Parents At a loss...

[dani4]

Bumpier Oh no! Ha ha i hope I can make it through!
I just did the hardest thing about ten minutes ago.. I apologized to her! Wow that was hard and worth the effort! I told her I was proud of her and apologized for being upset with her. Best part is she took my apology and said we will get it worked out! Pretty great coming from an 8 year old.
Again thank you for the encouragement and kindness.

Your daughter sounds mature beyond her years, and sweet. I've enjoyed reading this thread, because you have received very good advice and you seem receptive to it. I'm a little sad that a few people are immediately jumping on the "you are a crazy mom" bus and commenting as if you're not open-minded. I think they haven't read all the responses you have already given, and they are so used to a certain kind of poster who posts a problem and then won't listen to any advice that is contrary to what they think they already know. It's sad when people get into that knee-jerk reaction, try not to take it personally because I don't think it is meant that way. They don't even know you.

 

[Flicfliclay]

Your daughter sounds mature beyond her years, and sweet. I've enjoyed reading this thread, because you have received very good advice and you seem receptive to it. I'm a little sad that a few people are immediately jumping on the "you are a crazy mom" bus and commenting as if you're not open-minded. I think they haven't read all the responses you have already given, and they are so used to a certain kind of poster who posts a problem and then won't listen to any advice that is contrary to what they think they already know. It's sad when people get into that knee-jerk reaction, try not to take it personally because I don't think it is meant that way. They don't even know you.

That mean a lot. Thank you. I just posted exactly how I felt and what I was personally dealing with. I am trying a little bit of what a lot of the posters have recommended. I think that some methods will work for my child and i know some certainly won't. I had a heart to heart with her coach yesterday and think that she can get her through this. She said that my daughter will do anything she asks her to do anything whether it be super difficult or not, that my daughter will do it as long as the coach stands there. She doesn't have to touch her, but the moment she backs completely away my daughter balks. So, I think the coach is going to back things up a little and try new methods. It was nice to hear that the coach thinks my daughter is one of the best tumblers in the entire gym...now we just got to get her confidence up enough that she knows she can do it on her own! Thanks again for your kinds words. Fingers are crossed!

 

[Flicfliclay]

I wondered if that might be the case. Some gyms are more accustomed to having younger optionals. I think the coaches handle things differently based on their experience. Your coaches may be a wee bit excited about having an unusually talented kiddo. In the past, I have seen similar situations where the coaches get overly involved with the parents b/c they are so excited to have a little phenom to work with. Nothing wrong with getting excited, but at gyms where young optionals are more the norm, the parents are not kept "in the loop" as tightly. I"ve seen it happen multiple times. In a couple of cases, these little phenoms transferred to a bigger gym where there were other girls similar age with similar talent. It was healthier for everyone, especially the kids. I'm not suggesting you change gyms. I am merely wondering if some of your involvement (what others have criticized) isn't your fault at all...it's being encouraged by overzealous coaches. If that is the case, it would be helpful for you to understand what is going on. Love this forum by the way. I wouldn't be sane without it!!!

I have never really thought of it that way! You know what it very well could be. It is a smaller gym for sure. When she joined the gym she transferred out of a HUGE gym that had 30 or more girls in each level in different ages.When she started there, there were only about 5 girls in compulsories and has since grown by a few girls. ( there were some coaching changes and a large portion of girls followed the coach to another gym ).We have contemplated moving her to a more well know larger gym
( Makayla Skinner trains/trained there), but we aren't sure she is ready for that change yet. Moving an 8 year old from really the only place she has known is kinda scary. I do think you are correct in thinking that if she was with a larger group of girls her own age things might be totally different! Maybe us parents are too involved in what is going on for sure. By a lot of the posts here, i am going to back away from gymnastics and being involved and let things play out. ( really hard ) but i can do it!!

 

[Flicfliclay]

I'm so sorry you're both going though this! It's so hard to see our kids struggle. You've gotten some great advice here, and like @MrsAnderson said taken the good and bad very well. I can't add too much except the very first time I dealt with this (Puma Jr is 9 and will be doing L5 so not as advanced as yours) was a few months ago and the best thing I did was listen to CB conventional wisdom-totally blow it off. When she told me about it, I just said something like "Don't worry about it, you've done it before, you'll do it again" and changed the subject. I must admit my guts were in a knot, this had NEVER happened before, but I'm so so glad I faked it! It was over in like 2 days. So be strong! You can do it! And now, many months later, I casually brought it up and said that this is so common with gymnasts and I'm kind of glad it happened fairly young because it will probably happen again with something else at some point, and now she knows it's no big deal and she'll get over that too! Remind me of this next time....lol GOOD LUCK!!!

We are going to get through it..I am going to start a new way of thinking and go from there. Thank you!!

 

[Flicfliclay]

I want to thank everyone again for taking time out of your day to help me out. It really does mean a lot to think that strangers that don't know me go out of their way to either share their experiences or give their advice. This certainly is a journey that i don't know much about, but am so happy to feel i have a place to help guide me! Have a wonderful afternoon!

 

[trampolinemom]

How is she been doing the past month? And what about you?

 

[Flicfliclay]

@trampolinemom Thank you for asking!! She has been doing amazing! She has been for awhile now ( thank goodness) she and her coaches worked through her fears and it as if none of it happened. She sets goals for herself every week and I remind her to make sure they are obtainable! ( so she doesn't get frustrated ) Gulp I can't believe competition season begins in two months! I'm eager to watch her and her teammates compete and show off all their hard work! Can all the competitors get 1st place for their hard work and dedication? Lol! Thank you all again kindly for your kind words of encouragement!

 

[Momx3]

An 8 year old level 7 has time on her side to have mental blocks. She is amazing just to have achieved that at her age!

 

[dancingimmie]

I am so thankful for this thread and have read it twice. My did has suddenly become afraid of jumping to the high bar. It's seems so irrational to me, she been doing it for almost two years. Some days she jumps and some days she can't. I'm trying so hard to not get involved and just be Mom but it's so hard to know they are struggling. I don't watch practice, I don't even bring her to and from the gym. Tomorrow I'm going to pick her up for the first time since school started. My dd is so excited to have me there but I'm afraid I'm going to see her struggling.

 

[e'smum]

this is a great post. i need to remember to just parent and not coach. lots of good advice on here! i do think some of the responses to the OP were a bit harsh but still great advice for everyone.

 

[Flicfliclay]

I am so thankful for this thread and have read it twice. My did has suddenly become afraid of jumping to the high bar. It's seems so irrational to me, she been doing it for almost two years. Some days she jumps and some days she can't. I'm trying so hard to not get involved and just be Mom but it's so hard to know they are struggling. I don't watch practice, I don't even bring her to and from the gym. Tomorrow I'm going to pick her up for the first time since school started. My dd is so excited to have me there but I'm afraid I'm going to see her struggling.

It is very hard to see your child struggle! I tell you this parenting thing is not easy. My daughter wanted Level 7 really badly and knew that the only way to get there is to work through her fears. She wrote down encouraging words, songs, thoughts etc. Finally she just snapped out of it. The coaches were a great part of it too, they talked to her and told her they understood her.. so validated her fears... Now going forward she has other mechanisms she can use to help her out of her fear.. The lord knows there will be more to come. Hang in there momma, your daughter will get through it!