WAG Mobility question anyone!

[mmcmanus]

BTW, thanks to all who posted here! I really appreciate all your feedback! I am just not very good at posting yet!

 

[Seeker]

I am just not very good at posting yet!

You're doing fine.

 

[gymboymom]

I think your dd must be very talented. That is very low hours for doing so well. I don't know how optionals would do enough conditioning at 10 hours to be successful though. Sounds like your gym has very few optionals. Moving gyms would be very hard. I understand that. It really depends on your dd s goals. I wouldn't want a change to drive her out of the sport. So she might be better off staying. But I would not want to pay for 2 seasons this year with the successes she already had (would be hard to replicate and could be frustrating for her also) and the negativity would bother me too.

 

[mmcmanus]

I think so! But I'm a mom!
Thanks for your thoughts too! Everyone's thoughts help me to think about it from a lot of different perspectives! She does definitely have a gift that is noticed by most everyone who watches her perform. Coaches from other gyms, judges, and other parents always watch her and many times comment on how they love to watch her. maybe it is just the passion she has for performing the sport that permeates. I just want to do my best by her and I don't know what that is! But all these posts are helping me!

 

[beamer]

Sandbagging rears its ugly head again!

Mmcmanus, your instincts are correct. Your daughter should not be competing new L5, for herself and the for the other unfortunate gymnasts who will have to compete against her. And the excuse for this is the lack of a cast handstand? Bah.

Your coach just wants to win meets.

I am assuming, since you have not mentioned new L6, that maybe your gym will not be competing it? If your DD's gym is competing the new level, though, what would be his excuse for not having her compete it, since cast handstands (straddle or otherwise) are not required?

She is 12 and talented. This is a no-brainer; she should move.

 

[saddlupasb]

After reading the entire thread, she should move. You say her goals are to continue on to college and make Elite. This gym is not going to get her there. It is as simple as that.

As much as moving makes you/her nervous, you've got to think about her long term goals. And why does she have to learn to deal with constant negativity in something she's obviously talented in and loves. Sure we all deal with negativity in life but I know I don't put up with it for long. She shouldn't learn that it is the norm.

 

[bookworm]

Thanks Seeker, I will have that conversation with her. She does have long term goals and wants to continue into college, and try to make elite.

Not to burst your bubble, but in her current gym, neither of these are likely to happen...she's 12 and they want her to repeat a compulsory level when it seems from your description, she's done well enough to move up...so in your present gym, best case scenario is that at 13, she finally hits the optional world as a new 6, and from how you've described your coach, he's unlike to progress her through the levels toward an elite goal ( if you figure age 13 , level 6...14, level 7...15, level 8...16, level 9 ...and 17 , level 10...and that's IF he moves her a level a year)...and elite is beyond Level 10 so you get my drift...

I think you're right on the money when you say your coach "likes to win" and you feel like that's why he's holding her back. A ringer is what we call gymnasts like her who are held back by their gyms so their gyms will have the State Champ. I don't necessarily think your coach has your daughters best interests at heart in making his decision to hold her back, or maybe he thinks she'd like winning everything at the same level again...I would be looking for a place that would progress her...

 

[mmcmanus]

"As much as moving makes you/her nervous, you've got to think about her long term goals. And why does she have to learn to deal with constant negativity in something she's obviously talented in and loves."

You make a lot of sense! I agree. I hate that nagging feeling, which is probably why I posted here. I think the repeating a competition level was one more thing in a long list of hesitations that I have been having. And I am not the only parent. I am going to start some conversations with DD to hopefully get her to come to some conclusions as well. The negativity has been a serious issue. He takes a reverse psychology (a you are going to fail message) that probably costs him athletes because many just roll over and quit in defeat. He's not good at using it in a motivating way, rather he comes across as if he has no faith in their ability. But he doesn't typically discriminate, and does it to all pretty equally, so I have helped my DD not personalize, which has helped her process it, but I hate the never ending negative pressure where the words "that's a little better" are sometimes the only compliment they get in months...
Thanks for your food for thought!

 

[mmcmanus]

?..and elite is beyond Level 10 so you get my drift...
... I don't necessarily think your coach has your daughters best interests at heart in making his decision to hold her back, or maybe he thinks she'd like winning everything at the same level again...I would be looking for a place that would progress her...

I am glad to know that I am not crazy. That is my constant battle, does he have her best interest at heart? I don't really know, but I guess I should feel confident about that with anyone I trust my child with. Thanks for getting me to think!

 

[mmcmanus]

Sandbagging rears its ugly head again!

Mmcmanus, your instincts are correct. Your daughter should not be competing new L5, for herself and the for the other unfortunate gymnasts who will have to compete against her. And the excuse for this is the lack of a cast handstand? Bah.

Yes, even though she was the first one to achieve handstand with straddle. At first it was great, then not allowed.

Your coach just wants to win meets.

I am assuming, since you have not mentioned new L6, that maybe your gym will not be competing it? If your DD's gym is competing the new level, though, what would be his excuse for not having her compete it, since cast handstands (straddle or otherwise) are not required?

He goes back and forth on 6 or 7 and from what we understand 7 hasn't changed and so 45 from handstand is no deduction. His word is a moving target. If DD fell on beam or jumped off the back in a cast squat, he made a huge issue, and put her in the lower level group for weeks to motivate (I say punish) her. I am amazed at her when I recall these things. He made her do nothing but cast squat ons for months in level 5 and 6 because he saw her jump off the back, when teammates all do even still at times, and she didn't get to work on free hips for three months when everyone else was, and for a while, the more negative pressure and public belittling, the more she missed on skills she had down pretty well. when i think about it she has been held back, and pressured so many times, she really should be in level 8 this year. but still she is always overcomes and becomes state champ...

She is 12 and talented. This is a no-brainer; she should move.

Thanks for making me think!

 

[mmcmanus]

Obviously, I still don't get how to quote! My comments are mixed into the quote! Sorry!

 

[Deleted member 14190]

3 issues here. One being the straight body cast requirement, which is fine if that has always been the policy,(I don't agree with it but each gym is entitle to its own requirements.) If its a new policy the well.... Good luck
Two, Being your statement that your daughter is STILL weak on bars and scored a 8.45, and Her angles are all still low. Well,,, no harm in doing a season of new 5 , except for....
Third issue being, SHE. already won AA as a old 6 !!!! No you don't repeat an all-around state champion unless the child has hit a brick wall has serious fear issues and simply cannot move onto the next.....

 

[Seeker]

I am glad to know that I am not crazy. That is my constant battle, does he have her best interest at heart? I don't really know, but I guess I should feel confident about that with anyone I trust my child with. Thanks for getting me to think!

You are absolutely not crazy. I think you have to put the wheels in motion to get her out of that environment. Her coach has his best interest as the central focus...not hers. And he sounds mean. My DD would not thrive with that reverse psychology method....it isn't right to play mind games with children.

 

[mmcmanus]

3 issues here. One being the straight body cast requirement, which is fine if that has always been the policy,(I don't agree with it but each gym is entitle to its own requirements.) If its a new policy the well.... Good luck
Two, Being your statement that your daughter is STILL weak on bars and scored a 8.45, and Her angles are all still low. Well,,, no harm in doing a season of new 5 , except for....
Third issue being, SHE. already won AA as a old 6 !!!! No you don't repeat an all-around state champion unless the child has hit a brick wall has serious fear issues and simply cannot move onto the next.....

Thanks! I wanted a coach's perspective! And she does still have work to do on bars, but I was wondering if the focusing on learning a new routines and the same skills would impact her being able to improve and perfect her level 7 skills. She needs polishing time for skills. he hasn't started choreographing floor and beam for them. He does that himself, not by hiring a choreographer so he waits on that until close to season. As for bars, it isn't a strength issue, just figuring the lean and timing but she doesn't get much practice. Coach told us that she and her teammate would move directly to 7 after state in December but I'm not sure that will give her enough time to get skills and routines perfected for a decent level 7 season. Thanks again for coaching input! I really appreciate that!

 

[mmcmanus]

You are absolutely not crazy. I think you have to put the wheels in motion to get her out of that environment. Her coach has his best interest as the central focus...not hers. And he sounds mean. My DD would not thrive with that reverse psychology method....it isn't right to play mind games with children.

Thanks so much! I started some light conversations with her last night. I hope to get her to think about her goals without talking negatively about her coach. Touchy touchy! But you are right, the negativity isn't healthy and it is pretty bad at times. He has stormed out at the end of meets not staying for awards, when they did less than perfect. No high fives, knuckles, or pats on the back. If they make an error in a meet, he is mad at them. but they are kids. You have made me think of things I have tried to overlook...

 

[Natasha]

Thanks so much! I started some light conversations with her last night. I hope to get her to think about her goals without talking negatively about her coach. Touchy touchy! But you are right, the negativity isn't healthy and it is pretty bad at times. He has stormed out at the end of meets not staying for awards, when they did less than perfect. No high fives, knuckles, or pats on the back. If they make an error in a meet, he is mad at them. but they are kids. You have made me think of things I have tried to overlook...

This is not okay. Meets are a time for celebrating and showing off what they can do. Sometimes there are going to be errors, and that is when you get back to work in the gym the next day. You are right, this negativity is not healthy at all.

 

[Gym Beam]

Thanks so much! I started some light conversations with her last night. I hope to get her to think about her goals without talking negatively about her coach. Touchy touchy! But you are right, the negativity isn't healthy and it is pretty bad at times. He has stormed out at the end of meets not staying for awards, when they did less than perfect. No high fives, knuckles, or pats on the back. If they make an error in a meet, he is mad at them. but they are kids. You have made me think of things I have tried to overlook...

I agree with gymtigermom. This is not a role model I would want for my DD. Yes, the girls' performance is a reflection on his club, but that's overshadowed by his "performance" in a negative way. If possible, I wish you, mmcmanus, a better environment for your DD. It looks like he needs her more, than she needs him. Good luck!

 

[bogwoppit]

He has stormed out at the end of meets not staying for awards, when they did less than perfect. No high fives, knuckles, or pats on the back. If they make an error in a meet, he is mad at them. but they are kids. You have made me think of things I have tried to overlook...

What a complete arse.

Would you let anyone treat you that way? Would you be okay with a friends parents treating your dd that way?

The man needs to get a grip, that stuff is totally not okay. No self respecting coach walks out of a meet and ditches their kids for awards, EVER.

 

[beamer]

Go Bog!

Mmcmanus: your daughter needs to move in two ways -- from old L6 to new L6 or 7 and...the heck out of that gym.

Good luck to you and your DD; you are doing a great job trying to muddle through this really difficult situation!

 

[gymdog]

Coach told us that she and her teammate would move directly to 7 after state in December but I'm not sure that will give her enough time to get skills and routines perfected for a decent level 7 season. Thanks again for coaching input! I really appreciate that!

That doesn't make a lot of sense to me. It seems like the only reason to repeat is to win again and she would benefit from using the time to improve her skills if she's going to move to 7 in December. I thought maybe he meant she wasn't ready and there was no possibility of her going to 7, but this sounds he knows she is capable of competing 7 but still wants her to compete 5 first...that doesn't seem right to me. Maybe if she had some sort of confidence or fear issue that would benefit from it, but that doesn't sound to be the case.

Are there other gym options? It just doesn't sound like this is working out for you guys.