Parents Watching practice- a no no?

[bookworm]

Our gym had a TV set up opposite the window that looked into the gym.....if I had to stay, I was watching Jeopardy!

 

[amiandjim]

I wish I had that option I do work out 3 days a week..so that is one hour. I go to the library. I go to the store.. But we are there 20 hours a week. So I take my computer, pop on my headphones, and catch up on shows, work, etc. It helps. I don't watch much. But if I keep going places, i spend too much money.....

I usually stay on my carpool days as well...it's an hour each way and I found I was spending money just for something to do! So, now I usually bring a book or something to do. I hardly ever watch unless the level 9-10s are on bars bc it's fun to watch (when it's not your kid obviously!).

 

[MILgymFAM]

I wish I had that option I do work out 3 days a week..so that is one hour. I go to the library. I go to the store.. But we are there 20 hours a week. So I take my computer, pop on my headphones, and catch up on shows, work, etc. It helps. I don't watch much. But if I keep going places, i spend too much money.....

This. When I stayed for whole practices it was because it was a waste of gas money to drive home just to turn around and go back. With our commute it would've meant more hours driving than she trained, and she trained plenty.

But by trying to stay out of the gym altogether I ended up spending the money anyway. Food...shopping...movies. That wasn't a viable option for more than a couple days so I started just sitting in my car in the parking lot. That made me extra miserable and hastened me in forcing my DD to quit. Four hours in the car in 100+ degree weather will make you crazy.

It was just the idea that I would be looked at as a CGM if I sat in the blessed air conditioning of the gym everyday that kept me in the car.

 

[bookworm]

This. When I stayed for whole practices it was because it was a waste of gas money to drive home just to turn around and go back. With our commute it would've meant more hours driving than she trained, and she trained plenty.

.

This was me...I drove 80 miles one way, in traffic, took 2 hours.....there was ZERO chance I was going home. I did find the local library was a nice haunt for the hours they were in the gym and I did do some shopping but my actual time watching practices was minimal.

 

[skschlag]

Even when I am sitting there, I am not watching practice. I am usually gabbing with a mom, or watching my computer. Once I take my glasses off, anything past a 4 foot radius is blurry anyway, so even if I am staring off into the gym, I cannot see a thing

 

[e'smum]

our gym doesn't allow parents to watch practice. the first 30 and/or the last 30 mins of each practice only. but that's warm up and cool down. lol. my dd used to want me to watch but now she doesn't. i think it's b/c the skills are more complex and it's taking longer for her to get them. i'm actually trying to back off and not even ask how was your night. i used to ask what events they practiced and what she did (less than a minute conversation). i wanted to see her doing a skill she said she got and i said i could pop in and watch her during her special 2 hour practice and she said no. that she'd show me at open gym on friday night. and she did.

it can be distracting to the gymnasts.

i don't understand parents who stay there. do they not have better things to do with their time? and i'm not talking about those who have a long drive so it's not worth going home, i'm talking about those who could very well go home and come back. most parents at our gym just drop off, don't even go in.

 

[Really]

To answer Lilou's question, the perception is that if you're watching every minute of practice, you're overinvolved with what should be your child's sport. Different gyms have different rules about how often and for how long you should watch. I don't judge other parents for watching at my dd's gym-- their kid may not have been feeling well and they might be trying to see if they'll make it thru practice, or they may have some other perfectly valid reason for staying. If you're concerned that the coaches are perceiving you poorly because you stay and watch, read what your team handbook has to say about it and stick to the guidelines given there. If they don't have anything in writing about it, I'd assume you could stay and watch.

 

[txgymfan]

I think gyms would be well served if they set up a semi comfortable parent room with wifi, tables and window to the gym.

 

[Gam15]

I always watch the last 20 minutes or so of practice. All of the parents in our level group get along and we all went for dessert once a week after practice until our practice times changed. The girls loved the extra time together to be silly and we all enjoyed talking about what our other non-gymnastics kids were up to. The parents I typically see in our gym the most belong to our upper optionals. They are usually the ones filming their kids.

 

[duyetanh]

Even when I am sitting there, I am not watching practice. I am usually gabbing with a mom, or watching my computer. Once I take my glasses off, anything past a 4 foot radius is blurry anyway, so even if I am staring off into the gym, I cannot see a thing

Hah! Love it. I too have a long commute. My kid is secure enough to not need me at practice (hallelujah!), but at the same time, I am not going to spend money to avoid going in or sit in a hot car. So, I joined a gym nearby (thank you Dad for the Birthday present!). The driving to and from, working out, Jacuzzi/steam room, shower, etc....this is a two hour idea. When I head back, I then sit with my book/computer/dragon's egg puzzle (that is really ticking me off right now, incidentally...anyone ever tried these?) and get busy having me time. There are a few moms who live there. One mom actually came to inform me that my kid had "just done a *******, is that the first time she ever did that before? She looked excited!" Seriously. I even had my earbuds on. I told her I had no idea what blah blah blah even was (said nicely) and that if it was, I am sure my kid would fill me in on the lonnnnng car ride home. What I wanted to say was gee, thanks for being so interested in what my kid is doing, I am in the middle of my graduate school coursework so I didn't notice." But I did not.

I have got lucky the past few weeks in that when I happen to look up, or just get there, my kid pulls a rabbit out of a hat. So that has been fun. And then I get on with doing my thing. I look at it as an opportunity for me time. When the heck can I do my coursework, etc without being needed? HAHAHAHA

ETA: if I actually really watched what she was doing, I would probably make her quit the sport....and she isn't a level 10!

 

[Jazzjerz]

Part of the reason our gym doesn't want us there long hours to watch is because it can distract the kids. They can see the bleachers from the gym floor, and I frequently see the girls looking back if their parents are there (or desperately trying not to look over in that direction if they are having a bad day, or have a certain type of parent). We are welcome to stay in the "party room" area, where the girls can't see us, and use those tables to sit and work or whatever.

 

[kayjaybe]

Hah! Love it. I too have a long commute. My kid is secure enough to not need me at practice (hallelujah!), but at the same time, I am not going to spend money to avoid going in or sit in a hot car. So, I joined a gym nearby (thank you Dad for the Birthday present!). The driving to and from, working out, Jacuzzi/steam room, shower, etc....this is a two hour idea. When I head back, I then sit with my book/computer/dragon's egg puzzle (that is really ticking me off right now, incidentally...anyone ever tried these?) and get busy having me time. There are a few moms who live there. One mom actually came to inform me that my kid had "just done a *******, is that the first time she ever did that before? She looked excited!" Seriously. I even had my earbuds on. I told her I had no idea what blah blah blah even was (said nicely) and that if it was, I am sure my kid would fill me in on the lonnnnng car ride home. What I wanted to say was gee, thanks for being so interested in what my kid is doing, I am in the middle of my graduate school coursework so I didn't notice." But I did not.

I have got lucky the past few weeks in that when I happen to look up, or just get there, my kid pulls a rabbit out of a hat. So that has been fun. And then I get on with doing my thing. I look at it as an opportunity for me time. When the heck can I do my coursework, etc without being needed? HAHAHAHA

ETA: if I actually really watched what she was doing, I would probably make her quit the sport....and she isn't a level 10!

I must know what this dragon's egg puzzle is. I love puzzles.

 

[Madden3]

Of course it is not a no no to watch practice. It is a no-no to a be a disrespectful to other parents or the coaches or staff or to knowingly bug or upset your kids while at practice. Plenty of parents manage to be at practice without any of that happening.

I am only rarely at practice. Even if I wanted to spend that time turning into a baked pretzel on a metal bleacher seat in an un-air conditioned warehouse, I do not need to as my gym boys are old enough for me to not be there, we live near the gym and I have a 4 year old. So, it would not work for me to stay at practice. But I am very happy that plenty of other parents are at practice and that I am welcome to be there at any time.

 

[duyetanh]

I must know what this dragon's egg puzzle is. I love puzzles.

Black Dragon 2 layer smart egg labyrinth puzzle......you can buy it on amazon...there are 3 of them...the black dragon is the hardest.

 

[dancingimmie]

I feel very fortunate to live 10 minutes from the gym. My dd doesn't want me there anyway. She told me she does better when I'm not around. Occasionally she will ask me to come a little early to pick her up. She's working on some pretty scary stuff that I would rather see when perfect.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

So, imo, watching practice is not a bad thing. It is how you react to practice that matters. I drive my son an hour each way to practice. I try to keep busy, but honestly I end up sitting. I do not watch the whole time, but do see the occassional turn.

If you are just hanging out, relaxing, and see practice, no big deal in my opinion. HOwever, if you are studying every turn, and counting how often the coach talks to your kid, or how much attention another kid gets or who gets more turns, or who is goofing off, that gets bad. It becomes hard not to see the coach paying more attention to one kid over yours, or to see yours "goofing off" etc. and then you fixate.

So, watching isn't bad. Analyzing, and focusing on everything is. PLus, sometimes it is fun to see something in a meet that you have never seen before!!!!

Boys and girls are different . .

 

[Deleted member 14190]

To reply to the original question, I will keep it short. Your children on average will last longer and go further in gym if you give them space . Without going into details , the potential side effects of constant watching are. Increased fear issues , lose of interest , slower progression and a rocky road between parent and child when they turn into a teenager and want them out. I have absolutely seen all of this multiple times over my duration in gymnastics. Another side effect is the parents will start nitpicking everything and become unhappy and either leave or drive the child insane or both. So for me, I would rather cut ties early on than wait until I watch history repeat it's self .

 

[Taxidriver]

I think the trouble with watching gym all the time when kids are there long hours (my dd does 14hours) is that it doesn't look like they are progressing much and some of the drills they are doing look very simple or basic or don't make any sense to someone with no gym knowledge (my dd gym spends hours on drills) but those drills are important and then when they do a new skill those drills can (sometimes) make sense. Also my dd gym spend hours perfecting skills that they already have so it can seem very repetitive but you notice the difference when you go to competitions and our girls score higher for much cleaner routines.
And you can drive your self mad comparing your child to another child and different children progress at different rates and times and some skills come easier to some than others.
I do like to watch my dd from time to time but I also like being surprised at competitions, bars I never get to see and when I first saw her competing jumping from low to high bar it was wow!
At my dd gym you can only watch from a very small viewing area which overlooks the gym as the gym doesn't have seating and you aren't allowed into the gym, sometimes I listen to the other parents saying things like they will be having words with their dd for not trying hard enough, being distracted or not pointing toes that's what I think is frowned upon.

 

[Nikki4]

I try to watch each of my kids practices once a week. They like it and I get to watch and have at least a small idea of what they tell me about. Lol my dd actually Gets mad atme when I come. Not because I'm there but because I end up talking to other parents. lol really only one cgm and I can avoid sitting near her.
Even when I watch though I still only ask the same questions at the end of practice....did you have fun?....did you have a good practice? Sometimes they only want to give a one word answer and sometimes they want to eleaborate on it.

 

[2G1B]

I think gyms would be well served if they set up a semi comfortable parent room with wifi, tables and window to the gym.

When my DD did a stint with volleyball I decided that all of my kids should swap to it. There was a parent viewing area; but it was glassed off so that you couldn't call down to your kid AND you didn't have to smell all the sweaty kids. Even better, there was a room with comfy couches, TVs, wifi, AND lap tops set up for siblings to do their homework on! it was awesome!!