Parents Daughter hates competing?

[GymnastMomX2]

My daughter is a 12 year old level 8 and can't stop talking about how much she hates competition season, keeps saying she can't wait for it to be over so she can work on upgrades and not worry about routines. She wasn't like this last year as a 7, however she was scoring high 37s last year, and easily placing well at meets. This year she's had injuries on and off for the last 6 months, hasn't yet competed all 4 events, and has barely placed at meets, its been tough. Especially because before her latest injury in December she was super ready and prepared. My hunch is that she doesn't want to compete unless she feels super confident in her skills and routines, which, mainly due to injuries and limited training, she most definitely does not. However she hasn't actually voiced that to me, all she says to me is that she hates competing, and hopes she doesn't qualify to state so her season can be over. I'm at a loss as to what to say to her to make her feel better or encourage her. Anyone else dealing with this? She's also a typical moody pre-teen, so trying to talk or reason with her about anything is near impossible.

 

[Tmacs]

I'm sorry. That sounds rough. I think most gymnasts are perfectionists so I can see how not being ready/confident could make her not enjoy competing. After all, it's essentially a display of what you can do.
While my daughter is ok with competing, she definitely thrives during summer uptraining- usually is super confident in her skills until competition starts and she goes through a period of self-doubt/ backsliding before regaining confidence. I try to encourage her to view it as fun... just enjoy her body doing amazing things and have a small goal for the meet. She's not consistently placing anymore like she did in compulsories so it's an adjustment. I keep reminding her that hardly anyone remembers or cares about scores and placements by the next day so do not make that the focus.

 

[Pineapple_Lump]

My hunch is that she doesn't want to compete unless she feels super confident in her skills and routines, which, mainly due to injuries and limited training, she most definitely does not.

I'm at a loss as to what to say to her to make her feel better or encourage her. Anyone else dealing with this? She's also a typical moody pre-teen, so trying to talk or reason with her about anything is near impossible.

It must be very hard for her right now emotionally, a lot of big feelings and nobody enjoys feeling like a failure in comparison to a high standard they set themselves.
Would having some specific goals written down help her? That way she can focus on what she is able to realistically achieve. If you don't feel it's something you can do with her (Moody teen) is it something she would be more receptive to coming from the coach/es? Depending on the emotions/mood perhaps as an entire group goal setting so she doesn't feel like she is being singled out in a negative way.

 

[MuggleMom]

My kid as always hated competing. Competing is what she has to do to get to work on the next fun thing that she wants to work on. Some kids like the ability to show off and some like flex of having cool skills. I would try and determine if this not liking competing is new or if she is finally being honest about it (because shes worried saying you dont like competing when you get 1st and 37s might sound braggy). If she really doesnt like competing thats fine say hey X more meets then on to upgrades! Like veggies before dessert kind of stuff! But if its about being disappointed thats ok too just help her work through it. Eitherway I don't think its that big a deal to be honest.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

It’s a rubber meets the road moment (s). If it’s about medals and scores, optionals can be tough.

Our experience here is optionals is about overcoming personal challenges and just comparing yourself to how you did last week, or last month. Or back from your injury or block.

It’s no longer about medals and podium finishes. Its about personal bests, improvements and preseverance.

 

[GymnastMomX2]

Our experience here is optionals is about overcoming personal challenges and just comparing yourself to how you did last week, or last month. Or back from your injury or block.

It’s no longer about medals and podium finishes. Its about personal bests, improvements and preseverance.

Love this! I agree if she’s in this for the long haul (and who knows really) it’s going to have to be something she learns.

 

[JBS]

Our experience here is optionals is about overcoming personal challenges and just comparing yourself to how you did last week, or last month. Or back from your injury or block.

It’s no longer about medals and podium finishes. Its about personal bests, improvements and preseverance.

Exactly that. We do line up our kids to try to take medals if it is a year when they are capable of doing that... but the above is more important. And if you line up a kid to take medals on a year that they cannot take medals... it will not be good times.