DD accused of cheating during practice... Help?

[Lucy's Mom]

My youngest has recently been very tired so ive let her on occasion have an "all natural" energy drink. It's powder you put in water with vitamins and it does have a little bit of caffeine. Today a couple teammates found out and started telling dd that she was a cheater. That she does so well because of it. They said they are all tired and not doing good and she is doing good and getting lots of praise and attention from the coaches, because of the energy drink. The teammates that originally said this have told other girls and convinced them that it's not fair (mostly younger ones) older girls don't really care... I don't understand as anyone can have energy drinks if they want, dd told them that and they said that they would but they don't cheat. They were pretty cruel the rest of practice. We are at a new gym (relative, 1.5 months) and this is dis encouraging that little girls can be so mean to each other! Dd was near tears, she's sensitive, but I do think it was completely unfair of them to talk to her like that and treat her like a cheater and rule breaker...

Any advice on how to handle this?

 

[BlairBob]

Back when I was a kid, I would probably have just gave them the finger, said something impolite, or started a fight. It's so much easier to be a boy sometimes.

I dunno, in Ukraine my friend said they would often drink coffee or coca cola and have a candy bar before workout to get them through it and he swore on it.

Think sugar, caffeine, and chocolate = good mood.

Caffeine is a documented stimulant in the sports world used by pretty much everyone. It's a staple in the business world.

I generally wouldn't advocate it for children, especially if said child is kind of a wild child or has attention problems. Otherwise, I train on it all the time. It was pretty necessary when working out at 9pm-12pm after a long day. It also makes a huge difference for many during Olympic Lifting and Football.

One of the tricks is to time it so it doesn't interfere with sleeping patterns or quality of sleep due to the way caffeine works.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

i don't think it's wise that parents should be giving their children "energy" drinks if that's what this really is. and the oxymoron is that it's "natural". but i am sure the difference it would make is negligible in comparison to the other children. therefore, your kid is a hard worker and the others are slackers and should shut up, mind their own business and get to work.

 

[gymnastbeth]

Oh my gosh, little girls can be so mean sometimes! I was really sensitive as a child myself and that would have devastated me. Sounds like they are just jealous that your DD is doing well, and they needed something to blame her success on, other than the fact that she is a hard worker.

It is likely that the other girls KNOW she's not "cheating", and they're just being cruel. Give it a week, if they don't stop bothering her about it, maybe approach her coach about the teammate issue? I'd venture to guess that in a week they'll have found something new to complain about.

 

[Flossyduck]

That's a really tough one, I feel for you both.

I'm not going to comment on the energy drink thing, but you are about six weeks in to a new gym right?
We moved my daughter a few months ago now and at first everything was great but move on to about six weeks in and I was on here asking for advice because the other girls were being mean to her over little things. I couldn't really understand why they had decided to pick on her.

Someone wisely pointed out that the honeymoon period was over - she was no longer the interesting new girl, but not quite had time to be 'one of the girls'. There was a sort of gap in the middle. Plus she was working hard and getting lots of good comments so suddenly ...

It didn't last long, a couple of weeks at most. Now she adores them all.

Hopefully that's all it is, but if it doesn't stop or it starts affecting her in class ask the coach to keep an eye on it.

Good luck.

 

[wallinbl]

Caffeine is a vasoconstrictor. As to why you would consume that prior to strenuous athletic activity, I have no idea.

Look, every kid takes some kind of "energy" drink or food before practice, whether that's chocolate milk, pasta, etc. The fact that the other kids are tired can be attributed to them having lower overall fitness level or being insufficiently nourished before practice. (I'm assuming here that the workouts are level and age appropriate and the kids aren't being pushed past where they should be.) The other kids should be talking to their parents about what they should be eating 90-120 minutes before practice, what they should be eating closer to practice and how they should replenish after practice.

They're not world class athletes, but they do workout a lot, and proper nutrition will help prevent injury as well as improve their success.

And, I'm with dunno, the energy drink isn't doing anything useful other than whatever psychological impact it might have. Better to convince your daughter that success is a decision and not based on any routine or superstition (baseball players are the most fun when it comes to superstitions and rituals).

 

[gymgal]

I generally wouldn't advocate it for children, especially if said child is kind of a wild child or has attention problems.

Just for the record, small doses of caffeine are often recommended for kids with mild adhd. It stimulates the brain to focus.

OP: as others have said, this probably will blow over quickly and if your dd is ok with handling it, I would leave it alone. But if she is super sensitive and this is going to affect her training, then talk with the coaches. They will nip it in the bud. As for the energy drink, it's better to teach your child to rely on good nutrition for energy. We have this debate in our house all the time b/c dh buys into all the newest energy products - the gatorade soft chess being the latest. And as a result, he has convinced Ds that they really work.

 

[GymBee97]

I would talk to the coach to let her/him know what has been happening so they can keep an eye on it during gym. the gym also can help by maybe making a list of foods and drink to help with tiredness that would be given to all the kids to have.

Being the "new girl" is probably a contributing factor to the teasing, kids are cruel. Instead of having your child go through the teasing for a drink I would just stop the drink - why have her drink something that is going to cause that teasing.
Most of the gymnasts I know tend to do a big glass of Chocolate Milk or chocolate Shake to get energy before practice or a meet. My DD does and it seems to do the trick.

Take a look at your DD's diet and sleeping patterns too sometimes a small change in those area can help with energy levels. I'm with the others here and not an advocate of energy drinks for children, but if your DD needs a jolt of caffiene there is always Mountain Dew soda - that has plenty of caffiene and the kids won't see it as an "energy drink"

 

[bogwoppit]

I would have a chat with the coach about the meaness, bullying is never okay.

 

[SuperGirlmlm]

Poor girl. What one of my teachers said, if you want something to go away, ignore it. Also, usually when girls are mean to each other like that, it's probably because they are jealous, so they turn something meaningless into something ugly.

 

[ARKGYMMOM]

Ahhhh the Big Green Jealous Monster.......He is so evil. I would just change your daughters water bottle to where they can't see what is inside and she can tell them it is water. she is not lying because it is water(with and additive).

 

[aerialriver]

I would have her go without for a week or 2 and make of point out of telling the other girls that she is not having the drink and to pay attention to how good she is, no different that with it.

 

[Moxiegrl83]

Kids can be so mean sometimes, and over the stupidest things. I like the idea of changing up her drink, and just let the girls see for themselves it had nothing to do with it. Instead of looking stupid they'll probably just let it go and move on to the next thing. It's really tough to see our kiddo's upset, and when it's another kid it's even tougher. Definitely let the coach know though. If for nothing else then to keep an eye (and ear), on the girls while they are training. Good luck!

 

[iwannacoach]

Bullying bad....caffeine good for calming adhd kids who can't focus.......vitamins good......more sleep even better.


I would steer away from anything that is "outwardly caffeinated" and urge you to try other body friendly means of solving the fatique problems. Try "boosting" with complex carbs. Give her a tomato 30 minutes before practice. They contain complex carbs and have a natural compound that elevate mood in a positive way.

In the end if you still have to go the caffeine route, use chocolate or some other "natural" caffeine she is un-aware of. She'll avoid issues with her team mates, and won't be getting the message that mom and caffeine are the elixirs of life, although some moms would have something to say about that.

 

[Gymmonkeymomma]

Regardless of what she's drinking/eating, it is NOT OK for the other girls to bully anyone, that's the point I'd address with the coaches.

 

[BlairBob]

Definitely bring up the bullying issue with the coaches. I know as a coach, having been bullied as a kid because I was short, I do not put up with it well. I prefer to stomp it into the ground and have a zero tolerance memorandum towards it. It annoys, and that is never good.

I am aware of giving kids with ADD or ADHD a stimulant to call them down. I haven't yet tried doing it on my own when I have had kids with ADD as they generally are on meds anyways.

I used to buy some of those sports jelly beans that are slightly caffeinated made with dextrose and B-vitamins. Helped at meets. It's not good but I often don't sleep well, if at all, before big competitions so I have to rely on energy substances to get through it. I always used to joke with my friends that maybe I'd give my guys the sport jellybeans one day to see if they would do better.

While caffeine is a vasoconstrictor it's also a very potent stimulant. There is a reason that most pre workout supplements use some form of caffeine as a base stimulant with perhaps guarana and neurotransmitters (which sometimes are tested for in the Olympics so don't use Jacked).

Caffeine also lets you work a bit harder and get through pain a bit easier. I usually try to stay away from it now whenever doing a CrossFit Metabolic WOD or competition since it allows me to push harder which greatly increases my chances of pushing it to the " I'm gonna puke " stage. I puked enough during Track and Field that I'm just over it really. Besides it's a mess if I don't have a change of clothes or can't make it to a trashcan, bush or bathroom. A pain.

Personally I would not have kids be training that hard metabolically that they could puke in a gym anyways. No real need for the metabolic work when most of them aren't strong enough as it is. We had a girl try out at our gym last month and during the second or third day she had to go puke and she wouldn't come back afterwards. Yes, it was bloody hot and the training was just a lot harder than her previous foo-foo gym.

Some kids will get hyper on just simple sugars. Carrots or apples. It's weird and I don't understand but I wonder if it's something psychosomatic or if they really are that sensitive to sugar.

For the most part, I would rather not see any juvenile be ingesting caffeine to train on till they are in their later years. High School, preferably 15 or 16. Possibly for early morning practices, especially if it messes with their sleep schedule. One of our girls was used to sleeping 9/10pm to 9am so the 9am workouts were pretty brutal. It's been said it takes about 2 hours before you mentally and physically ready to train optimally (of course you can do it before, it's just not optimal).

 

[Aussie_coach]

The bullying is an issue. But I would be very careful about even giving a child and all natural energy drink, even natural chemicals can have a damaging effect on young bodies.

But also giving a child an "energy" drink makes them feel they need an energy drink to boost them through training. They can become psychologically reliant on the drink. And can take a spike in energy when they don't have it. A recent study was conducted in my area where two control groups were evaluated in a marathon. One control group was given an energy drink before the workout and the other control group were given half a banana. The athletes were tested at various intervals and it was found that those who had half a banana maintained their energy levels better than those who had the energy drink.

As for whoever mentioned giving caffeine to calm down kids with ADHD. This is not a great idea either. When you give your child caffeine (Coffee, soda's chocolate etc) you are not just giving them the caffeine but also all the other negative chemicals in these foods. Including many preservative, flavors, colors and flavor enhancers. These chemicals actually deplete the chemical supplies in the brain that are already significantly depleted in those with ADHD. Thus making the ADHD far worse, however, the catch is that these foods don't immediately destroy the chemicals but it can take from 12-72 hours to cause the depletion. The depletion can last days. Parents tend to just notice things that immediately affect their child and blame the last food their child ate. Rather than seeing the long term picture.

Many parents have their kids have so many of these foods that they are in a constant state of hyperness so the parents dont realize its the food.

Blairbob it is not the sugars in carrots and apples that make kids hyper. Both those foods are very high in a chemical known as salycilates. In sensitive children salycilates have a similar effect to red food coloring.

 

[2020vision]

While I certainly disagree with you giving your child caffeine, that is a choice that is obviously working for your family so I won't offer advice about that aspect of your post.

I would definitely caution you about getting too involved with the social aspect of gym unless it is a long term problem. My child was one of those gymnasts who skipped or tested out of levels because of a strong skill set. I remember in particular one night I picked her up and she was in tears. She had just been moved from 3 to 5 and one of the 6s told her that she wasn't good enough to be on the 5 team.

As an adult, my immediate response was to want to tell the little girl that my girl was obviously good enough or her coach wouldn't have skipped her up a level. But I knew that my daughter needed to learn to handle this because mean girls are all over the place. We need to let our kids learn the skills to cope and deal with hateful remarks. I'm not too big to admit that I was pleased when I heard that the 6 and her parents were called in for a conference.

My main point is that unless it is a long term or frequently recurring issue, you should think about letting your daughter flex her emotional muscles and deal with the teammates. Over the years, I've watched my daughter be one teams where everyone was tight and teams full of girl drama. Teams split up as girls repeat/skip/move on and you get a new mix of girls. The girls will get things ironed out among themselves and I hope you have faith in your daughter's coaches to trust that he/she will recognize when things have crossed a line.

 

[gymgal]

As for whoever mentioned giving caffeine to calm down kids with ADHD. This is not a great idea either. When you give your child caffeine (Coffee, soda's chocolate etc) you are not just giving them the caffeine but also all the other negative chemicals in these foods. Including many preservative, flavors, colors and flavor enhancers. These chemicals actually deplete the chemical supplies in the brain that are already significantly depleted in those with ADHD. Thus making the ADHD far worse, however, the catch is that these foods don't immediately destroy the chemicals but it can take from 12-72 hours to cause the depletion. The depletion can last days. Parents tend to just notice things that immediately affect their child and blame the last food their child ate. Rather than seeing the long term picture.

this is true. what I was referring to was small doses of caffeine in the form of pills for treatment of mild ADHD. I did not specify, but I should have. And I would never suggest that any parent do this on their own. I was merely stating that it is being used before heavier meds are tried. Obviously, no parent should try this before speaking to their physician.

 

[2020vision]

I know that Lucy's Mom was not the one to use the word "bullying" but from her description, it doesn't sound like her daughter is being bullied. I think that's a hot word to toss around right now anytime kids have even the briefest conflict. From her description, this does NOT qualify as bullying to me. This is a situation that her daughter will need to learn to address.

Bullying is cruel taunting that is sustained over a period of time where one person or a group of people have some sort of power over the target. But being a mean girl doesn't make you a bully....it just makes you a bee-yatch. I think it is important not to label all juvenile conflict as bullying because then it waters down the horrible effect that true bullying has on victims.

A one time argument, teasing, fight isn't bullying. Cliques aren't necessarily bullies (although they certainly have the potential to be). And having a bad practice because your teammates are jealous is definitely not bullying to me.