WAG How to tell your coach you're leaving?

[All Chalked Up]

This one is going to be a doozy.

I will soon begin training at a different gym (gym B).Many girls from our gym (gym A) have switched to gym B in the last few years.

My family is very involved in the gym. I coach & my parents are on the Board of Directors. We are also very implicated in fundraisers.

My coach has a history of not taking things well (particularly gym changes) and except for the last year and a half they put A LOT of effort into getting me where I am with the sport. My team is also very small- about 12 girls. The gym itself is very small also (three beams, one vault, two sets of uneven bars, four floor strips). There are also many coaching issues/"bullying" by my coach.

How do I explain that I am leaving? I'm at a complete loss & scared of how they will react.

 

[iwannacoach]

Tell them you're grateful for the help they've given you, a hug if you want, and if ignore anything negative.

I remember your post about 2 months ago (?) and want to congratulate you on winning the discussion.

 

[All Chalked Up]

Thank you so much. My parents were able to see it from my POV & I was able to see it from theirs

It's not in my nature to "rock the boat" too much so I may go about it as equipment concerns rather than addressing the coaching issues too...

 

[gymnastflip]

I would address the coaching issue even though you don't want to. Maybe just touch on it, but if so many people are going to gym b then gym a probably wants to know why. Think of it as if you were doing them a favour by telling them. They can learn from their mistakes too :S

 

[All Chalked Up]

I certainly would, but I work there (love coaching & do not want to leave my job) and I don't want it to be any more awkward than it will be. There are more conplications of why I shouldn't mention the coaching issues too. Both my parents and I have agreed that's probably the best way to go about it.

 

[gymnastflip]

Oh I see, didn't realise you were staying to coach

 

[iwannacoach]

I would address the coaching issue even though you don't want to. Maybe just touch on it, but if so many people are going to gym b then gym a probably wants to know why. Think of it as if you were doing them a favour by telling them. They can learn from their mistakes too :S

In a utopian world, maybe, but I doubt they're ignorant of how their coaching style affects some kids. In fact I'd be surprised if they've not heard it from a parent or member of the board...... and rolled their eyes in disbelief.

Let the kids be kids, and the parents and board be the energy behind any changes.

Whoops.......... I just posted and saw the previous two posts.

 

[gymnastflip]

In a utopian world.. The kids should really be the energy behind the changes, I mean it's affecting them really. I agree that the coaches won't listen to people who are younger, but if you say something enough times it might get into their head.
But since they want to leave on good terms and be able to coach there it is not going to do any good I agree.

 

[MaryA]

I think I would be prepared for them not to want you to continue to coach. In some ways, that would be a shame. But you have to see things from their point of view too... They want coaches who "buy in" to their gym, and by training somewhere else, you are showing them that you don't. They also might wonder if you might influence other girls (either accidentally or on purpose) to switch gyms too.

 

[bookworm]

I would be shocked if they let you stay to coach in their gym after leaving to train in another one...if you were just leaving altogether, I'd say send them an email AFTER you have left but where you would like to stay on to coach, you're going to have to face the music so to say of talking to the HC or owner about your plans....and don't be surprised if their plan includes showing you the door....

 

[txgymfan]

I agree with Bookworm. I would be stunned if they let you stay and coach. Simply plan on leaving all of it. At the end of a shift or practice clear out your locker ( bring an extra bag if you need to) then talk to the head coach. If you like, offer to stay and coach if they need you, especially for the next two weeks. Standard notice for leaving a job is 2 weeks so be prepared to coach for that long if they request it but don't make them escort you out. Be prepared to leave with your time sheets done, your area clean and all of your ducks in a row.

 

[bookworm]

And to add to Txgymfan's post , I would plan to clean out my locker discretely a day or two before I notified them (start bringing stuff home a little bit each day for a week...) that I was moving gyms so that if they show you the door, you don't have to make a squawk about getting your stuff...

 

[AlexsGymmyMom]

I am pretty sure that they will not keep you on as a coach if you decided to train somewhere else so I think you should be prepared for this. Like bookworm said, start taking some of your personal items home so there is not issue later when you decide to tell them. Good luck with your new gym.

 

[my4buffaloes]

Can you mention that you are having a hard time separating coaching from training and that you feel training at a different gym will help you create the boundaries you need to be a better gymnast and a more effective coach. Of course I have no idea if this is really an issue, but it might soften the blow of leaving and allow you to keep your job.

 

[Kiwi]

I've just been through a gym change and it is difficult. I don't see how you would be able to keep a foot in both camps. Is there a chance you could coach at the new gym?

 

[iwannacoach]

I would be shocked if they let you stay to coach in their gym after leaving to train in another one....

The coach may have very little to say in the matter.

..........My family is very involved in the gym. I coach & my parents are on the Board of Directors. We are also very implicated in fundraisers..........

 

[OzZee]

Another 'excuse' - do you have a lot of team mates of a similar level and age? Does gym B? (I'm thinking maybe not as you say a lot of girls have gone to gym b) Are some good friends of yours at gym B?
You could spin it that you are wanting to move to be able to train with girls of a similar level and age - I'm sure all coaches know it's hard to train 'on your own'.
So that, the equipment issues for higher levels, and I liked the one above about separating coaching and training, all good non confrontational reasons for moving.

 

[All Chalked Up]

Our gym is very small with a HUGE lack of coaches. We have had five T&T kids switch but they still coach, so I'm fairly confident that I will still have my job. I would love to coach at the new gym but it is about 2 hrs away and I don't want to put anymore strain on my parents.

On the issue of "should I mention the coaching or not", the coach has been approached numerous times and is still ignorant about it (this coach is the HC), "my gym, my rules, take it or leave it" kind of thing.

I think no matter the way I word it, my coach will take it VERY personally

 

[All Chalked Up]

Also do not know what to say to my teamates- I don't want to accidently influence them into coming to the new gym since they all seem fairly content.

There's only two other girls my age (one is of my best friends & the other is also a coach but not dedicated to training at all). Neither one will ever leave gym A. Told my good friend, haven't yet told the other girl.

The rest of the team are in between ages 9-10. How do you tell that age group without putting ideas into their heads?

 

[bookworm]

t yet told the other girl.

The rest of the team are in between ages 9-10. How do you tell that age group without putting ideas into their heads?

I wouldn't worry about putting ideas into the heads of 9 and 10 yr olds....they don't drive and your new gym is 2 hrs away...they're not going anywhere