Parents At a loss...

[trampolinemom]

BUT I am trying to look for ways to help. Hence why i posted this.

I do understand your frustration and the feeling you should "do something about it" Thing is you can't. The only thing you can do is make sure she has eaten, slept and is supported and loved. (oh and yes pay the dollars ;-)) And as time goes by you will realize that these periods of frustration, fear and anxiety are just hurdles that she will overcome.

 

[Flicfliclay]

I can see you emerging from the fog of frustration . She'll be fine, and so will you.

One of the first things I read here (and have read often) was that gymnastics is a marathon, not a sprint. An 8 year old Level 7 is amazing. Maybe she is just slowing her pace a bit for the long haul. She may repeat a level here or there.

I LOVE the life lessons gym teaches. In fact, I often find myself learning from my daughter.

True! I learn them everyday from my children as well as Chalkbucket forum! ha ha! I will emerge from the fog with a new view for sure!

 

[Flicfliclay]

I do understand your frustration and the feeling you should "do something about it" Thing is you can't. The only thing you can do is make sure she has eaten, slept and is supported and loved. (oh and yes pay the dollars ;-)) And as time goes by you will realize that these periods of frustration, fear and anxiety are just hurdles that she will overcome.

Very true! Thank you again Sometimes I wish we did have a parents manual we could reference from time to time

 

[kayjaybe]

The most important things my child learns in gymnastics have NOTHING to do with gymnastics skills.

If this is the first time your child is having mental blocks, I understand the urge to help, especially with a gymmie as young as you have. You are used to helping her navigate things.

The best thing you can do is love her, tell her she WILL get through it, and you are proud of her no matter what.

Encourage her to listen to her coaches and remind her that nobody is upset with her.

My dd is the queen of mental blocks and she always gets through them. After a 1+ year block on her giant, she went on to take 2nd at L8 states this year on bars (and got 5th at states last year as a L7).

 

[Tigtimes]

There are people here who have been fortunate to have achieved a perfect balance of it all - gym, cost, coaching from the start. Nope I am not one of those. I have ridden the crazy bus a few times, have tried to help when I should not and questioned aspects that were best left alone. What I have done though is learned from my mistakes. I have learned to stand back, to go with the flow even when it feels more like things are sinking. You come to understand that for every high there is can be an equally low, low lurking around the corner. Often with young optionals their bodies are ahead of their brains and it can take time for the two aspects to come into sync. Only your kid can make it through these things, it will be a struggle for them many, many times. Be the shoulder to cry on with no judgement, remind them they are not defined by any one skill or moment, find the fun as best you can (which gets harder when it feels more like a job) Your child has reached optionals so quickly, you have not had the benefit of time to get it all straight. Listen to Meetdirector she said it better than I can.

 

[Flicfliclay]

The most important things my child learns in gymnastics have NOTHING to do with gymnastics skills.

If this is the first time your child is having mental blocks, I understand the urge to help, especially with a gymmie as young as you have. You are used to helping her navigate things.

The best thing you can do is love her, tell her she WILL get through it, and you are proud of her no matter what.

Encourage her to listen to her coaches and remind her that nobody is upset with her.

My dd is the queen of mental blocks and she always gets through them. After a 1+ year block on her giant, she went on to take 2nd at L8 states this year on bars (and got 5th at states last year as a L7).

Thank you for not judging me. The reason I posted on her is to get feedback. She is young and yes I'm trying to help navigate her through this wonderful thing we call life. I am human and make mistakes and so is she.

 

[Flicfliclay]

There are people here who have been fortunate to have achieved a perfect balance of it all - gym, cost, coaching from the start. Nope I am not one of those. I have ridden the crazy bus a few times, have tried to help when I should not and questioned aspects that were best left alone. What I have done though is learned from my mistakes. I have learned to stand back, to go with the flow even when it feels more like things are sinking. You come to understand that for every high there is can be an equally low, low lurking around the corner. Often with young optionals their bodies are ahead of their brains and it can take time for the two aspects to come into sync. Only your kid can make it through these things, it will be a struggle for them many, many times. Be the shoulder to cry on with no judgement, remind them they are not defined by any one skill or moment, find the fun as best you can (which gets harder when it feels more like a job) Your child has reached optionals so quickly, you have not had the benefit of time to get it all straight. Listen to Meetdirector she said it better than I can.

Yes, it seems like some have figured it all out! Me not so much! I will get off the crazy bus and get on the support bus. Nice post! Thank you

 

[MeetDirector]

Yes, it seems like some have figured it all out! Me not so much! I will get off the crazy bus and get on the support bus. Nice post! Thank you

You will get it figured out and you have come to the right place to vent about these things. As you can see, we have all been there. A young upper optional gymnast is probably the most difficult situation since they are really still trying to figure out what life is all about and then they have all of this added "stuff". I will tell you, that the road gets even more bumpy from where you are into the future. Being able to trust the coach to "fix" the gymnastics of a talented gymmie is sometimes hard. They have a method and some of the fixes are not overnight fixes.

Hang in there and be the mom that she will always need.

 

[Flicfliclay]

You will get it figured out and you have come to the right place to vent about these things. As you can see, we have all been there. A young upper optional gymnast is probably the most difficult situation since they are really still trying to figure out what life is all about and then they have all of this added "stuff". I will tell you, that the road gets even more bumpy from where you are into the future. Being able to trust the coach to "fix" the gymnastics of a talented gymmie is sometimes hard. They have a method and some of the fixes are not overnight fixes.

Hang in there and be the mom that she will always need.

Bumpier Oh no! Ha ha i hope I can make it through!
I just did the hardest thing about ten minutes ago.. I apologized to her! Wow that was hard and worth the effort! I told her I was proud of her and apologized for being upset with her. Best part is she took my apology and said we will get it worked out! Pretty great coming from an 8 year old.
Again thank you for the encouragement and kindness.

 

[B&M's mom]

Having been there and thankfully coming out of it with my relationship with daughter intact, the best thing I can advise is to keep your mouth shut, swallow all the "words of advice" and know that she will work through this. I did pretty much everything possible wrong when my daughter was having a similar struggle. Then at one meet, everything clicked and she was back on track. Nothing I said or did made it click. And I totally get the money frustration, I think I mentioned that as well to my daughter. Believe me when I say it not a pleasant situation.

So relax, pour yourself a favorite beverage, smile and don't ask about the gym unless she volunteers. She'll be fine and you'll avoid all the frustration.

 

[MeetDirector]

Bumpier Oh no! Ha ha i hope I can make it through!
I just did the hardest thing about ten minutes ago.. I apologized to her! Wow that was hard and worth the effort! I told her I was proud of her and apologized for being upset with her. Best part is she took my apology and said we will get it worked out! Pretty great coming from an 8 year old.
Again thank you for the encouragement and kindness.

Way to go!!! That had to be hard, but I will tell you this - you both have taken a huge step forward in this crazy sport. You just saw one of the "side" benefits of this sport - our girls become wise beyond their years sooner. It is pretty cool, huh?

Congratulate yourself and your daughter; you each deserve it.

 

[MrsAnderson]

It sounds like you've gotten all the advice you need, but I just wanted to commend you on your mature posts! Some people would take serious offense at everyone telling them they handled it wrong, but you have been thankful and gracious. [emoji106]

 

[lovemygymnast]

My dd had a couple of issues last year, wasn't on going but she had a huge growth spurt and I was like ding, ding, ding, vestibular! Of course, I checked with dunno to be certain. The clue was on back tumbling she would say, "I feel like I'm going too fast!".

We say nothing at all, not. One. Word. About gym unless she brings it up. We just say "did you have fun?" And leave it there. If she wants to talk, we encourage her but one thing I would suggest is not adding to the pressure. Keep calm and know it will pass. I know it's frustrating for you but just imagine how frustrated and stressed she is feeling right now! Hope it passes quickly!

 

[LindyHopper]

It sounds like you've gotten all the advice you need, but I just wanted to commend you on your mature posts! Some people would take serious offense at everyone telling them they handled it wrong, but you have been thankful and gracious. [emoji106]

Completely agree!

 

[lovemygymnast]

Bumpier Oh no! Ha ha i hope I can make it through!
I just did the hardest thing about ten minutes ago.. I apologized to her! Wow that was hard and worth the effort! I told her I was proud of her and apologized for being upset with her. Best part is she took my apology and said we will get it worked out! Pretty great coming from an 8 year old.
Again thank you for the encouragement and kindness.

Just saw this after I already posted! So sorry! But yay, perfect!! I'm so proud of you! It's so difficult being a gym parent!! It sounds like you have a talented little gymmie! There may be more of these moments but they don't usually last long. Hope you make it!! I'm pulling for you!! I've been right where you are & it is soooo hard & it is so hard for her too. Good luck!

 

[Tuppy]

This sport is so much a mental game, and she needs you to get through this with her, so hold in there, because you have to be strong enough to do this with her. The best way to support her is not to add pressure with money and other expectations. Tell her how proud you are whether she throws backwards tumbling or not today, but you believe she's got her when she's ready. She's 8. She needs you to believe in her. Get slushies on the way home or some treat that will make you feel better too! I think you both are amazing for working through it together.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Butt out and leave it to her coaches.

What do her coaches say? Do they expect you to do something or do they deal with it?

this

 

[MaryA]

I will hazard a guess that just about every one of the parents here (myself most definitely included) have overstepped the parent-coach boundary (trying to take on a role with our gymnast that is better left to the coaches) and the slim few who haven't have really REALLY wanted to. The people who are posting here are posting from a place of "lessons hard learned" and (hopefully) not from a place of judgement. Thanks for taking it in the spirit it was intended. And unfortunately your path will cross with parents in the gym who NEVER learn this lesson!

 

[Moxiegrl83]

Just breathe. My DD 9 went through the same thing. One day she would not do her back handsprings on beam, and then stopped going backwards at all. She would tumble one day, the next she wouldn't. Some days she's flip if the coach was standing there, other days melt at even the thought of going. Hot mess.

Long story short, when it first started, it took awhile to get over it. The 2nd time, much shorter. The 3rd, 4th, etc. Mostly just a bad day here and then. My DD was 8 when this started getting ready to compete Level 7. Now she's 9, training HOPES, and it's mostly good day. But even now, she still has days where she's off.

You're DD is pretty awesome to be such a young Level 7. Trust her coaches, and leave the rest to her. It's heartbreaking and frustrating to see them struggle and know you can't fix it for her. But this is something she has to figure out. Give her time and she will.

 

[bookworm]

I always remembered something Alicia Sacramone said in one of her interviews about her parents' involvement in her coaching at all and her response was something to the effect that she was greatful that they had maintained their parent roles because when times were rough, she needed her 2 parents and not 2 more coaches...