Trouble with head coach

[BarCoach]

I volunteer 4 days a week, 4 hours a day at a gym I used to coach at. Most people I tell this to, can't believe how generous this seems, especially because I drive an hour to get there. But I love the girls and I want to help them get better. I have been in the process of trying to open another gym, about a half hour from this one. During the whole process I have kept the head coach/owner updated because I don't want there to be a bad relationship between us. I told her last week that I would probably be staying about a month longer, and we decided that I should be "phased out", meaning start coming in fewer practices and hours instead of stopping all at once. I agreed that would be the best thing for the gymnasts. As I was leaving last night, the head coach ran over to me and said, "Don't come tomorrow". I found it really rude the way she said it; bossing me around instead of telling me nicely. She asked me if I remembered our conversation, I said yes, but I didn't know it was going to start immediately and I didn't know she only wanted me there twice a week. We sort of yelled at eachother a little. It just really hurt my feelings. I feel very unwanted. Even when I am there, she has started taking over whatever event I am on, and not letting me lead. I don't know if she is threatened by me opening the other gym or what. I want to say something to her, and I want to create a good relationship for when I leave. Don't know what to do.

 

[gymnut1]

it is normal to volunteer in the UK. We all cant believe how lucky you are to get paid!

Maybe you could give her a little note saying that you realised it feels awkward but you really do want to be professional colleagues and friends when you go. Flatter her, say you are grateful for her help advice, time in the gym whatever. Sooth her ruffled feathers abit. I am assuming you are a man but actually I dont know if you are lol. Not that it matters. Good luck. You have done your best to act nicely.

 

[BlairBob]

I'd guess you are not a male.

To be polite, I'd still shoot her an email or written letter that is polite or perhaps try calling. It'd be more expedient with an email or letter because a phone conversation could just lead to an argument and it isn't worth it.

 

[cheryl1960]

It sounds to me like the coach is a little threatened by you opening another gym, which really doesn't make sense if it's 30 mins away. I am sure there are many parents that will be glad to have a closer gym to attend-I know i would be because I have had to drive a long way to get my daughter to gym!
But anyway getting back to the head coach I would "kill them with kindness". You have done your part by keeping the coach informed, and I think it's really nice of you to continue to drive that long to help the girls-many would not. Just stay professional, thank them for letting you volunteer and be a part of the program at the gym. Tell them what a good experience it has been for you, and that you have grown as a coach from your time there, and that you appreciate the opportunity, but now it's time for you to move on and you will see them at events.
The coach will probably eventually realize that it was inappropriate to act that way and hopefully you can maintain a friendly and professional relationship with them in the future.

 

[gymnut1]

I agree smooooze. lol

 

[Obeg]

Yeah I think it is completely that she feels threatened about your new gym. She is afraid girls will follow you And I bet you hope deep down many do - or if you don't hope it - I bet your investor does. Thats Business. 30 minutes away is really not that far. We drive 20 now and would drive 45 to the better gym across town if we felt it was right for our dd (at the moment its not). Plus 30 minutes away probably means some portion of the girls live 5 to 15 minutes away from your proposed new one.

I don't think I would take it personally. You have to look at it like business and think about what you will do in the same situation 10 years from now when one of your coaches is opening a competitor close by. I would thank her for the opportunity and devote those 4 hours a day to your new venture!