GherkinMama
Proud Parent
Ok, this is my first post here. And it's long. After talking about the problem to my friends, who just didn't get it, I turn to you whose expert advice I really need.
My daughter is 5 years old and in Kindergarten. She has been doing gymnastics since she was three, progressing to 3 x a week intermediate 6-8 years old classes in September and then in January she was invited to join the newest incarnation of the Pre-Team. It is varied ages but all similar skills. I would put them at levels 1 and 2 if I had to. The coach is tough, but fair for the most part. When she was invited, I asked the coach to tell me honestly if she thought a 5 year old could handle it. It makes her new schedul2 2 x a week for 2 hour sessions. I know my child, she is strong, she loves gymnastics and is a very fast learner. But and this is a huge BUT she is and can be a rather emotional child. I reminded the coach of this. She assured me that they would all progress together and that she would do great. She is the youngest on this pre-team. In the beginning, there were no issues. The last bunch of sessions have been another story. She was kicked out of practice for having a temper tantrum in the gym. she apologized to the coach and was an exemplary student, for a while. Then the tantrums started creeping back up. Back talk to the coach, issues with other students. Last practice, (after a 3 week absence due to illness) she was kicked out again. It was at the end of practice, and she had thrown a pout fit midway as well. The coach, marched her to the door, called me into the gym with a brusque attitude, then stated loudly that she was not going to put up with this. She's in Pre-team and shes the only one who doesn't get it, and can't get along with the other kids. I am done with this. Meanwhile my child is in full meltdown mode, bawling and saying she doesn't want to leave. I take her out into the waiting room full of other parents and try to calm her down, she gets even wilder and by this point is completely irrational. I ended up having to pick her up and carry her to the car. While she is kicking and screaming.
I am at a loss, a complete loss to understand this. By all other accounts, school and (previous) gymnastics activities, she is well behaved, she doesn't throw fits on a general basis. She is 5 and by all means acts 5, she pushes boundaries and tests her wings and her limits at home. We are a fairly strict home and do not put up with that kind of attitude. Mainly using the removal of privileges as a consequence. I have only seen this behavior outside of the gym one time and that was when her bully of a cousin threatened her with harm if she didn't play a game with her (the girls mother and I both heard it) my daughter was apoplectic with the injustice and rage of the situation. My daughter is very snuggly, she is sweet and loving but she is also VERY hard on herself and gets easily frustrated when something that she is doing isn't right immediately.
Now, I know that the coach was right in removing her from the class. I understand her frustration and irritation. After all, I had the very same emotions. I don't believe it was fair to the other girls on the team to have to deal with a screaming team mate. However, am I wrong in feeling that the method of public shaming was a bit inappropriate? Is that helpful? I want to be a good gym mom. I want to support her coach and my daughter and yet I find myself deeply frustrated. I am unsure of how to proceed. I don't want her to be biased against because of past behavior, I want to get her to correct this attitude, and I think we can do it, but I am so worried that the coach has already written her off. That any conversation we will have regarding this subject will be disregarded.
I have talked to my daughter at length over why this keeps happening and I cannot get a clear answer from her. She doesn't believe that the team training is too hard, or that the kids are mean, she wants to go to practice and gets very upset when I ask if she rather go back to her old classes for now until the next invite session. She says she doesn't want to quit.
I need all the help I can get here and any advice is greatly appreciated. Her next practice is this afternoon.
Thank you!!!
My daughter is 5 years old and in Kindergarten. She has been doing gymnastics since she was three, progressing to 3 x a week intermediate 6-8 years old classes in September and then in January she was invited to join the newest incarnation of the Pre-Team. It is varied ages but all similar skills. I would put them at levels 1 and 2 if I had to. The coach is tough, but fair for the most part. When she was invited, I asked the coach to tell me honestly if she thought a 5 year old could handle it. It makes her new schedul2 2 x a week for 2 hour sessions. I know my child, she is strong, she loves gymnastics and is a very fast learner. But and this is a huge BUT she is and can be a rather emotional child. I reminded the coach of this. She assured me that they would all progress together and that she would do great. She is the youngest on this pre-team. In the beginning, there were no issues. The last bunch of sessions have been another story. She was kicked out of practice for having a temper tantrum in the gym. she apologized to the coach and was an exemplary student, for a while. Then the tantrums started creeping back up. Back talk to the coach, issues with other students. Last practice, (after a 3 week absence due to illness) she was kicked out again. It was at the end of practice, and she had thrown a pout fit midway as well. The coach, marched her to the door, called me into the gym with a brusque attitude, then stated loudly that she was not going to put up with this. She's in Pre-team and shes the only one who doesn't get it, and can't get along with the other kids. I am done with this. Meanwhile my child is in full meltdown mode, bawling and saying she doesn't want to leave. I take her out into the waiting room full of other parents and try to calm her down, she gets even wilder and by this point is completely irrational. I ended up having to pick her up and carry her to the car. While she is kicking and screaming.
I am at a loss, a complete loss to understand this. By all other accounts, school and (previous) gymnastics activities, she is well behaved, she doesn't throw fits on a general basis. She is 5 and by all means acts 5, she pushes boundaries and tests her wings and her limits at home. We are a fairly strict home and do not put up with that kind of attitude. Mainly using the removal of privileges as a consequence. I have only seen this behavior outside of the gym one time and that was when her bully of a cousin threatened her with harm if she didn't play a game with her (the girls mother and I both heard it) my daughter was apoplectic with the injustice and rage of the situation. My daughter is very snuggly, she is sweet and loving but she is also VERY hard on herself and gets easily frustrated when something that she is doing isn't right immediately.
Now, I know that the coach was right in removing her from the class. I understand her frustration and irritation. After all, I had the very same emotions. I don't believe it was fair to the other girls on the team to have to deal with a screaming team mate. However, am I wrong in feeling that the method of public shaming was a bit inappropriate? Is that helpful? I want to be a good gym mom. I want to support her coach and my daughter and yet I find myself deeply frustrated. I am unsure of how to proceed. I don't want her to be biased against because of past behavior, I want to get her to correct this attitude, and I think we can do it, but I am so worried that the coach has already written her off. That any conversation we will have regarding this subject will be disregarded.
I have talked to my daughter at length over why this keeps happening and I cannot get a clear answer from her. She doesn't believe that the team training is too hard, or that the kids are mean, she wants to go to practice and gets very upset when I ask if she rather go back to her old classes for now until the next invite session. She says she doesn't want to quit.
I need all the help I can get here and any advice is greatly appreciated. Her next practice is this afternoon.
Thank you!!!