Parents Missing school question

[MILgymFAM]

I am hoping I don't get too much flack here, but I have a question. Do you lie to your DDs school when she misses for meets? We have really draconian rules here about why kids can miss, and how many unexcused absences before they haul you into court. DD is a model student (4.0), but has already maxed her unexcused absences on a visit back to the east coast for a wedding. She went one over when we had to go again for a funeral, and we already had our warning notice from the district. Now, I am torn- I hate the idea of lying to the school, but at the same time I have zero desire to get tied up legally over missing two days for her regionals. Do I say she is sick or bite the bullet and tell them the truth? What have you done in the past, if your school isn't flexible about sports? Thanks for any suggestions.

 

[Iwannabemargo]

No help I'm afraid, but it occurs to me that your schools are nuts ! Here if a child excels in sport most schools are delighted and post it all over the school newsletter. I have frequently got excused absence from school for P&F to go to travel meets. - We see it as a bonus to the school - as bit of reflected glory.

Add to that your ridiculous homework burden .......

 

[BachFlyer]

I would talk to the principal, and/or the superintendent, if you haven't already. Because maybe it's a "soft" rule when there are extenuating circumstances. Our school has the same rule, but they've never made a legal issue of it, although every year I get an reprimanding letter from the principal every year reminding me that they need to be at school in order to be successful and that they've missed too many days. (My younger DD misses too, because I am a single parent with no backup, so when we travel, she travels). They are both 4.0 students as well, so I just ignore it. My gymnast does her last class of the day online so that she can go to early practice, and they know the situation, but yet they keep sending the letter. So I guess I feel like the letter is a formality.

I can't tell you what to do if you've already tried to talk to them, but I guess I'd probably lie.

 

[MILgymFAM]

I have spoken the principle. I was in a similar dilemma last year when she was in a professional ballet and was supposed to leave early to rehearse on quite a few days. He was very clear that, at least here, it's about the money. Kids not in their seats means the district doesn't get paid by the state. He pointed out (quite rudely, I thought) that since our kids get free lunch we should be more understanding that they need to get all the money possible from the state. Yeah, we will say they are inflexible.

 

[skschlag]

I am lucky that my district is great about this. The neighboring one, however, is not. Parents have done it different ways. Some have lied. Others have just said"bring it" and gone thru the process of social services, etc. I think it is sad that schools aren't more flexible. Most states, there are "count" days, and that is where your money comes from. I can't imagine that count days are every day.....

 

[wandrewsjr]

I have spoken the principle. I was in a similar dilemma last year when she was in a professional ballet and was supposed to leave early to rehearse on quite a few days. He was very clear that, at least here, it's about the money. Kids not in their seats means the district doesn't get paid by the state. He pointed out (quite rudely, I thought) that since our kids get free lunch we should be more understanding that they need to get all the money possible from the state. Yeah, we will say they are inflexible.

My jaw dropped when I read that comment from your principal! So unbelievably rude and unprofessional! But to answer your question, I have done both. When they were in elementary school I just ignored the first warning letter (talking to others in similar situations led me to believe nothing is serious until letter 3 or so). Then I just started to lie. I know it is not a great example to set for the kids. But they have my, their parent's, permission to miss school, so frankly it shouldn't matter why. Unless they were going to miss 5 days (which happened once or twice with a travel meet we turned into family vaca), then do independent study and the district will get paid.

 

[my4buffaloes]

Well, we have never had to yet. I try to be very honest about what is going on. We will see what happens over the years though. Last year the level 8s missed so much, that many parents were getting truancy letters by the end of the season. In that instance I don't know what I would do. Tough situation for sure.

 

[raenndrops]

I would tell the truth. Your daughter is a 4.0 student. The state USUALLY doesn't give money per day for the number of students there. The amount could be based on the attendance rate OVERALL - average for the district for the year. Sounds like he wants the money they will get for giving her a free lunch that day.

As for the threat of truancy charges... even if the SCHOOL is inflexible, the court system looks at their attendance... reasons for absence - weddings and funerals are FINE... usually so are sports as long as it is not an all the time thing. Tell the truth. It sets a good example for your daughter (and the school will find out anyways if there happens to be a sports blurb afterwards or if your daughter accidentally mentions it). IF they REALLY send it off, talk to the investigator that comes to the house... explain the absences... it won't go any further.

 

[MILgymFAM]

I am lucky that my district is great about this. The neighboring one, however, is not. Parents have done it different ways. Some have lied. Others have just said"bring it" and gone thru the process of social services, etc. I think it is sad that schools aren't more flexible. Most states, there are "count" days, and that is where your money comes from. I can't imagine that count days are every day.....

I double checked the handbook, and it does say they are paid by the state for everyday kids are in school. It also says that 3 unexcused absences, or 10 total absences combined, equals truancy. Harsh IMO. In NY the school was supportive of kids even missing for travel, with teachers telling me that any day spent exploring our country was as beneficial as a day in school. California is a brave new world. I would be tempted to say bring it on, but we since we are moving I don't want legal issues following. This happened in TX when DD missed four days of KINDERGARTEN to go home for Christmas. Hubby was pulled into court and had to tell his command about it. It was a bad deal.

 

[Iwannabemargo]

(((shakes head and thinks things aren't too bad here)))

 

[wallinbl]

We just tell them the truth, but we don't appear to be in the same situation as you are. The teachers actually ask for videos of her meets because they're interested in how she does. There are several gymnasts in her class, so they're used to it, I guess. They're also cooperative on homework - they're usually good about making homework assignments known ahead of time, so we can plan around practice schedules.

 

[NutterButter]

I've lied before when it was unclear whether my DD's absence would be excused or not. My reasoning was that my DD works so hard both in the gym and in school and it wasn't really fair that she potentially be penalized for taking a day off for a meet. I would have hated for her to have a test that day and not be allowed to make it up because she was at a meet. It felt wrong and I hated being in that position but I would do it again if I had to.

I can't believe your district's rules. That's really harsh! I would lie and not give it another thought!

 

[raenndrops]

I double checked the handbook, and it does say they are paid by the state for everyday kids are in school. It also says that 3 unexcused absences, or 10 total absences combined, equals truancy. Harsh IMO. In NY the school was supportive of kids even missing for travel, with teachers telling me that any day spent exploring our country was as beneficial as a day in school. California is a brave new world. I would be tempted to say bring it on, but we since we are moving I don't want legal issues following. This happened in TX when DD missed four days of KINDERGARTEN to go home for Christmas. Hubby was pulled into court and had to tell his command about it. It was a bad deal.

They don't get money daily... The state gets an "average daily attendance" and they are paid based on that. In California, ADA means 2 things: the percentage of pupils who typically attend class each day, calculated by dividing the number of pupils present by the total number of enrolled pupils. AND, in California, total ADA is also defined as the total days of student attendance divided by the total days of instruction during which the student is enrolled. This is the one that affects state funding... for the following year. Your girls won't be there next year.

As long as she hasn't missed 10% of the days (the threshold for Chronic absence in California), there isn't much they can do. Courts do not get involved until after AFTER the 3rd letter home about the absences. After the 3rd letter, the School Attendance Review Board would contact you. They would set up a meeting with you and your daughter to discuss the reason for her absences.
Each school is supposed to:
Define the process for verifying absences due to illness; quarantine; medical, dental, optometric or chiropractic services; attending funeral services; jury duty; illness or medical appointment of a student’s child; justifiable personal reason; or serving as a member of a precinct board.
In my mind, the funeral should have been an excused absence and so should the wedding. Therefore, missing for Regionals is fine. It should also fall under justifiable personal reason.

 

[sce]

Not sure what you should do. Usually it's better to make prior arrangements. Most schools have a policy for how to handle such absences, but yours sounds unreasonable.

[QUOTE="raenndrops, post: 294132, member: 5751". The state USUALLY doesn't give money per day for the number of students there. [/QUOTE]

Not true, they get paid per student in attendance, per day.

 

[raenndrops]

Not sure what you should do. Usually it's better to make prior arrangements. Most schools have a policy for how to handle such absences, but yours sounds unreasonable.

[QUOTE="raenndrops, post: 294132, member: 5751". The state USUALLY doesn't give money per day for the number of students there.

Not true, they get paid per student in attendance, per day.[/QUOTE]
I meant they don't get the money daily. They take the number of days a student is in school divided by the number of instructional days enrolled.

 

[MILgymFAM]

The funeral was excused- one day, but we had to fly back to Philly and were gone four days. The wedding was unexcused- they have no allowances for any personal reasons. The only excused absences are for illness, medical, funeral. She also had a special "allowance day" for a cheerleading function- school sports have allowance days as needed. Honestly I think it's terrible that the schools funding is tied to whether or not my kid has perfect attendance. Life happens.

 

[raenndrops]

I found more:
Nine types of excused absence are defined in EC Section 48205:
1. Due to illness

2. Due to quarantine under the direction of a county or city health officer

3. For the purpose of medical, dental, optometric, or chiropractic services

4. For the purpose of attending the funeral service of his or her immediate family. No more than one day is allowed if the service is in California; no more than three days are allowed if the service is outside of California

5. For the purpose of jury duty

6. Due to the illness or medical appointment during school hours of a child of whom the student is the custodial parent

7. For justifiable personal reasons, including, but not limited to: an appearance in court; attendance at a funeral service; observance of a holiday or ceremony of his or her religion; attendance at religious retreats; attendance at an employment conference; or attendance at an educational conference on the legislative or judicial process offered by a nonprofit organization when the student’s absence is requested in writing by parent(s) or guardian(s) and approved by the principal or a designated representative pursuant to the uniform standards established by the governing board of the school district

8. For the purpose of serving as a member of a precinct board pursuant to Section 12303 of the Elections Code

9. For the purpose of spending time with a member of the pupil's immediate family, who is an active duty member of the uniformed services, as defined in Section 49701, and has been called to duty for, is on leave from, or has immediately returned from, deployment in a combat zone or combat support position

(The length of the excused absence is up to the discretion of the district superintendent.)

I would request the necessary day or days off for the meet in writing. Keep a copy of your request and their response. IF they are (insert your choice of word here) about it and say no, take the time anyways. If they say anything, remember ... your daughter has a 4.0 ... you will be out of there at the end of the school year ... and the SARB would basically just tell you to bring your daughter to school.

 

[MILgymFAM]

From the PUSD website. I guess we will probably say she is sick. My hubby's career can be adversely affected by any legal actions. Even if she mentions it after the fact, it wouldn't be to the attendance officer, and they really are unable to enforce the illness one, since they don't ask for a dr note until after 3 days in a row.

"Excused absences
According to State law, only absences for illness, doctor/dentist appointments, bereavement, religious observance, and court hearings are considered excused. Parents are responsible for informing (with a note or by telephone) the school attendance clerk of the reason for the student’s absence within three days of the student’s return to school. If the school is not provided with an acceptable reason for the student’s absence (per Education Code §48205) within three days of the student’s return to school, the absence will be recorded as unexcused in the student’s attendance record.

California Truant Laws
Attending school is required for children between the ages of 5 – 18. Per California Education Code §48260, any student who is absent from school without a valid excuse for three full days is truant. Any student who is tardy or absent for any 30-minute period during the school day, without a valid excuse on three occasions during one school year, is classified as truant."

 

[gymmomtoo]

Don't have that issue here--sports things are excused as long as parent writes the note. I would call her in sick, if they are that inflexible. Regarding the law--you have a valid excuse, but the school just isn't accepting it. She's clearly not truant.

 

[raenndrops]

Yep, she would be truant... technically. Since they didn't allow the wedding and probably charged her for the extra 3 days for the funeral, she would be habitually truant. That would probably result in a meeting with the SARB. The SARB would realize she wasn't really truant. AND you could bring up what the principal had told you before. He was unprofessional. SARB is more concerned with truants who are in danger of failing... not a gymnast with a 4.0 that had a meet.

Go with the sick excuse. Make sure she coughs once before you call the school. Then you aren't lying.