Parents Update on Training Group Situation - Long

[Empowered]

Just an update on my post about the L5's and the different training groups/hours.

Another parent and I who's daughters are fairly close to each other skill wise and motivation wise spoke with the team coordinator yesterday. We addressed the following things:

1. Our daughters are feeling bored and like they aren't being challenged in class.
2. The hours for the two groups are different.
3. The behavior issues in our group. I am sure you all remember the fingers in her ears girl who is also the daily practice crier. We also have the hyperactive child who gets sat out almost every practice multiple times for being disruptive. In addition there are 2-3 other girls who also seem to have issues constantly and the time it takes away from training for the coaches to deal with these kids is aggravating.
4. What is the plan for the girls regarding uptraining, etc.
5. The poor performance of the team as a whole.

The response we got was disappointing at best and slightly rude and tactless at most. Despite the fact that the girls are number 2 & 3 score wise in this training group she basically said that neither of them are very good. Despite how well both of them did at States she literally did not have one nice thing to say about either of them as gymnasts. Of course she's never been to a compulsory meet in the entire time we've been competing so she wouldn't know what they look like in competition.

She was shocked when we mentioned behavior saying, "that's still going on?". Cut to when we pick up the girls and the crier is again being sat out crying and the coach is standing there talking to her for 5 minutes trying to calm her down and four other girls are all being sat out for being in trouble while our two daughter are trying like heck to ignore the chaos. It was comical at best.

She did say she thought the hours of the other group was too much for our girls, but didn't explain why there are girls in the other group who are only around 6 months older than our girls. She said they will get plenty of uptraining in the group they are in. So we ask the girls at the end of practice, did you work any L6 skills? They said they did backwalkovers on beam. We said did you do dismounts or full turns? Nope. I said what about bars? Nope, just kips, casts and tap swings. Floor? No, no upgraded tumbling at all. Still wondering when this "uptraining" is going to start...

She blamed the entire team's lack of performance on the judging this year which was again disappointing. Seemed a bit like a cop out really. Yes you can say meets were judged harshly, but they were judged harshly for all the teams at the meets. And there were 9 girls out of this training group of 16 that never scored even 34 over the entire year and we competed a spring season so this was technically a second season.

It just ended with her saying, they're fine and the other parent and I leaving with more questions than we had when we went in. Not to mention being quite angry at the dismissive tone of the entire meeting. I was trying to just kind of blow it off, but then I remembered I am paying just under $450 a month for this training, not to mention another $200-300 in privates monthly to a gym that doesn't seem to care less if my daughter is happy in her training environment.

Argh! What to do... What to do...

Thanks all for listening

 

[Coacharella]

Have you considered changing gyms? I'm a coach and mother and so I see both sides. But, if you are so unhappy , why not look into other options/?

 

[AlexsGymmyMom]

Do you have other options as far as gyms in your area? I am not an advocate of gym hopping but I feel the bigger issue here is the lack of uptraining and the amount of time spent on kids not focused on practicing then with the kids that are working hard. With the amount of money you are paying....you should at least be getting what you pay for. BTW $450 a month is ALOT of money!! We are in the midwest (Missouri) and the monthly tuition at our gym is around $185 per month (L5) 12 hours + meet fees which came to about 850.00 this year. I think I would pass out if the monthly tuition were that high!! lol! Is there anyone else you can talk to at your gym? You spoke with the coach and got nowhere so I would then go above her head to the owner maybe? Good luck and keep us posted!

 

[MaryA]

Wow. Remind me... are there are no other gyms in your area? I would be more concerned with the fact that she didn't take your concerns seriously than with the fact that she won't switch your dd into a different group. Ultimately, you are a consumer here, and while I don't think parents should be able to badger the coaches into moving their child up a level, or whatever, I don't think that this is what was going on here. It sounds like you have some legitimate concerns and that you weren't heard.

 

[Empowered]

This was the Head Coach, not my daughter's coach. She's never coached my daughter personally, she just runs the team program and only coaches optionals. She however makes all the scheduling decisions and class changes so we had to go to her to start.

We've contacted another gym, but I was trying to not have to move her. This other gym (which is a fantastic gym btw) is 15 minutes further away and we already have a 30 min drive so it will add to the communiting, but I don't feel like I have another option at all.

 

[gym law mom]

We hav this whole group training thing going on at our gym---actually the only level not affected is L5. Its become a disaster. One group of 7/8s trains less than the other. The 2 top groups have the same number of hours, but different coaches and the 2 that coach my gymmie's group are simply not qualified to coach L9 and above. They know it and admit it, but yet the HC will not change things around.

9 girls have left---don't know if the groups were the direct cause, but they certainly were a contributing factor. 9 girls out the door and the owner and HC still seem clueless.

I posted about this awhile ago and the wise advise from dunno was: it will turn into a "clustermess." He was so right.

I would take some time and look at the other gym. You could also ask if there are some girls there that might be able to carpool. I can tell you, for $450 I would want Valerie Liukin coming in to coach my dd!

 

[cathiann]

With the response the HC gave you (really, she talked negatively about the girls to you?? Is she trying to get you to leave?), I'd be looking at other gyms. Not that I think a coach should just move a gymnast because the parent wants--Definitely do NOT agree with that--but I do think they need to have a better handle on how things are going now and be able to convey that to the parents better.

 

[Swiftli]

$450+ a month for level 5. Wow! Is this the going rate in your area? because that alone would make me want to travel an extra 15 minutes to goto the other gym (if it was cheaper).

As a little devil's advocate....Is your DD happy at your current gym? How does she feel about all that is happening?

I know I have been ready to leave my DDs gym for about a year now due to coaching "theories" and abilities but my DD is insistant that we stay where she is comfortable and where her friends are. She is 9 so I am hoping one day she will come to realize what I see in her gym. I beleive this is their sport for the long run so they should definetly have a say in where it takes them. Letting them blossom slowly as opposed to placing them in a program with more hours and uptraining isn't always the perfect track for every child.

However, the fact that this coach said discouraging things about your DD to you and was clueless about the behavior issues with the group, I feel would have sent me over the edge regardless. I vote for gym shopping!

 

[gymnut1]

I would say your gym is quite happy with things the way they are. You pay a massive amount of tuition and then have to fork out massively for privates. It is a win win situation for the gym money wise.

Go somewhere else their attitude stinks.

 

[Empowered]

Swift I am not sure what the going rate is, we just kind of take the auto withdrawal and go with it... lol And yes she said some rather unkind things about my daughter. Again I am under no delusions that she is some superstar, but she's a darn hard worker, she never misses class and she tries her hardest.

My daughter is unhappy though. We had scheduled this meeting because the girls were so miserable last week. Her friend actually wrote a letter to 'God' asking him to fix everything. It was sad and sweet at the same time.

My daughter has already asked about changing gyms due to her frustrations but I was pretty convinced we could fix everything by talking to the head coach. Being wrong is clearly my specialty.

Crossing my fingers we can find her a gym home that makes her smile

 

[emandelsmom]

Go somewhere else. That is a crazy amount to pay. I have a level 4 daughter. She is in the gym 4 days a week for 2 hour classes and one hour of tumbling. I pay 150. RUN. If there are other options, seek them out.

 

[flipper's fan]

Changing gyms is extremely painful but if I were in your situation, I would be looking. Mostly because of the way you were treated, not as much because of the practice situation. It's even harder if your daughter likes where she is, but chances are good she'll like another gym too. Especially one that respects her more.

 

[MaryA]

I know I have been ready to leave my DDs gym for about a year now due to coaching "theories" and abilities but my DD is insistant that we stay where she is comfortable and where her friends are. She is 9 so I am hoping one day she will come to realize what I see in her gym. I beleive this is their sport for the long run so they should definetly have a say in where it takes them.

Swiftli...
Me too! All of the above!

 

[MdGymMom01]

Swift I am not sure what the going rate is, we just kind of take the auto withdrawal and go with it... lol And yes she said some rather unkind things about my daughter. Again I am under no delusions that she is some superstar, but she's a darn hard worker, she never misses class and she tries her hardest.

My daughter is unhappy though. We had scheduled this meeting because the girls were so miserable last week. Her friend actually wrote a letter to 'God' asking him to fix everything. It was sad and sweet at the same time.

My daughter has already asked about changing gyms due to her frustrations but I was pretty convinced we could fix everything by talking to the head coach. Being wrong is clearly my specialty.

Crossing my fingers we can find her a gym home that makes her smile

Well, there you have it! Especially since she is unhappy with the situation. You are shelling out a lot of money for your dd to be this unhappy. And the fact that the head coach was saying nasty and rude things about your dd and doesn't really coach her would make me want to leave there in a heartbeat. You are the paying customer and for that coach/owner to have that much disregard for his customers is appalling.

Your dd seems very talented and very sweet from her videos (she also seems to have that quiet determination and hard-working attitude) that make great gymnasts because they are very coachable. She deserves so much more than what she is getting (or not getting) at her current gym.

Good luck and I hope you find a new gym very soon.

 

[Gymnasticgrandkids]

To me, it seems like a no brainer.....I would take your daughter to the other gym for a "trial" class or week and see how it goes...when you are paying what you are paying and driving and spending time in a gym...it seems only reasonable that the child should be happy, be learning and be achieving success...if it isn't happening at the current gym..then it's time for a change. My daughter changed gyms about 2 years ago (1 child was ready for the change, the other wanted to stay with her friends), but both were tired of finishing near the bottom. She now drives them about 25 minutes further and cannot drop and leave because it is a 45 minute drive each way, so she kills time in the malls....but it has been so worth the change....they are moving well up the level ladder and getting minimum of 36's at meets compared to 32's before the change. I say go for it!

 

[Megley]

Wow, all signs point to moving to the new gym, particularly the fact that your dd is unhappy and wants to switch. Sounds like the other family would make the move with you too so she would automatically have a friend at the new gym. The attitude you got from the HC is just unacceptable, particularly since she doesn't even coach your dd and apparently did not even take the time to talk to your dd's coach. Have to agree that what you are paying is outrageously high! We pay $325 a month for 20 hours of training. I hope that's not the going rate in your area and you can actually get a reduction by switching. Good luck!

 

[jdf]

The only thing I can add is that my dd's friend was at a gym that belittled her for what she couldn't do, and she moved to my dd's gym, where they focus on what you can do, and NEVER compare the girls and sort them out by talent.
Dd's friend has bloomed, and is very happy.

Also- I can't believe there is any of that behavior allowed at a team practice. That is just crazy and should not be tolerated.

 

[bogwoppit]

Leave, don't look back. Who would pay $450 to have their kid miserable, ignored and unappreciated.

 

[Panda-girl's Mom]

I agree with the others look for a new gym both you and your daughter are unhappy so why stay if there are other options. IMHO you should not have to pay for privates if they are running the class well the amount you are already paying is enough. Perhaps the coach got took offense to things your brought up such as the team not getting high score but putting your daughter down and saying she is not that good is horrible obviously she is talented I have seen her videos. That attitude alone would make me want to leave.

 

[mtbmom]

I'm sorry to hear of your response. Sounds a lot like our old gym. A very famous gym in PA, with a LOT of unfairness in their pursuit of the one or two that they think will go elite.

RUN do not walk to a better program. Elite gyms are not always the best (you did say that the referenced gym was an elite gym, right?). Go where you're daughter will be coached. It makes ALL the difference.

I know it is hard when you're dd is not getting what she needs, but I would stop right now, immediately... giving them another $200-300 a month for privates. Your are just lining there pockets even more.

I know for a fact in our old gym that they would tell the coaches who to coach and who to just move along. This may be happening where you are.

Again, I'm sorry this is happening and wish there were a better solution. Clearly the gym has no intention of resolving the issue and I wouldn't expect that to change. It never changed for us.

At the new gym my daughter is flourishing and showing the talent that her Mom always knew was there. And she is really loving her sport again.

Last night in the car on our way home from dance she said, "I like dance, but gymnastics is much closer to me. It is what my body is meant to do."