WAG Level 5 Gym Switch?

[Sneezyone]

This whole thread reminds me of how blessed I am with the fantastic coaches at our gym! #feelingblessed

FOR REAL. I find myself making the sign of the cross after reading things here.

 

[rgmom]

Our old gym was notorious for treating parents and gymnasts horribly if they got wind of someone even thinking of looking. We saw many screaming insults in the middle of the gym. Therefore we made the decision we were leaving, had dd try out at new gym, and sent an email thanking them for coaching our dd and stated we were leaving. We then tried to have a civil conversation via the phone and that was the wrong move. We should have just ignored the phone calls. To say it did not go well is an understatement.

Coachp - I think you are rare in the gym world - most gym owners and coaches take it very personally when a gymnast leaves and do not act like adults. It is our job as parents to protect our kids from that.

We had the same experience when we made the difficult experience to change gyms last year. It was horrible. We tried to leave quietly and on good terms, but the old gym owner and coach just wouldn't have it. I also should have ignored the incessant phone calls....sigh.

 

[flowerchild]

Well the problem is, that when a gymnast changes gums, for whatever reason ( unless you are moving across country) it makes other parents question the gym and coaching. Can lead to a mass exodus. So coaches get nervous about people leaving

 

[gymgal]

Well the problem is, that when a gymnast changes gums, for whatever reason ( unless you are moving across country) it makes other parents question the gym and coaching. Can lead to a mass exodus. So coaches get nervous about people leaving

This is such stupid reasoning (not your explanation, flowerchild). If I am comfortable in a gym, why would I care if someone else pulls their child? I could possibly see how this might happen if the gymnast is an elite or several high level gymnasts leave at the same time but to assume something is wrong with the gym or coaches because 1 or 2 compulsory/beginner optional girls leave just seems silly. Parents are not going to just up and leave if their gymnast is doing well and happy there. There is usually an underlying issue that just hasn't brewed to the surface yet and when one person leave, it gives courage for more to leave a bad situation.

 

[flowerchild]

This is such stupid reasoning (not your explanation, flowerchild). If I am comfortable in a gym, why would I care if someone else pulls their child? I could possibly see how this might happen if the gymnast is an elite or several high level gymnasts leave at the same time but to assume something is wrong with the gym or coaches because 1 or 2 compulsory/beginner optional girls leave just seems silly. Parents are not going to just up and leave if their gymnast is doing well and happy there. There is usually an underlying issue that just hasn't brewed to the surface yet and when one person leave, it gives courage for more to leave a bad situation.

I'm just pointing out the obvious. And the Level 1 or 2 or preteam kiddos moving don't seem to cause a stir as much as the optional girls or even the higher profile compulsory kids.

At the gyms I have direct experience with, there is generally a lot of parental gossip when anyone over, say Level 4, moves. Just how it is. If a Level 7 moves, then you can often see a group of girls going all at once. Either carpools, friends, or what ever.

I've also seen groups of 4 - 8 girls leave within 2 months from 2 different gyms. 1 girl leaves, and the rest go like dominoes - and not necessarily to the same gym.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

I'm just pointing out the obvious. And the Level 1 or 2 or preteam kiddos moving don't seem to cause a stir as much as the optional girls or even the higher profile compulsory kids.

At the gyms I have direct experience with, there is generally a lot of parental gossip when anyone over, say Level 4, moves. Just how it is. If a Level 7 moves, then you can often see a group of girls going all at once. Either carpools, friends, or what ever.

I've also seen groups of 4 - 8 girls leave within 2 months from 2 different gyms. 1 girl leaves, and the rest go like dominoes - and not necessarily to the same gym.

Yes this happens all the time. I have gotten groups of kids, and several years ago I lost about 10 in one season....... You would be amazed at the influence people have over others particularly as a group. That is why I always say, have a meeting and make sure it's the right reason.

 

[Aero]

Aoro and Coachp, if you'll notice in my post just prior to Aero's, I describe our switch after " many a chat" with the coaches about what was going on with the situation... Times they had told me " when we feel we can't coach her anymore, we'll help you find the best place going forward "...well I waited it out 3 years of promises and finally said " it's not working, I need to move her for her to get X skill, where do you you suggest?" ...and all hell broke loose! We were shown the door, accused of thinking we were better than everyone else, told she'd NEVER get X skill and that they could still coach her and that we were being ridiculous to think otherwise.... So in this scenario, I think the coaches thought that we left for the " wrong" reasons but after she got the skill in question within 2 weeks of moving, I knew that we had moved for the "right" reason.... I had talked to them until I was blue in the face, given them time to coach the skill ( or get in someone who could) and it never happened....

We were treated so awful by this coach afterwards , that is why I advise a keep your mouth shut policy going forward because in the course of our numerous chats , I never saw it coming...

@bookworm, you did all you could, and it was totally on them at that point. They reacted totally unprofessionally, and those types of gyms are the ones that lose business through word of mouth. Honestly, they were just sour that they couldn't meet her needs and didn't have the ability to act respectfully and gracefully. It was good that you left!

That being said, this was one experience, and is not indicative of all gyms. There is a lot that can be done to gauge how a gym will respond to a gym switch, but in your case you did everything you could and it was still not enough for this gym. Sometimes there is nothing you can do...

You know..."not happy with how child is progressing" can be a legitimate reason for a move. We found after a gym move (unrelated to progression) that what we thought were limitations on our child's part were actually limitation on the coaches' part who didn't know how (couldn't bother???) to work with a child who needed a different kind of coaching. Turns out, my child is actually quite capable of getting some of the skills that couldn't be mastered at old gym. Turns out, my child now actually has skills that former teammates don't have yet. Turns out, I had underestimated my child because we believed the coaches at former gym were doing a good job. Had we not switched gyms, I probably would have kept on thinking that my child just was not that good at gymnastics. Old teammates were progressing fine so the problem must have been with my child, yes? In the end, what was needed was different coaching!

So yeah, I can understand why parents make gym moves because they are unhappy with how their child is progressing. It's not all black and white.

Not being happy with how your child is progressing can be a deep issue, with many different types of scenarios for different people in different situations. The specific one I mentioned in my post is absolutely a wrong reason for a gym switch. I was talking about pushy parents that push against the coach to have their daughter compete skills she is not ready for. This is a fault of the parent, who is trying to be project the problem on to the coach, when the coach is really just trying to keep the kid safe and progress her correctly. This is CGP behavior.

My specific example aside, there are also many examples where a kid might be progressing slowly, but a pushy parent might think it's the coach's inability, when it's really just what the kid needs at that point in time. An example of this would be switching your kid to another gym over vestibular issues, while the coach was really trying to handle the problem the correct way by backing off the skill and returning to drills. Sometimes parents don't know what they're talking about, and just don't have the esoteric knowledge that a gymnastics coach has. You're right, it certainly isn't black and white.

Now with all that being said, I agree with you that sometimes kids just perform better with certain types of coaches. It's a fact. It could be a very valid reason for a move. But what if you didn't find the coach you were looking for after the switch? Would you switch again? The cycle could continue over and over, and then lo and behold, you have turned into a CGP. You have to know what kind of personalities your kid jives with very well, and then be sure the new gym has coaches like that before you make a switch based on that reason. Otherwise, it could turn into a slot machine pull, hoping for everything to line up just right. It looks like you made the right decision though, so I applaud you for that. Gym switches really are not easy.

Coaching philosophy...#1 reason. Coach may say child left for the wrong reason because the coach believes in his/her philosophy. But not every athlete can learn and excel under that approach to coaching. Some can. Those that can't need to find what works for them by going to another gym.

This covers things like spotting vs. little/no spotting, working out "on their own," drills vs. not enough drills, not dealing with fears in a way that helps the athlete. Those are all the right reasons to leave, but coaches may not think so because it would call into question their coaching.

The whole reason gym switching is such a touchy subject is because there are large egos present in a lot of coaches. It's unfortunate. Sometimes these coaches eventually learn to change their ways, but usually after learning the hard way multiple times with gymnasts leaving. Sometimes, they never learn. Then there are some who strive to always be better, and learn from their shortcomings, and strive to improve in the areas they are lacking. These are the ones who, when told about the possibility of a gym switch, will do everything in their power to try to fix the issues that may be prompting the switch, whatever they may be. These are the coaches who will appreciate being told, instead of just one day coming into practice and noticing a girl he's coached for countless practices is suddenly gone, without a trace...

 

[CCGymbug]

I haven't read all the comments but I can say the beam is my daughter's biggest challenge. I wonder if the coach said it so your daughter could clear her head, not worry about her score and just do her best.