WAG I have a question coach

[samadams]

I don't understand something, you knew Dd would test as a 9 yr this year in Tops. You knew want skills were needed. You moved her to level 6 this past season, why did she spend the whole season doing a squat on on the bars not a toe circle or whatever it's called. Why a backwalk over on beam not a backhand spring,etc? She could have worked this stuff all season and by now it would be mastered instead of spending about 2 hrs a week for the last few months trying to get it. And here we go again this year while the kids she competes against are learning the skills for the upcoming meet season we are behind again because it all Tops this summer. And you know she'll be testing as a 10 yr old next year. Have you seen these kids? They are no slouchers,they are level 8and 9.why should we spend the time and money just so you can say you have a tops team?maybe it's time to come to 2014 and realize that Tops these days is different than years ago when you had kids make it to Texas

 

[Jenny]

oh that is a hard place to be. Can you withdraw her from Tops or would that not go down well.

 

[profmom]

Can you opt out of TOPS? It sounds like it's just frustrating you and possibly your daughter. If she wasn't developmentally ready to do the skills, I can see not competing them at L6, but at least some sound like very good skills to work on for L7.

My son is likewise attempting a very steep uphill climb to get to Future Stars regionals in the 10 year old division after only competing L5 last year, but as one of his coaches says, "What's the worst thing that happens if he goes for it and doesn't make it? He becomes a better gymnast!" My kids' gym doesn't do TOPS, so forgive me if this is just my ignorance, but my impression of these programs is that the real benefit is in the training more than whatever outcomes you get.

 

[Clover]

Can you opt out of TOPS? It sounds like it's just frustrating you and possibly your daughter. If she wasn't developmentally ready to do the skills, I can see not competing them at L6, but at least some sound like very good skills to work on for L7.

My son is likewise attempting a very steep uphill climb to get to Future Stars regionals in the 10 year old division after only competing L5 last year, but as one of his coaches says, "What's the worst thing that happens if he goes for it and doesn't make it? He becomes a better gymnast!" My kids' gym doesn't do TOPS, so forgive me if this is just my ignorance, but my impression of these programs is that the real benefit is in the training more than whatever outcomes you get.

ITA with this post. We are also at a gym that participates in TOPS but doesn't go all out for it like some of the gyms. The girls only train a couple of hours a week for TOPS and therefore most are not competitive at the testings. However, I have seen great benefits for my DD due to the extra training and would recommend it to anyone at our gym in a heart beat - no matter what the athlete's level. As long as you go into it with your long-term goal as improvements because of the training and not national recognition you'll be less likely to be disappointed.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

such a shame.

 

[gotgym]

Im sorry your daughter is struggling with this.Theres so many ways to go about TOPS programs. Originally I handpicked kids.. That year I got one kid to TOPS A team and many unhappy parents.. Now.I open my TOPs program to all. And though most will never test it helps with their regular level having the extra
conditioning and flexibilty. I am very honest and let the parents know who will and who will not test . It does not interfere with their regular practice or level assignments.. Those testing work their stuff continually as a warmup all year and more when their season is over. Since Ive handled it this way Ive had kids make National s, A , B and diamond team every year. BTW Im not the owner so I just charge $30 a month and go in on Sundays to do TOPS

 

[gotgym]

OOps pushed too fast.. I agree Id opt out.

 

[samadams]

Well after some time thinking i realize I should not post in anger. I realize now that I'm trying to make Dd sport mine and that is wrong. This is her dream and love and not mine. I know her life's plan have been made long ago and it is wrong for me to try to push her to what I think is best.I need to practice what I preach. My job is to support her thru the good times and bad.I need to be her rock of support.This dream could end tommorrow and I want to look back and say i enjoyed it. i dont want to look back and think all I did was complain and not see how she grew and blossomed because of gymnastics. It is time to be supportive of her and her coaches and not be so criticizing.

 

[Seeker]

Well after some time thinking i realize I should not post in anger. I realize now that I'm trying to make Dd sport mine and that is wrong. This is her dream and love and not mine. I know her life's plan have been made long ago and it is wrong for me to try to push her to what I think is best.I need to practice what I preach. My job is to support her thru the good times and bad.I need to be her rock of support.This dream could end tommorrow and I want to look back and say i enjoyed it. i dont want to look back and think all I did was complain and not see how she grew and blossomed because of gymnastics. It is time to be supportive of her and her coaches and not be so criticizing.

All of that is true and it's good to know how important your support is to your DD, but it's also fair to question the value of your "purchase". I'm assuming TOPs isn't free, and even if there isn't a separate cost to it, there is value in the time spent working on it (in a futile attempt to learn skills at the last minute it seems). What is the cost of that opportunity? What was she spending time on to prep for TOPs versus what she could have been working on for next season? Was it worth it? See - there is a cost, even if it's not $$$.

I think being a conscientious consumer is a good thing. Yes, your daughter is the gymnast, but you are also a paying customer and it is okay to assess the value of your purchase and be disappointed in it if you're not getting the value you'd like. I think more than anything, the experience has left you frustrated and taken a bit of the shine off the apple in terms of your faith in the coach/program based on the decisions made in this situation. It's frustrating at times for sure. As the adult/parent in this triangulated relationship, we do sometimes have to take a step back and evaluate how things are going. I think that it's healthy to check in with yourself that way actually. Most of the time (we hope) the balance falls in favor of the gym/coach/program. Nothing is ever perfect and some times are rougher than others, but having a consciousness about the things that give you pause is good. Not that you should act/react/over-react to them all, but just having that mental note to watch/listen/think more about a particular something is good. Generally things that are a blip in the radar one week, right themselves naturally by the next week or so and all is well. But if they don't or things that make you go hmmmmm start to pile up, that's how we know when to act, ask a question, etc. Maybe there's a perfectly explainable reason or answer to the questions in your OP (maybe she wasn't ready for those skills) and maybe there's not (maybe they didn't plan far enough ahead and now have to scramble). But it is okay to ask and it's only natural to be a bit emotional about it since gymnastics is such a huge investment of time/$$$/blood-swear-tears.

All that being said, I hope the TOPs testing is a good experience, even if she doesn't have all the skills perfected. Just to go out and do the best she can is a bit of a win and a good experience. Good luck

 

[Deleted member D3987]

All of that is true and it's good to know how important your support is to your DD, but it's also fair to question the value of your "purchase". I'm assuming TOPs isn't free, and even if there isn't a separate cost to it, there is value in the time spent working on it (in a futile attempt to learn skills at the last minute it seems). What is the cost of that opportunity? What was she spending time on to prep for TOPs versus what she could have been working on for next season? Was it worth it? See - there is a cost, even if it's not $$$.

I think being a conscientious consumer is a good thing. Yes, your daughter is the gymnast, but you are also a paying customer and it is okay to assess the value of your purchase and be disappointed in it if you're not getting the value you'd like. I think more than anything, the experience has left you frustrated and taken a bit of the shine off the apple in terms of your faith in the coach/program based on the decisions made in this situation. It's frustrating at times for sure. As the adult/parent in this triangulated relationship, we do sometimes have to take a step back and evaluate how things are going. I think that it's healthy to check in with yourself that way actually. Most of the time (we hope) the balance falls in favor of the gym/coach/program. Nothing is ever perfect and some times are rougher than others, but having a consciousness about the things that give you pause is good. Not that you should act/react/over-react to them all, but just having that mental note to watch/listen/think more about a particular something is good. Generally things that are a blip in the radar one week, right themselves naturally by the next week or so and all is well. But if they don't or things that make you go hmmmmm start to pile up, that's how we know when to act, ask a question, etc. Maybe there's a perfectly explainable reason or answer to the questions in your OP (maybe she wasn't ready for those skills) and maybe there's not (maybe they didn't plan far enough ahead and now have to scramble). But it is okay to ask and it's only natural to be a bit emotional about it since gymnastics is such a huge investment of time/$$$/blood-swear-tears.

All that being said, I hope the TOPs testing is a good experience, even if she doesn't have all the skills perfected. Just to go out and do the best she can is a bit of a win and a good experience. Good luck

boy, you got that right! expand and look down...

 

[Seeker]

boy, you got that right! expand and look down...

hahahaha....well, hopefully no swearing {yet}!

 

[Committed]

Nope.....I think the swearing part is probably accurate