Parents Hoping for Some Advice RE Xcel vs JO

[Ali'sMom]

I'm going to keep an open dialogue with the other gym. The current gym will re-evaluate her for pre-team in September when she returns. She is getting stronger, but I'm not sure if 6-8 weeks out of the gym will get in the way of that. I'm thinking maybe this should be the year she tries soccer and basketball and cheerleading and whatever else to see where her interests lie and go from there (and please God don't let it be soccer because I've never gotten that game.....lol). After the information in this thread, I no longer thing that an early start is essential, especially since she won't even start kindergarten for another year. Let her mature a bit and continue to develop her own personality and go from there. I do appreciate the feedback.

I think your approach sounds perfect!!!!

 

[sce]

I'm thinking maybe this should be the year she tries soccer and basketball and cheerleading and whatever else to see where her interests lie and go from there (and please God don't let it be soccer because I've never gotten that game.....lol). After the information in this thread, I no longer thing that an early start is essential, especially since she won't even start kindergarten for another year. Let her mature a bit and continue to develop her own personality and go from there. I do appreciate the feedback.

Good lord, she's 4yo! Maybe this is the year that she has fun and learns through play vs a list of structured classes. She's way too young to decide she wants to stick with any of those things. Sure she can try activities if SHE wants to but why put so much on such a young child? AND your not even her parent!?! My dd was 6yo when she tried, dance, soccer, gymnastics, t-ball, theater etc. (not all at once, but at different points that year.) At 7yo she tried soccer again, and basketball, and more theater - and continued doing gym. Even now at 11yo while she is primarily in gym and does the occasional stage show, she also loves dance when she can fit it in and still talks about maybe doing basketball or baseball again (or maybe someday karate. and ...)

Here's the thing only a few will really excel in any area and it won't come from being pushed early it will come from a mix of passion and talent, with the SUPPORT of her family. As well, nothing is wring wiht not being exceptional in something either.

 

[JoyAvenueMom]

You've gotten some great advice so far. The one thing I would suggest is this: The most important thing TODAY may be the person who is coaching LO, rather than the gym. I say that because my dd started at a rec gym that competed AAU and non-sanctioned. (I didn't learn about JO until she was 8yo.) As a 7yo, she had a GREAT coach who focused on detail and taught form correctly. The next year, she moved "up" and the new coach allowed lots of sloppy form. She learned new skills, but developed bad habits. I couldn't actually see the difference at the time, but it is interesting to watch old video and see how her form digressed. As a 5 year old, I think the MOST important thing she can do is have fun. However, if ALL THINGS ARE EQUAL, she might as well be having fun at the JO gym. Change is harder once she has friends and falls in love with her coaches. If all things are not equal (the other gym isn't as "fun", etc.) she should stay put. Too many young ones quit because they are required to work hard before they understand the relationship of hard work to results. Yes, they are stronger, better gymnasts, but what difference does that make if they quit? Our gym had two amazing 8 yo L4's who quit bc it was no longer fun. My dd is probably a year behind where she might have been if she had started at a "better gym", but, she is also still in the sport. We moved to JO when she was 9yo and could understand how tough conditioning made her a better gymnast...and was committed enough to be 100% on board with a more intense program. She LOVED the sport, and may have been fine with a tough program early on...but maybe not.
I absolutely understand where you are coming from. I competed in equestrienne sports as a kid/teen. My parents were not able to buy me a great horse, nor could they afford lessons. But it was my passion, and I was still reasonably successful. Still, I have wondered what my path might have been with different opportunities. Kipper is in her third and final gym (unless something crazy happens!) I am at peace that I have done everything I can to provide the resources she needs to reach her full potential. It's completely up to her, but she will never have to wonder what might have been if she had been at a better gym. My personal hope is that she stays in the sport at least through middle school. They learn so much from this sport, and I think each year she stays in is valuable. As an 11yo L7, College gym is not likely, but not out of the question, either. Her gym has a great track record for helping each gymnast reach their full potential, and they will train her to the best of their ability as long as she is committed.

A final note: While you are wise to educate yourself now, and choose the best gym available, I think a great gym will take any kiddo at any age and take them from where they are to the best they can be. Several have to come to our gym from others, spent a year getting stronger, then skipped a level or two to "catch up" to where they might have been if they had started at our gym. With relatively low hours now, as long as she is safe and having fun, you will not damage LO's future possibilities by leaving her where she is for another year or two. She isn't likely to develop habits that can't be fixed on such a limited schedule. I am still a bit of a novice in the world of USA gym, but I have already seen several incredibly talented young (age 7-8) kiddos quit due to burn out or injury. They may or may not have stayed in the sport if they were still having fun instead of working hard. Then again, there are some really talented 9-10 yo at our gym who have been working at a high rate of intensity since they were 6. It's impossible to predict! Whatever you do, KEEP HER WANTING MORE!!!! She should always be begging for more gym time and a desire to work harder skills. As soon as that changes, burn out and/or fear will take over. Best of luck!!!!

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I don't know much, but I do know some.

She is barely 5, the only thing she should be doing is having fun.
She has parents, that is who should be making any decision regarding this child.

I would invite the child's parents here if they want more information, otherwise let them parent.

The child's mother is comfortable with where her daughter is at the moment. Respect and honor that.

 

[GymAuntie]

Sce abd ldw,

Have you read the entire thread? The mom is not averse to a move but is concerned about the timing of the move because she loves her teacher so much. And she is not a computer person so I was asked to gather info. Mom is way on board with competitive gym at the highest possible level. In fact she started with gym and wants it to be her only activity going forward.

No one is pushing the kid. There's a big difference in pushing and developing. If it's something the child enjoys why not let her do it? She asks everyday to go to flippy class and is disappointed when it's not her day to do it. She also watches it on TV when she can find it. This is something she enjoys as much as anyone.

Every family dynamic is different so you really should withhold your rearing advice as it is neither appreciated nor warranted. My question was simply will it be a deterrent to keep her out of jo for another year as she's about to turn 5? Now if you'd like to address that, please do. And if not then kindly move along.

 

[GymAuntie]

Whatever you do, KEEP HER WANTING MORE!!!! She should always be begging for more gym time and a desire to work harder skills. As soon as that changes, burn out and/or fear will take over. Best of luck!!!!

This is actually about the same words that the owner of the current gym gave us when we asked what could be done at home to make her stronger. Thanks for the post reenforcing that. Right now she does want more which is a great thing.

She is already in love with her teacher which is why my sister fears a move will make her regress. And this gym is definitely more fun than the other one. So thank you for your well thought out post. It helps a lot.

 

[MeetDirector]

...
Every family dynamic is different so you really should withhold your rearing advice as it is neither appreciated nor warranted. My question was simply will it be a deterrent to keep her out of jo for another year as she's about to turn 5? Now if you'd like to address that, please do. And if not then kindly move along.

@GymAuntie -

Right on! Keep doing your research, let her get well and take her trip, and hit things fresh when she gets back. Her having fun is paramount, but at the same time you don't want to get stuck somewhere, for whatever reason, and her future be artificially limited.

Good Luck.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

ldw,

Have you read the entire thread? The mom is not averse to a move but is concerned about the timing of the move because she loves her teacher so much.

Yes I did. And by choosing to post you are going to get all kinds of opinions.

If you are looking for information to give to the child's mother, so this mother (not you), the parent (s) can make an informed decision, you have come to the right place and have gotten good info.

And you are in the parent forum and as parents, we too have a perspective and information on being parents. One that you do not have.

The child's mother has expressed she is good with where her daughter is for now. You have said this multiple times. As a parent, unless a child is being abused or in physical danger, let the parent, parent.

Yes I have read the whole thread, the mother is good with where the child is. You now have some information for when the mother is ready to make a change.

Respect the mother' choices on how she is parenting HER child.

JMO, as an actual parent.

 

[skschlag]

Yes I did. And by choosing to post you are going to get all kinds of opinions.

If you are looking for information to give to the child's mother, so this mother (not you), the parent (s) can make an informed decision, you have come to the right place and have gotten good info.

And you are in the parent forum and as parents, we too have a perspective and information on being parents. One that you do not have.

The child's mother has expressed she is good with where her daughter is for now. You have said this multiple times. As a parent, unless a child is being abused or in physical danger, let the parent, parent.

Yes I have read the whole thread, the mother is good with where the child is. You now have some information for when the mother is ready to make a change.

Respect the mother' choices on how she is parenting HER child.

JMO, as an actual parent.

I just want to say that the parent forum is for parents and relatives. This family situation might be different, but auntie has said multiple times that she is gathering info for the parents, and that the mom knows she will need a different gym eventually.

It is not our job to give them advice on their family/aparenting situation. She was asking for advice about JO/Excel, and chose to tell us about the unique situation their family is in. Having seen many situations like this over the years, I think it is great that this little girl has many people who love her and and want the best for her. No one is being pushy, or over zealous. Sheesh coming on this board for the first time, you do think that if you are not in the right spot now, you might never get to compete. How many gyms have we heard of that won't put you in JO unless you are a certain age and body type.

Auntie, I hope you will stay and learn as your niece grows. This is a valuable place for anyone involved in gymnastics. I was an auntie that helped with my nephew for years when my sister was in school, and it was up to me to find the activities for him (and I paid for them too) so I get the family dynamic I loved it!

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I just want to say that the parent forum is for parents and relatives. This family situation might be different, but auntie has said multiple times that she is gathering info for the parents, and that the mom knows she will need a different gym eventually.

Clearly we see the dynamic and situation differently. Differences of opinion happen when more than one person gathers, especially in a forum.

I stand by mine.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I was an auntie that helped with my nephew for years when my sister was in school, and it was up to me to find the activities for him (and I paid for them too) so I get the family dynamic I loved it!

I too have been the aunt with the check book.

Let me ask you, if your sister said thanks but nephew is good where he is at right now, would you have continued to try and arrange for him to do other things?

 

[Max]

Auntie, you have done what I find myself holding back most days now which is post. This board offers great advice but unfortunately not without sometimes people judging. You have stuck with this thread to continue to get information for your situation. You are a good Aunt. My daughter recently switched from excel to JO. I always tell people it is more than just their training but their friends in their group. It was the right switch for her but it was very hard for to leave behind her friends.

 

[profmom]

And my opinion, LD, is that making a lot of wild assumptions about how a family network of kin relationships operates based solely on your own experience as a parent and aunt is not helpful at all to the OP or her family. Not all family relationships are like yours and not all parenting experiences are like yours. Many completely functional families operate with significant alloparental input and investment from multiple adults.

 

[duyetanh]

As a parent and an educator of young children...please make sure she has fun. That is the most important thing of all. When young children are put in too many activities I have seen the fallout in terms of health, mental state, and behavior. Young children often think they can do it all at the same time in their lives. And we live in a society that feels the need to achieve achieve achieve at all costs. It is no wonder there are so many older youth and young adults with major issues today. Yes, it is important to be an achiever, but society in my opinion has taken it to the extreme. It is important to remember to make time to relax, so to speak, and enjoy life, and just play in the sprinklers at home for example, lol...to just stay home and just 'be.' Am I making any sense?
My two cents, for what it's worth...

 

[Ali'sMom]

Yes I did. And by choosing to post you are going to get all kinds of opinions.

If you are looking for information to give to the child's mother, so this mother (not you), the parent (s) can make an informed decision, you have come to the right place and have gotten good info.

That was exactly the only thing she came here for, if you've read the whole thread, you understand that.

Clearly we see the dynamic and situation differently. Differences of opinion happen when more than one person gathers, especially in a forum.

I stand by mine.

As much as she came here looking for information, and yes, everyone is 100% fully free to give their opinion, most people find it more appropriate to give an opinion based on what the OP is asking, not on their own family dynamics and insinuating that she is not letting the parents parent. Some might offer up other options that the OP didn't mention, in case OP didn't know about something, but that is still very different than attacking her aunting skills. (note, I did not say parenting, because you've made it very clear she is not the parent).

 

[skschlag]

I too have been the aunt with the check book.

Let me ask you, if your sister said thanks but nephew is good where he is at right now, would you have continued to try and arrange for him to do other things?

If my sister had asked me to look into alternatives,a nd into the different paths, and wanted my advice, I would have given it. This sister isn't saying she is moving the kid. She was asking for advice that the mom wanted on which path leads where, and when would be the best time to move the kid. That was it.

 

[cbifoja]

Yes I did. And by choosing to post you are going to get all kinds of opinions.

If you are looking for information to give to the child's mother, so this mother (not you), the parent (s) can make an informed decision, you have come to the right place and have gotten good info.

And you are in the parent forum and as parents, we too have a perspective and information on being parents. One that you do not have.

The child's mother has expressed she is good with where her daughter is for now. You have said this multiple times. As a parent, unless a child is being abused or in physical danger, let the parent, parent.

Yes I have read the whole thread, the mother is good with where the child is. You now have some information for when the mother is ready to make a change.

Respect the mother' choices on how she is parenting HER child.

JMO, as an actual parent.

I'm sorry, but this is SO offensive and I'm not even related to this person.

There is something to be said for staying ON topic. Posting to the parent forum does not mean you are opening yourself up to every criticism from strangers who know nothing about your personal situation! She asked for advice on a specific topic....a gymnastics topic.... she didn't ask for you to judge her, her family, or her relationship with her sister. Yes, you can offer your opinion about the gymnastics topic. That is fair game. But I would be livid if you talked to me and made the same assumptions about me and my family that you've made toward this family.

I know that your posting style comes across as rather abrupt. There have been many times that I went out of my way to give you the benefit of the doubt and not take offense to some of your words. It's great that you have been so eager to share you experience but it really is hard to hear your message when you says things "JMO, as an actual parent". Maybe you just don't realize how snarky that makes you sound but I can practically hear a "hair flip" behind your words and I'm sorry, but that just isn't nice.

You ask the OP to respect the mother's choice but seem to be unwilling to show that same respect. :-(

 

[LJL07]

As we all well know on here, with limited gym program options in one's area, sometimes you have to make decisions earlier than you want to not limit your child's future choices. If the only program nearby will have requirements for team track around age 5-6, and her niece is approaching age 5, then now is the time to be collecting information.

We're here for you auntie.

s

Ok, on the one hand, there is absolutely no way to predict whether or not a 4 year old is long term for gymnastics. I have two daughters who aren't even quite at optional levels yet, and this is requiring HUGE time and commitment. If her parents aren't on board and they assume primary responsibility for her, I'm just not sure how do-able competitive gymnastics is.

On the other hand, I agree with Sasha. we also live in an area with limited gym program options. When one of my girls was getting close to 6, we saw that she really seemed to love gym and had some potential, and I did go a little crazy trying to find the best fit/coaching for her. I get it. We also have few optional level girls around where we live, but you definitely need a JO program at the very least.

So my 2cents are to find a gym with a JO program that is ALSO fun and give that a try. And definitely continue to let her do other activities while she still can!

 

[LJL07]

^^I missed a big chunk of the thread and read that grandma was doing all of the transportation. If mom is wanting you to collect info, then you have plenty of it and safest bet is gym with JO program. FWIW, my older daughter did not start team at 5. She has really only just started to blossom over this year and summer and is 8. Hope that helps.

 

[GymAuntie]

Yes I did. And by choosing to post you are going to get all kinds of opinions.

If you are looking for information to give to the child's mother, so this mother (not you), the parent (s) can make an informed decision, you have come to the right place and have gotten good info.

And you are in the parent forum and as parents, we too have a perspective and information on being parents. One that you do not have.

The child's mother has expressed she is good with where her daughter is for now. You have said this multiple times. As a parent, unless a child is being abused or in physical danger, let the parent, parent.

Yes I have read the whole thread, the mother is good with where the child is. You now have some information for when the mother is ready to make a change.

Respect the mother' choices on how she is parenting HER child.

JMO, as an actual parent.

Actually to clarify my sister said she is fine making a move now if warranted. She said go find out if it makes a difference and then we will address it. BUT if it doesn't make a difference then I think she's comfortable with her current teacher and I don't want to shake her up too much. Next year she will have a lot of change and would likely see the new gym as part of starting school and being a big girl.

You obviously have a bug up your rear about our family dynamic so I will kindly ask you to remove yourself from the conversation as anything you add will be non-productive. Perhaps you have overzealous relatives so this is a hot button topic for you or perhaps you are just a person who enjoys pot stirring. Whatever the case I will not lower myself to allowing you to pick a fight and hijack this thread nor will I continue to defend my actions to the likes of you. I may not be a parent but I do know how to lead by example and will take the high road from the likes of you. No good day......