Women Words of wisdom after a disappointing meet

[Avasmom]

I'm sure there is a post somewhere on this but I can't find it. My daughter (level 3) had her worst meet ever today. It started on vault and went downhill from there. She was state champ on vault so to score an 8.6 to start off the day I think threw her off completely. I tried to focus on her bar score which was the best yet but she reminded me that her big step out caused her a .3 deduction. Then beam was a hot mess. I lost count of how many falls the judges probably deducted her for. She grabbed the beam to save a fall then didn't do her dismount. She is so disappointed in herself. She couldn't really recover from a 7.650 beam score. Watching her fight back tears was tough for this mama. She refuses to talk about the meet. Is that ok? Is that normal? I have just let her do her thing today and tried to support to and give her extra love. She's been very snappy and her attitude is not good towards me. Any words of wisdom on what to say to her or should I just leave it alone and let her talk to me when she is ready?

 

[Deleted member 14190]

What's to talk about , the day is over. Celebrate the good forget about the bad ... I say

 

[raenndrops]

Let it go.... Let it go... Turn away and close that door.

Dont worry about it. It's over with. There is another meet to come.

 

[kipnastic mom]

I'm sure there is a post somewhere on this but I can't find it. My daughter (level 3) had her worst meet ever today. It started on vault and went downhill from there. She was state champ on vault so to score an 8.6 to start off the day I think threw her off completely. I tried to focus on her bar score which was the best yet but she reminded me that her big step out caused her a .3 deduction. Then beam was a hot mess. I lost count of how many falls the judges probably deducted her for. She grabbed the beam to save a fall then didn't do her dismount. She is so disappointed in herself. She couldn't really recover from a 7.650 beam score. Watching her fight back tears was tough for this mama. She refuses to talk about the meet. Is that ok? Is that normal? I have just let her do her thing today and tried to support to and give her extra love. She's been very snappy and her attitude is not good towards me. Any words of wisdom on what to say to her or should I just leave it alone and let her talk to me when she is ready?

I have learned with my DD, if she wants to talk about it, she will. If she doesn't, I don't pry. It is very good for kids to learn that not everything goes well. Those that are able to learn from their disappointments/mistakes are the ones that continue to grow. Life isn't always going to go well. It sucks for us as the parents to watch it happen and feel so hopeless. I can't say it gets easier, it doesn't, you just get better at dealing. Hang in there!

 

[coachmolly]

It's a tough lesson to learn, but it happens sooner or later. It sounds like you did great by picking out the good things on each event. Just celebrate the victories (even if the victory is just getting up and finishing after multiple falls or continuing on to the next event). Remind her of how far she's come. But other than that, let it go. Eat ice cream, play a game, watch a movie, whatever sounds good to her. Or let her do her own thing if that's what she prefers.
Hopefully a positive practice back at the gym will help her bounce back. And really, a 7.65 beam score isn't that disastrous. Obviously she did some thing well within the routine to get that score.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Its a life lesson. Can't fix it. Can't make it better.

Its one bad day.

But down the road. Not related to her performance today. Keep the focus on skills and clean routines, not on placements and scores. Because those medals don't come as easy as they go up levels.

 

[my4buffaloes]

As stinky as it is/was some days are like that. My level 9 recently fell 3 times on beam and scored a low 6 - maybe that will make her feel better that sometimes you just can't stay on. Not the end of the world. Not much you can do other than learn from your mistakes if you can and keep plugging away in the gym. Hard work in the gym will pay off at the meets.

 

[skschlag]

Well.. my son is on meet #2 like that and I think the only thing we have said after is "Way to work hard, what would you like for dinner."

I know it is hard, but learning how to deal with meets like this early is so important. It will help her as she progresses through the levels.

 

[GymMom4]

You've gotten good advice so far.

Focus on the effort, not the result. They won't always have great meets. Most kids, anyway, and it makes the victories sweeter.

Don't dwell on it. And yes, it's totally normal for her to not want to talk about it.

 

[Avasmom]

I took the advice of letting it go because she is her own worst critic. Her attitude towards me was awful too so I just left her alone. After church today she brought it up and said you know when I looked at my beam score, I realized God had a plan. He knew that I was going to have a bad meet.” Mama tears! But it dawned on me she hasn’t really ever had a bad meet. She’s learning valuable lessons that no matter how good you are, you can still have a bad meet.

 

[cassafrass]

Yes my level 8 recently scored a 5 on bars...a 5! She made her release move but couldn't complete an "easy" giant. She fell like 3 times. Then she left out a full turn on beam by accident. Got a 7 something. Plus her little crush came to watch! On to to the next one...

 

[gymnastmom05]

I have learned my DD is mentally exhausted after a meet no matter if it was a great day or a bad day. Food and time help. An hour or so after it's over, it's like she's a *mostly* sane person again. Usually by the next day, she's ready to talk about the good, the bad and the ugly and can poke a little fun at herself for a less than stellar performance on an event and her even more ridiculous behavior afterwards (I'm hot, my head hurts from my hair, I'm hungry, I can't get comfortable blah blah blah, meanwhile my husband and I sit in the front seat and roll our eyes).

 

[gymmom10]

Now that we are pretty far down this road, I can say that it is the bitter disappointments that you remember the most, and I think, grow from. Much more than the wins. This is what shapes you as an athlete. I think my daughter remembers every single time she failed big and will talk about her fails with a laugh... a 5.7 on bars at L5, disastrous meets with a lot of falls, the time when after being the highest scorer on her team all season, she fell at states and most everyone else moved on to Regionals but her. They just become part of where she has been and what it has taken to get to where she is now. The losses are as important as the wins. They just hurt a lot more.

 

[duyetanh]

Yes my level 8 recently scored a 5 on bars...a 5! She made her release move but couldn't complete an "easy" giant. She fell like 3 times. Then she left out a full turn on beam by accident. Got a 7 something. Plus her little crush came to watch! On to to the next one...

Mine has scored a 5 on bars too before! For us it was the evil squat on....i think she tried 7 times....omg....

 

[John]

Mine has scored a 5 on bars too before! For us it was the evil squat on....i think she tried 7 times....omg....

That shows her true character. Never wanting to just skip it, but insisting she complete it. That is impressive.

 

[Taxidriver]

I have learned my DD is mentally exhausted after a meet no matter if it was a great day or a bad day. Food and time help. An hour or so after it's over, it's like she's a *mostly* sane person again. Usually by the next day, she's ready to talk about the good, the bad and the ugly and can poke a little fun at herself for a less than stellar performance on an event and her even more ridiculous behavior afterwards (I'm hot, my head hurts from my hair, I'm hungry, I can't get comfortable blah blah blah, meanwhile my husband and I sit in the front seat and roll our eyes).

It sounds like you are describing my dd

Back to op it’s a tough lesson learned but I think those lessons are beneficial for the future even though they are very hard at the time.

 

[coachmolly]

When I was competing level 5 (old level 5, current level 4) close to 20 years ago, my best score on beam all season was a 6.45. I had no falls. The kids I coach cannot believe that. And somehow I got over it, kept competing, and even lived to see a 9.0 on beam once in my gymnastics career It just made the victories all the more sweet.
I actually just posted a thread in the private forum for coaches about a few of my kids who have never fallen or gotten a low score at a meet and now avoid anything that they might mess up. I think it's so much better for a kid to learn how to deal with those disappointments early on and learn how to work through them.

 

[gymmomtoo]

When I was competing level 5 (old level 5, current level 4) close to 20 years ago, my best score on beam all season was a 6.45. I had no falls. The kids I coach cannot believe that. And somehow I got over it, kept competing, and even lived to see a 9.0 on beam once in my gymnastics career It just made the victories all the more sweet.
I actually just posted a thread in the private forum for coaches about a few of my kids who have never fallen or gotten a low score at a meet and now avoid anything that they might mess up. I think it's so much better for a kid to learn how to deal with those disappointments early on and learn how to work through them.

Totally agree with this. If they don't figure out how to work through disappointments and struggles early, when they hit them later (and everyone has struggles at some point), then they may totally fall apart--because they never learned how to fail and how to get back up and try again.

 

[Flippin'A]

When I was competing level 5 (old level 5, current level 4) close to 20 years ago, my best score on beam all season was a 6.45. I had no falls. The kids I coach cannot believe that. And somehow I got over it, kept competing, and even lived to see a 9.0 on beam once in my gymnastics career It just made the victories all the more sweet.

Haha. I was the exact same way! Never scored above a 7.0 on bars during my first season of old level 5 (also 20ish years ago.) Barely ever actually fell, my skills just looked terrible. I still remember the sting of scoring in the 5s multiple times. But I kept working and eventually it clicked. Dd loves bars and thinks it's hilarious that I was so bad at them.

 

[cassafrass]

That shows her true character. Never wanting to just skip it, but insisting she complete it. That is impressive.

Thanks John and she did end up qualifying for states at least! She actually won first on floor sticking her whip 1/2 punch layout the first time out! Talk about ups and downs! Literally!