Parents When coach has more confidence

[Butterfly]

It's so hard to be a parent.

My daughter is in between levels and I might be one of the rare parents asking for her to repeat the level. Head coach respectfully tells me we can do that but she doesn't think it's the best place for DD, that she thinks she can do next level, will get skills, wants her to be looking to the future.

I'm here reading and trying not to worry. DD is not at a highly competitive gym, more of an inclusive gym which is why we like it there. I'm reading old posts and trying to trust the process, trust the coach, trust I'm not making a bad decision for my DD.

 

[Flyaway]

It IS hard to be a parent! ((hugs))

you didn't really ask for advice, but is there a reason specifically you think dd should repeat?

 

[GymMom4]

I find that I can usually trust my instincts.

I got the same spiel from DD's coach last year and she really should have repeated. She wasn't ready for her level. So now she is repeating that level this coming season. This time she will be ready.

 

[Butterfly]

Well, I'm going off in spring that was the plan (obviously training up over summer can change things), how my daughter can't do all the skills (cannot/willnot do a pullover on home bar but has been doing the linked back hip circle to dismount on it, coaches say she does have it at practice idk because I don't usually watch except maybe a half hour early pickup), she says L3 is hard, and also miscommunication regarding increased pricing if she moves up (it turns out it is the price I was expecting).

However, after a little convo with head coach telling her she thinks DD can do it, my daughter came home and said practice was 4 thumbs up, had the twinkle in her eye again when talking about gym.

Oh geez I know there are thousands of gyms but I really hope no one figures out where/who we are.

I'm just freaking out, and trying to just suck it up. I don't want to be embarrassed if everyone at meets can tell she wasn't ready yet. My husband says if she is having fun who cares, and that's what I'm trying to get to.

 

[amiandjim]

Are you saying your DD cannot do a pullover but will be competing level 3?

 

[Butterfly]

She can do it at practice but refuses to do it on our home bar.

 

[Flyaway]

Well, I'm going off in spring that was the plan (obviously training up over summer can change things), how my daughter can't do all the skills (cannot/willnot do a pullover on home bar but has been doing the linked back hip circle to dismount on it, coaches say she does have it at practice idk because I don't usually watch except maybe a half hour early pickup), she says L3 is hard, and also miscommunication regarding increased pricing if she moves up (it turns out it is the price I was expecting).

However, after a little convo with head coach telling her she thinks DD can do it, my daughter came home and said practice was 4 thumbs up, had the twinkle in her eye again when talking about gym.

Oh geez I know there are thousands of gyms but I really hope no one figures out where/who we are.

I'm just freaking out, and trying to just suck it up. I don't want to be embarrassed if everyone at meets can tell she wasn't ready yet. My husband says if she is having fun who cares, and that's what I'm trying to get to.

Well, I can speak from experience here. Dd never should have done her first year of level 3. She was simply not ready. Didn't have a BHS, could barely do a mill circle, etc. However, I never felt embarrassed of her performance at meets. Honestly, everyone is too busy worrying about their own kid to care about yours. So I would encourage you to let that fear go.

Dd repeated level 3 the next year and had a MUCH better year. Had she not competed that first year how would things have played out? I honestly don't know. But she is trucking along and carving her own path.

 

[amiandjim]

Oh gotcha, well I don't think that's a problem. Home bars are notoriously wobbly. As far as having the skills, you will see a very wide variety of skill levels at level 3. Some girls will be scoring 37-38+. Some girls will need a spot on the back handspring or might skip it all together the first few meets. If your DD is happy and progressing, I would trust the coach. If she needs to repeat level 3 next year, that's very common.

 

[John]

Do not sweat this. If she does it at the gym, where she is supposed to, then no worries. She and her coach are a team, they have a plan. If you do not like the plan and DD does not like the plan then yes have a talk, but if DD has a twinkle in her eye then no worries.

To be great does not necessarily mean to score great and win meets, it means to get up when you fall and doing the next repetition better than the last. Do this in all aspects of life and you will be successful.

 

[Butterfly]

Thank you everyone!
So very true. I often tell myself we have her in the sport to learn life lessons, not to learn winning. (Sometimes I need reminded and I'm not even a very competitive person!)

It does make the most sense to look forward and train forward even though likely this year won't be a huge success. She will also be in a local less competitive league primarily without award ceremonies. Luckily DD is still in the excited to wear a sparkly Leo and be with friends and get goodie bags at meets stage.

I'm the one that needs to chill and not worry that I'm putting too much pressure on my DD.

 

[Flyaway]

Luckily DD is still in the excited to wear a sparkly Leo and be with friends and get goodie bags at meets stage.

That's exactly what she should be excited about! Good luck to your dd this year!

 

[Butterfly]

Thank you! Thanks for the support in my time of freak out!

 

[John]

Thank you everyone!
So very true. I often tell myself we have her in the sport to learn life lessons, not to learn winning. (Sometimes I need reminded and I'm not even a very competitive person!)

It does make the most sense to look forward and train forward even though likely this year won't be a huge success. She will also be in a local less competitive league primarily without award ceremonies. Luckily DD is still in the excited to wear a sparkly Leo and be with friends and get goodie bags at meets stage.

I'm the one that needs to chill and not worry that I'm putting too much pressure on my DD.

Good mom. I too need to remind myself of this regularly.

 

[MeetDirector]

She can do it at practice but refuses to do it on our home bar.

Good - she shouldn't be doing it at home. Gymnastics stays in the gym; home is for being a kid. Be her biggest fan, not her coach. And yes, trust that the coach has a plan for her gymnastics.

 

[Butterfly]

It's funny I don't find myself to be competitive but for my child it's more of I want the absolute best for her.

At this point I'm so much Not trying to be her coach, her bar st home is firmly a monkey bar

I almost feel like this might be a good time to watch a practice. I'm going off old information and feel insecure. Maybe watching once will help me understand where she is better. I mean, last I saw she had just started BHS and was (spotted) landing them to her stomach (on purpose). Then the other day I caught a glimpse of a ROBHS (spotted) but looked like the other kids. I have no idea about the other events--I typically don't watch much.

 

[LindyHopper]

Warning: long & full of detail about my kid. I tell analogous stories to help explain my point--it's who I am. Moral of story is at the end.

I was nervous at one point. Coach wanted Short Stack to compete L4, and she had just gotten her ROBHS.

I wanted her to compete L3, because I figured she'd have a successful season.

His concern was that if she did L3 she would be bored out of her mind after the first meet.

So, we talked it over with Short Stack. She didn't care about placements at meets. She wanted to continue to be challenged. So, we did L4

She spent L4 & L5 consistently in the bottom 3 on floor (While rocking on beam).

About 6 weeks ago she was told she would compete ROBHSBHS in her L6 floor routine with a goal of ROBHSBLO by States. She was pretty bummed because she felt like that was regressing, but she took it in stride.

Well, about 2.5 weeks ago, something with her timing on tumbling finally clicked and she had power She's never had before. (She told me that she knew what her coaches meant when they gave her corrections, she just couldn't do it.) She asked if she could try some ROBHSBT and all of a sudden they were easy! (and head coach, who is choreographing her floor routine tomorrow, told her that She will be competing it instead of the aformentioned BHSBHS [she is so excited]) She has moved on to training the BLO and says she has it with a light spot. So... who knows? Maybe the BLO will be there by the 2nd meet of the season.

Moral of my really long story: if the twinkle is there, and If being challenged and learning harder skills is more important to her than where she places (talk to her about this--would she be bored repeating?), I would trust her and her coach. She might struggle. She may place low. But if coach has confidence and faith in her and her abilities, it should all come together... eventually.

 

[2gymkids]

Try your hardest to trust her coaches. Honestly. My kid did two years of pre-team and tons of conditioning/skill components and was slated to compete L3. She did her first unspotted back handspring two days before her first meet. She missed part of her bar routine every time. She went to her first meet and, much to our surprise, got 2nd-3rd on every event and 3rd in the all around. She had a decent (not fabulous, but not terrible) season and enjoyed herself immensely. Take a deep breath- she'll be fine, and if she's not, she'll learn from that, too.

 

[sce]

She can do it at practice but refuses to do it on our home bar.

Wise kid

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Wise kid

Yep

 

[notthatmom]

Looking back, now that we are at a gym with a much better philosophy, my DD was not ready for L3 last year. She too didn’t have her BHS, and her mill circle was her kryptonite (seriously who invented that skill? I’d like to have a word with them). Now, her mill circle is fabulous, her BHS is so high and clean that she sometimes accidentally does a back tuck instead (we need to get that in check lol), and her confidence is out of this world!
This year, she is repeating L3 and she’s going to rock it.
At first it made me a little discouraged that she’d have to repeat, but now I am excited to see her thrive and make it on the podium this year.

Her coaches she has now are amazing, and they’re teaching her gymnastics in a way that it should have been done from the beginning. I have so much trust in them and I know they know what they’re doing. I also know they have faith in her, it shows in their coaching style, in her progress, and in the praises and excitement they have when they talk to me about her.

If you truly trust her coaches, then there’s no need to worry. Good luck to you and your DD!!