Parents New Parent and Gym Concerns

[munchkin3]

Windy days, we have a child exactly like this and her mom is the sick one. I have told my DD to steer clear and to ignore her antics. But it is very hard for all the kids in the gym to have such a disruption in class.
She can be balling one second, stomping on the ground having a tantrum, and then go right to making jokes. Her mother coaches her all the time. When this girl gets sent out, the mother sends her back in. She argues with the coaches. When she doesn't get her way, she runs out and tells her mother that the coaches are being mean to her, and not helping and not spotting! and she is going to get hurt, etc.... The lies go on and on.

And yes, they do become friends. And this is where I get worried for my daughter. In this case, the girl is also very sick. She needs major psychological help. I can see my daughter trying to be nice to her, and then getting thrown under the bus.

The gym will handle it at some point. There is a liability aspect that seems glaring to me. This lady could easily find a reason to complain, or sue. From the parents perspective I think it is just so sad to see a child in the process of spinning out of control. I would hate to see this child when she is 15.

The watching thing? Sorry this is America. We can sit and watch if we want BUT It is better for our athletes to leave them alone. They don't like to have a parent watching them.....this is a family decision. Not a gym one.

 

[profmom]

I like watching sometimes, not because I want to coach or critique my children's performance, but because I find the teaching aspect interesting -- I'm very curious about the drills and progressions and how they lead into more complex skills. Yeah, I am a geek.

Munchkin, that sounds like an awful situation. I hope there's a serious intervention soon.

 

[munchkin3]

There will be....I cannot imagine this going on for much longer. One thing I keep telling myself though it , DONT get involved.
In the past I very gently told this mom how maybe she could consider getting help for her daughter ( I have a kid with special needs so....). She glossed over and was like, well, my DD is perfect! Everyone else has the problem.....end of story.

Yeah, watching is a double edged sword. I don't like observing my older gymmie, and he HATES it.....but my little gymmie still needs me there.......once summer starts, I'm not there at all since practice is during working hours....it will be fun seeing the progress after two months!!!!!

 

[OzZee]

I am currently working on applying it to as many aspects of my life as possible. Beginning with the housework.

what not being in the same room whilst the housework is done? That sounds good, lol.

We can watch, no one does past rec. Even those that travel tend to have things to do (I guess shopping and stuff?) sometimes someone might stay for 30mins or so(I do one day a week due to pickups, if I don't have something to do I'll sit and read for 45 mins rather than going to the shops and spending money, lol.
With working at the gym, picking up various kids I'm in and out sometimes so see a bit, but then usually not watching anyway.
But I have kids in sports where there is a strong no watch policy (dance being the strongest, they go in behind closed doors, come out of closed doors and one in another sport where you can watch the last 10 mins) so I don't find that odd. Same as I wouldn't go and watch at school.
I like that it's relaxed and if you are around you can watch but if you couldn't it wouldn't bother me. I have good friends and acquaintances through gym so it's nice to stay and chat for 20 mins without being worried about being kicked out.

 

[profmom]

I will admit that sometimes DS is a little over enthusiastic. When he gets some TOTALLY AWESOME new skill, he always wants me to take a cell phone video of him doing it if I'm in the vicinity and paying attention. Once when I was not there, he actually wheedled another mom into doing it so she could show me the video. His coach seems to find this amusing.

DD usually doesn't notice if I'm there or not, though if she gets something big, she will sometimes ask me to come see it.

 

[stillgotmyleotard]

In a word, OzZee: YES! It's working out well, thanks to being at the gym.

 

[cbifoja]

I really feel like each family has to decide what is best for them in terms of the watching thing. I'm weaning my child this summer due to such long practice times. I don't want to sit in the gym all summer long. Plus she has become old enough to take care of a health issue she has and we are making plans on helping her deal with big situations. Now if the coach TOLD me I couldn't stay, I personally would have a problem with it but I also respect the fact that some parents feel their kid does better by not staying.

Like other posters have said, most parents have enough sense not to coach their kids. I don't. I sit in the lobby behind the doors and glass wall and do different things. And I also enjoy when she runs out to have me watch this or that skill and yes even sometimes come into the gym and video her. And mostly I love that her coach is perfectly okay with this.

 

[gracyomalley]

DD kicked me out of the gym last year. I hadn't watched practices since the boys moved to team at another gym (before that they had one hour rec classes during her team practice so I was there some), but I do like to come in and chat with the other moms at drop of and pick up (when I do it - my parents do more than half of the shuttling so I can work)....her need for me to stay out has been a damper on my limited social life!

Interestingly, DS the oldest WANTS me to watch all the time now that he is blossoming as a gymnast - which is much more fun as a parent than having to wait and see....and DD did smile big last week when I took them to open gym and "caught" her doing free hips to HS, overshoots and back tucks on low beam - I figure she was ready to show me, otherwise she wouldn't have done anything while I was in the building.



The coaches are right that the kids need to "own their gymnastics" and we need to stay out of it - which is hard if you sit there scrutinizing each pointed toe - no matter how good your intentions. BUT I also understand that as parents its uncomfortable to be told you CAN'T watch. It seems that most of us parents will get to that healthy point of letting go if our kids stick with it long enough...

 

[Deleted member 14190]

Yes, but staying at the gym because the drive home is too long and expensive doesn't mean we are bothering the kids, or not giving them independence. I'm just saying I could not deal with a policy that won't allow me to see my kids practice if I wanted to. I would wonder what was going on that we couldn't see, it would make me suspicious. An open door policy is not a bad thing, it helps with trust and feeling safe that your child is in good hands. Parents that don't obey the "no coaching your child from the balcony" get called out in front of everyone, so it rarely happens. Like I said, I don't want to argue about this policy, I just wanted to hear from a parent(s) that goes along with it and how they deal. And I got a few responses that answered that question. I don't need the the famous sharp tongue of Coach P. I never bother the coaches, or interfere, I know better. I just can't imagine being barred from practice. That's all.

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huh? windydays started this thread, and i did not even read your past post.....