you are paying for your child to learn how to do gymnastics in a safe way and in a safe environment. and unless you were a former gymnast, you wouldn't know if either of those were taking place.
herein is the conundrum. i understand perfectly. how do you know who is coaching your child?
relationships and trust are time valued. they will be developed over a period of time. the overwhelming majority of the people that run our industry are concerned about the same things that you are. why? Cause most of us are parents. 2% of any activity, and this includes society, have bad people. this does not mean you give yourself an ulcer over that 2%. though you have the freedom to do so if you so choose.
USA Gymnastics is the most pro active organization of all of them. And so are the coaches and administrators that work in the clubs. simply read the Athlete Welfare Policy. and after all is done to protect the kids, you are still left with the 2%. BUT, at least we have a system in place to put "sick dogs" down. would we like that we could catch or pre-empt the bad stuff before it happens? certainly we would. but there is no way to predict bad behavior.
the first line of defense in protecting a child is the parent. this means constant vigilance thru communication with your child. a parent can't be everywhere. a parent can't watch every single practice of any activity that their child participates in. a parent can not go to school each day and sit in every class with every teacher. THAT kind of vigilance is NOT healthy for your child on any level.
i have been at this longer than most, and longer than any of you have been married. and quite possibly longer than any of you parents have been on the planet. and i know this, when something bad happens, MOST kids will come and tell their parents. and in a gym setting? there are just too many "eyes". and today's kids are more sophisticated than they were even 10 years ago. without going in to the reasons why there are those bad people on the bad list, suffice, the bad behaviors were learned by the parents whose children came straight to them and reported what happened. in some of those, the kids went straight to the club owners and other coaches. you all need to understand this, our industry has a NO TOLERANCE POLICY for bad stuff. does this mean that stuff won't happen? no, of course not. some of these issues are biblical. but mark my words, if something bad does happen, USA Gymnastics and their industry member will do something about it.
try to understand my position. i have been listening to these kinds of issues since i was a gymnast. and i have learned that most of the bad stuff that has happened has happened in gyms that have "viewing". and all the time. bad stuff has happened right in full view of everybody. so then, "viewing" will not mitigate your concerns. and bad stuff that has happened in gyms are very rare. you understand, rare? it's the small stuff. the insidious stuff. the stuff you can't readily see.
it's the other small stuff. and discretion and vigilance must be applied. things like letting coaches drive your kids to and from practice. does this mean don't let it happen? NO. sometimes it's necessary. but only an idiot doesn't know that if that adult is sick, that the child can be at risk for something bad happening. and sleepovers at coaches houses. and coaches having your child's cell phone number. or email. or facebook contact. it's about grooming.
do you all understand? it's not about whether you watch your child's practice or not and thinking that if you do your children are protected. or if not, that if something happens it's your fault somehow for not being there. the facts are...if something bad is going to happen to your child, it will happen at the hands of a close and trusted family member. next will be teachers and coaches and clergy, etc; these are the facts.
so then, you are the parent. if you want to drive yourself nuts worrying about all these things you are free to do so. we chose not to when i and my wife raised our children in to adulthood. when our children did sports, we wanted them to own what they were doing. success or failure theirs. we provided the support and encouragement they needed for the rough spots. but the responsibility of their outcomes were on them. they had nobody to blame or give credit to but themselves.
and this DOES NOT mean that we were naive/absent parents in regards to all these issues that you all bring up. we were there. we listened. and we had discussions about these very things. and very often if my wife or i felt that who are children were with were questionable. again, constant vigilance and communication. but we did NOT observe every single thing that our children did. and we slept fine at night. and so did our children.
so it often seems to me that it is you, the parent, having the right to watch if you want and not being told that you can't. and more often than not, because you are paying. i regret that these concepts are illogical to me. and this does not make me stupid. the concepts are foreign to me because i know that none of your thoughts about "viewing" will mitigate aberrant behavior on the part of another adult.
therefore, the clubs have the viewing policies that they do to actually protect the kids emotional well being while at practice. and club owners know that the 1 day a week for 1 hour student will be the one whose parents are more crazy about these kinds of things. there is NOTHING that any of us in the industry will ever be able to do about that. it is what it is and has been that way since the beginning of private gym clubs. but after years of your children being in a gym, and they become competitive and so forth, if you still can't trust the people that your gymnast is with then i don't know what i or anyone else could ever say to alleviate your fears. but in most gyms, with most coaches, your fears are unreasonable and unwarranted, and may i submit that you may need to look in the mirror and get a hold of yourselves. i just can't imagine ever having lived and raised my kids feeling the way some of you do. to me it is irrational, illogical and gives me a headache thinking about how some of you are so paranoid. i just could never imagine living that way. no disrespect intended. i love you all. and that's all.
