Parents Anyone else not allowed to watch?

[cbifoja]

and i completely get what you are saying also. but in our industry, and without defensive posture, those that have been at this awhile have seen our share of parents that have quite literally ruined their child's gymnastics future. and mostly because they lived "vicariously" thru their children. and most had parents that never amounted too much in sports.

I understand this and think that maybe this is why the Universe didn't give me the Ballerina Baby I always dreamed of. Because I would have been living vicariously through her in dance. But she's safe with gym! It was never my dream so she's free to succeed at her own pace. I actually just went through the whole "this is your window to quit if it is too much" discussion since meet fees are due on the first of September.

 

[wallflower]

Being a parent is a difficult task, because your first response is to correct a child based on mistakes that you have made during your lifetime, "honey don't do that because..." . Now imagine coaches who have "been there seen that", watching you as a parent making mistakes much like your children do in your eyes.... That's it! we have seen the damage that parents unknowingly do to kids, and we are only trying to help you. And it always turns into a battle, but in my opinion, excessive parental viewing is not healthy for gymnasts, its just factual..... (and that includes all the parents who are just sitting in the back and not looking and being silent...). Increased fear issues, increased anxiety, increased risk of burnout, increased risk of injury, increased risk of distractions, increased risk of bad information,,,, and nothing positive....
Just imagine having your wife or husband sitting and watching you work for hours on end, (because they say that they just don't have the time or money to drive home during your shift).... It has no benefit and you will probably be divorced in a year...

I agree with a lot of what you are saying , but not being able to go home due to time and fuel costs is a REAL issue. Some coaches don't realize the sacrifices parents make to keep our kids in this sport. Not only could I not afford to drive home and then back again, I wouldn't even want to. I make a lot of sacrifices to let DD do gym at her gym and I am not adding another 3 hours a day of driving to that list. The gym is at least an hour drive on a good traffic day, but we must allow 1.5 to get there. Then getting back at that time? Forget it! You are looking at 2 hours in downtown rush hour traffic. Oh did I mention its over 100 degrees outside? So yeah, no thanks to that one. I've already worked all day and driven through it once.

Lucky for me we now have a carpool going where I only have to pick up 3 days a week and then take and stay 1 day. But that hasn't always been the case.

I agree its unhealthy to watch a lot. One day a week is good for me. But I often find at DD's gym some of the craziest people are those that don't ever watch. They have no idea what their kids act like. They have no idea what they really can and can't do. They are the parents storming in demanding why Susie wasn't moved up because Susie can do this and this and she has this better than everyone else. When in reality Susie can do none of the above and Susie cheats on conditioning and rolls her eyes at the coach.

So watching a little here and there gives the parents a little perspective sometimes. Those of us that aren't crazy can clearly see that our little Susie needs a lot more work on certain things. So we already see the writing on the wall and won't be shocked and angry when we find out they are repeating a level. If fact we may even be hoping for it! Because honestly if I listened to my DD's version of what she can and can't do I would think she is doing level 10 this year.

 

[Gymdaddio]

and i completely get what you are saying also. but in our industry, and without defensive posture, those that have been at this awhile have seen our share of parents that have quite literally ruined their child's gymnastics future. and mostly because they lived "vicariously" thru their children. and most had parents that never amounted too much in sports. and most weren't coaches on even a volunteer level cause they didn't do sports. and ALL of them were never satisfied and couldn't find ONE nice word to say to their children.

giggle, giggle, giggle. Oh the carnage! Helicopters crashing everywhere.

 

[LilHawkMom]

I would not have my children go to any sport/activity that did not allow parents to watch. Please explain how a normal parent (non crazy gym parent) would ruin the child's career if allowed to watch and the parent is following the gym's guidelines for proper viewing?

It sounds like some think the child's sport (any sport/dance etc) is only between the coach and the child and doesn't include the parents except to pay the bills and just follow the coach. I think the parents are an important part and should not be cut out but included.

Money is a HUGE issue for my family and why I stay at the gym. My son is on scholarship at the gym and we still struggle. I can't go shop or eat out. We live an hour and fifteen minutes from the gym. Now after several years of doing this I have come up with some free places I can go because I do get sick of watching the pommel horse ;-) Even though I have found some free places close by to go, I still watch at least once a week.

Here is the nearby places I go while my son is at the gym for parents who might want some ideas:
We have a hospital next door to the gym and they have free wifi! So I sit in the waiting area and play on my computer or read.
Local library free wifi and reading
A park on nice days
I am glad I have the choice to stay and leave when I want.

It was stated "most kids tell" but how does one know for certain that their child is in the "most" group? And WHEN is the "TELL"--the first time, the second time, the 10th time? Most do not tell when it first happens but only after many times, which could be months or years later after more damage is done.

 

[happychaos]

well folks, i have no idea why i keep getting an internal error message. so, you'll have to read happychaos post and then read below. quoting in the quote ain't working today.

1. i did not say to assume ANYTHING. i said that MOST kids tell their parents. this MEANS that most kids tell their parents about bad stuff vs. the percentage of kids that don't. IN GYMNASTICS, most kids come forward to report abuse. and because of our (industry) stance, my hope in the future is that there will be less to report. and again, you don't know what job i have in the day. not my coaching/gym job.

2. i certainly did not say what you are saying here. i said, the statistics (that come from child abuse experts) say that it will be a close family member first. and then you added the word "trusted". those 2 words are synonymous in my book. then coaches, teachers and clergy. and not in any specific order. you want to dispute or debate that? and those statistics mirror what the experts say which have happened in my own family on both sides and extended

3. you really convoluted this one. and i used an example. the TV special on a very famous gym. when US GYM PEOPLE watched it we laughed. when YOU watched it, meaning the general non gymnastics public, we were skewered in the media and in the public eye. they used the words "emotional" and "physical" and "verbal" abuse. THERE WAS NONE.
so i guess if i agree with you, parents need special skills to discern what is and what has been healthy gymnastics culture for years AND CAN STILL BE INTERPRETED AS ABUSE BY PEOPLE LIKE YOURSELVES IN THE GENERAL NON GYMNASTICS PUBLIC THAT DON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

okay, now. stop it because we are almost saying the same thing.

oh, and my advice was that parents should be vigilant in their communication with their children daily. and my advice was what NOT to do with coaches. like car rides, sleepovers, etc; i guess i should have thrown in others, but hell, i assumed that the adults here would know what CONTEXT i was talking about.

FINALLY, i don't think you will be blacklisted. you have not offended me in any way. it's unfortunate only several posters understood the context of what i was saying. and i tried to keep it PG cause there are kids here. and i have a ton more i could say but won't cause kids read here. but even my read between the lines posts are understood by the kids. and i think they'll take away from my posts (past and present) and understand to "tell someone" if something bad happens.

Dunno, you just made the statement "IN GYMNASTICS, most kids come forward to report abuse.", and I have a huge issue with this. You just said that in your last post, and I am not taking it out of context. Gymnastic kids are no more likely to report abuse than soccer kids, ballet kids, or basketball kids. It is a dangerous attitude to cling to, and I pray your gymnasts do not suffer as a result of this misguided idea.

Dunno- MOST CHILDREN ARE NOT ABUSED BY A FAMILY MEMBER!!!!! I will post actual statistics in a bit.

I am truly sorry that your family has had abuse by a family member. But, I would caution you to not extrapolate your experiences to everyone else. There are many families where the abuse happens only at the hands of a coach, teacher, etc. Also, please don't assume you know the extent of abuse that all 40 plus members of your family have experienced. You may have the closest, tightest knit family in the world, and still not be aware of what has happened to someone. Many, MANY adults who were abused as children choose not to tell even their closest family members (sometimes not even their spouse) for a variety of reasons. Never assume anything.


I'm glad that USAG has a zero tolerance policy, and I'm glad you are proud of that. But really, what organization that deals with children DOESN'T have a zero tolerance policy?!?! Think about it. Sure USAG blacklists bad guys and makes sure they are never hired again. That is a good start. But as a parent (or a gym owner) I would absolutely not trust that USAG was protecting my kid.

I wasn't commenting about a video, so I have no idea why you are criticizing me for that. Sometimes your ideas are a bit hard to understand due to punctuation issues, but are you honestly saying that
"parents need special skills to discern what is and what has been healthy gymnastics culture for years AND CAN STILL BE INTERPRETED AS ABUSE BY PEOPLE LIKE YOURSELVES IN THE GENERAL NON GYMNASTICS PUBLIC THAT DON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE." ????? I hope I have misunderstood what you said there.

As a parent, I am the NUMBER ONE person who is qualified to judge if my child is in a "healthy gymnastics culture". What passed as "healthy" a generation ago, may not pass the test today. PARENTS decide what is healthy for their kids, not coaches.

 

[skschlag]

This is from dosomething.org
90 percent of child sexual abuse victims know the perpetrator in some way. 68 percent are abused by a family member.

From the state Department of Public Welfare:
About 81 percent of the substantiated 3,365 sexual assaults on children statewide in 2009 were committed by parents, family members or someone living in the child's home, the report found. Another 16 percent of the sexual assaults were committed by baby sitters.

Of the 1,647 physical abuses reported statewide, parents were the abuser 66 percent of the time, with 558 reports of abuse by the mother and 529 reports of abuse by the father.

No, I feel like this has gotten really off topic, but wanted to share that. As a parent, I know that there is NOTHING I can do to completely protect my child except to educate them. I cannot be there all the time, or recognize who is or isn't an abuser. It is my job to have a relationship with my child that promotes trust and understanding, and for me to teach them what all of this means. I am not with him at school, gym, church, etc all the time. I also have to trust my gut in deciding where he will be for these things.

I had a parent question one time when my son got 500 pushups. I was completely fine with it. He needed it. It was a preventative thing. IT was not not done in an abusive manner, or an angry manner. It just was what it was. And my son has never put his hands down when falling on a bhs again. LOL.

I think both sides have valid points. I think the "NO WATCHING AT ALL" rule encourages parents to question things. I think having open viewing promotes trust amongst gym and parents. ANd I think parents leaving promotes trust between parent and coach. Without that trust, what is the point? I dont' want to watch, or stay, or be there. I do have a life. But some times it is necessary. I stay in teh background, reading, working, etc. often in a room that no one can see. But I would not like it if watching were forbidden.

 

[happychaos]

i said, the statistics (that come from child abuse experts) say that it will be a close family member first. .

Here are the stats I promised you.... If these don't make you want to vomit, I don't know what will. Dunno, please appreciate that I have no desire to attack you personally, I simply can't sit by while these things are being said by a trusted coach on a message board that many will read. It is not personal. I couldn't live with the thought of a child being harmed because I said nothing, when I had the chance to correct misinformation.


Child Sexual Abuse Statistics
Evidence suggests:

• As many as 1 in 4 girls is and one in 6 boys will be sexually abused before age 18.
• Over 90% of sexual offenders are someone the child knows and trusts – a parent or other relative, teacher, camp counselor, babysitter, or family friend
• 30 – 40% are abused by a family member.
• One out of every seven victims of child sexual abuse is age five or younger.
• Forty percent of the offenders who victimized children under age 6 were juveniles (under the age of 18).
• Only one in ten children who are abused will ever tell anyone.

For more statistics see:
Link Removed
Link Removed
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From Child Safe

 

[Deleted member 15064]

There is a difference between parents extracurricular activity involvement today & parents 30 years ago when I was a kid. I don't think that is a surprise to anyone.

I was part of a competitive sport that practiced 4-5 days a week. No parent stayed & watched. 25 girls. No one stayed. There was no rule excluding them that I know of. There had to be a variety of parenting styles represented. Yet zero moms or dads hung out on the bleachers in the gym.

Virtually all of the parents went to games. Many of them were involved in the booster club. We all felt hugely supported by our families in this particular activity.

Yet it would have been odd and uncomfortable to me as a child to have parents at practices. My parents, or other parents. Regardless of the reasons - and certainly the "I'm paying good money for this" would have been one of the more puzzling arguments offered.

It was my activity. Allowed, approved, encouraged & supported by my parents. But it was mine. It never occurred to me that my mom or dad would get something out of watching me learning & practicing my chosen craft.

In one generation, we've changed that perspective drastically. In the past 17 years of my parenting I have not gone to one thing my children have been involved in - sports, singing, dance, drama, instrument - without encountering parents who stay & watch or listen to practice/instruction.

Is it an improvement on parenting? Time will tell I guess. But I can't deny that this increased parental involvement & access stands out to me everywhere I go.

 

[littlegirlsdream]

I understand parents can be a huge distraction and I have seen it at times, they will distract their own gymnast, other gymnasts and the coaches. It is not safe and doesnt offer an oppertunity for the gymmie and coach to establish a working relationship and trust, it can be underminding to a coach and effect the level of trust the child has in the coach.

On the other hand I have experienced a gym that had unsafe practices, unfair coaching practices (as in some gymnasts are coached while others are ignored) and almost zero communitcation with some parents while partying it up with others. Then to make matters worse some parents will follow the no watch rule while others are very vocal that they will not be following that rule and in the face of the coaches and gymnasts, teach the lesson that the rules dont apply to them. Guess what, they dont. Those parents remain and are never asked to leave and pretty well believe they run the show and in turn so do their gymnasts. Not suprisingly these are the parents that do all the distracting, yelling, coaching from the side lines.

The gym my daughter goes to does not care if you watch, well at least there isnt a policy in place to negate it. No one really does watch though, not for any length of time anyway. The gymnasts are good, they are coached, conditioned and trained in a way that leaves very little to question and if there is an issue the coach will let you know. Bottom line, I trust my daughter and I trust her coahes and I know they are in charge during gym and so does she and every other parent and gymnast in there. I perfer that enviornment as does DD.

It would appear that when the coaches makes it well known they are running things and if thats not for you there is the door and then back that up with good parent communication when appropriate, along with excellent results then there really isnt a need to make a no veiwing practice rule.

 

[wandrewsjr]

Wow, so much stuff. I totally get the "I stay at my child's practice because I live REALLY far away". (Though I think LilHAwkmom has some amazingly creative alternatives how to spend your time) And I also totally get the "I stay at my child's practice because I love watching her do gymnastics." Because gymnastics IS awesome and your child IS awesome. (Though I think all parents should rethink whether the enjoyment you receive from watching is worth it if it is distracting or diminishing to your child's training)

But I just don't get, and don't think I ever will, the "I stay at my child's practice to prevent them from being a victim of abuse". I just can't imagine living that way. I can't imagine living each day with that kind of fear.

I can remember, many years ago, dropping my 6 year old off for the first day of first grade. I handed her off to a teacher I had never even met before that day. And I left my kid there, for SEVEN HOURS! With a complete stranger! And that teacher closed the door behind him/her, and was alone in that room with all those kids! Man, was I an irresponsible parent

 

[Deleted member D3987]

Here are the stats I promised you.... If these don't make you want to vomit, I don't know what will. Dunno, please appreciate that I have no desire to attack you personally, I simply can't sit by while these things are being said by a trusted coach on a message board that many will read. It is not personal. I couldn't live with the thought of a child being harmed because I said nothing, when I had the chance to correct misinformation.


Child Sexual Abuse Statistics
Evidence suggests:

• As many as 1 in 4 girls is and one in 6 boys will be sexually abused before age 18.
• Over 90% of sexual offenders are someone the child knows and trusts – a parent or other relative, teacher, camp counselor, babysitter, or family friend
• 30 – 40% are abused by a family member.
• One out of every seven victims of child sexual abuse is age five or younger.
• Forty percent of the offenders who victimized children under age 6 were juveniles (under the age of 18).
• Only one in ten children who are abused will ever tell anyone.

For more statistics see:
Link Removed
Link Removed
Link Removed

From Child Safe

this from the same site you have posted D2Light:

FACT: Child sexual abuse often takes place under specific, often surprising circumstances. It is helpful to know these circumstances because it allows for the development of strategies to avoid child sexual abuse.

• 81% of child sexual abuse incidents for all ages occur in one-perpetrator/one-child circumstances. 6-11 year old children are most likely (23%) to be abused in multi-victim circumstances (Snyder, 2000).
• Most sexual abuse of children occurs in a residence, typically that of the victim or perpetrator. 84% of sexual victimization of children under age 12 occurs in a residence. Even older children are most likely to be assaulted in a residence. 71% of sexual assaults on children age 12-17 occur in a residence (Snyder, 2000).
• Sexual assaults on children are most likely to occur at 8 a.m., noon and 3-4 p.m. For older children, ages 12-17, there is also a peak in assaults in the late evening hours (Snyder, 2000).
• 1 in 7 incidents of sexual assault perpetrated by juveniles occur on school days in the after-school hours between 3 and 7 p.m., with a peak from 3 – 4 pm (Snyder, 2000).

i told you that we are saying near the same thing. you want to believe that most kids don't tell. in gymnastics, we know that they do come forward. there is nothing we can do about those that don't and for whatever reason.

and the statistics show why i give a plausible defense for my industry and its coaches. go to your gym and observe if you would like. my point is that if abuse is your concern, the focus needs to be in many other places other than gymnastics clubs.

and to use your language, this is not to minimize the infinitesimal and remote chance that something bad could take place at a gym.

and you seem to forget that i am a dad and a husband. i'm not just a coach. it seems to me that your opinions are in the vacuum of the world you once worked in which can jade you. my opinions are from experience and the world in which i live. my world and the industry i work in is made up of some of the best professionals i have ever had the pleasure to know.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

i promise i'm done beating the dead horse...

 

[happychaos]

. you want to believe that most kids don't tell. in gymnastics, we know that they do come forward. there is nothing we can do about those that don't and for whatever reason.

Good golly, Dunno. I simply cannot post on this thread anymore. You need to STOP saying "in gymnastics, we know that they do come forward". Please, please stop saying it!!! Don't you understand the reasons why you need to stop with this?!?!?! You are a coach, a gym owner, and someone who is entrusted with the care of children!!!!

Dunno, the attitudes and beliefs you have about this subject are the EXACT reason that many children DON'T tell. And this is the reason that the problem will continue. Children and families will not "tell" someone who has a know-it-all, dismissive attitude.

Please also know that as long as there are people like you who assume "there is nothing we can do about those that don't (tell) and for whatever reason." nothing will change. THERE ARE THINGS THAT YOU CAN DO TO ENCOURAGE CHILDREN TO TELL!!!!!

There are several online training courses that you can take if you would like to be further educated on these issues. My DD's school is requiring that every parent that volunteers at the school (which is pretty much every.single.parent.) complete online or in-person training. I suspect that this will be come more common in the coming years. Gym owners who are concerned about these issues could consider offering/requiring this type of training for your coaches.

I simply cannot spend anymore time on this.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

Those parents remain and are never asked to leave and pretty well believe they run the show and in turn so do their gymnasts. Not suprisingly these are the parents that do all the distracting, yelling, coaching from the side lines.
========
They will be gone soon enough,,, "Mommy/daddy my tummy hurts I don't want to go to gym". "Mommy my coaches and team mates are mean, I don't want to go to gym". "Mommy I am losing my skills, Balking", "Mommy my ankle hurts", "Mommy my back hurts", (thousands of dollars later in Dr bills and negative MRI results), "Mommy I don't want to go to gym anymore"... I have seen that DOZENS of times... So just keep watching because
"no one is going to tell me if I can watch or not" (me me me)
"I don't have anything to do" (Really? go to 24hr fitness for a few hours)
"I have to protect my child" (by endangering them?)
"I have to make sure my child is treated fairly" (by watching over them, babying them, being so close that you are actually listening to make sure, or worse yet complaining when your child is reprimanded)
"I have to make sure they are getting the right corrections" (you have no clue if they are or aren't, because you don't know, and if you think you know, you are most likely wrong... )
and now a hint of.... "they might get molested if I am not there"... (well it appears that your child is most likely to get molested at home, because I haven't seen a statistic that says, 30 - 40 percent of kids are molested in Gymnastics class... )
Notice all the "I don'ts" and "I haves", with the common letter "I" ? Bottom line is some parents just want attention, yep... Some parents are ultra controlling.... Some parents are living vicariously through the child. And some parents just don't want to be home with their spouses.... So good luck, when your DD wants to quit, or you go overboard and do something stupid to both belittle and embarrass your child at gym, spare us the thread here... But hey what do us coaches know....

 

[skschlag]

Coach P-
I find your post a little condescending towards parents. Yes, there are CGP out there, but not all of us are like that. I can't afford a 24 hour fitness pass. It gets too hot to work out outside, but when it is nice, I do. It costs me an additional 50-75 dollars a month to drive home and back. I DO NOT typically watch my child. I DO NOT hover to make sure he is being treated fairly. I DO NOT coach him at all. I am there solely due to finances. And i am sorry you do not understand that. it isn't where I prefer to spend my time. DO I sometimes get to see him do something new..sure, and that is nice. But I do not do any of the things you are referring to. And to lump all parents into the same category is condescending and wrong.

I think you ahve probably seen a lot of that. I was a coach (of another sport) for years, adn I know the what you are referring to. But just becuase I am AT the gym does not mean that any of this other stuff is going on.

 

[cbifoja]

T Bottom line is some parents just want attention, yep... Some parents are ultra controlling.... Some parents are living vicariously through the child. And some parents just don't want to be home with their spouses.... So good luck, when your DD wants to quit, or you go overboard and do something stupid to both belittle and embarrass your child at gym, spare us the thread here... But hey what do us coaches know....

WOW!!! Assume much???? Since at least part of your post was directed toward my statement, let me assure that I don't NEED attention. I have people's attention all day long. At any hour of the day, I have the average of 60 eyeballs all on me. I don't seek out attention at all because quite honestly, I really prefer not to have attention. It embarrasses me to receive awards and recognition because I don't really feel comfortable having people heap praise on me.

And being ultra controlling isn't just a trait of "some" parents. Every walk of life, yes CoachP, even coaching, has people who are controlling. It's a human trait, not a trait limited to those of us who watch.

Maybe some people are living vicariously through their child but that doesn't mean all of us who stay are. Personally, I don't care if my child quits, so long as she is active in something. There are much cheaper alternatives to gymnastics and while gym is fun and I've enjoyed learning about it, I can learn about lacrosse, tennis, or any other of the options that are available to kids today. I lead a very fulfilling life and have no need or desire to live through a 9YO who some days drives me crazy.

I know that the "don't watch" mantra is your big thing. I get it. However, I will never agree with you that every person who watches is endangering their child's safety or future in this sport. You have no idea the issues my child has personally and your arguments don't hold water when I compare them to her needs. Your ideals are yours but my child's needs are hers and ultimately, mine.

 

[cbifoja]

Coach P-
I find your post a little condescending towards parents. Yes, there are CGP out there, but not all of us are like that. I can't afford a 24 hour fitness pass. It gets too hot to work out outside, but when it is nice, I do. It costs me an additional 50-75 dollars a month to drive home and back. I DO NOT typically watch my child. I DO NOT hover to make sure he is being treated fairly. I DO NOT coach him at all. I am there solely due to finances. And i am sorry you do not understand that. it isn't where I prefer to spend my time. DO I sometimes get to see him do something new..sure, and that is nice. But I do not do any of the things you are referring to. And to lump all parents into the same category is condescending and wrong.

I think you ahve probably seen a lot of that. I was a coach (of another sport) for years, adn I know the what you are referring to. But just becuase I am AT the gym does not mean that any of this other stuff is going on.

I like this post a lot. I agree that there is a lot of ignoring legitimate reasons for parents to stay. I totally get the "not where I prefer to spend my time". There are days I get sick in my soul when I realize that I'm about to go sit in a lobby for hours. Thank god I have a heavy workload that helps me get through the hours.

I also don't coach my child or interfere with the coaches....and DD's coaches have said some things that I would not choose but DD still loves her coaches and is in love with the sport so hey, it's between them. My DD only comes to me when she has her medical issue or when her coach has given her permission to share a skill with me.

Yes, CGPs exist, but not every CGP watches and not everyone who watches is a CGP.

 

[skschlag]

It is a nauseating feeling when you think about all that you could be getting done at home.......

 

[cbifoja]

Just for another perspective and hopefully to help people understand that there are legitimate reasons to stay......

My daughter has had a medical condition since birth. Her bowels become impacted and then spasm. The result is that she literally soils herself with a feces the consistency of modeling clay. She has been under a doctor's care for this since she was an infant. This means that a couple of times a month, she soils her leotard and because of the consistency, cannot clean herself up without help.

Would you, as a coach, like the job of wiping sticky crap off of one of your gymnast? Would you be willing to leave the coaching floor, take my little girl to the bathroom, and wipe crap out of her crack? Would you like to always keep a stash of leos in your possession? Would you like to have her in your rotation, smelling of poop or spotting her with poop smeared down her thigh because she can't get it all cleaned up by herself?

Or would it be better for my talented child to leave gymnastics all together because of this? Is it better that she be humiliated in front of her peers and teased unmercifully because of this condition? These alternatives are preferable to me sitting in a lobby, not interfering so she can train freely unless she needs me to wipe crap off of her body and to get her a fresh leo? Really? My being there is the greater evil?????

I don't have to be at school because there is a nurse who is aware of this issue. We have the medical documentation required to have her taken care of at school. But I'm at the stable and used to be at the soccer pitch for the same reason. One day, she will be able to clean herself up adequately and then I get some of my life back. But please don't think that I am "babying" her or trying to keep her a little girl. Believe me, I've cleaned a lifetime of feces up at this point.

 

[DND]

I think a CGP will be whether allowed to watch or not even though it may control it and be easier for the child in some regard.

We do not have many gyms in our province so there are parents who cannot afford the time and gas to go back and forth. When I was commuting I used the time to clan the washrooms, lobby etc. (not the gym where the kids are) against my volunteering hours which was great!

I know someone said to me why don't you just go shopping? Well truth be told I am somewhat compulsive and to just go shopping 5 days a week .....we would not have the problem as DD would not be able to do gymnastics.