Parents Distraught Daughter

[berrisweetness]

Good luck to you and your dd. My dd on the other hand is distraught about not getting a 35 AA. She needs two to move up to the next level. We've had two meets already, she got a 33. 925 at one and a 33.175 at another. We have seven meets including state left. I am hoping she will still be able to go up even without the 35. I just think 3 is not worth repeating because it doesn't build on anything.

 

[Gymmom82773]

Wow ! The mobility score here is a 31 , 32 to go to states good luck to your daughter !!

 

[berrisweetness]

LOL our mobility score is a 31 also but the gym requires two 35's.

 

[AlexsGymmyMom]

Good luck to your DD. That's a tough call to make moving a girl down a level after they have got it in their head that they are said level. But if a gym uptrains the next level skills, then maybe she can still work on Level 9 and 10 skills while competing at a level she can have some success in. She has many years left in the sport and if she is feeling like this, those will be some very hard years! Hugs to both of you and much success at the next comp!

 

[Natasha]

If you do decide to have her compete L8 this is a great year to do it as previously unallowed C skills are now allowed (one per event in addition to the previously allowed ones). So, she can do L8 but still upgrade skills from last year and continue to uptrain her D skills and other C skills. This way she can start from a 10 without having to worry about earning connections, etc.

 

[kandkfunk]

It sounds like you are doing everything you can as a mom to support her right now. Change is hard on a lot of kids and losing training partners can actually feel very traumatic. As things settle down at gym she will most likely adjust just fine.

It's so early in the season and she is so young, I would just give level 9 some time. You know your kid the best and what she can handle. It also sounds like you trust your coach, which is important. Every child's path in this sport is different. What works for one kid won't necessarily work for another. A 30 AA this early in the season isn't horrible. She is bound to improve and gain confidence. Just follow your instincts.

 

[LMV]

I probably should have clarified ...
1) one girl landed short on a double back and injured her foot , waiting for MRI results
2) second girl have Scheurmanns Syndrome in her back (sp?) and is out until she stops growing (18-24 months)
3) the girl that quit had to due to reoccurring concussions not related to gymnastics

I like the coach . I'm just trying to help her train without the girls she's been with since the beginning . They feed off each other in practice and in meets so it's hard now for her .. The older girls are wonderful with her but it's not the same
As far as levels , I think it's too early in the season to move her back . They only had 1 meet adm she was super nervous and had a couple mental mistakes. The coach said we have until deb to declare a level. If she goes to 8, she will be the only 8 at the gym.

I think it helps to go back and look at why she is averaging less than 8 per event. Does she have low start values because her skills are below level? Is she competing skills that she really isn't ready to compete and thus losing a lot in execution? Or did she just have really rough first meet and make uncharacteristic errors? In the first case it seems to make sense to say why move to L9 before she is ready? (Except perhaps even this might make sense if she would rather have teammates at L9 than compete L8 as the only gymnast and if she understands that her start values will be low then it could be ok.) In the second case as a parent I'd have some real concerns about this because I think in most cases this is a safety issue and that is a non-negotiable as a far as I'm concerned. In the last case as a parent I'd try to trust the coach and support my child.

Our daughter competed her first L9 meet right after her eleventh birthday. The next youngest girl in her training group was fourteen so there was a bit of an age gap and as you're probably learning at that age three years can be a lot. I have to say that the other girls were kind and supportive teammates but they treated her like more of a little sister than a friend. I couldn't fault them for that.

We had reservations with her competing L9 (she had scored out of L8 a few months earlier and we kind of thought that sticking with L8 for a full year might have been a better option) but ultimately we decided to trust her coach that it really was the best option for her. At her first L9 meet she forgot her beam routine and made it up as she went along. She actually got all the special requirements in but didn't have the connections for bonus. Her coach earned a little bit of our trust when we saw him admit that perhaps learning a new beam routine three nights before the meet was too much and tell her that he was impressed that she managed to get all the requirements in. Her next meet was much better and she persevered and had a good season. She qualified for but skipped her L9 state meet to be in a family wedding. (We had committed to the kids being in the wedding when we thought she would be competing L8 and her coach was aware of all of this ahead of time.)

She moved up to L10 and competed her first meet right before she turned twelve. She rocked her bars and vault and struggled mightily with floor throughout the year. She had solid up to the level (or even a bit beyond) tumbling but minimal anything else and lost a lot in artistry deductions. As parents (who now had the advantage of an additional year of coming to trust her coach) we knew that this really was so much more of a self esteem issue than a gymanstics issue. We hung in there with her and tried to focus on the positives as we worked behind the scenes to help address the other issues. She just turned fourteen and is embarking on her 3rd L10 season. She has grown a lot and she is in a much different place. She is finally ready to attack floor and enjoy herself in the process. We're behind her all the way.

I think that our kids have to find their own paths. I think as parents we need to support them as they navigate but allow them to navigate as long as they aren't navigating into unsafe arenas. Good luck to your daughter on her journey.

 

[iwannacoach]

My 11 year old daughter is just starting her level 9 meet season and is struggling . She had her first meet this past weekend and only scored a 29 AA. Her coach says she will be ok and just has to gain experience and will get better . There are 4 young 9s at our gym ( mine is the youngest , others are 12) they are so close . 2 are out injured and one told the girls yesterday she is quitting . My daughter has been crying non stop and now has to try to train alone with teenagers . Any advice to help her get through this difficult time would be appreciated . She doesn't want to go back to level 8 , she says she would rather stay a 9 even if she doesn't make states ...

It's way too early to hit the panic button. If it were the third week in January, sure, but she has 7 weeks between now and then. That's a lot of time because the sense of urgency, not panic or despair, that accompanies meet season really brings the kids to a point where they focus and seize the day.

Your darling daughter's rapid pace through the levels (skipped L7) establishes that she learns quickly and defies the norm. That means those 7 weeks between now and crunch time can be filled with successes that come one after the other, and her scores will rise through that period of time. Considering factors that contribute to her score is a worthwhile pursuit that can put things into a better light. If, for instance, she had a few falls and missed or under performed required elements, there's plenty of up side in the next month as those wrinkles get ironed out.

It sounds like she may have had more than a few fall, missed connections, and skills under performed causing her deductions for missing requirements. Taking care of a few mistakes can bring her score up by a few points and by quite a few points when she gets the majority of them corrected.... all in the same meet.

So don't jump the ship just yet. Tell her to cheer up and live life one day at a time. She just may be delighted with the difference it makes.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

Simple, Tell her that you think it best that she compete 8. Allowable C's plus moms support equals happy and successful child, what could be more important?

 

[gymmomof1]

Lol there's it is : iwannacoach and coachp layed out the two roads. Question is what does dd want to do. Imho a factor of not having her gymmie buddies with her is hard. I know how much my dd and her best buds "have each others back" so to speak. Praying for a better next meet

 

[iwannacoach]

Lol there's it is : iwannacoach and coachp layed out the two roads. Question is what does dd want to do. Imho a factor of not having her gymmie buddies with her is hard. I know how much my dd and her best buds "have each others back" so to speak. Praying for a better next meet

I was considering a return to L8 like coachp has suggested but your dd says she doesn't want to go back to L8. I think there's a good chance for her scores to go up in the next few weeks, but your little darling needs to put her heart into it for that to happen. I hope she can, and find a way to have fun with her older team mates. Maybe you can chat that one up with her coach. I would also bring up the issue of next year's level. There's a saying that every dog has it's day, and it seems like a repeat year at level 9 would help that happen for her and give some other kids a chance to work up to her level and keep her company.

I've seen some good "young and old" team mate relationships, some that were just ok, and none where the younger kid felt totally left out.... Sure, it would be best if she had a pack to run with, but there seems no solution that will get that for her. So the real question seems to be whether gymnastics with a promising future is enough. Has that been the dominate force in her participation the past two years, or has it been more about having friends at the cost of doing gymnastics?

 

[MaryA]

I think, at that age (maybe at any age), it is really difficult to separate out the social aspect from of gymnastics from the sport itself. When you are in the gym at a minimum of 20 hours a week, it makes having much of a social life outside of the gym difficult. I would be hard-pressed to tell you (and she might be too) whether DD is unlikely to quit because she loves gymnastics or if it's because that's where most of her friends are. The two things are intertwined. DD is the oldest in her training group. She is almost 13 and the other girls in her group are all 9-11 year olds. Luckily, she counts them all as her friends. I don't know what would happen if she didn't have anyone in her group who helped to fill her social "niche".

 

[Gymmom82773]

Thanks for all the replies !! My daughter is very quiet and reserved , extremely hard working but the teammate that just quit was very outgoing , fun and my daughter really looked up to her as a person and a gymnast (she's a year older ) they have trained together since pre team . My daughter doesn't have many friends outside the gym . Most don't understand the 20+ hours she dedicates to gymnastics and why she's not available more to "hang out ". She is going to miss her teammates terribly , the one I thought might be back soon found out today she has a stress fracture in her foot . I know she doesn't want to switch gyms , she loves her coach , only time will tell I guess

 

[gymdog]

I would....not do level 9. Let's put it this way, it sounds like she's going to be a level 9 next year whether she stresses herself out this year or not. It's not worth it. In 5 years time, the only difference between her doing level 9 this year or not is that she will have done an additional year of level 9 that possibly put her on the path to hating gymnastics and possibly even all sorts of other stress related problems. I'm not trying to scare you, but knowing what I know now, if I were her mother, I would seriously try to get her to come around to this point of view.

 

[shelovestoflip]

Interesting reading this thread. My daughter is 14 and a 1st year level 9. First meet this weekend.
I'm stressed

Coaches out there, what would you say is a reasonable first meet score?

At the mock meet, my daughter scored a 31.

She knows what she needs to work on and wasn't disappointed....she is willing to work to improve. They have a meet this weekend and another in 2 weeks.

I don't know what scores are needed to get to States (32??) and Regionals (34??) She dreams of making Regionals at least!

I worried a bit when she was moved to Level 9.....half her 8 group moved and half are doing another year at 8. Part of me wished she stayed at 8 but her coaches feel like she is ready for the challenge of 9.

Not so sure I am!!

 

[Deleted member 14190]

I was considering a return to L8 like coachp has suggested but your dd says she doesn't want to go back to L8. I think there's a good chance for her scores to go up in the next few weeks, but your little darling needs to put her heart into it for that to happen. I hope she can, and find a way to have fun with her older team mates.

==

Attention parents,, listen closely, YOUR KIDS WILL TELL YOU EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR. By telling you everything she has told you, SHE is telling you that she is not ready for 9, but won't admit that she doesn't want to go 9.

 

[txgymfan]

Could she just train and skip a few meets until she is ready?

 

[Gymmom82773]

She could probably do that , I will see how her meet goes dec 14 th , after that she has a month off until another meet . She told me tonight she feels confident on everything but vault . She is inconsistent w the urchenko .

 

[gymyahoo]

Interesting observations. I would be nervous about your DD's risk of injury competing with inconsistent routines and mental issues with loss of teammates. The jump from Level 7 to 8 is much easier than 8 to 9. You might have to play bad parent and pull your DD back. My DD had a teammate who had a decent Level 8 year but was struggling through 9. Her mom pulled her back and she ended up having a great Level 8 and then a fantastic Level 9. It took awhile but having a great level 8 gave her more confidence and more time to up train her 9 skills. She has plenty of time to do level 10 unless you think she is going Elite which it does not sound to be her path. Your coach is worrying about fear setting into your DD before she gets a little older is not worth permanent injury to her body. Good luck,

 

[gracyomalley]

Well, DD is 11 also, but only L7 this year - and repeating after spending the summer working L8....would have been scoring low 30s at that level to start although I expect would have gotten up to mid 30s quickly ...her coach and she decided on a "confidence year"....although she still has tiny home melt downs about regretting that decision off and on....but at the mock meet we just had she had the highest scores on the team....something she has never experienced...and there are no skills she is struggling with for this level. Her cast handstands are phenomenal, giants great form, floor totally controlled, etc....

I agree 11 is a hot mess of an age emotionally....and what works for one girl may not for another - time will help. Not a decision to rush - DD spent months sorting this one out! The friend issue is a tough one - I actually kept my daughter at a different gym than my sons primarily due to social reasons....but I do think that friends don't have to be the same level so it really doesn't matter whether she's an 8 or 9 with regards to that - its just likely to contribute to her "distraughtness".

I too would be worried about Level 9 with inconsistent Yurchenkos....that's considered the standard level 8 vault here (yes, there are of course variations....and your DD may have a safe vault, just not a "higher level chenko...)...If she's made it as far as she has by 11...you are past the point of worrying about fear setting in...you would be seeing it - and maybe you are....but we just had another kiddo have to quit because of injuries - not anything due to bad training, just the nature of the beast...so I am glad that DD is not pushing too hard before she is completely in control (even though I know she was doing level 8 bars, beam and floor this summer.....).

Give your DD time to really see what she wants aside from friends -let her know that it doesn't matter to you if she's safe and happy whether she's a level 92! But do lay down the law at safe and emotionally adjusted....