Parents DREADING my DD's first Xcel Meet

[NewGymMominCA]

Hi All,

My DD is on Xcel (silver). Her floor routine is mostly dance and she is HORRIBLE at dance. I think the routine was choreographed by the coaches. (I thought in Xcel gymnasts could make up their own routine???? But I guess I was wrong).

She tried ballet once and hated it. Anyway, her floor routine looks awful!!! She is the worst one (by far) on the floor because she can't dance! She looks like a football player trying to do ballet - as she is very muscular and completely lacking in grace.

Her beam routine is also a little dancy and clunky.

Also, I quit watching her practices for the most part because it's not just form that she lacks. I haven't seen her make much progress in skills over the past 1 1/2 years...so it's hard watching her get nowhere.

She says she LOVES it. So...I can't take her out of it...

But, at this point, I'd rather stick a fork in my eye than watch her compete.

Yes - I am the very horrible gym mom.

Any advice?

 

[twocurlygirlz]

Have a drink and enjoy the ride- atleast in Xcel Silver the skills are not overwhelming scary or dangerous yet- so enjoy- enjoy the Non-compulsory music and maybe just maybe she'll surprise you- the ones that love it always show it on the floor- regardless of her grace =)

 

[SurpriseGymMom]

Your DD enjoys it and is having fun. It's Xcel Silver. Try to relax and just enjoy it for what it is! . Xcel silver is VERY lowkey and about the least stressful competition level possible. The skills are not very difficult and routines are short and sweet!
FWIW, I don't know of any gyms that allow the gymnasts to choreograph their own floor routines. Perhaps older gymmies get input, and our older Optionals do make their own beam routines based on their (professionally choreographed) floor routines, but... Most gyms will have coaches or outside choreographers do the routines. In Xcel, the beauty is that there are no COMPULSORY routines, meaning the gymnasts are allowed some leeway and do not all HAVE to have the same exact skills etc in their routines. A lot of gyms do what we do: choreograph a few different Xcel routines and switch out the tumbling passes/leap passes based on level and skills of the individual gymnast. I think we have 5 or 6 different routines/music we use for the whole Xcel team in Silver and Gold. Platinum and Diamond get their own individual music and routine. Hope that made sense!

Enjoy watching your DD make it her own even if it is cringe worthy to you.

 

[CTMOM]

If you DD is having fun, just go and enjoy it.

 

[Tuppy]

It's great that she enjoys it. She won't know that you didn't watch. Be busy videoing.

 

[Juliana Emilse]

I'm so scared that it could happen to me lol. Maybe is time to switch gyms and change to jazzy routines instead of graceful ones =)
See these "jazzy" routines: (song: Annie - Tomorrow, watch the full video, Acroanna has really jazzy routines with simple dance moves) , (song: The Jungle Book).
See which one you think goes better with you DD. Then ask the coach to switch routines to one with a similar style.
By the way, how old is she?

 

[Erbmom]

No advice, just sympathy. Just pretend your having a great time and she's doing awesome. I used to do that with basketball and soccer. So glad my kids quit them, they weren't very good and even if they were stars, I hate watching those sports.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Is she having fun? Good. Tell her you love her and to do her best and have fun.

Pay attention to what she does well and talk up her effort. When it's done.

As my kid says it's just gymnastics not world war.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

PS I dread every meet. 4 plus hours to see my kid for 4 mins. Not my favorite way to spend the weekend.

 

[mandkmom]

This makes me feel better. I am so dreading the rest of the season after the first 2 meets. DD is seriously struggling and scores are lowest on team. But she is so happy so I just smile and point out where she is improving.
I dread going to the meet and sitting there for hours watching her get all nervous and not compete well.
I keep telling myself what great friends and memories she is making. Because there are surely some positives out all of it.

 

[emorymom]

PS I dread every meet. 4 plus hours to see my kid for 4 mins. Not my favorite way to spend the weekend.

Preach. I'm not sure who doesn't dread these things, though I know some moms do like them. I just got back from a session. Left before 9, got home right before 4. Whole day! Awards last forever! Just send them home with the coaches, and they can give them out tomorrow.

 

[JazzyMom]

I feel your pain. My advice is to video her. This lets her see her progress and makes it easier for you to not watch. My DD is horrid at dancing. Her team tells her she dances like a robot - lol! She just goes with it. I've learned that if it doesn't bother her, who am I to worry?

 

[raenndrops]

Your DD enjoys it and is having fun. It's Xcel Silver. Try to relax and just enjoy it for what it is! . Xcel silver is VERY lowkey and about the least stressful competition level possible. The skills are not very difficult and routines are short and sweet!
FWIW, I don't know of any gyms that allow the gymnasts to choreograph their own floor routines. Perhaps older gymmies get input, and our older Optionals do make their own beam routines based on their (professionally choreographed) floor routines, but... Most gyms will have coaches or outside choreographers do the routines. In Xcel, the beauty is that there are no COMPULSORY routines, meaning the gymnasts are allowed some leeway and do not all HAVE to have the same exact skills etc in their routines. A lot of gyms do what we do: choreograph a few different Xcel routines and switch out the tumbling passes/leap passes based on level and skills of the individual gymnast. I think we have 5 or 6 different routines/music we use for the whole Xcel team in Silver and Gold. Platinum and Diamond get their own individual music and routine. Hope that made sense!

Enjoy watching your DD make it her own even if it is cringe worthy to you.

Our optionals (JO and Xcel) have the option of choreographing their own routines or getting them choreographed by a teammate or part-time coach (a choice of 3 coaches... former L10, former L7, or one that will do choreo for free).
We only have L6 - L8, Gold and sometimes Platinum and they all get individual music and routines.

 

[seoulmama]

All floor routines and beam routines have dance in them-it can't be all tumbling and leaps. I know you know that, but sometimes it's hard to see the good when we focus on the negative. Perhaps she should talk to the coach about it if she's unhappy. If she's happy-count yourself lucky! Perhaps she will surprise you-and perhaps it's better than you think. There's a great article about parenting kids who play sports-it's my mantra: I love to watch you compete. It's not our sport-and I remind myself of that daily. link to article: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rachel-macy-stafford/six-words-you-should-say-today_b_3863643.html

 

[NutterButter]

So, my advice is to suck it up. Go to meets, cheer her on and tell her you are proud of her. Be careful and make sure that your DD isn't picking up on your true feelings about her sport and progress...kids are perceptive. This comes from someone whose mom had a similar view of my activities as you seem to have. This led to feelings of inadequacy on my part and confusion why my mom didn't support me in the same way my friends parents supported their kids. Fast forward and now my mom is a grandma. She has made comments to me at meets about DD having an 'off' day when in reality she had a great meet with personal milestones and placements. My mom either cannot see or doesn't appreciate the nuance in gymnastics. For her it's about being the 'best', whatever that means. She also has made negative comments about my DS and his pursuits. As a result, DH and I don't invite my mom to attend many kid functions.

Your DD has found something she is passionate about. Embrace it! Hopefully this will serve her well down the road when she is making career and relationship choices.

Regarding the mismatch between her natural style and her dancy floor routine - do the girls all have the same routine or is it choreographed just for her? Now, you can advocate if you think she may be served by something different. I get the impression from your post though that your issues are greater than her floor routine.

Good luck! I hope you are able to find a way to enjoy the season.

 

[MuggleMom]

seoulmama i have read that article before but it was good to read it again thanks for posting! Always good to use the KISS principle (keep it simple stupid) with our praise--helps keep the focus on what matters.

 

[NY Dad]

article: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rachel-macy-stafford/six-words-you-should-say-today_b_3863643.html

This is what's so great about CB. I never know what great advice I'm going to find. Thanks for posting this!

 

[NY Dad]

I was thinking about this article. For those that didn't read above Spoiler Alert! the 6 words are... “I love to watch you play”.

It made me think of the one and only time I've seen my dd working on her gymnastics skills at the gym. Long-story short, on the car ride home after watching her private lesson we started talking about the lesson. All I could think of (and all I said) was how much fun it was to watch her. She was asking me about specific skills but I told her that to me everything looked amazing. A little later she asked if I could watch her next private lesson. She normally wants to do most everything with her md (dearest mom) so I was really happily surprised that she not only wanted me to drive her there (25 minute drive) but she wanted me to watch her too. At the time I wasn't sure why she was so excited about me watching her. Now it totally makes sense.

 

[CCGymbug]

My daughter started in xcel.....she too was just lacking grace....and I am being kind....fast fwd 3 season to just finishing lvl 4. Parents tell me how graceful she is. Forgive me as I didn't read the responses but how many days is she at the gym per week? Anything less than 2 is pointless and 3 shorter sessions show quicker reaults. I felt similar to you so I did things I could contol like putting glitter in her hair, a little lip gloss etc. Last year her team struggled so I made costumes for one of our meets and our girls won!!! Smile, say your proud and sometimes they surprise you! Some gyms that compete xcel do the same routine to make it easier to learn etc. From my experience those gyms kept it simple and sweet and often won. Speak to the coach and see if you have other options. People didnt believe in my daughter. 2 teams said she wasnt good enough to even be on their pre-team. Well another gym took her and now she is flying. Always believe because if you do, they will.

 

[CCGymbug]

Hi All,

My DD is on Xcel (silver). Her floor routine is mostly dance and she is HORRIBLE at dance. I think the routine was choreographed by the coaches. (I thought in Xcel gymnasts could make up their own routine???? But I guess I was wrong).

She tried ballet once and hated it. Anyway, her floor routine looks awful!!! She is the worst one (by far) on the floor because she can't dance! She looks like a football player trying to do ballet - as she is very muscular and completely lacking in grace.

Her beam routine is also a little dancy and clunky.

Also, I quit watching her practices for the most part because it's not just form that she lacks. I haven't seen her make much progress in skills over the past 1 1/2 years...so it's hard watching her get nowhere.

She says she LOVES it. So...I can't take her out of it...

But, at this point, I'd rather stick a fork in my eye than watch her compete.

Yes - I am the very horrible gym mom.

Any advice?

PM me and I will send u a video of my DD in bronze....I am sure it will make u feel much better!