Parents When to tell coaches that daughter is switching to a new gym

[Dad1234]

After some good advice from others on this forum, my daughter will be switching gyms. She is finishing out her current season and will switch to her new gym in a few months when the new gym starts their new season. How far in advance would be common courtesy to let her current gym know she is leaving? I want to leave on good terms (in case we ever want to go back). I don’t want to let them know too soon in advance as I don’t want her leaving to be taken out on her. But, I also want to be respectful and let them know in advance. She is at a small gym with a small team so word will spread quickly once I tell her coach. I feel bad about leaving since it is such a small gym, but I feel this is the best decision for my daughter. Thanks!

 

[FlippinLilysMom]

Have you already chosen a new gym and has she been accepted to that gym? If so it's very possible word will get back to your current gym even before you have a chance to tell them. The gymnastics world is small and the gym owners/coaches all talk. Just something to keep in mind.

 

[Jenny]

At the beginning of her last session. That way she can say good bye to the girls and coaches that session. She can take some thank you cards/ presents. And then she is done. You can thank the coaches, settle up anything owing and move on. It isn't helpful to drag it out for the girls 'left behind' or for the coaches.

Think about it like ripping a plaster off. A quick rip and be done is less painful than a slow peeling back trying to avoid it hurting.

 

[NutterButter]

It’s not unlike leaving a job. Leave as soon as the new gym will let her start. If they say she can start in June, don’t wait until August to move her. If you give the current gym any notice of a certain length of time before her last day, she may be asked to leave sooner than you we’re thinking.

 

[Carly]

My dd told the head coach/owner on her last day. I agree with the previous poster that your dd could be asked to leave sooner if you tell them before her last day.

If you have already been accepted at the new gym, the current one might find out. When my dd left, she did 2 practices with the new gym and decided to switch. Competition season was already over so it was only about 2 weeks from the first trial practice to the time that she left. The old gym did not find out until she told them.

 

[gymnastmom05]

There are so many factors but you should probably be prepared to leave earlier just in case. When my DD switched gyms, the gym didn't contact or converse with her old gym BUT another parent at the new gym who knew a coach at the old gym blabbed that there were some girls doing a try out. It wasn't all that nice and I'm still miffed that another parent would do that (and this girl has been to multiple gyms so they should know how it feels). Our old gym had enough craziness going on at the time and it wasn't meet season so I nor my daughter were directly asked at old gym. I didn't officially tell them we were done until her last practice of the month (which was only about 3 practices). Sometimes people say they're leaving and they're asked to not come back. Some coaches/owners feel that it's distracting for practice (girls talk about it) and starts rubbing off on other girls and parents. Less time to state the reasons why you're leaving which I understand. Companies do the same thing. When you give your notice at work, you should always expect that your end date might come sooner than what you're willing to give them.

 

[bookworm]

Been there, done that ...

You send your “old gym” an email after your daughter has taken all her stuff out and is done there for good , preferably from your car on your way out.... you divulge nothing before she is done or you will likely be shown the door right then and there.

Your daughter can contact her friends via social media or text after she leaves but again don’t be surprised if your old gym discourages that and her “friends” don’t respond. We know of gyms who forbid their athletes to contact former athletes at their gym...

When we left our original gym because they had lost all their level 10 coaches , I sent out a blast email to the entire parent group informing them of why we were leaving and wished them all the best in the future... this prevented any “stories” of why we left from being circulated. I sent the blast at the same time I sent the email to the coaches thanking them but telling them that we were moving on to a gym with level 10 coaches.

While you might be okay with the move and think you may return someday but I can tell you that your gym is highly unlikely to see it this way and you need to plan accordingly.

 

[MuggleMom]

Plan for the worst and hope for the best. As far as I know our gym has been fine with girls moving to other gyms. We have had some exits over the years but I personally have never heard of a messy exit (with one exception and the drama was on the part of the family not the gym) Our rival gym is literally a stones throw away, but you never know how a gym will react. We are asked to give two weeks notice I think and you have to pay for a month you start whether you finish or not. That seems reasonable to me.

 

[Sk8ermaiden]

I agree, if you have seen families leave, it will give you the best guide. I have seen the first gym my daughter left take many team girls back after they had been to different gyms. I bet our current coaches would as well. Both of those I am sure would be dependent on leaving on good terms, and having been good clients while there. There is so much movement between gyms here.

It is especially helpful if you can frame a departure in terms of something the gym literally can not provide, as opposed to things you are unhappy with. "It's closer to our house, I just can't make the drive anymore." "She wants lower/higher hours." "She wants less intensity." At our first gym, she told them at her last practice and they wished her well. At the second, we gave a month's notice because I wasn't paying a cent more than she actually trained for. It went OK. We left a month before everyone else, so she kind of slid under the radar. He was a jerk at state, but it was that last month before the exodus that was ugly for the girls and we were already g-o-n-e.

In any normal situation, I'd give a month's notice, but be prepared to leave at any time in that month and forefit the tuition if necessary.

 

[jamieintexas]

I am a coach and I say don’t tell them until your last day. You never know how an owner or coach is going to react. In most cases it is worth losing the 30 days notice money to be out of a bad situation, happy children don’t leave.

Now if someone is leaving because they are moving, want something different than the gym can provide, or just transitioning to a new activity then put in your notice with no worries.

 

[Freddy's Fred]

Definitely not until you are getting your grips and saying goodbye. Coaches have no reason to train a gymnast with a foot out the door. But send a nice email to the coaches after the fact thanking them for what they have offered your child.

 

[bookworm]

Now if someone is leaving because they are moving, want something different than the gym can provide, or just transitioning to a new activity then put in your notice with no worries.

and even with these caveats, beware ... we left our gym because the gym had lost its level 10 coaches , and my daughter was a 3rd year 10 , still without a release despite promises to hire a bar/level 10 coach and the gym was furious that we we’re leaving for “any reason other than relocation is not tolerated kindly “... ok then ... so after that fiasco, it was an email after we were out the door...

 

[jamieintexas]

and even with these caveats, beware ... we left our gym because the gym had lost its level 10 coaches , and my daughter was a 3rd year 10 , still without a release despite promises to hire a bar/level 10 coach and the gym was furious that we we’re leaving for “any reason other than relocation is not tolerated kindly “... ok then ... so after that fiasco, it was an email after we were out the door...

I meant Xcel/JO/Team Gym/Rhythmic/Tramp and Tumbling etc...

 

[Deleted member 18037]

You don’t owe any gym extensive notice or lengthy explanations.

I would switch as soon after states/end of season stuff as possible. Depending on your child the beginning of the last day so she can say goodbye.... or just be done.

Thank you we are making some changes. We feel it’s best for our fam at this time.

 

[Cheryl]

One thing to look at is your contract. Some gyms will charge you for a full month whether you leave on the 1st or 31st. What I did was remove my automatic credit card payment and then we left first of the month. I sent coach and owner an email the day before my kids last day. Although I didn’t tell anyone what gym my kid was going too, they knew. The head coach at the new gym was also familiar with my son from meets and when he went in for tryouts already knew which were my kids best events before my kid even did his tryout. So it’s a small world

 

[CuriousCate]

I called the owner/HC directly and talked about it by phone about 3-4 days before my DD quit. I had to keep it positive because my younger DD wanted to stay on the team and my older wanted to leave. I told the owner that I was sad that this was not a good fit for my kid at this time and that she needed some breathing room and fewer hours/less intense environment. I did not expect a great response and was so surprised that she was totally gracious and thanked me for my honesty. I even put her on the spot and asked her for suggestions of other gyms that were "safe but perhaps less intense" so she knew our intention to try out elsewhere and so she felt that we respected her opinion (we do respect opinion, FWIW!). Then I made my child go in with her head held high and give hugs, say bye and thank you and leave. It garnered a reaction that none of us, kid, team, me, coaches expected. They all started crying. I was shocked. I expected gruff dismissals, etc. I honestly think that it was just about the best lesson for me and my kid...integrity and honesty pay off.

 

[Muddlethru]

Assuming it falls under the terms of your contract, you have a gym to go to, I think a week’s notice will show good faith and the sooner the better because as stated above gym coaches/owners talk. If they tell you to leave upon giving notice, a week out of the gym could do your gymnast good. At least you made the effort.

That said, when my daughter switched gyms, I did not give any advanced notice and sent an email/informed the coaches on my daughter’s last day because the coaches have a history of screaming matches, cursing and the whole yard, when gymnasts leave. We did not even tell any of her gym friends, including her best friend. The latter caused major discord because her friend was so hurt she was not told. They eventually patched it up.

 

[Muddlethru]

“Nine yards” ^^^^

 

[Gymmom0403]

We were at a small gym and basically told the owner/coach as we walked out the door. No reason to prolong it. My kid knew to pack up her stuff that day, I talked to coach right before practice was over and we walked out and didn’t look back.

 

[MUTigerMom]

I told the Gym manager and one of her coaches at the start of her last practice. Coach #2 (the reason she left) wasn’t told until she was hugging everyone good-bye at the end of practice. (Obviously this took the cooperation of the manager and 1st coach). We did this immediately after she was offered a spot at both gyms that she tried. I am glad we didn’t prolong this. Several girls at that gym left at the same time. Several finished out the month and were subjected to snide comments from coach #2 as he loudly and pointedly refused to coach them at all.