WAG University of Michigan assistant coach arrested

[profmom]

Personally, I don't think age is relevant at all here. The power dynamics are the real problem.

 

[bookworm]

Personally, I don't think age is relevant at all here. The power dynamics are the real problem.

I do to some extent think it must be...say the coach in question was a 22 yo volunteer assistant/assistant who was single, would there be the same level of angst about the situation? I think the bigger issue is that they got arrested and what that can mean for a foreign student...poor judgement aside, she's probably looking for a good immigration lawyer to wade through this whole mess.

And I'm just going to put this out there, I don't think a young woman's life should be ruined for a stupid mistake of the heart. I hope she is able to put this behind her and continue her college studies ( albeit maybe not at Michigan) and move on with the rest of her life and this will be an unfortunate blip in the road.

 

[profmom]

Well, sure, if he were a newly minted volunteer coach, the situation would be different. But he was her coach, a paid employee on UM's staff with the responsibility, presumably, of making decisions that affect her status on the team. That puts them at a significant power differential that has nothing to do with his age or the fact that he is married.

I'm not a fan of age of consent laws generally that call a relationship between a 21 year old and a 17 year old in no particular relationship of power statutory rape. Nothing magic happens at age 18 that suddenly transforms a person from being unable to engage in sexual autonomy at all to being able to make every choice.

 

[MuggleMom]

I'm not a fan of age of consent laws generally that call a relationship between a 21 year old and a 17 year old in no particular relationship of power statutory rape. Nothing magic happens at age 18 that suddenly transforms a person from being unable to engage in sexual autonomy at all to being able to make every choice.

I agree but from a legal perspective they have to draw a line in the sand somewhere-- As parents you need to understand your kids and that at some point, maybe earlier than you would prefer your kid is going to make some choices that you may not agree with and if the only underlying factor is you don't agree with them dont use the law punitively because you don't like someones older boyfriend etc. Ive read some news articles where it sounds like parents don't like the fact that their kid was having sex with their HS sweetheart not there was a "inappropriate" relationship going on--and that's a quick way to ruin someones life.

But that is probably separate from the situation at hand. Overall its just icky the way all the circumstances just come together to and in my opinion whether he groomed the girl or if she even threw herself at him it is his moral (and work) obligation to put a stop to it and not follow through.

 

[coachmolly]

Well, sure, if he were a newly minted volunteer coach, the situation would be different. But he was her coach, a paid employee on UM's staff with the responsibility, presumably, of making decisions that affect her status on the team. That puts them at a significant power differential that has nothing to do with his age or the fact that he is married.

I'm not a fan of age of consent laws generally that call a relationship between a 21 year old and a 17 year old in no particular relationship of power statutory rape. Nothing magic happens at age 18 that suddenly transforms a person from being unable to engage in sexual autonomy at all to being able to make every choice.

I agree that the situation would be different if it were a younger, unmarried, graduate assistant or volunteer coach and not just because of age. My undergrad program was incredibly small and we had a grad student a few years older than us who took a few classes with us but also taught a few classes for the undergrads. He was maybe 28 at the time and there was another undergrad who was on the older side for a college student (25ish) who ended up dating and marrying him, though he was technically her professor for one class. I think this is vastly different than the situation at UM, not just because of the smaller age difference, but because this guy (similar to a graduate assistant or volunteer coach) did not have the ability to get this woman kicked out of the program, impact her grades, or further hinder her academic future. Likewise, there were spaces where they interacted more as peers, also similar to an athlete getting involved with a grad assistant or volunteer. I also imagine he had to clear it with his advisors.
The age differential does matter here, but also the fact that this coach was in a position of power over the athlete. There are lots of employers out there that require people in supervisory positions to okay relationships with a fellow employee they have power over to the HR dept, and that is for people in the professional world, not teens who are barely legal.

 

[bookworm]

The age differential does matter here, but also the fact that this coach was in a position of power over the athlete. There are lots of employers out there that require people in supervisory positions to okay relationships with a fellow employee they have power over to the HR dept, and that is for people in the professional world, not teens who are barely legal.

I wonder how the Utah/Marsden situation was viewed back in the day because he was the original coach at Utah so he definitely had power over the athlete he dated and married......it would be interesting to hear the take on it from that perspective like did the other athletes feel threatened with their position on the team or feel awkward or was it all one big happy group where the coach and an athlete happened to be a couple? I get that times have changed but when you look at this situation , with a large age difference and power differential initially, it all appeared to work out.
So would something like that have been a big issue now, where it wasn't back then...

 

[profmom]

Yeah, it's great when it works out except when it doesn't. As I have always maintained, if it really is true love, it should stay around until after the supervisor/subordinate relationship has ended.

Sometimes change is a good thing. No one thought there was anything wrong when my mother was fired from her really good teaching job as soon as her pregnancy became noticeable. I was unfortunately for her born a few years before the LaFleur case . . .

 

[sewgood]

I wonder how the Utah/Marsden situation was viewed back in the day because he was the original coach at Utah so he definitely had power over the athlete he dated and married......it would be interesting to hear the take on it from that perspective like did the other athletes feel threatened with their position on the team or feel awkward or was it all one big happy group where the coach and an athlete happened to be a couple? I get that times have changed but when you look at this situation , with a large age difference and power differential initially, it all appeared to work out.
So would something like that have been a big issue now, where it wasn't back then...

FWIW, Greg has said that he was wrong, and that it wasn’t fair to Megan or her teammates.

 

[bookworm]

FWIW, Greg has said that he was wrong, and that it wasn’t fair to Megan or her teammates.

Well thanks for answering.

 

[coachmolly]

I wonder how the Utah/Marsden situation was viewed back in the day because he was the original coach at Utah so he definitely had power over the athlete he dated and married......it would be interesting to hear the take on it from that perspective like did the other athletes feel threatened with their position on the team or feel awkward or was it all one big happy group where the coach and an athlete happened to be a couple? I get that times have changed but when you look at this situation , with a large age difference and power differential initially, it all appeared to work out.
So would something like that have been a big issue now, where it wasn't back then...

I've wondered about that as well, I can't imagine it was a completely smooth ride for all involved. And while in their case it did work out, I think it's generally not a great practice. Like Profmom said, if it's really love they can wait it out. But I also feel like the Marsden's weren't the only coach/athlete relationship during that time period, so maybe people just felt differently about that kind of thing 30 some years ago? It would be interesting to hear from people who were on or involved with the team at that time.