WAG Changing Gyms at upper levels

[bookworm]

This is very true and good advice. I'd tell your current coaches you are leaving before taking your daughter to try out. The current coaches almost always find out, especially at the upper levels.

Absolutely not! Keep your mouth shut until you are out of that gym...even though there are "no secrets", you never show your hand until it's a done deal...and not until you are out the door....don't risk them crapping all over your kid by saying you are going elsewhere or even looking...your current gym may show you the door if you tell them ahead of time....you send a polite email after you're done.

 

[Seeker]

Missed the part about number of coaches. Our 9s and 10s are split into 4 groups with a coach for each event. We have a dedicated coach for each event. It would be challenging any other way.

Same for us. Groups are split so that only 4-6 gymnasts are working with one coach at any given time. The level groups are larger, but individual event groups are smaller. Each event has a coach and there are also others that work with the girls on dance, conditioning, flexibility, etc. They manage the large group very well and there is a lot of interaction and little down time.

 

[BachFlyer]

^^same

 

[wallinbl]

This is very true and good advice. I'd tell your current coaches you are leaving before taking your daughter to try out. The current coaches almost always find out, especially at the upper levels.

Why on earth would you do that? You're checking out other gyms, but may not actually leave. If you say you might leave, you risk all sorts of undesirable behavior from the current gym. Might not happen, but why risk it? You might be able to save it by saying "we checked out the other gyms, and yours is definitely better", but there are definitely people that will be insulted/hurt by your even having looked around.

We switched last year, the new gym knew exactly who DD was, knew everything about the gym we were leaving, and said nothing at all to the gym we were leaving while we were checking them out.

 

[3LittleGymmies]

The problem is that they will KNOW whether or not you tell them. BTDT. I would say that your gym not telling your old gym is not the norm.

 

[still hanging]

With a question we would exit prior to trying out new gyms.

 

[bookworm]

The problem is that they will KNOW whether or not you tell them. BTDT. I would say that your gym not telling your old gym is not the norm.

I wouldn't say that...people change gyms for all different reasons and if you have an upper level kid that needs a change, the new gym generally will know what's going on in the old gym like wallinbl said, and will welcome you in...or will say that they are so loyal to their buddy in your old gym and cannot....my experience is that if you have a decent Level 10 gymnast, the gym of your choice will take you...

 

[gymbeam]

i'm in the camp of not discussing it until the decision has been made.

even if the old gym finds out before you decide to inform them you are leaving, i think that would be a better scenario than opening up dialogue during the time you are trying to make a decision. that could get much more uncomfortable and confusing, IMO.

and, even if you decided to stay, i think the relationship would be best served by not ever discussing the fact you thought about leaving and just letting the fact you chose to stay be the only message you send them.

 

[gasrgoose]

Why on earth would you do that? You're checking out other gyms, but may not actually leave. If you say you might leave, you risk all sorts of undesirable behavior from the current gym. Might not happen, but why risk it? You might be able to save it by saying "we checked out the other gyms, and yours is definitely better", but there are definitely people that will be insulted/hurt by your even having looked around.

We switched last year, the new gym knew exactly who DD was, knew everything about the gym we were leaving, and said nothing at all to the gym we were leaving while we were checking them out.

I would do that because that is how we did it and it worked. Our child was thanked for being upfront and honest. I'm simply offering advice. There are many stories of kids who go "test the water" at another gym. When the current gym finds out they kick the kid out of their gym and the decision is made for the kid.

1. Decide if you need a new gym. If you decide you do move to #2
2. Research possible gyms. Discuss with parents, look at scores, do they develop their own kids. Go view a practice without your child.
3. Call possible gyms and set up interview with the coach without the kid.
4. Take the kid for an evaluation and to practice with the team.
5. Send a courtesy email or text to the former coach telling them where you landed and thanking them for their coaching.

Every situation might not allow this process. And if your current gym is going to have "undesirable behavior" then IMO you should have left a long time ago.

This is how we did it and I considered it respectful to the former gym. The gymnastics world is very small, especially at the upper levels. It was very important to us to teach our child an upfront and honest way to handle a very stressful situation to her. Asking your child to be anything but upfront to her current gym will only add stress to her, not to mention any ethical questions.

 

[gasrgoose]

i'm in the camp of not discussing it until the decision has been made.

even if the old gym finds out before you decide to inform them you are leaving, i think that would be a better scenario than opening up dialogue during the time you are trying to make a decision. that could get much more uncomfortable and confusing, IMO.

and, even if you decided to stay, i think the relationship would be best served by not ever discussing the fact you thought about leaving and just letting the fact you chose to stay be the only message you send them.

I agree with this. BUT the difference in my thinking is this. Don't start looking at other gyms until you've decided you are leaving your current gym. You will drive yourself crazy if you are always looking at how other gyms do things. Either your current gym is right for your child or it's not. There are hundreds of variables that help answer that question. But the availability of other gyms should not make that decision for you.

 

[bookworm]

This is how we did it and I considered it respectful to the former gym. The gymnastics world is very small, especially at the upper levels. It was very important to us to teach our child an upfront and honest way to handle a very stressful situation to her. Asking your child to be anything but upfront to her current gym will only add stress to her, not to mention any ethical questions.

And this is what I thought the first time we had to make a move because our original gym had said ,"if we don't have the tools to coach her, then we'll even help you find a gym that does".....well when I informed them that losing all their Level 10 coaches (and not replacing them with anyone but former rec coaches) was a lack of the tools and we would be looking to move to a gym that did, well, all hell broke loose...I had given a 2-3 week notice ( and had already paid for the whole month) but my girls were treated horribly and shunned ("No one is allowed to talk to them bc evidently they're too good for us') so we were out of there the next day....the original gym was willing to help us find another gym in ANOTHER REGION, but not in our region....

So when it had to be done again, the polite thankful email was sent after we had exited....

 

[wallinbl]

The problem is that they will KNOW whether or not you tell them. BTDT. I would say that your gym not telling your old gym is not the norm.

The quality gyms in our area aren't "outing" people for trying out.

There are many stories of kids who go "test the water" at another gym. When the current gym finds out they kick the kid out of their gym and the decision is made for the kid.

And how do you think that kind of gym is going to react when you tell them you're going to try out a new gym? Likely the same way.

We've switched gyms twice. First time, we left a gym that capped out at (old) level 4. They were very gracious, but really, they knew people had to leave because they didn't have the staff, equipment, or building to go higher (the ceiling was so low you couldn't do giants on the high bar). Second time, the gym was not at all gracious. Had we told them we were looking we likely would have been yelled at and shown the door. That would have been an unfortunate situation to be in, having not decided which gym to go to, or even whether we were going to go to a different gym. As you say "the decision is made for the kid".

 

[gymbeam]

I agree with this. BUT the difference in my thinking is this. Don't start looking at other gyms until you've decided you are leaving your current gym. You will drive yourself crazy if you are always looking at how other gyms do things. Either your current gym is right for your child or it's not. There are hundreds of variables that help answer that question. But the availability of other gyms should not make that decision for you.

since this thread is about switching gyms in higher levels, i guess this has some truth to it. by that point, parents and gymnasts have learned enough about coaching styles, training techniques and other gyms in the area to make that decision.

from my perspective , though (a parent of gymnast who just completed her first year and who did not consider or research any other gyms before just enrolling my daughter at the closest gym to our house) i AM actually currently visiting other gyms to help me make the decision of whether or not we should stay or go. hope that makes sense.

 

[gasrgoose]

And this is what I thought the first time we had to make a move because our original gym had said ,"if we don't have the tools to coach her, then we'll even help you find a gym that does".....well when I informed them that losing all their Level 10 coaches (and not replacing them with anyone but former rec coaches) was a lack of the tools and we would be looking to move to a gym that did, well, all hell broke loose...I had given a 2-3 week notice ( and had already paid for the whole month) but my girls were treated horribly and shunned ("No one is allowed to talk to them bc evidently they're too good for us') so we were out of there the next day....the original gym was willing to help us find another gym in ANOTHER REGION, but not in our region....

So when it had to be done again, the polite thankful email was sent after we had exited....

I hear what you are saying. On my list above i should have added between steps 3 & 4 that this is when we tell the coach. AND this is the point of no return in most cases.

Most coaches take it very personally and they should. But it's also a big financial hit, they lose a kid paying @$400/ month and their expenses don't change. It's a stressful situation for all involved.

 

[Gymmonkeymomma]

The quality gyms in our area aren't "outing" people for trying out.

Ditto!

As to # in training group - we have 8 Level 10's in our group.

 

[gasrgoose]

The quality gyms in our area aren't "outing" people for trying out.

My experience has been it usually isn't a coach that spreads the word. It's usually an excited parent (or gossiping parent) who says to another friend "Sally Jones practiced with us today! OMG she's great. It's so awesome she's coming to our gym." And the word spreads quickly.

 

[NYG]

I had my DD switch to another gym just 4 weeks ago. Though not a level 9/10, I will share some of the experience.

The decision to leave isn't easy, and I did quite a bit of research on here reading old threads about gym switches. I tend to agree, that if your thinking of a switch you're probably doing it a year late. It's hard, relationships are formed with parents and coaches and between teamates. For us, we made the decision for DD. It was two fold, one I'm in the military and general I work 50+ hours a week plus deployments, so I didn't get to see her much. It was very frustating to know my child was spending more time with her coach than her father. I'm now at a command where my schedule is very flexible and have the opportunity to have quality time with my kids. Second is when DD verbilized what we were seeing. She would have never asked to leave, she loved her teamates and one of her coaches. But once she said what we were seeing, it became a lot easier to move on. Old gym isn't bad, it's competive at L6 and below, there was some coaching issues with inexperience and nepptitism.

We didn't tell them we were contimplating a switch. It was the right move, and I definitly didn't feel as if we owed it to them to tell them up front. After we decided to make the switch, we sent the HC a polite email and thanked him for what he's done with our DD. After that we were instantly treated differently. We asked if DD could come by before or after practice to say goodbye and we were told no, we are the competition now. At first I didn't really understand the attitude, as they often welcome in gymanst from local competitors with arms wide open. What I learned quickly is, for many, not all, this is a business first and relationships come second. In general, I would say hold back the potential gym change info until you know for sure it's happening. I'm sure there are gyms that accept and understand this as part of the process and others, as mentioned above react in a way of offense or to protect there business.

As far as the affect of the switch on DD. I guess it depends on your DD's personality, but for ours, the hard part is one, losing and forming new relationships with coaches and teamates. That is the hardest part for her. I guess the other part is, this new gym, has longer hours and are much more devoted to a strength and conditioning regiment. So, there is a lot more achey muscles. Fortunatly, one of the coaches there was DD's former coach at the old gym, so a bit different than your situation, but it definitly helps that she knows her abilities.

I can say this from experience, if you make the switch and wait to tell them ***HAVE DD BRING HER GEAR HOME*** after her last practice. After we made the switch, my wife went to the gym to collect DD's gear, and was basically treated as if she was going through the TSA at an airport. Litterally followed, after first being refused to be allow her to collect DD's things. It was very strange.

 

[Midwestmommy]

I agree, I think it's fine to hold back on mentioning it. However, know that you can't be at all confident that they wont know. Coaches talk (especially if they are friends), girls talk, parents talk. Coaches on this board have admitted they give "courtesy calls" (or sometimes fishing for information calls) to some other coaches when kids come to try out. Heck, even all those rec girls and Excel girls across the gym that optional coaches and parents might not notice--many of them go to various schools with team kids, know kids on teams at this gym and other gyms, and they talk too. My daughter goes to school with other team kids from different gyms, is friends with kids at different gyms. They are all intermixed on Instagram... Word can slip out numerous ways...

 

[bookworm]

Speaking of "changing gyms at the upper levels", just saw on line that Lexie Priessman is leaving Cincinatti...confirmed on Facebook by Mary Lee Tracy....

 

[my4buffaloes]

With 1 year left of HS? Where is she going? Crazy! At that point I would think you would just stick it out.