I scored the second one & the deductions that I took (these could differ slightly from what the judge took due to the different angle) were:
.1-incorrect head alignment (first flight)
.2- pike (first flight)
.1- incorrect head alignment (support phase)
.1- slightly too long in support phase
.2-.4 - angle of repulsion (it's hard to see from this angle)
.2- insufficient height
.2 - insufficient distance
Final Score: 8.5-8.7 depending on angle of repulsion
So, as most others have said, her biggest deductions are all coming from the pike-on & arch-off, which causes all of the height, distance, & repulsion deductions. I don't know if a private would help much because she's probably been doing this vault this way for a long time. Those habits take time & repetition, along with building strength to break. Good luck at state! Let us know how it goes!