Parents Child in DDs age group passed her out skill & performance wise, coach playing favorites

[RTT2]

Jess's mom needs CB.

 

[Gymmommy2524]

Haha yes I think so! I didn't realise how inappropriate my actions were, CB posters thanks for the honesty. I'll have my new year's resolutions well in place for January.

 

[txgymfan]

Thank you for taking our advice in the spirit that it was intended. There is years of experience here and we’re happy to help and we love to know when it turns out well.

 

[Tigtimes]

Haha yes I think so! I didn't realise how inappropriate my actions were, CB posters thanks for the honesty. I'll have my new year's resolutions well in place for January.

Well honestly reading this thread helps keeps it in perspective for even those of us who have been around awhile. This time of year can be a tough one for me as the atmosphere gets intense and reminders to stay grounded helps .

It is their journey and each journey is an individual one, one that can change as quick as the tides. It is hard not to compare but your child will be happier if you focus on her journey.

 

[RTT2]

Well honestly reading this thread helps keeps it in perspective for even those of us who have been around awhile. This time of year can be a tough one for me as the atmosphere gets intense and reminders to stay grounded helps .

Definitely. This thread has been a great reminder to me about a lot of things that I know logically, but can't always accept emotionally.

 

[Gymmommy2524]

Just wanted to post a quick update & say DD had her competition today, it was a tough one but she came 3rd in the all around & Jess came 2nd.
She's delighted & the top 3 also got bears so she's thrilled! Jess was fantastic today but DD was also brilliant.
I did my best to cheer on & tried not to coach from the sidelines. It was the first time Jess beat dd, she really was brilliant today

 

[Sk8ermaiden]

Congrats to both your DD and Jess. And way to go mom! Keep it up!

 

[Gymmommy2524]

I'll try my best, I've actually seen an improvement in her after my staying away from practices she was thrilled with her results today & delighted to have won a teddy bear, she always wanted one & this particular feis had teddy bears for the top 3 all around

 

[Gymmommy2524]

So anyways thought all was well & so forth, however the clubs social media has only featured the other little girls achievement & none of my dd's. Lots of pics of Jess & group pics with Jess & on her own. Also congratulating her on her 2nd place all around, no mention of my dd's 3rd...
Disappointed but we have to put up, no other gym options around.
I guess they've made it clear who their priority is

 

[GymDadWA]

So anyways thought all was well & so forth, however the clubs social media has only featured the other little girls achievement & none of my dd's. Lots of pics of Jess & group pics with Jess & on her own. Also congratulating her on her 2nd place all around, no mention of my dd's 3rd...
Disappointed but we have to put up, no other gym options around.
I guess they've made it clear who their priority is

Just unsubscribe/unfollow/unfriend all of it. Unless they use it for scheduling will you really be missing anything?

 

[Gymmommy2524]

To be honest I thought my daughter deserved a mention too, they are same level & age group. There was only 0.25 between 2nd (jess) & my daughter who finished 3rd, there was plenty of pics of the two of them but they chose to share just Jess... As hubby said they want to promote their future champ, he thought I was imagining things up until now...

 

[ausnat83]

So anyways thought all was well & so forth, however the clubs social media has only featured the other little girls achievement & none of my dd's. Lots of pics of Jess & group pics with Jess & on her own. Also congratulating her on her 2nd place all around, no mention of my dd's 3rd...
Disappointed but we have to put up, no other gym options around.
I guess they've made it clear who their priority is

Pause.

Your daughter is happy for both yourself and her teammate, but you're still upset and counting social media posts. The fact that you're not happy when your daughter is pleased with her own performance and is being a great teammate is a strong indicator that you've made something that should be about your daughter about you instead.

Focus on your daughter's happiness and on modeling positive behavior for her. We don't need to evaluate performance based off of how well people like us or want us to do well based on social media mentions and likes - we need to focus on our own progress and internal motivations. We don't need to treat others being praised or recognized as a slight on ourselves. I'm sure as a mom you want your daughter to be happy for her teammates' accomplishments and to be proud of herself when she does well without regard to what others do or don't say, right? Embody that.

Not to mention... you're reading too much into this. Perhaps they posted captions to go along with the best photos they had (it's harder than people think to make sure you get usable photos of every athlete at these events). Perhaps they wanted to recognize girls who had their best meets ever. Perhaps the coaches recognize that poor Jess has a crazy mother who is putting ridiculous pressure on her and feel bad for the girl. Perhaps they think she really needs some extra encouragement right now, while your daughter is thriving without public praise. Perhaps they just haven't made it through all the pictures. Maybe they're particularly proud because as coaches, seeing an athlete make big strides in short periods as Jess has is rewarding. Unfollow the accounts if you're going to be upset by something like this.

 

[SMH]

Comparison is the thief of joy. Stop comparing your daughter and ‘Jess’ before you rob her (and you) of all the joy this sport can bring. Just take 10 giant steps back and stop.

 

[2G1B]

Last year, when your DD was beating Jess, did they do the same type of social media posts about your DD? It is possible that your gym just posts their top placer for each level or something like that. Or, maybe Jess is one that they have picked out as a favorite. I do wonder if you were fine with similar treatment towards you kid vs the other kids last year but are upset now that your kid isn't the special one. In the end, you need to just step way, way back. Let things be stop comparing. Just be happy for all of the kids.

 

[Sk8ermaiden]

I guess I'll disagree and say that sucks and I'd be annoyed too. We've been in a gym culture that only cared about the top placer and it was toxic and bad both when my kid was the top placer and when she wasn't. If she wanted to stay in gymnastics and I was willing to let her and there were no other options, I'd do what others said and unplug from the gym's social media.

 

[Jazzjerz]

Oh my goodness. I feel so bad for all the other girls (not your daughter and Jess) in your daughter’s group...That is, if there is actually favoritism going on, and you are not just reading WAY too much in to every little thing.

 

[Gymmommy2524]

To be completely honest my daughter was the social media star up until about a month ago & I guess I am a bit put out that her 3rd place yesterday wasn't even mentioned... There was 23 kids in the comp. There was plenty of pics of both girls together, 2nd & 3rd is a great achievement for the club, 2 podium placers...

 

[2G1B]

What about the other girls on the team. Have you ever thought how all of them must have felt all of this time? Your DD sounds like she has gotten plenty of time in the spotlight. Let Jess have this. Don't begrudge a kid their time to shine. Work on being happy for each of the kids' accomplishments, even if they beat your daughter. Even if you aren't there yet, fake it. Eventually you will see that it is the right thing.

 

[duyetanh]

What about the other girls on the team. Have you ever thought how all of them must have felt all of this time? Your DD sounds like she has gotten plenty of time in the spotlight. Let Jess have this. Don't begrudge a kid their time to shine. Work on being happy for each of the kids' accomplishments, even if they beat your daughter. Even if you aren't there yet, fake it. Eventually you will see that it is the right thing.

Amen!
Said from a parent whose kid was never the Star, does not care if she is the star, and is just happy she is doing the sport and loving it and doing well, and does not care what is posted on social media

 

[Gymmommy2524]

I just feel she could have been given a mention too, she performed so we'll yesterday. Just odd to exclude her & focus on her team mate.