.

 

[gracyomalley]

I simply don't understand coaches deciding at states what level a child will compete in 9 months (or maybe in the fall if your team does 2 seasons...) I certainly realize that coaches will have a GOOD IDEA of which kids are likely to be ready and which will likely need to repeat...but a flat out decision yeah or nay leaves kids with little to work for. Training the same level a second year without option of up-training is a waste of a child's work and a parents money....BUT uptraining comes in many forms....

9 is not young for level 3 and I would hope a coach would want a girl that age to have the chance to train as hard as she could and see if she could get to a level that would lead to more progressive skills by middle school.

All that being said, one would hope that if your DD does work hard and listen well to corrections and have a good attitude that it will lead to a change of heart. I know there was one year that DD was in the "likely to repeat" group - and had to pull herself out of that group by shear will and work ethic - but she did and was allowed to move up mid-year after showing she was truely ready. I also know that DS 9 left regionals middle of the pack Level 5 and was initially placed in the repeaters group - and when he saw that his friends were tracked to try to move up he asked to add another day of gym (he asked his coach) and asked for the chance to TRY to advance. Since then (3 weeks) he's been more focused and hard working than in 2 years....still working with the 5/6 group and gaining new skills. He may or may not make it - but he's learned that his attitude makes a huge difference!

We are in a smaller state and there are no huge gyms around. There are many disadvantages to this, believe me...but one advantage is that each kid/family is seen as a "client" and coaches generally have the child's best interests in mind...

Repeating to correct form, resolve fears, gain confidence, and for safety reasons can be a very positive thing for gymnasts - but Level 3 is really quite basic....and I'm not trying to be insulting just honest...sure as someone mentionned the vault table can be a safety issue - that's why coaches generally spot FHS vaults in practices for years prior to having kids compete them...and even sometimes the first time or 2 in meets...and most kids don't learn their kip without months to years of training it....

Sounds like you know much of this already - I hope your DD can put a positive spin on this and that it will encourage her to work harder and shine - rather than quit. In the long run, this may show her how much she really loves gym....

 

[vagymmomma]

I think a conversation with the coach is a good idea. At a minimum it will tell the coach that your gymnast wants to progress and I think that is a positive. Some gyms just don't seem to value uptraining at the lower levels and I think that's a huge shame. Another option may be privates if your gym does them. It would Allow focus on needed skills and/or uptraining some.

 

[bogwoppit]

If she never gets to train other skills she will just get bored and quit. One of the greatest joys to my girls in the gym were the days that they worked new stuff or stuff for the next level or just fun stuff.

Working L3 skills and routines only for the next nine months is not cool at all. If there is not going to be any work on anything but that then I would just leave, after confirming this is true. Regardless of whether your DD is ready for L4 she should be working on other things besides L3 skills. That is how gymnastics should work.

At 9 she is not a young in the sport and there is no reason whey she cannot be expected to progress to L4 in the next 9 months.

Also splitting the group that way and having them train side by side is a little cruel t me.

What are your gym options?

 

[Gymmom567]

I simply don't understand coaches deciding at states what level a child will compete in 9 months (or maybe in the fall if your team does 2 seasons...) I certainly realize that coaches will have a GOOD IDEA of which kids are likely to be ready and which will likely need to repeat...but a flat out decision yeah or nay leaves kids with little to work for. Training the same level a second year without option of up-training is a waste of a child's work and a parents money....BUT uptraining comes in many forms....

9 is not young for level 3 and I would hope a coach would want a girl that age to have the chance to train as hard as she could and see if she could get to a level that would lead to more progressive skills by middle school.

All that being said, one would hope that if your DD does work hard and listen well to corrections and have a good attitude that it will lead to a change of heart. I know there was one year that DD was in the "likely to repeat" group - and had to pull herself out of that group by shear will and work ethic - but she did and was allowed to move up mid-year after showing she was truely ready. I also know that DS 9 left regionals middle of the pack Level 5 and was initially placed in the repeaters group - and when he saw that his friends were tracked to try to move up he asked to add another day of gym (he asked his coach) and asked for the chance to TRY to advance. Since then (3 weeks) he's been more focused and hard working than in 2 years....still working with the 5/6 group and gaining new skills. He may or may not make it - but he's learned that his attitude makes a huge difference!

We are in a smaller state and there are no huge gyms around. There are many disadvantages to this, believe me...but one advantage is that each kid/family is seen as a "client" and coaches generally have the child's best interests in mind...

Repeating to correct form, resolve fears, gain confidence, and for safety reasons can be a very positive thing for gymnasts - but Level 3 is really quite basic....and I'm not trying to be insulting just honest...sure as someone mentionned the vault table can be a safety issue - that's why coaches generally spot FHS vaults in practices for years prior to having kids compete them...and even sometimes the first time or 2 in meets...and most kids don't learn their kip without months to years of training it....

Sounds like you know much of this already - I hope your DD can put a positive spin on this and that it will encourage her to work harder and shine - rather than quit. In the long run, this may show her how much she really loves gym....

Yes, I forget to mention that her age is also a factor. She is actually nine and a half, so she'd be competing as a ten year old next year. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, but I have the same concern you expressed about how far she could progress by middle school.

Unfortunately, it isn't a option to train more days or do private lessons, as some have suggested. I honestly don't know what she can do to show the coach's she is ready to move up given the very basic stuff they have her group doing right now: e.g. round offs on the tumble track. I also don't know how to tell her to work harder. She always works hard. Her work ethic is one of her assets.

I want to thank everyone so much for your thoughtful replies! It has given me so much perspective and really helped me to clarify my thinking. I cannot reply to everyone's points, but I am reading them all and taking them in. Thank you!

 

[bogwoppit]

I really do not think private lessons are the answer. She needs to be with coaches who want her to be her very best as an individual. Working harder is not always the answer, working smarter is, but that is for the coaches to direct.

 

[raenndrops]

Our gym is not the most "progressive," but after the season is over, "nobody is a level" is the motto until it is time to get serious again. Everyone is in"clubs" to focus on skills they want to get. (Of course, the girls choosing to compete at YMCA Nationals have to run routines once a week.) We have things like Kip Club, Big Vault Club, BHS on Beam Club, Front Tuck Club, etc. We have girls that had one year of level 3 that are training front tucks (they go through the proper progressions in all clubs to prepare them AND they pick at least 1 club on each event). The only girls that are strictly working on L3 skills are the girls that JUST moved onto team... and that makes sense. There is one girl in this group that is actually also working L4 skills because she was INVITED to team 2 years ago and trained some, but left before the season started - she had 99% of the skills for the level. If she can get the L4 skills, she will move up mid-season.

I am with those that would suggest that you look into other gyms if she is not going to be allowed to do any uptraining!

 

[JMACAZ]

We were in a similar situation. We did a gym change and it was a great decision. My DD ultimately moved to XCEL but would have been able to train for L4 at the new gym if she chose. She was also 9 turning 10 at the time.