Parents Gymmie that doesn't eat, sleep, breath gymnastics

[Kcanflip]

My daughter started gymnastics at around 7 1/2 at a recreational gym. She's currently 10 1/2 and she just finished competing level 3 USAG at more competetive gym. She did ok, with her highest score being just under 35. She's got the skills solid, but her form is what keeps her from scoring higher, plain and simple. She's really strong and could do so much more than she allows herself to do.

She is NOT one to eat, sleep, breath gymnastics. Gymnastics rarely enters her mind outside of the gym and she is not one to handstand, flip or tumble around the house, etc. In fact, we have a practice beam that she never uses. It used to drive me crazy, and I would "make" her practice, but I've since set a goal of leaving gym at gym and not pushing her for fear that I will turn her away from gymnastics and really for both of our sanity. Ha Ha. She loves gym and never complains about going, loves her coaches, does what they ask, and is happy when she finishes practices as well. She is not one to push herself to do more than what she currently can, and waits for the coaches to introduce skills to her. She just got her kip and it looks really good, but will stay level 3 for the 2nd half of our year/season to work on form and confidence and will move to 4 in early summer. She is totally fine with this. Doesn't bother her a bit. Some girls I know would be crushed to not move up after having their kip, etc.

Coaches and parents with higher level gymnasts....do you think the fact that she is not all consumed by gymnastics is a good thing or a bad thing? Do you see these types of kiddos staying in the sport, or eventually giving it up and moving on? Or do you sometimes see the passion and the desire grow with the gymnast? Any other parents with less internally driven gymnasts out there that have seen their kiddo stick with it and make it to the higher levels? I'd love to see her reach optionals, but at some point the skills are going to get a lot harder, and just wondering how this works with this type of gymnast.

I have a feeling I may get the "sit back and enjoy the ride" and "let what comes come" response, but posting regardless.

 

[Midwestmommy]

Sounds like the kind of person who will be a wonderful citizen and coworker one day! Will be able to leave the office at the office and enjoy a good day at the beach..... As for her gymnastics, hey I don't think it's a negative reflection whatsoever. Sounds like a well rounded kid, who knows what the future holds when the old hormones start kicking in.... Hey mom, take your cues from her and just enjoy the journey...

 

[B&M's mom]

Sounds a lot like my younger daughter. She enjoys practice and competing but it's not her entire world. She's already making noises about trying other things even though she's having a phenomenal season. At first I was against the idea but then realized that it's really her life and her sport and if she's ready to do something else, then who am I to stand in her way? We'll see at the end of the season.

 

[wallinbl]

I'm the type that gets totally wrapped up in something and I eat, breathe, sleep it. My wife, however, enjoys things while she's doing them, but doesn't think much or dwell on them when she's not. It's not that she doesn't enjoy them or continue doing them, it's just that her brain seems to have compartments that open and shut on a schedule.

 

[Amusibus]

My daughter is the same way, but I have no wisdom to offer as she is younger and lower level than yours. Just letting you know other kids are like this too. My daughter has developmental issues both physical and psychological that I feel benefit from gymnastics. It is sometimes difficult to maintain a perspective of calm indifference when so many others around us are not like this, so many kids striving to be superstars. Neither my daughter or I have this as a goal. She just sees it as fun, friendship, and something to do. I like to see her succeed, but for us succeed means something different.

 

[UnoMas]

My older DD is 13 and has been doing gym since she was 6. She sounds a lot like your daughter. She is a L6 right now and having a good year, set to move up to train L7 after states. She is definitely one of the least passionate gymnasts I have known, but she does love the sport and has given up higher level dance and other activities to stay in it. It may be just a personality thing...sometimes I wish for the passion that I see in other kids, but my DD also is a great teammate, is balanced when she wins OR loses, and I can't say that about a lot of the super passionate gymnasts I have met.

 

[Sasha]

Does she do, or talk about doing, other activities/sports that would probably not be possible to balance with gymnastics? Have you ever asked her, hypothetically, how she would feel about doing something else (dance, skating, whatever) instead of gymnastics?

Just curious of her mindset, not suggesting you need to ask her that. Wondering if she would 'freak out' at the mention of not doing gym anymore, or if she would think that was OK to do something else.

For us, the money is so high and tight for us to keep our kids in the sport, that if the time comes that they feel less-than-passionate about gym, I will probably start guiding them into different things. It might be a different story if we were super wealthy and could easily splurge on such training for more 'casual' enjoyment.

We did have our oldest DS in for a while, but his passion just wasn't there (though he loved gym except for the conditioning parts). We pulled him out recently after wrestling with that, and he was fine with that.

Sorry I don't have any guidance on whether your DD will reach higher levels - I can see the benefit of being more laid back about scores and such! For us, though, I couldn't imagine our non-passionate DS making it very far up the levels without the drive since they get harder and harder. Maybe he would have, but he doesn't really miss it, he has free time to do more casual sports/activities, and we save $$$, so that's the direction we took.

I'll stop now before saying 'enjoy the ride'

 

[AlexsGymmyMom]

I am so glad you brought up this subject because I always thought that my DD was the only one that didn't obsess over gym! She has moved along at her own pace and overcome fears but rarely talks about gym outside of the gym! I know that right now she plans to continue with gym until after high school (but you never know what can happen between now and then....she is a 14 year old Level 7). She may never get past this level, or she may get to level 10. So many things can happen and I imagine that even the most super obsessed gymnast can lose their passion.

 

[Azgymmiemom]

My dd turned 11 just 3 days ago. She has been in love with this sport since she was 6, but it's just been since this past summer that things seemed to get "real" for her and she realized she really DOES want to go as far as she can in this sport. When I was a kid, I danced and rode horses and did all kinds of activities. I didn't even think about concentrating on one thing until at the age of 14, I decided dance and theater was my "thing". I think I was just a late bloomer and kind of naive about things. So, maybe your dd just isn't at that point yet maturity wise where she even realizes she could get "serious" about gym. Slow and steady winning the race and all that. Just one way of looking at it.

 

[raenndrops]

I was one of those who would do what I was doing when I was doing it, but not think too much about it outside of then. I played multiple sports (the most expensive was $45 a season at the time though) and I would focus on whichever sport i was doing at that moment.

Now, I watch my gymmies:
OG has the drive to win and be good at whatever she is doing. Played softball/ baseball the year she moved up to team and was nicknamed "The Rocket" by her baseball coach at the first practice. Would have played football with the boys after a pick-up game in my backyard... one of the older boys who was on the team commented about how good she was at it... but the football camp conflicted with gymnastics practice going into the biggest meet of the season. She did play "Upward" soccer and basketball for 3-4 years ... and was the leading scorer in both, but she always goes back to gymnastics. She has a plan... Level 7 by 8th grade, and upgrading - working toward Level 8 and high school team.

YG is always doing cartwheels and handstands EVERYWHERE, but that is the only way we can tell that she likes gym. She competed old L4 for 2 years and CHOSE to compete L3 this year. She is working on uptraining (has her RO-BHS-BHS and FHS on floor, has accidentally done a cartwheel on beam before, almost has her kip, and one of her "clubs" at gym... if the L4 that vaults on 0 ever gets better... is the "big vault club" because she wants to go over the "big" vault. HOWEVER, she has already told me that she does not want to compete L4 next year... Her plan is to wait in L3 until she can convince HC to let her compete Xcel Gold. She even already planned her bar routine... LAST summer... It is glide, pullover, cast to horizontal, back hip circle, squat on, long hang pullover, underswing with 1/2 turn tap the bar dismount... I scored it an 8.4 when she did it

 

[thefellowsmom]

It is always so interesting to hear all the different paths through the sport. It really is one of the greatest things about it I think. There is something for everyone and every passion level and every desire.

My daughter is a total crazy pants about this sport and has known since she walked in the gym at three years old that it was her home and she wanted everything she could take from it, but she is definitely the exception and not the rule at our gym.

There a few all gym all the time kids but most of the team kids at our gym are hard working and love being there but do other things as well and are happy to just progress when they progress and do their best. I think this is the much more common mindset and very normal and healthy. Even some of the very talented and successful gymmies aren't totally obsessed and gym isn't everything to them outside the gym.

There are so many benefits to just getting out there and doing gymnastics that whatever the path and whatever the end point it is definitely worth it. But I do agree that it is very expensive and if my daughter was showing a take it or leave it attitude toward gym I might think about gently leading her elsewhere.

I will say that I think it would be hard to get into the upper optional levels without a large amount of drive for it. It hurts and is hard and consumes everything and that is definitely not for everyone. But who says that has to be the goal. There are many options and many ways to be happy and successful for a good long while doing gymnastics

Good luck to your dd and enjoy the ride.

 

[iwannacoach]

I'd have to say there's all types of "hooked on gymnastics" behavior that foils any effort to lump successful gymnasts over any single common denominator. That''s probably because there's no particular life style required for success other than being disciplined and working hard during training sessions. I can remember more than a few kids who I thought would just be ho hum because they seemed less fanatical. The thing is these were also intelligent, hard working kids, and that must have been all they needed because they ended up among the best kids I've trained.

I suspect that the more sedate kids are able to save energy that can be better used while at the gym, as well as renew themselves by taking a brief emotional vacation for the few hours they have to spare.

I also have seen many kids tag along for the ride and just do what's expected or required until they come to a point of seeing something in themselves that provokes them to be more aggressive in their progressions and skillwork. Makes a lot of sense to me, because the sport is a long term proposition that requires patience as well as the ability to tolerate periods of time where nothing exciting takes place.

So possibly your dd is just hitching a ride in the gymnastics car until she feels the urge to get her hands on the wheel and is able to reach the gas pedal...... Brakes? Did somebody say brakes?

 

[my4buffaloes]

I wouldn't worry about it. Every child doesn't have to be passionate to make it worthwhile. Gymnastics will be good for her mentally and physically for as long as she does it. She will learn life lessons and have a good foundation for any other sport she chooses. I would let her do it as long as she wants to.

 

[gymmomtoo]

She sounds very balanced--that's great as having other interests will really help her be well rounded. She may decide that something else interests her more as she gets older or she may decide that gymnastics really is IT for her. But if she does get a gymnastics career ending injury, at least she won't feel like her life is over--and that's a very good thing!

 

[gracyomalley]

Balance is good...and enjoying gym but not living it is very healthy at that age/level....Perhaps she will just be a balanced person..and that has advantages! My oldest child is somewhat like that in both gym and music, and as I am very type A it sort of drives me crazy...but he knows of a fantastic violinist who simply had to stop playing in high school because of the anxiety it was causing....balance is good!

Money does come into play and IF my kids were not working hard for their coach, enjoying practices and meets and being good team members I'd have them "be done", but other than that, it really, for most of them, is "just a sport"...maybe a metaphor for life and all its lessons, but in the end, even if they do college gym, its just a stage in life....some with "live it" fully and obsessively, some not so much....

 

[Bajanswife]

DD (almost 11) isn't that passionate either. She likes gymnastics, and she's happy to work out often (usually 4 times a week, but we have had to temporarily drop to 3 days this term). But she is not a competitive person at all. She does not strive for goals, she just goes along for the ride. She knows her form isn't great, and she knows there are things she could be doing to make it better, but she doesn't see any reason to. She knows she's one of the better gymnasts in the gym - she doesn't need to be the best. She enjoys winning, but doesn't need to win. She has a lot of interests outside of gym and a lot of non-gymnast friends. When she's done with gym she already knows she wants to take up horseback riding. She's a level 6 and has gotten there with a relaxed attitude, so it's possible to get at least this far! She likes where she is right now, with her own routines, and isn't even sure she wants to aim for level 7! But she still really likes it and isn't ready to quit, so we just keeping going.

 

[Sixmonkeyjungle]

Sounds like my DD, also a rising L4. She ended her season just shy of a 37 which I think is great. But she is just not overwhelmed with love or passion for the sport. She is also not one to crave harder skills or beg for them although she is happy and proud when she masters them. In my case my DD is crazy passionate about other things, namely dance, and has already declared that it will always come before gym. But when I broach the subject of trying new things and quitting gym she bursts into tears. It's getting to the point that I don't really want to invest the time or money that this sport requires when I can see that she is only lukewarm about it but I don't want her to always blame me or have regrets for making her quit before she's ready. If this were her only activity I would gladly just ride it out and enjoy no stress!

 

[BlairBob]

Probably a good thing. In time, she will probably refocus or move on. Better than a mental case.

 

[Kcanflip]

Thanks for all the replies! It really helps to know that there are indeed others out there that are like my DD. When I see other kiddos burst into tears when they can't get their skills just perfectly, or who are crushed when they don't place at meets, I do think that there is some merit in her laid back approach! It's like I wish I could help relieve those girls stress just a tad by giving them a bit of my DD's personality and then taking just a bit of their internal drive and sharing that with my DD.

 

[BlairBob]

The big lebowski of gymnastics