Parents Talent v. Expense

[A's Mom]

Just like all of yours, my daughter LOVES gymnastics. It's a big part of her identity. She's about to start competing level 3, so we're at the beginning of an intense journey. We love the strength and discipline and passion she gets from it, but I have a blunt, awkward concern. We aren't wealthy people and this is only getting more expensive. It's also time-consuming, which means she's not doing any other activities. She's 8. She needs a childhood, though she would always opt to be at the gym.

She's driven, but seems to be settling into the middle of the pack on her team. When we step back and look at it, gymnastics is a stupid financial decision for us, and there are other activities that grow strength and character. I'm never going to say "get better or you have to quit," but this is too expensive (in terms of money and time) for me to not worry about where it's all going.

If you are also not wealthy, how do you handle this? We've been honoring and prioritizing her joy, and she does have talent, but at what point are we just being financial idiots? Help me justify this!

 

[Freddy's Fred]

Just like all of yours, my daughter LOVES gymnastics. It's a big part of her identity. She's about to start competing level 3, so we're at the beginning of an intense journey. We love the strength and discipline and passion she gets from it, but I have a blunt, awkward concern. We aren't wealthy people and this is only getting more expensive. It's also time-consuming, which means she's not doing any other activities. She's 8. She needs a childhood, though she would always opt to be at the gym.

She's driven, but seems to be settling into the middle of the pack on her team. When we step back and look at it, gymnastics is a stupid financial decision for us, and there are other activities that grow strength and character. I'm never going to say "get better or you have to quit," but this is too expensive (in terms of money and time) for me to not worry about where it's all going.

If you are also not wealthy, how do you handle this? We've been honoring and prioritizing her joy, and she does have talent, but at what point are we just being financial idiots? Help me justify this!

Whether or not she is "good" should not be a factor in your decision-making about the sport. The expense and time commitment certainly should be. Whether or not it is something that she loves certainly should be.

Also, it's a long road from level 3 to level 10. How she stacks up again her teammates will change every year.

 

[MeetDirector]

A's Mom -

You are correct - you are starting on what would be a VERY expensive journey if she sticks it out to Level 10.

Our dd was not the top of the pack gymnast in the beginning either, but the sport was her passion. We did not have a money tree in the back yard and paid for private school at the same time.

I would not make the decision based on her current gymnastics abilities; sometimes something happens at a later level and things just click and she will be at the top of the pack. That was our dd's story. However, in the end while she dipped her toe in the college gym arena, she (emphasis on she) determined it wasn't for her. But at this point she was a high school senior.

In our state, there was no competition at the upper optional levels outside of her gym. This meant that every season had at least 6 trips to meets in other states all requiring air travel and multiple nights of a hotel. We have never totaled up what we spent on gym, but if I had to guess it would be $30K or higher. This is not a sport for the weak of wallet.

If its important that she be allowed to pursue her passion (it was for our dd) then you have to find a way to minimize the expense. It is not easy, but I know it can be done. You do have to choose to do it though and it is not an easy thing.

Good Luck.

 

[MILgymFAM]

We are not wealthy by any stretch. For me the talent discussion (which has always been a non discussion *for us*) and the money discussion are separate. It is equally worth it or not worth it if they’re going to be last place indefinitely or heading to the olympics. We can either figure out the money or not, but discussions of the worth of continuing never center around talent. For us? It’s been a financial struggle but it’s been worth that struggle for intangible reasons. My daughter breathes gymnastics. It’s helped inform who she is as a woman, and it’s given her an important outlet where it’s perfectly acceptable to “fail”- again and again, and still get to keep trying.

 

[Gymmom826]

We don’t have a lot of money either. I had to go to work. Every family has to make their own decision. If there is a true passion for the sport then go forward. If not, maybe just go recreational or less expensive route. But they will always benefit from gymnastics.

 

[A's Mom]

Thanks for helping me through the crazy, y'all I'm sure we all have moments when we look at our budgets and think "I'm supposed to be a responsible adult, right?" Ultimately, though, my daughter deeply loves this sport, and we've always supported that passion. It's a good reminder that abilities ebb and flow.

 

[Tbrov]

Check if your gym offers scholarships or financial aid. Ours does.

 

[Mrsboots87]

My daughter LOVES gymnastics and we are also not wealthy. I work an extra shift just about every week (nurse who works 3 12s each week normally and father with blue collar decent paying job) to make it work. My youngest just joined pre team as well. For us we make it work because it’s what they love. She will likely not be a collegiate athlete as she is in the middle of the pack in Xcel and started after 6. So for us the long term financial aspect isn’t a hinderance.

She loves being on a team and competing. Xcel gives her that chance without quite as much stress and time commitment as the JO track. Her gym is a pretty high nationally ranked gym for both JO and Xcel, so the cost is not much less then JO until about level 7/8 when the JO cost increases significantly. She tried a few other sports and dance before landing in gymnastics.

You may find that if your daughters heart is in Gym, then she may not find as much fulfillment and ultimately learn less strength and commitment if moving to another sport. Long term, most athletes are not going to become college athletes or pros. So, no matter which sport you sink your money into, long term it is likely just going to be for the enjoyment and growth of your child until they are out of high school anyway. Gym is just at the higher end of that cost spectrum ha.

 

[gymnastmom05]

I personally think each family is different as far as how far they will go (expense/time/driving, etc). I know we could be using that money to pad her college account and the financially responsible person in me says that's a much better decision on paper. We have things that if it were to come down to it that we wouldn't sacrifice for in order for our DD to do gym. We are by no means rich but our needs are met so I don't need to worry about the what we consider the basics (food/housing/clothing/transportation/insurance/savings). We also won't chose gymnastics if it means no family vacations. Now, some years are better than others so it could mean our vacations are shorter or less exciting or even tied in with a travel gym meet but I would never deny my entire family the experience of annual family vacations because one child was doing such an expensive sport. But, that's my family. Other families don't find vacations to be a priority. Other families (my sibling) won't allow their family time to be eaten up by a sport so much. You have to find what is ok for your family dynamic because EVERYONE ranks priorities differently.

 

[bookworm]

Ballparking it with 2 girls in gymnastics from preteam until level10 ....at least $10,000 a year per kid, including gas, travel, hotels , flights, leos , warm up suits , gym tuition, choreography....not for the faint of wallet.

I get that people don't want you to make a decision based on her talent now but my take on this is if you are having money issues now, at level 3, it will only get worse, much much worse. It would be a kindness to your daughter to cut bait now and have her move on to a less expensive sport or hobby that you think your family budget could sustain longterm.

I never think a family should be at the brink of financial ruin for a sport, period.

 

[MILgymFAM]

Ballparking it with 2 girls in gymnastics from preteam until level10 ....at least $10,000 a year per kid, including gas, travel, hotels , flights, leos , warm up suits , gym tuition, choreography....not for the faint of wallet.

I get that people don't want you to make a decision based on her talent now but my take on this is if you are having money issues now, at level 3, it will only get worse, much much worse. It would be a kindness to your daughter to cut bait now and have her move on to a less expensive sport or hobby that you think your family budget could sustain longterm.

I never think a family should be at the brink of financial ruin for a sport, period.

I think the point, though, is that if gym truly puts you at the brink of financial ruin (your own definition of it anyway) then it really doesn’t matter how talented the kid is. They shouldn’t be doing an expensive activity and the family should be looking for free or very low cost activities. There are ways to mitigate costs though, if it isn’t that dire a situation. There are some scholarships that exist, though not common or easy to find. There are Ys and other gym leagues that may be cheaper. There is xcel, which is sometimes cheaper, and there is rec. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

 

[triplethreat+1]

We are in a similar situation- my dh likes to say that we will have to live next to factories when we retire thanks to gymnastics.
I had two dds on team, but we pulled my ODD at the end of last season. Not for lack of talent- she is mid to upper of the pack, and has way more natural ability than my MDD who is still competing (so unfair!). We decided it was time to move on because she was using gym as social time and often complained during comp season as she found the repetitive routines boring. Plus she had a foot/hip issue. She does miss gym somewhat and has been trying to keep up her flexibilty, but is happily doing art lessons at the moment.
Anyways, my point being, we are willing to fit gym in the budget for my MDD because of the effort and persistence she puts in.
Also, while we have usually chosen the lower hour option when possible, I can see the costs for all the levels when we get our package at the beginning of each season and know that we will be able to manage to keep her in at higher levels as well (she is level 3 currently).

 

[Peachy88]

A lot of xcel programs are much cheaper and the pack of talent can be a little less dense depending on where you live. This may be a more financially smart decision for your family. We are def. not swimming in money and switching to a more expensive gym because we’re crazy?!?!? You only love once and this kid is never happier than when in the gym...

 

[rjb123]

It is a ton of money and it just gets more expensive the higher up they go. I think that it truly is a personal decision based on your individual comfort level regarding finances. That said, I would NEVER advocate someone doing this sport (or any sport!) if it caused severe financial distress/ family instability. It is just not smart (imo) or worth it. There are SO many other things that kids can do that teach the same lessons!

 

[Ty’s Dad]

Just like all of yours, my daughter LOVES gymnastics. It's a big part of her identity. She's about to start competing level 3, so we're at the beginning of an intense journey. We love the strength and discipline and passion she gets from it, but I have a blunt, awkward concern. We aren't wealthy people and this is only getting more expensive. It's also time-consuming, which means she's not doing any other activities. She's 8. She needs a childhood, though she would always opt to be at the gym.

She's driven, but seems to be settling into the middle of the pack on her team. When we step back and look at it, gymnastics is a stupid financial decision for us, and there are other activities that grow strength and character. I'm never going to say "get better or you have to quit," but this is too expensive (in terms of money and time) for me to not worry about where it's all going.

If you are also not wealthy, how do you handle this? We've been honoring and prioritizing her joy, and she does have talent, but at what point are we just being financial idiots? Help me justify this!

I hear ya we pay damn near $1600 a month and my daughter is at 30+ hours a week. She’s 9 years old and level 7/8, she loves gymnastics and I love seeing her win and travel places but everyday I think of where this money can go.

 

[Star078]

I understand where you are coming from. I have three competitive gymnasts. My older daughter has a lot of talent for the sport. She isn’t off to the olympics or anything like that but usually places in the All around at comps and has had a natural ability for gymnastics since she was young. We chose this sport for her when she was young because of her talent. My other two daughters have just sort of followed along because we are always at gymnastics. The other two enjoy the sport a lot but don’t have the same natural talent as my oldest. They are progressing through the levels and the sport is becoming extremely expensive for our family. From a financial point of view I know the younger two aren’t going to get as far in the sport so an easy way to save the money is to stop them competing and put them in something else but i can’t do that. It was never part of my criteria that they have to be good at it, they just need to love it and try hard which they do. That bill is becoming bigger and bigger though

 

[MzPolarbear]

I hear you! I worry about this as well. We are a single income family as I stay home and homeschool our two kids. My daughter (age 10) just finished her first year as a level 4. And I was a little relieved at the end of season to realize that by doing 4 again next year, meant one more year of compulsory, which is cheaper than optionals! My daughter also is middle of the pack but she loves and it and works hard.

But it is a serious discussion to have...as it is expensive. But when I talk to my friends with kids in hockey, cheer, competitive soccer, etc...it is not really outside of what those sports run as well. There are ways to go "cheaper" such as moving to Excel or a local rec league. Those are other great options and great programs that kids can still learn and grow and advance their skills.

Does your gym have a Booster Club? Joining ours really helped me to learn about what to expect as my daughter progresses through this sport, as well as earn money for those extras like leos, grips, camps, etc. It can really help at least make a dent in the cost.

Good luck to your daughter!

 

[Deleted member 18037]

It's also time-consuming, which means she's not doing any other activities. She's 8. She needs a childhood, though she would always opt to be at the gym.

She's driven, but seems to be settling into the middle of the pack on her team. When we step back and look at it, gymnastics is a stupid financial decision for us, and there are other activities that grow strength and character. I'm never going to say "get better or you have to quit," but this is too expensive (in terms of money and time) for me to not worry about where it's all going.

If you are also not wealthy, how do you handle this? We've been honoring and prioritizing her joy, and she does have talent, but at what point are we just being financial idiots? Help me justify this!

My slightly more than 2 cents

Regarding “childhood” our idea of childhood may not be theirs. My kid is not going to do high level like Elite/College. But she has made it Optionals. We have found a gym that has reasonable hours and allows for them to do other things including opting out of the occasional meet. And there are kids who love lots of gymnastics hours. There are different ways to gymnastics. Both on investment of time and money. Excel, IGC, YMCA....Lower hour JO programs

Regarding a “stupid” financial decision and “idiots” vs middle of the pack.

Don’t know your circumstances and options available in your area. But a couple of things.

First it’s impossible to exactly know how it all plays out as they grow through the levels. Some really high scoring placing kids are done by L4. Some low scoring compulsory kids with not so great form, blossom in optionals. In our gym alone the difference between the stronger and weaker kids is much closer now that they are in optionals. And having had years of always on the podium and hardly medaling to sometimes medals, sometimes not. Keeping a kid in a sport shouldn’t be about winning medals. The sport doesn’t happen at a meet. The sport happens all the days in between. The hard work, patience, time management, the friendships, overcoming injuries and mental blocks. That is when the “sport” happens. But even on meet day. Again my kid has had her days of many medals. And I know when of her best days thus far was getting her cast to a vertical handstand for the very first time. She knew when she landed it was a personal best for her and was beaming. No podium finish that day but it’s one of her favorite meet memories. Not sure how far she’ll make it. Level 8 might be her last stop, maybe 9. 10 could happen, but it would be a reach because my kid doesn’t get skills quick. It’s up to her. I tend to see her getting into HS and heading off to varsity sports or some other type of life sport, running, golf, tennis, cross fit and she’ll rock it because of all her gymnastic years.

As far as finances, again I don’t know your circumstances but the money we spend on our kids, beyond meeting their needs is never spent with expectation that it will some how pay us back in the future in a tangible fiscal way. It’s giving them experiences, building them up as humans, offering them opportunities to discover who they are becoming.

My husband says we could of bought a corvette by now. But really we don’t need a ‘vette. We can pay our bills. We are not doing without things we “need”. We are not dipping into our retirement. It’s more then we ever thought we would spend. But it is not a fiscal hardship if it was we would of opted out long ago. And should circumstances change we would be out. The money for gym actually comes from my account not our joint (I split my salary). My husband knows the cost however he says he enjoys gymnastics much better when he doesn’t actually see the money leave our account. .

Would it be nice to have the gymnastics money to spend elsewhere sure but we would spend it elsewhere.

 

[RTT2]

My slightly more than 2 cents

Regarding “childhood” our idea of childhood may not be theirs. My kid is not going to do high level like Elite/College. But she has made it Optionals. We have found a gym that has reasonable hours and allows for them to do other things including opting out of the occasional meet. And there are kids who love lots of gymnastics hours. There are different ways to gymnastics. Both on investment of time and money. Excel, IGC, YMCA....Lower hour JO programs

Regarding a “stupid” financial decision and “idiots” vs middle of the pack.

Don’t know your circumstances and options available in your area. But a couple of things.

First it’s impossible to exactly know how it all plays out as they grow through the levels. Some really high scoring placing kids are done by L4. Some low scoring compulsory kids with not so great form, blossom in optionals. In our gym alone the difference between the stronger and weaker kids is much closer now that they are in optionals. And having had years of always on the podium and hardly medaling to sometimes medals, sometimes not. Keeping a kid in a sport shouldn’t be about winning medals. The sport doesn’t happen at a meet. The sport happens all the days in between. The hard work, patience, time management, the friendships, overcoming injuries and mental blocks. That is when the “sport” happens. But even on meet day. Again my kid has had her days of many medals. And I know when of her best days thus far was getting her cast to a vertical handstand for the very first time. She knew when she landed it was a personal best for her and was beaming. No podium finish that day but it’s one of her favorite meet memories. Not sure how far she’ll make it. Level 8 might be her last stop, maybe 9. 10 could happen, but it would be a reach because my kid doesn’t get skills quick. It’s up to her. I tend to see her getting into HS and heading off to varsity sports or some other type of life sport, running, golf, tennis, cross fit and she’ll rock it because of all her gymnastic years.

As far as finances, again I don’t know your circumstances but the money we spend on our kids, beyond meeting their needs is never spent with expectation that it will some how pay us back in the future in a tangible fiscal way. It’s giving them experiences, building them up as humans, offering them opportunities to discover who they are becoming.

My husband says we could of bought a corvette by now. But really we don’t need a ‘vette. We can pay our bills. We are not doing without things we “need”. We are not dipping into our retirement. It’s more then we ever thought we would spend. But it is not a fiscal hardship if it was we would of opted out long ago. And should circumstances change we would be out. The money for gym actually comes from my account not our joint (I split my salary). My husband knows the cost however he says he enjoys gymnastics much better when he doesn’t actually see the money leave our account. .

Would it be nice to have the gymnastics money to spend elsewhere sure but we would spend it elsewhere.

Thanks for posting this. It was exactly what I needed to read today.

 

[mommyof1]

For me the talent discussion (which has always been a non discussion *for us*) and the money discussion are separate.

This. Talent and money are separate issues. In our family, if we were considering talent beyond "does she have the ability to do this safely and happily?" then she would be spending all her time on a different non-sports activity in which she has amazing talent but almost zero interest.

There is a balancing act where cost is concerned, but it's not with talent. For us it's hassle and expense versus passion and dedication. As parents, we have determined that we are willing to pay for JO gymnastics and make the logistics work as long as our daughter is passionate about gymnastics, works hard, and is getting something valuable out of it other than medals. The things for which we are paying include fitness, self-confidence, positive adult role models, great peer relationships, resilience, and the rewarding experience of being wholly invested in one grand passion. If we had other children or fewer financial resources the decision might come out differently, but talent still wouldn't be a factor.